Vote for Toby!

WEEK OF AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 2, 2002

• BRITISH MEN ARE CHEAP, DRUNK AND STIFF-LIPPED: What we don't like about the New York Times is their unelected writers such as Thomas Friedman and William Safire think that they can dictate foreign policies.  We'll give Paul Krugman a pass since he is at least a professional economist.  What we like about the New York Times is the occasional unexpected wake-up call.
   
  In this Sunday's paper, Sarah Lyall wrote about British men.  In Aussie-speak, this article is a 'beaut.'  One woman wrote: "Since moving to London, my romantic life has been characterized by last-minute text messages, incomprehensible drunkards, first-date coke bingers and split bar tabs."  Describing a series of disastrous dates with a series of disastrous men, none of whom laid even a finger on her, she concluded that most English males suffer from "glaring sexual insecurity" and secretly prefer the company of other men.  And of course this woman is from ... Canada!  Not that this was an isolated case, as some celebrities weighed in.  
   
  Gwyneth Paltrow: "British people don't seem to ask each other on dates.  If someone asks you, they're going out on a limb, whereas in America it happens all the time. Someone will come up to you and ask you for dinner and you'll say, 'Sure.'  It's no big deal and no weight will be attached to it.  It's only dinner, for God's sake."  
   
  Heather Graham: "When it comes to their emotions, British men are of the stiff-upper-lip school of thought - you never know what they're feeling."
   
  Cindy Blake: "There's a nervousness about being with women.  There's a feeling men have that women are going to ruin their fun and their lives and chain them indoors, and make them do things they don't want to do, and not let them do things they do want to do.  The idea of being alone with a woman is too scary because then they might have to deal - or to talk about themselves."
   
  So, here is our question --- Does this explain why our club is disproportionately populated with so many Brits?
    

• AUGUST WEB VISITOR LOG REPORT: Either (1) not everyone followed their psycho-analysts to Martha's Vineyard or the Hamptons, or (2) most runners are not under psycho-analysis like they should be.  We had the best month of our lives and, on an annualized basis, we are a 4,000,000 hit website, with 600,000 page views, 144,000 home page visits and 100 gigabytes of bandwidth.  Furthermore, this is not push technology where we forced the content onto people without choice --- it was their choice to gobble it up.
   
  There are some large multipliers involved here.  First, we had 69 finishers in the Club Team Championships, but the corresponding photo album page was seen 775 times.  Then we had maybe 50 people at the softball game afterwards, but the corresponding page was seen 363 times.  Finally, here is the best statistic --- the application form was downloaded 77 times, which should make our treasurer very happy.
     

• HISTORY LESSONS:  Just as a matter of curiosity, we went back and looked up the results for the 1997 Club Team Championships.  Five years ago, the men and women both finished in fifth place.  In 2002, only Alan Ruben and Peter Allen were in the scoring again.  Names like Toby Tanser, Jonathan Pillow, Craig Chilton, Erik Goetze, Margaret Angell, Alayne Adams, Audrey Kingsley, ... have not even appeared yet.  If we compare our 2002 and 1997 men's teams, we are deeper now with 11 (compared to 5) runners under 28 minutes.

1997 MEN, 5th place open team

Overall Place	Age Place	Name	Age	Finish Time	Minute/Mile
34	3	Alan Ruben	40	26:39	5:19
40	17	Hank Berkowitz	35	26:56	5:23
47	22	Peter Allen	35	27:06	5:25
63	32	Ramon Bermo	30	27:37	5:31
66	34	Richard Joseph	34	27:39	5:31
91	48	Casey Yamazaki	34	28:12	5:38
99	53	Jud Santos	33	28:25	5:41
103	55	Brian Marchese	30	28:28	5:41
118	64	Michael Garland	34	28:56	5:47
123	68	Larry Glazer	35	29:05	5:49

1997 WOMEN, 5th place open team

Overall Place	Age Place	Name	Age	Finish Time	Minute/Mile
13	10	Rachel Latessa	34	30:32	6:06(PR)
14	11	Stephanie Gould	31	30:37	6:07(PR)
37	20	Stacy Creamer	37	32:21	6:28
39	5	Sarah Gross	40	32:22	6:28(PR)
44	25	Jacqueline Cortes	35	32:41	6:32

We are mindful that these things are cyclical in nature.  If we peek back to ten years ago, we have these scorers, with Alan Ruben the only one to score again ten years later.  

1992 MEN, 4th place open team

1. Fred Schuler, 25:31, 7th overall

2. Alan Ruben, 26:26

3. Roane Carey, 26:26

4. Rick Pieschel, 26:45, 1st masters

5. Andreas Nolte, 27:11

6. Tim Robinson, 27:16

7. Jon Weilbaker, 27:19

8. Julio Toral, 27:26

9. Ricardo Granados, 27:30

10. Gene Meyer, 27:39

1992 WOMEN, 2nd place open team

1. Candace Strobach, 28:16, 1st overall

2. Claudia Malley (neé Porfilio), 29:57

3. Laurie Jones, 32:00

4. Jane Ellen Hickey, 32:25

5. Stephanie Gobbo, 32:39

In 1992, we had 12 men runners under 28 minutes (add Hank Berkowitz and Rick Shaver to that list) and we finished in the same fourth place as the 2002 team.  The point here is that the Central Park Track Club is a dynamic organization whose membership is always in flux.  People come and people go all the time.  There will be some good years (e.g. in the mid-1980's, the aveage time of our top 10 runners was just over 25 minutes for five miles), and there will also be some lean years.  The important thing is to have the institutional strength to endure (PEP = Patience, Enthusiasm and Persistence).

A better indicator of the state of the club is the number of finishers --- on the men's side, the numbers were 47, 30 and 39 in 2002, 1997 and 1992; on the women's side, the numbers were 22, 11 and 15.  We are now a deeper and faster team than five years ago, and we have the institutional mechanisms (yes, this web page is one of those things) to attract more people.

• MEMORIAL VAN DAMME MEET:  The two results of interest to us are that both Ana Guevara and Felix Sánchez won and remain in contention for those kilos of gold.  Only the Berlin meet is left.  You can read about the other results yourself, as our Latin American sponsors do not oblige us to mention anyone else.

• MISERY LOVES COMPANY?:  We read with some dismay that the University of Missouri-Rolla was reported by the Princeton Review as the school with the 'least happy students.'  Now we have never been to Rolla and we don't know anyone from there.  So what do we care?
   
  Our affection for the University of Missouri-Rolla goes back to November 2001 and December 2001, when the University of Missouri-Rolla crashed into our list of top thirty most frequent visitors, right up there with the Morgan Stanley's, J.P. Morgan's and McGraw-Hill's.  Someone had logged in from the university library and browsed through our entire website.  Any speculation between the misery and us is precisely that --- speculative.
    

• THE HERMENEUTICAL RUNNING CLUB: Question: "What is this thing about being the first self-proclaimed hermeneutical running club?"
   
  It is accepted by many that graduate students are forced to read much that will never ever be used again.  We regard this as a total lack of imagination about the applicability of knowledge.  Like many graduate students, we were forced to thumb through, among other things, Hans-Georg Gadamer's Wahrheit und Methode, and then we spend the rest of our lives trying to find relevance.  And relevance was everywhere to be found.  Gadamer is best known for philosophical hermeneutics.  Here is an explanation: 

Understanding is bound and embedded in history because understanding deploys the knower's effective-history, personal experience and cultural traditions, to assimilate new experiences. Thus, the initial structure of an effective-history constrains the range of possible interpretations, excluding some possibilities and calling forth others. As effective-history constitutes the prejudices brought to bear in understanding, it simultaneously and dialectically limits any self-conscious attempts to dissolve those prejudices. Gadamer thus explicitly opposes the scientific ideal of prejudiceless objectivity in interpretation. In this respect, he moves beyond Heidegger, who regarded so-called scientific objectivity as a derivative of existential understanding. Gadamer does not deny the importance of either scientific understanding or critical interpretation, a form of interpretation that introspectively questions assumptions unreflectively inherited from cultural traditions. His focus on the human context of knowledge emphasizes the need for repeated attempts at critical understanding, through which people can gain the insight needed to correct their prejudices. But, if prejudices may be individually overcome, their fact is inescapable. It imposes a priori limitations on the extent to which a self-reflective methodology can eliminate distortions from scientific inquiry. The critical self-consciousness of a rational agent who introspectively questions received traditions may counter distorting consequences of effective-history, but it at best only leads to successive approximations of objectivity.

The question originally came up about how a new visitor is supposed to comprehend Central Park.  There is an objective Central Park out there, which is encapsulated by the rocks, roads, trails, trees, grass, plants, birds, water bodies, monuments, lampposts, softball fields, zoos, theaters, rinks, row boats, etc.  Each person will approach these objective data based upon his/her own 'effective history, personal experience and cultural traditions.'  For example, runners, birdwatchers and soccer players will probably have very different priorities and perceptions.  These 'prejudices' lead to different subjective appreciations and understandings of Central Park, all of which are valid because there is no such thing as one single scientifically objective and universal understanding.  

What is more important is that people can enrich their understanding through new information and interpretations.  Such knowledge could be as mundane as, "Where do the park rangers conceal themselves in the bushes so that they can surprise you with a fine?"  Or it may be a historical fact, such as the Hamilton statue which took Frank Handelman thirty years of running in the park before he 'discovered' it at a workout.  So we suggest that you treat every excursion in Central Park as an occasion to discover fresh insight and new revelations, and every new insight is bound to modify and enhance your previous knowledge.

Acknowledgement:  Priority for this way of approaching Central Park must be given to Stuart Calderwood.  It seems that every time that he gives a workout, we get a geo-social-cultural-historical lesson. 

• MORE TOBY TANSER ENDORSEMENTS:  
   
  (1) Dan Capiello (The Reservoir Dogs): "By now everyone should have received their NYRRC proxy form to vote for the board of directors. Most of you will recognize a name on that list - Toby Tanser.  He is running for the board of directors and will be great for NY running if elected.  Obviously Toby knows the running scene in NY and as such can make changes that are beneficial to us - the runners.  He has helped many of us achieve our personal goals and can make a difference to all runners in this position.  I urge you all to vote for him.  Rarely do I try to persuade anyone's opinion, but I do feel strongly that Toby can make a difference if elected."
    
   (2) Ramon Bermo (Team In Training): "Those of you that are members of the NYRRC will be getting or already gotten a proxy for the election of NYRRC board of directors. A good friend of mine, Toby Tanser, is running (no pun intended) and I urge you to vote for him and not just because he is my friend (most of you probably know him as well from seeing him in the park,).  Anyway, he is a runner that can bring great things to the organization.  I could give many reasons why you should vote for him, but I don't want you to spend your day reading when you could be running. Just trust me, if you want things to improve in the running community, he is a person that can do that. And if you are still not convinced, just do it as favor to me!"
   
  Just bear in mind that the NYRRC annual meeting will be held on September 23rd, and your proxy form should be mailed in before then.  The envelope is postage-paid, so all you have to do is check the boxes, sign your name, write in the date, put the form in the envelope, seal the envelope and drop it in a mailbox.  Easy as pie.
   

• NOT SO FAMOUS SAYING:  Well, we will just have to make sure that this one does not make it to the permanent archives of famous sayings: "Hi, I want to tell you how much I enjoy re-reading some of your stuff now and again, especially the workout reports and the food reviews, because they remind me of how retarded you can be.  That was a compliment, in case you don't get it."  Well, buddy, you have a nice day too!
    

• A SUMMER PAST:  As Labor Day approaches, we are thinking of a past summer.  Not the summer of 2002, but the summer of 1915 in Knoxville, Tennessee.  That summer was the subject of the short autobiographical piece by James Agee, which has become one of the most famous piece of American prose:

We are talking now of summer evenings in Knoxville Tennessee in that time that I lived there so successfully disguised to myself as a child.

... It has become that time of evening when people sit on their porches, rocking gently and talking gently and watching the street and the standing up into their sphere of possession of the tress, of birds' hung havens, hangars.  People go by; things go by.  A horse, drawing a buggy, breaking his hollow iron music on the asphalt: a loud auto: a quiet auto: people in pairs, not in a hurry, scuffling, switching their weight of aestival body, talking casually, the taste hovering over them of vanilla, strawberry, pasteboard, and starched milk, the image upon them of lovers and horsemen, squared with clowns in hueless amber.  A streetcar raising its iron moan; stopping; belling and starting, stertorous; rousing and raising again its iron increasing moan and swimming its gold windows and straw seats on past and past and past, the bleak spark crackling and cursing above it like a small malignant spirit set to dog its tracks; the iron whine rises on rising speed; still risen, faints; halts; the faint stinging bell; rises again, still fainter; fainting, lifting, lifts, faints foregone: forgotten.  Now is the night one blue dew.

Now is the night one blue dew, my father has drained, he has coiled the hose.

Low on the length of lawns, a frailing of  fire who breathes...

Parents on porches: rock and rock.  From damp strings morning glories hang their ancient faces.

The dry and exalted noise of the locusts from all the air at once enchants my eardrums.

On the rough wet grass of the back yard my father and mother have spread quilts. We all lie there, my mother, my father, my uncle, my aunt, and I too am lying there... They are not talking much, and the talk is quiet, of nothing particular, of nothing at all in particular, of nothing at all.  The stars are wide and alive, they seem each like a smile of great sweetness, and they seem very near.  All my people are larger bodies than mine, ... with voices gentle and meaningless like the voices of sleeping birds.  One is an artist, he is living at home.  One is a musician, she is living at home.  One is my mother who is good to me.  By some chance, here they are, all on this earth; and who shall ever tell the sorrow of being on this earth lying on quilts, on the grass, in a summer evening, among the sounds of the night. May God bless my people, my uncle, my aunt, my mother, my good father, oh, remember them kindly in their time of trouble; and in the of hour of their taking away.

After a little I am taken in and put to bed.  Sleep, soft smiling, draws me unto her; and those receive me, who quietly treat me, as one familiar and well-beloved in that home; but will not, oh, will not, not now, not ever; but will not ever tell me who I am.

P.S.  For those who prefer to read this in Icelandic, we have found a translation.

The reputation of this piece of prose was no doubt enhanced by the fact that it was set to music by Samuel Barber.  It is difficult to assess the canonical performances of this song by Eleanor Steber and Leontyne Price due to the recording quality in their times.  The best contemporary recording that we recommend is by Dawn Upshaw, followed by Kathleen Battle.  This is an amazing piece of music because it is difficult to think of a piece of prose being set to music so seamlessly.
 
We think of the kind of summer described by Agee as being a mostly passé culture nowadays, certainly in New York City.  Who amongst us have a porch?  In fact, we are lucky to even have a window view.  Certainly very few people sit outside watching the stars, as they would rather be rushing around with cellular phones stuck to their ears, or watching television in their air-conditioned rooms.

Nevertheless, we can say this about summer in New York City ---

It has become that time of evening when we meet to run in Central Park.  We are not talking much, and the talk is quiet, of nothing particular, of nothing at all in particular, of nothing at all.  One is a lawyer, he has lived in New York City for thirty years.  One is a teacher, she has just moved here.  One is our coach, who is good to us.  By some chance, here they are, all on this earth; and who shall ever tell the sorrow of being on this earth as we run along the roads, in a summer evening, among the sounds of the night.  May God bless my people, oh, remember them kindly in their time of trouble; and in the hour of their taking away ...

We are not the first ones to misappropriate the Agee prose, as this parody titled Knoxville: Summer 1998 by Jack Neely is famous too:

We are talking now of summer evenings in Knoxville, Tennessee, as I knew them when I was so successfully disguised as a Talented And Gifted elementary-school student with a mild manifestation of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

It was a middle-class cul-de-sac; the houses of brick and vinyl siding all looked from a distance like grand Gothic cathedrals and up close more or less like trailers. Around the houses were softwooded trees, mostly Bradford pears, most of them planted last month, but some of them almost three months old. There were invisible fences, marked with little plastic white flags, around the yards to keep in the Dalmatians and other dogs that we had seen in the movies, but they did not keep them in. The dogs would charge at the flags of the invisible fence and make a single cry of unmuted anguish combined with a weird ecstasy, surely aware somewhere within their feral crania of the paradox of their pain and pleasure arriving at once, and then be gone for the evening; they would return only to eat dog food from the no-tip plastic bowls marked with the names by which they were known. Because it was a cul-de-sac, as the real-estate agent told us all the safest middle-class neighborhoods were, the people we did not recognize were the people who did not belong here and should go somewhere else soon.  On the cell phone he held in the yard, my father would call 911 and describe to the police the people he did not know.

The men were mostly small businessmen, one or two very modestly executives, many of them clerical, and most of them between 30 and 45. They stood in their yards with their hoses and cell phones, but mostly with their cell phones.

But it is of these evenings I speak.  Supper was at 6:00 and was over at half past, especially when there wasn't a line at the drive-thru. My mother would get the fajitas, my father would get the nachos grande, and I would get the seven-layer burrito deluxe, which had a toy Godzilla in a sealed plastic sleeve.  We would always be together at supper, strapped safely into the car.

There was still daylight, shining softly and with a tarnish, like the lining of polyester swimtrunks.  In the twilight stood the fathers in T-shirts that have words on them, some words alluding to the heroes of sport, some words which were overtly sexual, some words which were merely suggestive, in what they believed to be good taste; they would appear one by one, holding cell phones and plastic spray bottles of Roundup, the hueless fluid with its promise of no mercy and no pity, no, not ever; and they squirt the dandelions and clover and violets until they shrivel in grey submission; at length there are only four plant species left surviving in our lawn, now only three species, now only two, now only one.  Now is the night of one blue fescue.

There are locusts whirring in the trees, though now they are called cicadas, and they and most of the insects are silent because they are dead. There are not many fireflies because in the days when there were fireflies the children would catch them and put them in a jar and freeze them by the hundreds until they stop moving, and then they send them to Oak Ridge for good money.

The children, most of them well-fed and plump, run or, mostly, lumber, yelling those names by which they were known, but mostly on these summer evenings they would run within the house, across the cool carpets of the house, between the various rooms of the house, between the big-screen TV in the recreation room and the computer in the breakfast nook where they played Bludgeonmaster and Lasertron and Gorefest 2000. They emerge from the house mainly when it has come the time of evening that we climb into the minivan to go to the soccer game.

It is not of the games children play in the evening that I want to speak now but of their parents who yell at them while they play. They are all there, my mother, my father, my uncle, my aunt.  All my people are larger bodies than mine, with voices meaningless and stertorous like the voices of large predatory birds.  One is my mother who is yelling at me.  One is my father who is yelling at me.  One is a computer graphics animator; she is yelling at me; one is a telemarketer; he is yelling at me.  By some chance, here they are, all on this soccer field on quilts in the grass, yelling at me.  And who shall ever tell the sorrow of being on this field, running as they watch in the lined grass among the loud sounds of night.

May God bless my people and remember them kindly in our hour of loss, 13-0, and hasten the hour of our driving away.

At home, in the driveway, we unbuckled and disembarked from the minivan which held our hopes and dreams and darkest fears; on the blacktop streets beyond the mailbox there was a loud auto, and a quiet auto, then another loud auto, then a really loud auto; then a loud, throbbing auto; then some more loud autos, then a tractor trailer rig, then some minivans, then another loud auto, then some more really, really loud autos, then a jeep full of well-fed white boys listening to gangsta rap.

Back at home, in the yard, there were no people at all.  The sounds of night were the sounds of the air conditioners that were attached to the houses, installed on concrete slabs next to the houses.  Chiefly, the air conditioners were set much alike, in a compromise between very cold and chilly (and quite surely a sense of art behind this compromise), and the sounds therefore were pitched much alike, something between a whir and a hush, with the occasional clatter of a deviant fan blade.

And from the big jeeps, aestival chariots, the beefy freshmen in tank tops and backwards caps drive to the sound of loud rap, each beefy warrior identical to the next, each jeep-chariot identical to the next, each throbbing song identical to the next; there is never one rapper or one jeep full of white boys listening to rappers, but an illusion of at least a thousand jeeps, a thousand rappers, and a thousand beefy white boys alike; the noise of each rapper is pitched in some classic rapper range out of which none of them varies more than two full tones-and yet you seem to hear each rapper discrete from all the rest.  They are all around, from every street and every jeep, so that the noise seems to come from nowhere and everywhere at once, shivering in your eardrums and teasing your groin, the boldest of all sounds of night, its throbbing exalted not by man or by the dark sky itself but by a powerful Bazooka amplifier.  And yet gangsta rap is habitual to summer nights and is one of the great gangsta order of noises, like the noises of transformers blowing in an electrical storm and of dental drills and of shovels on asphalt.

But we did not spread our quilts on the lawn on those evenings, to prevent soaking them with the poisons of the lawn.  Now, we spread our blankets inside, where it is chilly, and it has come that time of the evening when we watch COPS and Hard Copy and the rerun of Seinfeld-the one where everyone thinks Seinfeld is gay, then a rerun of Coach, the one where everyone thinks Coach is gay, then a rerun of Frasier, the one where everyone thinks Frasier is gay. Then comes Friends, the one where everyone thinks the Friends are gay.  Then they would plug in a video: Diehard, as was their choice on most of the nights of the summer, or Scream, or perhaps Terminator II; most of what we watch on TV, most of what we do, most of what we wear, most of what we listen to on these summer evenings, is to prove that we are not gay, that none of our people will believe we are gay, no, not ever; and that we will not, oh will not ever see ourselves in a sitcom, for they never, no never, make sitcoms about people who spend their summer evenings watching TV, and when we are watching we know that we are safe and unembarrassed by those who would think us gay.

Outside the vinyl bay windows, people go by, things go by, people in pairs, not in a hurry; we call the police.

Then, when the videos have been snapped away safely in their plastic coffins, comes the time of the night that we retire to the dark solitude of our bedrooms and surf the Internet. In the secret glow of the screen, we spend hours in the chat rooms, looking for something interesting that we do not find, something but nothing in particular, something of nothing.

The Internet, softly smiling, draws me to her; and those who receive my E-mail are those who quietly treat me as one familiar and well-beloved in that Web site and ask for my address and phone number and the name of my elementary school: but will not, oh will not, not now, not ever; but will not ever tell me their real names.

• EYESIGHT COMPLAINT:  From a member of the Central Park Triathlon Club: "Either you are blind, or else you are doing a massive cover-up job, because you failed to report that Tony Ruiz was wearing an Ironman Championship t-shirt at the Thursday road workout.  Sooner or later, the Dark Side will get all of you!"
   

• ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA: From Charles Allard Jr.: "I am in awe at the Journal portion of the web site these days.  If you ever lose your day job, you can use this web site as a resumé when you apply for your job as a writer for the Encyclopedia Britannica."  Are you sure you got that right? --- we think that we would have to make sure that we don't include this website on our resumé ...
   

• COMPLAINING ABOUT A COMPLAINT: "David Smith asked the rhetorical question: 'Maybe Stacy (Creamer)  really is a covert triathlete with a cupboard full of hardware!!...'  Well, EVERYBODY and ANYBODY who pays attention to this website must know from Stuart Calderwood's 2001 Surprise Party that Stacy's trophies are displayed on a shrine in her dining room, and not locked up in some cupboard."
    

• THURSDAY ROAD WORKOUT REPORT: One weather report had a prediction of one inch of rainfall in the evening (note: the final official total was 2.65 inches for the whole day).  But we had stated explicitly that this workout will not be cancelled due to rain, so the show went on with forty-seven people at the start of the workout.  As it turned out, there was just a very light drizzle during the workout, with a cooling effect no less.  It was even more astonishing to see so many people just hang out AFTER the workout in that drizzle.  
   
  Among the count was a visitor from Sacramento, running in Central Park with a map in his hand.  "Can I join you?"  "Of course!"  Our road workouts are open to the public.  And the good thing is that even if you don't know how to get around, we promise you that we will deposit you back at the start (namely, the Daniel Webster statue at the corner of 72nd Street and West Drive).  As T.S Elliot wrote in Little Gidding (Four Quartets) (1943):

We shall not cease from exploration 
And the end of all our exploring 
Will be to arrive where we started 
And know the place for the first time.

Yes, we lay claim to be the first self-proclaimed hermeneutical running club in the world.   There may be other clubs who do similar things, but we must surely be the first ones to position it that way.

At last weekend's New York City Marathon Tune-Up (18 miles), we were led by the usual suspects (Craig Chilton, Kevan Huston, Toby Tanser, etc).  But the coach wanted to highlight the fact that Brad Weiss (aka "Mr Walkman") averaged 6:37 min/mile pace.  By contrast, Bola Awofeso did not receive any congratulations for completing that race.  Instead, all he got was comments like "I can't believe that you can run that far."  The point is that if you wish to be praised, you should not be lowering people's expectations by saying things like "I'm injured so badly that I can't even walk ..."

This workout is an out-and-back route with the 'out' portion at half-marathon pace and the 'back' portion at 10 mile pace.  So what was the explanation of that 8:30 minute first mile?  "We wanted to be absolutely sure that we run a negative split!"

One major benefit with the rain (or the threat of rain) was that we did not find anyone jumping out of the bushes to scream at us tonight.  Or maybe the guy is vacationing in Spain, where the weather must be a lot nicer.  A good hint was that he did not compete in the Central Park Triathlon, in which his two other co-coaches who couldn't run finished in the top ten.

• STEEPLECHASER TESTS POSITIVE:  Moroccan Brahim Boulami had just taken the world record down by two seconds two weeks ago, thereby making the definitive statement that the Kenyans no longer own this event.  Now, his A blood-urine sample from that meet has tested positive for EPO.  If the B sample also tests positive, Boulami will suffer ignominy.  If the B sample does not test positive, his record will be tainted by suspicion.  Either way, he loses and the sport loses.  This is not good.
   

• WEATHER FORECAST:  Bad is the word, with heavy rains and temperature in the '60s on Thursday.  Generally, the Labor Day weekend will be wet.  The Thursday road workout will be a gut check --- it will not be cancelled, and so only the true orange will show up.  Are you one of them?
    

• MORE BRILLIANT ORANGE: "In the hot summer of 1975 Wim Van Hanegem was offered the chance to leave his beloved Feyenoord and join the French club Olympique Marseille for a large amount of money.  He couldn't decide what to do, so he went to an island in Zeeland to talk it over with his wife, Truus, his best friend (and fellow midfielder) Wim Jansen, and Jansen's wife.  The four of them took a picnic to the beach and mulled over the pros and cons for hours.  Finally, Van Hanegem called for a show of hands: two votes to go, two to stay.  So he turned to his dog: 'We can't decide.  It's up to you now.  If you want to go to Marseille, bark or show me.'  For several minutes the dog and Van Hanegem stared at each other.  The dog didn't move.  'OK,' said Wim, 'he doesn't want to go. We're staying.'"
   

• YET ANOTHER NATIONAL ANTHEM:  The words to the national anthem of China are:
   
  
   
  Ah, we forget, you are probably having problems read this?  Here is the English translation ( audio )
   
  The March of the Volunteer Army
  
  Arise,
  Ye who refuse to be slaves! 
  With our very flesh and blood, 
  Let us build our new Great Wall! 
  The peoples of China are in the most critical time, 
  Everybody must roar his defiance. 
  Arise!
  Arise! 
  Arise! 
  Millions of hearts with one mind, 
  Brave the enemy's gunfire, March on! 
  Brave the enemy's gunfire, March on! 
  March on!
  March on! 
  on!
   
  With due respect, this is pretty boring and unmemorable stuff, in terms of the words as well as the music.  Fortunately, the Chinese have several other unofficial anthems that are infinitely more exciting and stirring.  This situation is very much like the people's choices Land of Hope and Glory, Jerusalem or Rule Britannia for England, Waltzing Matilda for Australia and Va Pensiero for Italy.  In the USA, there are people who prefer the ballad-like America The Beautiful, the folksong-like American Anthem, the gospel-hymn like God Bless America or the up-tempo Stars and Stripes Forever.  The top three on our Chinese hit parade are listed as follows.  (Tip: Ignore those words!  Historical materialism will demand that the words be revised eventually)
  
  (1) THREE RULES OF DISCIPLINE AND EIGHT POINTS FOR ATTENTION (mov; sorry, we couldn't find any MP3's)

  Note: Sorry, but we don't have the exact words used in the song.  But the song is based upon Chairman Mao's Selected Military Writings: "On the Reissue of the Three Main Rules of Discipline and the Eight Points for Attention - Instruction of the General Headquarters of the Chinese People's Liberation Army" (October 10, 1947), which we list below.  These rules and points were later adopted by the Black Panthers in the USA.  We also regret that we were unable to locate the rock-music version of this song (and it rocks!), so you will have to imagine what wonders a wailing guitar could have worked on these totally unusable lyrics.

  The Three Main Rules of Discipline are as follows:
  (1) Obey orders in all your actions.
  (2) Do not take a single needle piece of thread from the masses.
  (3) Turn in everything captured.

  The Eight Points for Attention are as follows:
  (1) Speak politely.
  (2) Pay fairly for what you buy.
  (3) Return everything you borrow.
  (4) Pay for anything you damage.
  (5) Do not hit or swear at people.
  (6) Do not damage crops.
  (7) Do not take liberties with women.
  (8) Do not ill-treat captives.
   
  (2) THE EAST IS RED (mp3)

  Note: Like the Japanese national anthem, this one is solemn with a tinge of sadness.  And then you may well ask: What is the origin of this music vis-à-vis Giacomo Puccini?  Did this music exist before Puccini, who was then inspired to compose Madama Butterfly and Turandot?  Or could it be the other way around as these songs were composed because Puccini set the template?
   
  The east is red,
  The sun is rising.
  China has brought forth a Mao Zedong.
  He works for the people's happiness,
  hu erh hai ya,
  He is the people's great saving star.

  Chairman Mao loves the people,
  Chairman Mao, he is our guide.
  To build a new China,
  hu erh hai ya,
  He leads us forever forward.

  The Communist Party is like the sun,
  Bringing light wherever is shines.
  Where there's the Communist Party,
  hu erh hai ya,
  There the people will win liberation.
   
  (3)  SAILING THE SEAS DEPENDS ON THE HELMSMAN (mp3)

  Note: This is actually much better as an up-tempo brass band music piece.

  Sailing the seas depends on the helmsman,
  Life and growth depend on the sun.
  Rain and dew drops nourish the crops,
  Making revolution depends on Mao Zedong Thought.
  Fish can't leave the water,
  Nor melons leave the vine.

  The revolutionary masses can't do without the Communist Party.
  Mao Zedong Thought is the sun
  That forever shines.
   
  And now we will sit back and wait for the complaints to pour in about this gross misuse of the web space.  If at first people complained about the liberalism implied in our publishing of the Canadian national anthem, we can imagine what they have to say about the hard-core Marxism-Leninism-Stalinism-Maoism here.  Well, we're paying the bill and you're not ... so, there you have it!
   

• SHOPPING SPREES:  Recently, all sorts of people are going on rampages --- someone bought all the novels of China Mieville, someone else bought all 6 CDs by Jaci Velasquez and then somebody bought a vacuum cleaner.  Do you need anything?  Here, we are waiting for the big commission checks that will permit us to retire and concentrate on running ...
   

• MORE ON ANN COULTER:  From the St. Petersburg Times: To prove that liberals "babble on and on about the 'heady' days of civil rights marches," Coulter claims that between 1995 and 2001, the New York Times ran more than 100 articles on "Selma" alone. "I believe we may have revisited this triumph of theirs sufficiently by now," she quips.  Tapped, however, did its own LexisNexis search for Selma and came up with 776 hits -- "424 were death notices, 18 were wedding announcements, 25 were other sorts of paid notices, five were in photo captions, and 234 were either: a) contents listings; b) people with the name Selma; c) references to Selma, California; or d) references to Selma, Ala., that had nothing to do with civil rights."  Of the 70 remaining, Tapped said only 16 were centrally concerned with Selma's civil rights history.
    

• TOBY GET'S THE QUEEN'S ENDORSEMENT: From Diane ("Queen of the Harriers") Kenna: "You can't spell New York Road Running without Toby Tanser. Well okay, you actually can but that's beside the point. Toby has, in just a few years, made quite an impact on the local running scene.  His exceptional talent, commitment to the sport and individuality (have you seen some of those outfits?!) make him uniquely qualified to serve on the Board of Directors of the New York Road Runners club.

  In a sport which is quite often overlooked by local and international media, it is refreshing to meet someone with so much knowledge, enthusiasm and appreciation for running. Toby is a wealth of information regarding runner statistics and race results. His writing is informative, entertaining and inspiring. He has been able to immerse himself in the running community, befriending local teams, elite athletes and novices alike. His coaching is top-notch and he motivates runners of all abilities to strive toward the highest level of achievement. Toby's work with beginner runners through the NIKE Run NYC clinics and other volunteer clinics is a wonderful boost for our sport. He can take a beginner runner and turn them into a running addict overnight.

  From his international running experience, Toby has been a member in many running clubs throughout the world. This provides him a unique insight into what can make a successful running organization.  I think Toby would be a refreshing addition to the Board, able to come up with creative, practical solutions to some of the problems facing our club, while maintaining the love and enthusiasm for the sport that is inspirational to us all."
   

• TUESDAY TRACK WORKOUT REPORT:  Nice warm, dry evening, just ideal for a speed workout.  Sixty-two people were allegedly at the start of the workout.  The exact circumstances of the derivation of the attendance number were recorded in the following:
   
  Frank Handelman: "How many people were at the workout tonight?"
  Official score keeper: "You asking me?  Do you think I actually count the people?  Do you think I'm crazy!?  Oh, why don't we ask Paul Bendich, who is a mathematician and must therefore know how to count?"
  Paul Bendich:  "I regret to say that my union rules does not allow me to dabble in irrational numbers or countably infinite sets ..."
  Official score keeper: "Fair enough.  So, Frank, what's a good number?  How about sixty-two?  You like it?"
  Frank Handelman: "Yeah, that sounds good."  
  And so it was ...
    
  A promising sign about this workout is that both the C and D groups were led by new serious-looking fast women.  We are adding even more depth to the team!
   
  Missing from the count is Audrey Kingsley, who showed up at 7:59:27pm according to the official workout watch.  Although she argued that she was 'within the hour,' we have to abide by our workout headcount rules.  Of course, it will have no doubt come to your notice that showing up late does in fact get your name mentioned as compared to the anonymity of the mass humanity of on-time arrivers.
   
  Since our self-appointed official photographer was present today, we thought that we would document the current state of détente between the soccer players and the runners.

Identification tip: Members of the Board of Education are identifiable by their suntans ... James Siegel, Kevin Arlyck, Joe Tumbarello, Laura Lee Carter, ...
 
Special Request: (name withheld): "Will someone please burn Harry Lichenstein's bright red shorts?"
 
Old Friends:  At the Annapolis 10 Miler in Maryland, a stranger approached Jerome O'Shaughnessy and asked: "How is Tony Ruiz?  How is Sid Howard?  And how is the guy who does the website?"  That stranger was Maryland resident Dr. John Taylor, a long-time member of the Central Park Triathlon Club (note: that means the triathlete sub-division of the Central Park Track Club --- and what did you think www.centralparktc.org really stands for?).
 
Complaint Department: David Smith protests about the self-deprecating characterization by Stacy Creamer of her own allegedly non-existent triathlon career: "Stacy came second in Doug Stern's Highland Sprint Triathlon in 2000 (handily passing my wife Lauren Eckhart 500 yards from the finish), causing Lauren and I both to befriend Stuart and Stacy ('Who was that woman who passed me like I was standing still?!?!').  Maybe Stacy really is a covert triathlete with a cupboard full of hardware!!..."
 
Complaint Department:  Stéphane Bois: "You have printed the words to all sorts of national anthems?  What about the French national anthem?"  Well, we have to demur because we would surely lose our family-friendly, non-violent rating if we do so ("Qu'un sang impur abreuve nos sillons" !!!???).

Complaint Department:  Fred Trilli: "My wife says that you take terrible-looking pictures of me!  In all of them, I look like I am in great pain.  How is she supposed to take any one of them to the office?"

Complaint Department:  "Hey, coach Tony, I thought you always tell us not to race at the end of the workout.  What was that last mile that you just ran?  Is this one of those coaches' prerogatives:  'Do as I tell you but not as I do' deal'"

Complaint Department:  "It is dark at the end of the workout!"  What do you expect  us to do about it?

Complaint Department:  "Why are there no more pictures of Kim Mannen this week?  You have been doing that every week!"  Yeah?  Is that all?  And we thought you had a tough complaint call ...

Kim Mannen and her personal bodyguard
 
Complaint Department: "The website published Two Boots as being located at 5th Street and Avenue A.  Well, 3rd Street is more like it!"

Expectations Department: Andrea Costella: "I expect that when I go to the website tomorrow morning, I will see a picture of me eating pizza."

Post-workout Social P/L Statement:  Prior to the workout, we posted an important message about previous problems with people not leaving sufficient funds to cover the bill.  Well, that message worked far too well, as we ran a massive budget surplus today.  We should be put in charge of the US Treasury!  A few more outings like this, Sid Howard will be ready to retire from work and concentrate on running.

Photo Album:  Yes, we have one!

• BRAZILIAN SOCCER P/L STATEMENT:  Covering major sports events is a major risk for television broadcasters.  The television rights have to be bid years in advance, without knowing the participants.  Imagine if you bid for a World Cup game and your country's team got knocked out in the first round.  Or, in the case of the Olympics, it would be prudent to take out a lot of insurance against boycotts and terrorism.  This year, Brazil won the World Cup while gathering astronomical television audience ratings for TV Globo.  You would think this is the perfect script, but the final book from TV Globo says they had a net loss of $100 million US dollars.  In this case, TV Globo may have no choice because they are the leading television network in Brazil and cannot afford to let another network take the lead on this prestigious event.  But it does demonstrate the high risks involved in such enterprises.
   
  The point is this --- if someone tells you that it will be a GOOD thing to have the 2012 Olympics in New York City, do not blindly accept that!  Show us!  We are from Missouri!  Meanwhile, the latest news is that San Francisco and New York City are the two finalists chosen by the USOC to bid for the 2012 Olympics.
    

• CLICK CLICK:  Online spyware company DoubleClick Inc. has settled with the attorney generals of 10 states about business practices:  Who the hell is DoubleClick?  "The New York City-based company, which sells its services to advertisers and major Internet sites, deposited unique 'cookie' files on a user's computer that tracked the machine's online travels, allowing the company to display Web ads tailored to a person's shopping and surfing preferences."  
   
  But we here have no idea how DoubleClick profiles us nor do we care, because we use a free utility called PopUpStopper that kills all pop-up and pop-under ads sight unseen.  DoubleClick can serve us any number of targeted ads, but we never see any.  The utility actually has an option for a sound to be emitted every time that a kill is made so you can gloat.  Supposedly, there are already 4.5 million copies of the utility around.  The popup stopper function will be present in the next generation of browsers, since those ads have become a major annoyance factor.
   
  And then we also run another free utilty Ad-Aware to erase Adware, AdBreak, AdReady, Alexa, Aureate, Bulla.com, Comet Cursor, Cydoor, Doubleclick, DSSAgent, EverAd, eZula, Expedioware, Flyswat, HomePageWare, SEBar, OfferCompanion, Hotbar, OnFlow, TimeSink, Web3000, Webhancer, Transponder, Wnad, ZapSpot, SurfPlus, AdvertBar, NetPal, CashBar, WurldMediaBHO, MessageMates, EWA, Ezsearchbar, CommonName, GoHip, DownloadWare, NetworkEssentials, ImiServerIEPlugin, TopMoxie, Lop.Com, BDE Projector, UCmore, OpenMe, JaypeeSysBHo, FlashTrack, NetRadar, NetZany, NetSource, NowBox,TrustToolBar, WinAd, Kontiki, 7faSSt Search, iWonCopilot and other spyware/parasite/scumware/thiefware.

WEEK OF AUGUST 20-AUGUST 26, 2002

• TIP ON PAYING THE BILL:  At a social like the one planned for tomorrow night (see next item), we may well have thirty to forty people, with the total bill running into several hundred dollars.  Out of the chaos, everyone leaves what he/she thinks is his/her share and the master-of-ceremony adds up the contributions and hopes that this is more than what the bill says.  Now most of us (if not all of us) are financial wizards, but occasionally --- God help us! --- we come up short.  In that event, it seems patently cruel and unfair to make our senior citizen Sid Howard go and wash dishes to make up for the shortfall.  So we urge everyone to make sure that they leave enough money before they leave.
   
  Why Sid Howard?  Because we think that he talks so much that they will let him go in less than five minutes.  As for us, we take ourselves out of the running because we are so good at boring, repetitious chores (such as running this website) that we are sure to be offered a permanent position ...
   

• TUESDAY TRACK POST-WORKOUT SOCIAL:  Social Director James Siegel: "Following this Tuesday's (8-27) track workout, a contingent of presumably thirsty and hungry runners will be heading to Two Boots on East 5th Street/Avenue A for pizza/pasta and drinks. All should attend to toast each other's company and the end of a hot summer. See you there!"  Please note that there are two Two Boots (=Four Boots?) at the intersection, and we want the one to the southwest of the intersection (and not the northeast).
   
  Their canned product description is: "Combining dishes from Louisiana and Italy (hence "Two Boots"), this child-friendly, eccentric jukejoint also sports some of the best big, thin-crust pizzas in town, with by-the-slice outposts popping up all over the place (across the street on Avenue A and 4th, on Bleecker Street just east of Broadway, and on the corner of 7th Avenue South and Greenwich). There's a fun mix of music, white-checkered tablecloths, beer served in boot mugs, wine in juice glasses, and a bar laminated with old photos and curios. The spicy garlic Cajun bread, Creole popcorn shrimp, po'boys and pecan-crusted catfish with cilantro aioli are sure standbys. Lunch is especially a good deal, with $5.95 entrees that include a soup or salad."  And we expect to re-write the description if they are not careful ...

• THE HEARTBREAK CONTINUES (AFTER AN INTERRUPTION):  Going through the recorded history on this website, we found these results for the Central Park Triathlon that takes place each year in August:
   
  Year Zero (1997): Stacy Creamer, 2nd place, time unknown
  Year One (1998): Stacy Creamer, 2nd place, 1:19:04
  Year Two (1999): Stacy Creamer, 2nd place, 1:20:45
  Year Three (2000): Stacy Creamer, 2nd place, 1:19:09
  Year Four (2001):  Stacy Creamer, 1st place, 1:17:55
  Year Five (2002): Stacy Creamer, 2nd place, 1:22:13
   
  Of course, just because it was not recorded does not mean that it did not happen.  In 1997, Ross Galitsky sent us this note:

"To punish you 'runner types', I will break up a fairy tale which has been erected in front of everyone's eyes.  I'm referring to one of my favorite people in the Club, heretofore considered to be a pure 'runner type'.
 
Last Thursday night, I was cleaning out my closet and I found a copy of Triathlon Today magazine from November, 1989! NO, I don't compile old issues of running magazines like all you "runner types" and display them in museum-grade storage enclosures.  Only you running geeks do that!  I had saved this issue because it contained articles about several races close to my heart (Scott Willett did quite well in them, BTW).
 
Alas, on Page 13A, there was an article titled 'NY Triathlon Series Central Park'.  There was a nice half-page write-up of the event and, smack in the middle of it, I saw:
 
'Overall Women: Stacy Creamer - 4th Place Overall, 1:24:00; Women 25-29: Stacy Creamer - 1st Place'.
 
That was 8 years ago! Let's face the reality --- multi-sport is what makes Stacy popular, attractive, successful, and an absolute pleasure to watch when she's dancing (as opposite to the contortions that the 'runner types' assume will be misconstrued as dancing).  So here, one of you is really one of us!!! It is just that she has been spinning wool over everybody's eyes hitherto!!!"

Stacy ("I am not a cyclist, I am not a swimmer") Creamer replied:

"So my cover is blown! To tell you the truth, I had no idea that my shadowy triathlon past dates as far back as 8 years -- maybe longer! But rest assured that the only triathlon in which I have ever competed is the Central Park Triathlon held in the park each August. This to me is the ideal triathlon: next to no commuting time, a short swim that you could also walk (Lasker pool isn't deep), a reasonable bike ride (12 miles), and a disproportionately long run (5 miles). That this triathlon seems to go head to head with far more popular and challenging triathlons in the region, thus depleting the caliber of the field, is also a big plus.  Five-year age groups also help bring the hardware home.

So, I am guilty as charged, but remember this:- on most years, when it comes to triathlon day, the last time I was in a pool was for the said triathlon the year before.  In other words: I am not a swimmer!  But if food consumption is a key component of triathlon training, I am very guilty as charged and would be pleased to dine with you at a restaurant of your choosing."

• LET'S BLOW UP THE NEW YORK TIMES!:  Let us state at the outset that we have no intention of doing so, because what would we read every day after that?  Concerning Ann Coulter's remark: "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building," there was a letter in The Wall Street Journal:

  Why would anybody even pretend to believe that Ms. Coulter wishes any real harm to the New York Times or wishes to convert all Muslims forcibly to Christianity (a post-9/11 flight of fancy that got her fired from National Review)? The answer, one suspects, is that she and her foes insist on different visions of America.  Her foes see a fragile society full of rifts and flaws, oppressions and simmering resentments that can turn into open strife any moment. Ergo, free speech, however offensive, belongs morally on their side as an instrument of social palliation. Miss Coulter, as she has often demonstrated, inhabits a sturdier America with a self-confident unapologetic culture centered somewhere in the heartland. In her America, political and personal, even ethnic quips get thrown about with abandon in fierce raillery, everybody laughs about it afterwards and the country is none the worse for wear.  Miss Coulter, bless her heart, would take no offense at the analogy from Dr. Johnson. Her detractors would insist that she should.  

  Oh, really, so the defense is that this is all one jestful joke, huh?  Well, try saying "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the White House," and you will have the Secret Service all over you for making terroristic threats against the President.  Or, better yet for test purposes, just try telling some jokes to the airport security screeners next time ...   
   
  On one hand, there is the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."  On the other hand, does that entitle you to conduct speech that may endanger public safety (shouting "Fire!" in a crowded theater)?

  P.S.  On the basis of our opening remark, you may be inclined to believe that we are unquestioning fans of the New York Times.  Far from it!  In fact, we are highly skeptical of the self-appointed newspaper of record (case study: Venezuela in April 2002).  But then The Wall Street Journal ranks much lower in our eyes (case study: The El Mozote Massacre in El Salvador, where more twenty years later, the WSJ still wants to deny the event ever took place.  We can only remind them of the Beatles at the Star Club, Hamburg, Germany, 1962 --- at some point, John Lennon yelled at some guy in the audience who was heckling him all night: "Mister, you may have lost the War, but you can still have a good time!").
   

• PUBLIC SPACE POLICY:  This note serves to clarify what appears on this website.  According to the name, this is the website for the Central Park Track Club.  Over time, by default, this has become more like the website for the entire New York City running community.  Most of the contents of this website are prepared by the editorial staff, but we will accept outside contributions when it serves the public interest.  For example, we will publicize events, services and products, for the reason that they may be of interest to our constituency.
   
  At this moment in time, this issue is relevant for the the elections to the New York Road Runners board of directors.  All the nominees have their biographies published on the proxy statement.  Here at this website, we welcome the nominees (or their advocates, for that matter) to elaborate on their positions and qualifications.  These statements will be published on this particular page.  We consider this to be a matter of public interest, in that it will help people to make informed decisions.  Between now and the day of the annual NYRRC Inc meeting, we expect this page to be read by over 4,000 people.  As far as we can tell, this is the page with the highest reach for the target population.  You can send in your comments to the Central Park Track Club website.
     

• JAILBIRDS:  According to this CNN story: "The adult U.S. correctional population reached a record high at the end of 2001, with 3.1 percent of the nation's adult population incarcerated or under community supervision, federal statistics show.  Almost 6.6 million men and women made up the correctional population at the end of 2001, an increase of 147,000 from the end of 2000, according to a report titled 'Probation and Parole in the United States, 2001.' The Justice Department's Bureau of Justice Statistics compiled the report.  One in every 32 adult residents were on probation or parole or were held in a prison or jail, the report said."
   
  To put this number of 6.6 million in perspective, the 2000 Census figure for New York County (Manhattan) was only 1,537,195.   Even if we also locked up everyone in Queens (2,229,379) and Brooklyn (2,465,326), we would still be short of 6.6 million. 
   

• CROSS COUNTRY SCHEDULE:  Now accessible from our home page is the fall schedule for NYC- and non-NYC-cross country races.  The key race in the schedule is the Fred Lebow XC 5K on September 22.  This race counts in the NYRR Club Team Championships, so we hope that we will have a good turnout of sprinters and middle-distance runners for the one race of the year in which we all come together.
   

• THE KNAPSACKERS: An article by Gina Bellafante in the New York Sunday Times goes: "Though no empirical evidence exists to support this theory, the knapsack user who is well past college age often conforms to the following profile: he is intellectually agile, sheepish, self-reflecting, generally well intentioned and enormously complex.  Although the knapsack implies a certain boyish free-spiritiedness, the wearer is infrequently a free spirit.  He may be riddled with ambivalence about everything from whether to buy an apartment in Dumbo to how many slices of turkey to have in his sandwich for lunch.  At his worst, he is emotionally inert and commitment-averse."
   
  Below are four randomly found Central Park Track Club knapsackers.  That so-called theory is rapidly dissembling ...

• THE CLUB TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS IN PERSPECTIVE:  How important is this race?  We quote from the national high school track & field website DyeStat on the Arizona Scottsdale City Meet: "In the words of Desert Mountain coach John Prather, this meet doesn't mean much, except for local supremacy."  In the case of the 2002 Club Team Championships, local supremacy went to the Westchester Track Club.  As for us, we knew we always had the softball game to fall back on.  And if we lose the softball game, we always know that our website is locally and globally supreme!!!
   

• THE RUNNER OR THE SHOE:  This article, "Greene Gets Spiky With Nike", reports: "As the world and Olympic champion, Greene said he expected to be treated with more respect by Nike when his contract came up for renewal in December. The company, whose swoosh logo is among the most recognisable on the planet, offered him less than half of the $1m (£650,000) he asked for and also refused to name a line of shoes in his honour.  But what made it particularly upsetting for Greene, his agent Emmanuel Hudson claimed, was that Nike had agreed to name a shoe after Bob Kennedy, the world's 41st-ranked 5,000m runner in 2001. His main claim to fame is that he was the first white man to break 13 minutes for 5,000m.  Greene signed with Nike's main rivals Adidas in May and they plan to launch soon a "Mo Greene" line of signature clothing and footwear."
   
  The article continues, "Several industry analysts are not convinced, however, that backing such big names translates into long-term sales or boosted stock prices. They believe Nike's new product lines themselves, not famous athletes' exploits, attract more consumers."
   
  So, when you buy a pair of shoes, which do you consider?  The celebrity endorser, or the shoe?  And, regardless of your answer, would you pay a $10 surcharge that goes to the celebrity endorser?
   

• CANADIAN LIBERALISM?  Kevan Huston: "So, wassup with that liberalism bit huh? Good lord! First, that's not even the official anthem (see, infra.). And second there's nothing "liberal" (by any definition) about the _Maple Leaf Forever_ -- it's positively imperial, which I suppose is the point.

  Sigh. As for the term "liberal", as employed in the current political context: it is a sad fact that *collectivists* (of which Mr Baldwin certainly ranks among the first tier) and their benefactors in the media have managed to co-opt a perfectly wonderful term for their own nefarious purposes (equally odious are so-called conservatives -- your friend Anne Coulter leaps to mind -- who also insist in calling illiberal sorts liberal). There was a time, you know, before Amtrak and airline bailouts; wars on cancer, drugs, poverty and terrorism; farm, steel, softwood, and textile subsidies; social security, new deals and new democrats, and all around general nannyism, that liberal really meant being, well, liberal.

  None of which has now or ever had anything to do with Canada or its anthems!

  ====

  Canada's Official National Anthem, adopted 1 July 1980 (Real Media ram file)

  O Canada!  Our home and native land!
  True patriot love in all thy sons command.
  With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
  The True North strong and free!

  From far and wide, O Canada, 
  We stand on guard for thee
  God keep our land glorious and free!
  O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
  O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
   

• EXCESSIVENESS IS OUR VIRTUE:  Michael Rosenthal asked: "I know that there are already a great many pictures from the Club Team Championships.  But I also took some pictures of the women's race after my race ended.  Would it be too much to post my pictures too?"  Well, we already have more than 7,700 photos posted, so what is a few more?  Excessiveness is our virtue and overkill is our weapon.  Besides, when Yahoo! Web Services boots us off for taking up too much disk storage, Michael's company (Walrus) will give us free space, right?
   

• ANOTHER OUT-OF-TOWN STORY:  Roger Liberman: "At Ellen's Run in Easthampton, I placed my car key in a shoe pocket for the race.  Unfortunately, it fell out unnoticed by me.  I looked and could not find it.  I had to find a ride to go back to the house to fetch the extra key.  When I got back to the race area, the drinks were done, the food was gone and the party was over.  There were only two cars left in the whole parking lot, and one of them was mine.  I learned that someone found my key and that they made continuous announcements.  When no one came forth, they announced that they would leave the car key in the door lock.  That was exactly how I found it.  In another place and another time, the car might have been taken within seconds.  But this is how it is out there ..."
   

• NAOMI WINS SIX IN A ROW:  Our sixteen-year-old prodigy Naomi Reynolds won the latest Van Cortlandt Summer Series on Thursday, making that six in a row in the series.  Unfortunately, she did not run the first race of the series, so she does not sweep.
   

• NYC RUN TO LIBERTY 10K:  From G'mo Rojas: "The New York Road Runners created this August 31st race to bring people back to lower Manhattan.  It is an event with many elements.  The 10K race starts and finishes in Battery Park, the race takes you through lower Manhattan and then up & down West Street back to Battery Park.  We will have kid's races, prize money and every registered runner will receive a free harbor cruise on Circle Line and a free lunch!  This is the best part --- at Friday's packet pickup, Alberto Salazar will be signing autographs."
    
  For the more materialistically minded, this race carries prize money for men and women:
   

  1st Place open	$400
  2nd Place open	$200
  3rd Place open	$150
  1st Masters (40+)	$125
  2nd Masters (40+)	$75
  3rd Masters (40+)	$50
  1st Veteran (50+)	$75
  2nd Veteran (50+)	$50
  3rd Veteran (50+)	$25

  Plus $100 for sub-31:00 time for men, or sub-35:00 for women.  NYRR membership is not required to claim these prizes.  
   

• DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS, PART 3:  Here is a quick quiz (note: we're asked this before but we'll ask you again) --- Of the married couple of Rostov ("Ross") Galitsky and Aubin Sullivan, who is the one that married someone born in Odessa?
   
  
  Ross Galitsky and Aubin Sullivan celebrating their marriage 
  at Sky Top after the Survival of the Shawangunks
   
  Answer:  Know thy Texan geography in the middle of the land ...
   

• CLUB TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS WRAP-UP:  In Toby Tanser's wrap-up story on the NYRR website, the last paragraph is: "The spirit of this day is unrivaled in the NYRR club scene. It is a day when the majority of the teams forget the borders and the wrangles of the preceding months and come together to truly celebrate being a part of the city's great community of runners. A few hours after the last runners had crossed the line, and all the team bagels had been eaten or left to the birds, a number of local teams met at an outdoor restaurant by the Hudson River. A stranger leaning up at the bar asked, 'So what team is this?' After trying to point out various individuals, these runners told the stranger, 'This is the New York Road Runners; we're just one big family.'"
   

• DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS, PART 2:  In the New York Observer interview, Ann Coulter said :"I love Texas Republicans!  They're these beautiful women, they're so great-looking, they're completely loaded. They're dripping in this gorgeous jewelry, they're really funny and sarcastic and smart. Americans are so cool, and they're such parochial idiots here in New York. I mean, they really do seem to think in the Northeast that the South . is like an English-speaking Saudi Arabia and it must be coached in tolerance."
   

• TOBY GETS OUT OF TOWN HELP:  From John Prather: "I don't know that much about New York running.  I come from a land far far away, commonly known as Arizona (you know, "It's a dry heat").  Nevertheless, I have been called 'an out-of-towner who is in touch,' which is much better than "an out-of-toucher who is in town," I guess.  So with such a ringing endorsement, I take great pleasure in offering my own endorsement of Toby Tanser for NYRRC Board of Directors

    
  I had a blast being a runner in New York this summer, with its strong club system, its vibrant racing schedule, and its myriad special events.  The city offers so much for so many runners, as must NYRRC.  It seems to me that Toby is a rare individual with his finger on the pulses of both the elite and the back-of-the-pack runner.  Both are vital to the sport, to its survival and to providing it with its beauty.  I used and then deleted the word "egalitarianism," because clearly the fast and slow aren't equal in winning awards.  But they are indeed equal in making the sport as charming and wonderful as it is, one which brings together people of all ages, nationalities, occupations, interests, and talents.  Our sport must never lose that.  And anyone who knows Toby -- even if only from his website -- knows that he is uniquely capable of transcending all distinctions and doing what's best for the most people.
    
  For me, Toby's greatest quality may be the sense ethics he brings to the sport.  As an athlete, coach, agent, event manager, journalist, announcer, official, and fan in the sport for 30 years, I love our sport in the most idealistic sense.  I abhor cheating, I love seeing kids and their voyage of self-discovery, I am inspired by older runners whose competitive fires never waned, I am awed by people running as fast as I once could but never will again, and I am humbled by those determined to do something very hard very well.  All are equally vital parts of the New York running landscape.  Like me, Toby respects each and every runner for who they are, and for who they might become.
    
  In his own way, Toby has become New York running for many people, for those who keep abreast of the stories on his website, and for those who took their first running steps as a result of his tutelage.
    
  I don't believe I can say it any more eloquently than Roland did on the CPTC website, so if you haven't read his endorsement, I strongly urge you to do so.  Meanwhile, I'll conclude with this thought:  I've been in the sport since dinosaurs ran the stopwatches, and Toby epitomizes all that is good with running.  His experience and his idealism are most needed."
   

• TOBY 2002 CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF:  All NYRRC members have received or will receive a proxy statement in the mail about the upcoming NYRRC board of directors elections.  At this point, we endorse the nominee Toby Tanser and we urge all our readers (who are members of NYRRC) to vote for him.  Voting is easy --- just check the names of the your chosen nominees, sign your name, enter the date and mail the proxy form back in the postage-paid envelope. 
   
  This endorsement is a personal one (by the Central Park Track Club website editorial staff of one), and does not reflect any official positions of the Central Park Track Club.  This is the first time that we have actually made an endorsement.  In the past, we have provided space for candidates as a matter of public interest, but this will be the first time that we actually advocated someone.  Given our very exacting standards (just read our restaurant reviews to see how hard we are to please!), this was not a specious decision.  We will offer you our specific reasons. We point out that this does not imply that we disapprove of any of the other nominees.  Rather, Toby Tanser is the one nominee for whom we had sufficient information to make this endorsement.
  
  In the proxy statement, the nominees' biographies describe their qualifications.  Toby Tanser has his own statement on his website.  We have also made some clarifications on the Toby Tanser legend.  So we will not reiterate the factual details here.
    
  First, we esteem the New York Road Runners greatly as an organization.  This is a group of people who 'get it' --- namely, the successful integration of media communication, marketing, promotion, merchandising, volunteerism, community involvement and organization is the path to growth and excellence.  This sounds simple and obvious, but a lot of people don't get it.  You have to have lived elsewhere to appreciate how fortunate the New York City running community really is.  
   
  Reflecting the importance of integrating multiple approaches and activities, the NYRRC Board of Directors has a diverse representation of people who are drawn from advertising, marketing, running publications, sports medicine and so on.  Clearly, people will contribute most effectively in their areas of expertise.  Any organization will face the problem of evolving in the direction preferred by its leaders, rather than always following the objectively optimal paths.  The New York Road Runners serve multiple constituencies --- elite athletes (as in the New York City Marathon and the Mini Marathon), local professional or semi-professional runners, competitive club runners, middle-of-the-pack runners, beginning runners, youth runners, etc.  The constituency that this particular website represents is that of the competitive running clubs.  We are first and foremost for the Central Park Track Club but we are more (after all, we average 1,000+ users per day when we have only 200 paid members) as we are the de facto website for people on other clubs.  We would argue cogently that this constituency forms the core of the whole running community --- we are hard-core frequent racers, heavy-spending consumers, running folklorists, opinion leaders, unpaid running evangelists and all that.
   
  The NYRRC has more than 30,000 members.  Sociologists say that any social organization of more than 150 people will break apart because it is no longer possible to form intimate relationships with so many people.  Nobody will claim that they personally know all 30,000+ members.  Rather, runners bond closely together in smaller groups in the form of the running clubs, which are formed for reasons such as location, schedule, competitiveness, sponsorship, coaching, socialization, nationality, and so on.  The danger here is in the Balkanization of the whole running community into various compartmentalized cliques, and there can only be tensions when they interact solely in competitive situations.  In this regard, we believe that Toby Tanser has already done a great job in breaking down these barriers.
   
  Toby Tanser is currently competing as a member of the Central Park Track Club.  This fact had zero impact on our endorsement decision.  In fact, if he was the type (but he is not) that said "My blood is orange-colored," we would consider that to be a BIG MINUS.  What impressed us was the fact that he is also involved with the Urban Athletics team, The Reservoir Dogs, the Project A.L.S. Marathon Team, the Nike RunNYC summer/fall sessions and even the NYC Police Academy cadets, thus showing the ability to transcend sectarian interests.  His website Tanser.org is the single most informative source about the local running scene, where people can find out about news also about the New York Harriers, Warren Street, Moving Comfort, Westside Runners, Westchester Track Club, etc.  Toby's first star endorser is NYRR Runner of the Year Paul Mwangi, who is a member of West Side Runners and also a frequent visitor of his website.  For those of you who are frequent visitors of Toby's website, we ask you to step back one moment and think how much less you would know without its presence.  We therefore see Toby Tanser will be a major contributor to the development of greater cohesiveness in the community.  Along this theme, please read his 2002 Club Team Championships wrap-up story on the NYRR website.  We do not see any other nominee with this type of qualification and/or track record.
   
  Second, over the past ten years or so, we have observed the increasing globalization of our runners.  Whereas twenty-years ago, we seemed to be a homogeneous group of mostly young educated professionals, we are now from many nations with many backgrounds.  Globalization is not unidirectional; it is about interchanging of ideas and experiences.  Toby Tanser is a tremendous store of information about the global running scene, best known for his book on the Kenyan runners, his extensive network of personal contacts among elite runners and coaches all over the world and his encyclopedic knowledge of running facts.  His website Tanser.org is also frequently visited by his friends across the globe.  We do not see any other nominee with this type of qualification. 
   
  Third, Toby Tanser is a professional elite athlete who has competed at the top level.  As the old saying goes, he is our 'teammate who rides in the other bus' to the starting line.  The elite athletes are the people who get media attention and are therefore important for the visibility of the sport, but they also have unique needs and conditions.  We believe that having a professional elite athlete on the NYRR Board of Directors should be a requirement.  We do not see any other nominee with this type of credentials.
   
  Fourth, Toby Tanser is also a personal running coach to individual runners.  It is physically demanding to have several clients per day, but it is also mentally demanding as this is a client-focused job that has to be tailored to the psychological make-up of the individuals.  Although elite athletes get media attention, the race events still derive their revenues from mass participation, which will in turn attract major advertising and sponsorship.  We believe that it is important to have someone who has a track record of being in tune with the middle- and back-of-the-pack runners.
   
  Obviously, we wrote all of this because we believe and we want to tell you what we believe.  Now it is up to you.  Voting is easy --- check the names the nominees of your choice, sign your name, enter the date and mail it back.
   

• THURSDAY ROAD WORKOUT REPORT:  Nice (relatively) cool weather continued today, even with a couple of raindrops at the end of the workout.  Fifty-four people were present at the start of the workout.  Counted in the workout but not running was James Siegel: "I just finished my softball game.  I did not make any errors today, but we lost our game."
   
  The following Q&A session took place in the middle of the workout:
  Q: "Where do we start the first 1000m pickup?"
  A: "At 110th Street.  This is just past the swimming pool and right at the entrance when the cars come in from Seventh Avenue (=Martin Luther King Boulevard)."
  Q: "Where do we stop the pickup?"
  A: "At West 102nd Street, where you will see a woman holding a baby and cheering everyone on.  Please make sure to say 'Hello, Stacy' when you go past her."
   
  Afterwards, Stacy Creamer said, "Who are these people?  How come I don't know most of them?"  Meanwhile back at the Daniel Webster statue, Odin Townley showed up and asked for Stacy.  We told him, "Well, you can find her at the Central Park Triathlon this weekend" and he nodded at the obviousness of the statement.
   
  Olivier Baillet continues on his weekend double: "I was not surprised to find the two race results, because they were posted on the race result websites.  I was really shocked at how the CPTC website knew that I had done a long run just prior to the Club Team Championships!  The Matrix does know everything after all."  Notwithstanding his sub-optimal race results, Olivier still had the best quality photo of everyone.  He thought he knew why: "Because I was running so slooooooow ..."
   
  Safety story #1:  At W87th Street, some guy jumped out from the bushes and started to scream.  It was lucky that he did not get flattened by Bola Awofeso.  We did not have time to ask that guy about the whereabouts of our 2:15 800m runner.
   
  Safety story #2:  On a more serious note, one of our runners reported being harassed by the identical group of teenagers on Sunday and again on Monday.  A call to the Mayor's Office drew total disinterest.  And tonight, our last group observed a group of eight or nine teenagers walking down the recreational lane, chanting "NYPD sucks" and jostling runners.  Although we strongly disapprove of adultery, this makes us almost wistful for the quality-of-life approach of the previous mayor.  But the message is this --- if you have felt safe running here for the last ten years or so, things may be different now.  This may be (but should not be) the price that you have to pay to fight the war against terrorism (after all, they seem to pay no attention to public safety in the park, but they do spend a lot of time talking about getting your handyman, your cable guy, your mailperson, your milk delivery man, etc to spy on you).  So we urge all runners to stay alert when you are out there.
    
  How about some more Ann Coulter for post-workout relaxation?  In an interview by George Gurley published in New York Observer, we read:
   
         "Is your tape recorder running? Turn it on! I got something to say."
         Then she said: "My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."
         I told her to be careful.
          "You're right, after 9/11 I shouldn't say that," she said, spotting a cab and grabbing it.
   
  And about those egregious errors in her book (note: you can go back to our July journals to locate them), 
   
        There are 780 footnotes in the back of Slander, and so far, Ms. Coulter said, only two minor, irrelevant errors have surfaced. 
        "Do you realize what this means?" she said she told her agent. "This means the rest of this book is true! This is scandalous!"
   
  And from DailyHowler.com, we read: 

In the August 11 Los Angeles Times, Andrew Malcolm became the latest reviewer to praise Ann Coulter's ton-of-footnotes. Earlier, the same nonsense went on in the New York Times (see THE DAILY HOWLER, 7/22/02), but that paper's Janet Maslin wasn't the first to tout Coulter's voluminous notes. In the Oregonian, David Reinhard said that "[Coulter's] arguments-her charges and countercharges-come peppered with footnoted quotations and documentation." ("No commentator today argues with more honesty," he said.) Later, the National Review's Michael Potemra was impressed with Coulter's "massive amounts of footnoted evidence." Avoiding charges of being a "girly boy," Potemra praised Slander for its "painstaking marshaling of evidence."

What is so silly about these presentations? Duh. Footnotes don't prove that claims are accurate until the footnotes are actually checked! And, starting on page one of her book, Coulter's citations frequently show that her claims have been simply made up.  Indeed, by the time Malcolm penned his recent review, it was perfectly clear that Coulter's book was packed with factual howlers. Her publisher had already agreed to revise the last page of her book, due to the groaning factual "error" on which her closing argument is based.

• TUESDAY TRACK POST-WORKOUT SOCIAL:  Social Director James Siegel: "Following next Tuesday's (8-27) track workout, a contingent of presumably thirsty and hungry runners will be heading to Two Boots on East 5th Street for pizza/pasta and drinks. All should attend to toast each other's company and the end of a hot summer. See you there!
    

• VOTE FOR TOBY:  From Alan Ruben, the president of the Central Park Track Club: "Members of the New York Road Runners (NYRR) will be receiving in the mail an opportunity to vote for up to 5 directors of the NYRR in the next couple of days. Our men's team leader in Saturday's Club Championship 5 mile race, Toby Tanser, is standing for election. On behalf of the Central Park Track Club, I would like to urge our members to vote for Toby because, apart from being a nice guy, he is a competitive runner who would be a strong advocate for club runners in New York City like ourselves."
     

• POLAR HEART RATE MONITOR SERVICE:  G'mo Rojas: "Polar will be at NYRR on Saturday from 11:30am-4:30pm to assist people with their Polar Heart Rate Monitors.  They will be changing batteries!  This service is great, because it only takes a few minutes and beats sending them your HRM by mail."
    

• LOST & FOUND SECTION: From Stacy Creamer: "On Tuesday night down at the East River Track, after the workout we found a singlet at the track. We figured that it belonged to someone on the team so we took it home with us.  It's a very white (presumably new) Sugoi singlet -- a men's medium.  Please e-mail me if this is yours."
   

• IMPERMEABLE PROTECTIVE CLOTHING:  While we are on the subject of clothing, we quote from the synopsis of the paper 'Micro-environment changes inside impermeable protective clothing during a continuous work exposure' by I. H. Muir; P. A. Bishop and J. Kozusko: "Protective clothing (PC) results in a micro-environment between itself and the body. Workers are then exposed to a heat stress greater than the ambient environment alone, which is a reflection of micro-environment, metabolic rate and time. Adjustments to the ambient environment to account for the micro-environment have been formulated as a means to predict heat strain for safety and productivity purposes. Measurement of the actual micro-environment was made for a mean of 63.1±7.9 min using a remote sensor at the shoulder, hip and thigh levels on 15 subjects during a continuous work protocol (300 kcal/h) in impermeable PC at an ambient temperature of 30.1°C wet bulb globe temperature (WBGT) (32°C dry, 29°C wet, 33°C globe). Micro-environment temperature increased over the duration of the work period. There was no statistically significant difference ( p >0.05) between the measurements made at the three different body sites for temperature or humidity. The mean micro-environmental WBGT at the end of work was 34.6°C WBGT. Micro-environment WBGT increased rapidly in the first 20 min of work then slowed, rising only 0.5°C WBGT from 40 to 60 min. These results suggest that at this particular high ambient temperature (30.1°C WBGT) an adjustment factor of 5°C WBGT would give a more accurate indication of thermal stress for up to 1 h of continuous moderate work within PC. For shorter work durations, an even smaller adjustment would be appropriate."
   

• SUBWAY OLYMPICS IN THE BIG APPLE:  At last Sunday's New York Triathlon, there were signs of 'New York 2012' all over the place.  This was a reference to the fact that this particular triathlon was being held to demonstrate the capability of New York City to host a major triathlon as part of the Olympic Games.  What we consider to be quite unfortunate about this whole campaign is that we have yet to read a cogent presentation of the pros and cons of holding such a major event here, and we are avid readers of anything and everything.  It seemed to be taken for granted that all New Yorkers must support the campaign unconditionally.  With due respect, we will not be steamrolled and we will withhold our support until we are presented with a convincing case.  
   
  This linked article is the most detailed presentation that we have encountered so far, and it had to appear in the Baltimore Sun of all places.  We urge you to read about the proposed venues and their implied impact.  We were certainly surprised to read "The triathlon would take place entirely within Central Park, including a 1.5 kilometer swim in a cleaned-up city reservoir" so that last Sunday's race in which the swim was in the Hudson River was a 'con game' for all purposes.
   

• AOL FINALLY GETS IT:  In Thursday's New York Times, "Five years ago, AOL virtually ceased spending money to create its own content in favor of selling and leasing the space on its service to others who wooed its members. But now AOL's once-booming advertising business has plummeted, leaving the company hunting for new sources of revenue.  At the same time, AOL is racing to update its service to attract and retain consumers who get access to the Internet through high-speed broadband connections like digital cable lines."  So the new AOL approach is "reviving a strategy the company abandoned five years ago, emphasizing the creation of original, exclusive content."
   
  From our personal experience, the goal of this website had been original, interesting content from day one.  No fancy programming, no flashy animation, no customer relationship management.   We simply produced what we thought we would enjoy to read, and we hope that others will enjoy it too.  Oh, by the way, our content is non-exclusive and anyone is welcome to use it (but we would appreciate a nod in our direction).  Will AOL get this second part?
    

• TUESDAY TRACK WORKOUT REPORT: Finally, the hot weather spell broke.  The temperature fell into the low 80's and the air was dry.  Sixty-four people were present at the start of the workout.  That is a massive number of people.  Before the workout, the coach thought that he would have more than enough timers as several people indicated that they were still fatigued after the weekend races.  As it turned out, these people ran instead.  Still, we manage to get our usual four (plus one) timers.  Plus one?  That would be Kieran McShane Calderwood, sound asleep in his mother's embrace.  By the way, Stacy Creamer has  entered the Central Park Triathlon this weekend.  This one should be no problem for her, as she has recently completed a longer triathlon near Duluth in Minnesota.  She said, "I could not rent a bike anywhere around in Duluth.  So I was watching the earlier cross-country race there, and I told someone about the situation.  He said, 'Oh, you can borrow my bike.'  Then he gave me his address and told me that his bike lock key is underneath a rock in his driveway."  Well, we will just say that people out there are somewhat different ...  P.S.  Stacy was followed by a man pushing a baby stroller, and the nice people up there volunteered to call the police to arrest this stalker ...
   
  General reaction from people about their weekend races was that their times were ... how shall we say? ... to use words that they did not use, 'sub-optimal.'  Given the weather conditions, it was necessary to adjust your expectations downwards.  [Insert our standard invective against holding the Club Team Championships in the middle of August for maximally worst weather conditions.  Then make a transition to our standard invective against making the women run a half-marathon scoring race on Mother's Day, being our second major consistent gripe.  And we shall not desist from griping from here to eternity until things change, because as professional media researchers, we understand the agenda-setting powers of media as well as the importance of repeated exposures.].
   
  Complaint Department:  "You have such a liberal website.  Why?  Because you publish the words to the Canadian national anthem!"  What!?  Liberalism = Canada?  Quickly, the complaint somehow got turned next onto liberal Alec Baldwin, who is from Massapequa on Long Island and who has not moved to Canada like he said he would.  How did we arrive at this point?  That was because someone claimed that four of the five boroughs of New York City are islands.  Remind us to look for the body of water the next time we cross the Queens-Nassau county line on the Long Island Expressway.

Complaint Department:  "In your analysis of the Commonwealth's performance at the Club Team Championships, it would seem to me that it is patently unfair that Toby Tanser is simultaneously from Great Britain, Iceland and Sweden."  Well, at least he is not from Kenya (see photo for proof):

 
Zürich Weltklasse:  Adam Newman wonders if anyone can lend him a tape of last Saturday's airing of this track meet on ESPN2 at 1am.  He was in Boston and he had every intention to watch the show, but he found to his dismay that the place that he was staying at did not have television!
 
Middle-distance runners receive this email from their coach: "It's 7:30pm on Tuesday and I just finished defending a deposition so I didn't have a chance to email the workout (or attend practice tonight).  Very Sorry.  Hope you enjoyed practice!"  It is at a moment like this that we remind everyone how fortunate we are.  All of us have lives beyond this running club --- our families, our friends, our work, ...  Among us, some donate their time to coach, to call splits, to organize teams, to provide transportation and to serve in all sorts of other manners and ways.  So the day when your coach misses one workout is the time to remember all the other days (at workouts, meets and elsewhere) that she was with you.  Thank you, Devon.

• UPDATE ON RUN ACROSS AMERICA:  Paul Sinclair: "The runners will run into the park at about 5 minute intervals, beginning around 2pm on Saturday, August 24th.  It's 33 miles from the stage start in W.Orange, NJ to Central Park, so this is an approximate time, give or take an hour).  The runners finish just inside the Park near the Columbus Circle entrance."  Their story and progress can be found at the Run Across America 2002 website.
   

• MEDAL HAUL:  At the New Mexico State Senior Games, Herb Schon netted five medals (2 golds, 2 silvers and 1 bronze) and Irene Jackson-Schon had 5 golds (included 2 State Games records).  However, Irene only thinks about that ignominious fourth place (out of five starters) in the 100m sprint.  That should give her a new goal in life ... work on the starting techniques!
    

• MWO:  Who is MWO?  Of course, you would know that MWO stands for MediaWhoresOnline, right?  This website itself has been in the news recently as a result of a hatchet job by Salon.com.  That article characterizes MWO as "an anonymously run Website whose writers and readers share a conviction that the mainstream media (aka "media whores") is dominated by a right-wing agenda, acts as a lapdog to President Bush and viciously attacks all things related to Bill Clinton, Al Gore or Democrats in general. So they, in turn, attack back."

  So what?  Who cares?  The Salon.com article describes MWO as being run by a group of anonymous individuals, whose anonymity allows them to hurl attacks without fear of personal retribution.  And the editorial style is characterized by the repeated use of the royal 'we' in meting out judgments and opinions.  Ah, yes, we can appreciate that method very well ... 

  ---

  WEEK OF AUGUST 13-AUGUST 19, 2002  

• ANGLOPHILE/ANGLOPHOBE?  On one hand, there is an endless series of invectives on this website against the Commonwealth.  On the other hand, there is the publication of the complete words to Rule Britannia.  So what is real deal?  Well, in the end, does it matter?  Or, to put it in other words, who cares?  
   
  One way or the other, and whatever else you might want to say, what is for certain is that this website has done our British members a tremendous service with respect to their appearance in the British Athletes in the USA website.  For example, the most listed Brits are not people such as Paul Evans, but instead they are Alan Ruben, Toby Tanser and Steven Paddock.  Without our lobbying effort, Steven Paddock could not have gotten onto that list for his 1600m (4:41:15) leg in the prestigious event known as the annual Central Park Track Club Team Relays, which was covered exclusively on this website.
   
  P.S.  For the record, Kevan Huston informs us the 'real' Canadian national anthem has these words:
   
  In Days of yore,
  From Britain's shore
  Wolfe the dauntless hero came
  And planted firm Britannia's flag
  On Canada's fair domain.
  Here may it wave,
  Our boast, our pride
  And joined in love together,
  The thistle, shamrock, rose entwined,
  The Maple Leaf Forever.

  [CHORUS]
  The Maple Leaf
  Our Emblem Dear,
  The Maple Leaf Forever.
  God save our Queen and heaven bless,
  The Maple Leaf Forever.

  At Queenston Heights and Lundy's Lane
  Our brave fathers side by side
  For freedom's home and loved ones dear,
  Firmly stood and nobly died.
  And so their rights which they maintained,
  We swear to yield them never.
  Our watchword ever more shall be
  The Maple Leaf Forever

  [CHORUS]

  Our fair Dominion now extends
  From Cape Race to Nootka Sound
  May peace forever be our lot
  And plenty a store abound
  And may those ties of love be ours
  Which discord cannot sever
  And flourish green for freedom's home
  The Maple Leaf Forever

  [CHORUS]
     

• WEEKEND DOUBLES:  Sanity mostly ruled as we had only two people who did the Saturday-Sunday double: G'mo Rojas and Jesse Lansner.  In past years, the Club Team Championships took place on the same weekend as the much lighter Central Park Triathlon (fewer entrants, shorter distances, easy swim, short bike and relatively favorable to runners), so that we did have quite a few two-timers (yes, we knew that we could always count on Stacy Creamer on her quest to win a triathlon until she finally did it last year).  This year, the weather was atrocious, so that it is hard to imagine running flat out for a five miler on Saturday and then a 10K on Sunday.
   
  Correction:  G'mo Rojas points out that his weekend double consisted of moving into a new apartment on Saturday and therefore being extremely tired on Sunday for the triathlon.  He has no idea why he was credited with a time in the Saturday race which he didn't run.
   
  Correction:  Olivier Baillet had a weekend double --- Club Team Championships on Saturday and then the West Point Triathlon on Sunday.  Given that he already did a early morning long run PRIOR to the club race, he discovered quickly that he got only 'sub-optimal' results in the withering heat.  He says, "But a lousy double is still a double!"
   

• HAMMERED ...:  The highest single day visitor count this year occurred on Monday at around 750 home page visits.  The total bandwidth is probably the highest ever, because we had more than 200 new photos.  This is what multiple big events will do each time.  Historically, this is always the second best day of the year, after the New York City Marathon.  Just keep 'em coming ...
    

• NEW YORK CITY TRIATHLON: The race results were posted on Monday.  Our best finisher were Matt Newman for 3rd M30-34 and Aubin Sullivan for 4th F30-34.  Last year, we had the 1-2 sweep by Stefani Jackenthal and Shelley Farmer, but we suppose that nobody wins forever.  As a spectator sport, this triathlon thing is terribly confusing with the wave starts.  We have no idea who is in what place, and we are sure that the athletes don't know either.  There is also no Central Park Track Club triathlon uniforms, so that we have no idea who just went by unless they come up to say hello.  
   
  Next week, we will have the more intimate Central Park Triathlon on our home course.  Among the participants will be John McGaw, whom we have not seen running since last year's event.  After that race, he was diagnosed with a broken knee, underwent surgery and is back again for this race.  This is certainly not for lack of trying.
    

• MATE:  No, this is not Aussie speak.  Yerba mate is the Argentine national drink, according to our self-appointed expert in such matters (whom we should point out has never had a sip of the stuff).  Our great new taster is Olivier Baillet: "Demuestra que por sus venas plenas de sangre francesa, alguna gauchita de las pampas, dejo huella y le enseñó a tomar mate."
   
  
   

• CLUB TEAM PHOTOGRAPHS:  The NYRR Club Team Championships is the race that draws the highest turnouts among all the running clubs.  As such, it is the occasion for team photos, both taken by NYRR for their publications and by the teams for themselves.  Compare our 2002 photos with the 1996 edition:
   
  
   
  Would you not say that we are prim and proper these days?  Well, at least relatively speaking ...  
   
  And if you look at these photos, how many of you have even heard of the names of Lucy White, Jill Gisvold, Candace Strobach, Karel Matousek, Larry Glazer, Rashid Azim, Sam Li, Mel Washington, Fasil Yilma,  ... much less than identify them? and can you find Rae Baymiller,Chris Sicaris, Frank Schneiger, Alan Ruben, Chip Olsen, Frank Morton, Sid Howard, Casey Yamazaki, Yumi Ogita, Dan Hamner, Peter Allen, Mary V. Rosado, ... ?  and these people will hear the names of Toby Tanser, Alayne Adams, Margaret Angell, Devon Sargent, Craig Chilton, Isaya Okwiya, ... for the first time several years after this photo was taken.  Ah, but the organizational chaos will always be there ...
    

• DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS:  A special message on Joseph Kozusko's t-shirt to remind people not to mess with Texas, the home state of Lance Armstrong, Kim Mannen, Aubin Sullivan ...  Hook 'em, horns!
   
  
   

• RULE, BRITANNIA!  BRITANNIA RULES THE WAVES!  Craig Chilton: "The website accurately indicates that the Commonwealth took a 50% share of the ten scoring places at the Club Champs, but a more telling analysis is that five of our top seven were from the Commonwealth!  More interesting however, and proof that we are 'two halves of the same whole,' is that if this race had only scored five deep, CPTC as a team would have placed the same in the standings irrespective of whether we fielded our Commonwealth team or our America team. CPTC unite!"  Since our next team outing will be to go to the Proms at the Royal Albert Hall to welcome the New Year, we had better start learning the words to Rule Britannia by James Thompson:
   
  When Britain first at Heaven's command 
  Arose from out the azure main, 
  This was the charter of her land, 
  And guardian angels sung the strain: 
   
  Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves! 
  Britons never shall be slaves!

  The nations not so blest as thee 
  Must in their turn to tyrants fall, 
  Whilst thou shalt flourish great and free 
  The dread and envy of them all.

  Still more majestic shalt thou rise, 
  More dreadful from each foreign stroke; 
  As the loud blast that tears the skies 
  Serves but to root thy native oak.

  Thee haughty tyrants ne'er shall tame; 
  All their attempts to bend thee down 
  Will but arouse thy generous flame, 
  And work their woe and thy renown.

  To thee belongs the rural reign; 
  Thy cities shall with commerce shine; 
  All thine shall be the subject main, 
  And every shore it circles thine!

  The Muses, still with Freedom found, 
  Shall to thy happy coast repair; 
  Blest Isle, with matchless beauty crown'd 
  And manly hearts to guard the fair.
    
  Rule, Britannia! Britannia rules the waves! 
  Britons never shall be slaves!
   

• NYRR CLUB TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS WRAP-UP:  The weather on this day was atrocious.  By 8am, the temperature was already near 90 degrees.  The humidity was at saturation point.  And the sun was relentless.  All hopes of getting personal records or even normal times were out the window.  We are glad to report that we had no major individual casualties, other than someone barfing in a major way a couple of times at the finish line.  [Insert here our standard invective against holding the championships in the month of August]  Here is the review of our team results in various divisions:
   
  Open Men, 4th place:  Considering the circumstances, this was exactly what we expected.  Westchester Track Club was unbeatable on this day.  For most of the last few races, we have finished behind Warren Street and West Side Runners, and the same thing happened today.  With respect to the other teams, we did exactly what was required.  Our top scorer was only in 30th place in the race, but our tenth runner was in 65th place.  If this race was scored on the top five, we would have been pushed further down to 6th place.  But our next five runners (and the other ten that ran under 30 minutes) pulled the team up.  Just remember that depth and commitment are our two strengths.  
   
  For the record, our ten scorers are Toby Tanser (UK), Jonathan Pillow, Steven Paddock  (UK), Craig Chilton (Canada), Alan Ruben  (UK), Armando Oliveira, Kevan Huston (Canada), Richie Borrero, Erik Goetze and Peter Allen.  Those country designations mean that the Commonwealth achieved a 50% share.  We also thank our next ten: Adam Manewell (Canada), Eric Boucher, David Howard, Paul Stuart-Smith (UK), Glen Carnes, Graeme Reid (UK), Mark Sowa, John Affleck, James Siegel and Jesus Montero (Spain).  Our 21st finisher Victor Osayi is from Nigeria, another member of the Commonwealth.
   
  Open Women, 3rd place:  Considering the circumstances, this was exactly what we expected.  Westchester Track Club was unbeatable on this day.  In terms of team strength, we were missing our two team leaders of the year, Margaret Angell and Alayne Adams.  On this team, the choice is easy --- if you have personal commitments elsewhere, then the team be damned!  No ifs or buts.  But next year, we will require those two to turn over their passports to us early summer ...  In any case, we knew that we would still be able to field a competitive team.  Our top scorer was only in 14th place in the race, but we placed eight people in the top 50.  Moving Comfort NY got second place, but we would be close if Angell and Adams were here.  No regrets.  Never.
   
  For the record, our top eight were: Alison Rosenthal, Yumi Ogita, Audrey Kingsley, Kate Crowley, Lauren Eckhart (Canada), Stephanie Gould, Shelley Farmer (Canada) and Darlene Miloski (Canada).  So the Commonwealth did not win this one (unless they take Vermont back).  Ali Rosenthal is a new member since early this year and took over the leadership role from her good friend Margaret Angell.  Fourth-place master Yumi Ogita came through with her first big race for the team this year.  This means that we will have a very interesting NYC Marathon team with sub-2:55 average potential (note: their PRs are sub-2:50 average).  Audrey Kingsley also picked a good day to deliver her best performance of the year, by some very smarting running.  At the two-mile mark, Tony Ruiz told her: "The twenty people in front of you look like they're already cooked, but you look really fresh.  You will be able to get them all!"  Indeed, she moved rapidly through the field.
   
  Masters Men, 2nd place:  Our masters men team finished second behind West Side Runners, who beat us across the board in every scoring position.  But this is immaterial, as we have a huge lead in the NYRR Club Championships table.  We had 102 points to 38 points for West Side Runners prior to today's race, and now the score is 126 to 68.  Even if the West Side Runners win all four remaining races (for 60 points), all we have to do is enter three people each time (for 4 points).  For the record, our five masters scorers were: Alan Ruben (UK), Peter Allen (New Jersey), Paul Stuart-Smith (UK), Graeme Reid (UK) and Victor Osayi (Nigeria).  The British Commonwealth won by a landslide.  Somewhere out in Arizona, John Prather is stewing: "I wish I could be there to take care of business ..."  Well, London is even farther away and Paul Stuart-Smith flew in for the race.
   
  Masters Women, 4th place:  Our masters women finished in fourth place, with Yumi Ogita (Japan), Maria Chale (Tanzania) and Sylvie Kimché (France).  The Commonwealth beats USA by 1-0.  If we had Alayne Adams (Canada) in there, we would have won hands down because she should have been in the top five overall.  Again, no regrets.  Never.  Next question:  Will the marathon team of Adams-Ogita-Chale break 3:00 average?
   
  Veteran Men, 13th place:  Our veteran men's team finished in 13th place.  We do not have sufficient manpower in this division right now.  
   
  Veteran Women, 2nd place:  Our veteran women's team finished in 2nd place, with Sylvie Kimché, Mary V. Rosado and Caryl Baron.  O, how we missed Irene Jackson-Schon!  With Irene here, we would have won hands down, as in any other race this year in which we can field Sylvie, Irene and Mary.  Meanwhile, Mary has declared after the race: "This is the last Club Team Championships that I will ever run."  Yes, you read it here first --- Mary will not be running the Club Team Championships until the next one ...
    

• THURSDAY ROAD WORKOUT REPORT:  It was dog-hot 88 degrees and dog-humid too at the start of the workout.  Thirty-five people showed up at the start of the workout.  Why are these people here?  This is not about staying out of the dog-hot and dog-humid weather.  Rather there is a big Club Team Championships race in thirty-six hours' time and then an even bigger New York City Triathlon twenty-four hours later.  
   
  As is the case with the Thursday workout before a big race, there was the light workout for the racers and then there was the full workout for the non-racers.  Guess what?  There only three non-racers!  It looks like therefore that we will have a good turnout at the races.  But we know that we will not be at full strength, due to some injuries and absences plus the fact that not many will do the Saturday-Sunday double.  To maximize our performance, we will review some race tips.  First of all, the Club Team Championships is unlike any other NYRR race.  Whereas the usual race contains several thousand runners, most of whom are middle-of-the-pack, this race will have only a few hundred competitive runners.  Right off the starting horn, they will all rush out like maniacs.  Because you are not used to being so far behind relatively, you may panic and go out with the other maniacs.  Given the fact that it will be hot and humid, this may turn out to be a grave mistake.  Or, as Bola Awofeso says, there will be an interesting photo of you at the top of Cat Hill.  But if you start off conservatively, you will find the rest of the world coming back to you quicker than a sinking stone after the first couple of miles.
   
  For the open men's competition, the scoring is based upon the positions of the first ten runners.  It may be that you believed and counted yourself beyond that first group.  But the way we usually beat another team is not because our first five were superior; rather, it is often the case that our depth permitted us to put twenty-five runners before someone else's tenth men.  So we urge you to think not globally in terms of your absolute position, but to think locally with respect to finishing ahead of people from other teams right around you.
   
  Just a few minutes after the workout began, our home page visitor count passed the 320,000 mark.  Given that the 300,000 mark was attained on June 25th, this means that the next 20,000 was achieved in only 50 days.  What accounts for the phenomenal success of this quirky running club website?  We quote from a Salon.com article: The Media Titans Still Don't Get It : 

For AOL the key experience was getting new users online painlessly:   It has always offered the simplest, most idiot-proof onramp to the Internet.  AOL solved a vexing problem for millions of people; that, more than any "content strategy" or insight into online behavior, secured its dominance.

But once those people got online, they almost immediately started behaving in unpredictable ways. They didn't wait for a media corporation to tell them what to do; they began writing pages and posting comments and building sites and contributing reviews and arguing and inventing identities.  This unplanned behavior was made possible because of design decisions made by the engineers who established the Internet long before the media world ever heard of it.  As Doc Searls summarizes these principles, "Nobody owns it; everyone can use it; anyone can improve it."

This activity continues unabated, oblivious to the Web industry's flameout. "We -- the great mass of Web users -- knew that there was more to the story than how the money was being made and, later, lost," David Weinberger writes in "Small Pieces Loosely Joined."  Weinberger -- one of the writers behind "The Cluetrain Manifesto" -- tries to analyze the rest of the story: How the peculiar, unique traits of the Net are shaping a new kind of human discourse.

The argument is abstract -- and, in places, abstruse -- but at its heart is a simple insight:  That most of what's on the Web is there because someone is interested in it, cares about it passionately enough to put it in front of the rest of the world. 

In a very few words, we were interested and cared enough to build and maintain this website, and you were interested and cared enough to come back again and again and again ...  Thank you once again ...

• SATURDAY MORNING/AFTERNOON/EVENING: (August 17th, 2002)
  Morning: Club team championships (men 830am, women 850am), East 99th Street, Central Park; for details see next item.
  Afternoon: Softball game (Central Park Track Club vs. Greater New York Running Team), 3pm-6pm, Great Lawn, Central Park; for details see next item.
  Evening:  Join Steven Paddock and friends for a few more beers at the Back Page (Sports Bar) at 3rd & 84th Street.
    

• CLUB TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS SCHEDULE:  As if you don't know, the Club Team Championships 5 Miler will take place on Saturday (August 17th, 2002).  First thing to remember is that there are two separate races: Men at 830am and Women at 850am.  The start will be at East 101st Street and the finish at East 99th Street.
   
  The current standings of the team in the NYRR Club Championships are:
  Open Men --- 3rd place
  Masters Men --- 1st place
  Veteran Men --- 12th place
  Open Women --- 1st place
  Masters Women --- 4th place
  Veteran Women --- 5th place
   
  Among these divisions, it would appear that our masters men have a lock on the championship, with 102 points so far (JSRC has 79 points in second place).  The most competitive division will be the open women who are leading MCNY by only 10 points.  This race is a double-points race: 1st-30, 2nd-24, 3rd-20, 4th-16, 5th-12, 6th-10, 7th-8, 8th-6, 9th-4, 10th-2.  This race is also scored with more runners than usual:
   
  Open Men --- top 10 runners
  Masters Men --- top 5 runners
  Veteran Men --- top 3 runners
  Open Women --- top 5 runners
  Masters Women --- top 3 runners
  Veteran Women --- top 3 runners
   
  The larger-than-usual number of scorers would favor a large and deep team like ours, as there have been teams in the past that have placed 5 runners in the top 10 and still unable to score any points because they could not field 10 runners.  We will have multiple photographers out on the race course, so try to hold your best form all the way.
   
  For all male runners, we would like to see you head back up the race course after you finish to cheer all the women.  Afterwards, we will take team photos in the finishing area.
    
  On the same Saturday, we will have our annual softball game as is our tradition (see 2001 and 2000). This year, we are delighted to be playing the Greater New York Running Team.  The game will be held on field #2 of The Great Lawn (southeast corner) in Central Park from 3pm-6pm in the afternoon.  Please bring any softball equipment you may have, particularly gloves.  Drinks will be provided.

• OMMMMMMMMMMM!  What cheer can we devise for the team race on Saturday?  In Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Soccer by David Winner, the spoon-bending Israeli paranormalist Uri Geller said: "Orange is a very powerful, assertive colour and Dutch supporters make a lot of noise, but there is something dead in them.  There's no life, no spirit.  If they had the spirit, then they'd start winning.  Maybe it's in the psyche of the Dutch people.  Someone has to teach them the power of prayer, belief and faith.  If you could teach the players also and combine that with the fans, then you would definitely start winning cups.'  Geller suggests a televised ritual involving chanting of 'key words' before a match might get the whole country behind its team ...
   

• MEMBERS OF THE COMMONWEALTH UNITE!:  Okay, we've had enough discussion about the social and educational systems in the British Commonwealth.  More pertinent to the upcoming race, Kevan Huston wrote: "A developing subtext to this Saturday's Club Championships appears to be whether the Commonwealth can place more men than the USA among the top 10 Central Park Track Club men.  Among the speedy 'A' types, a quick census of possible scorers yields 5 Britons, a Kenyan, and 3 Canadians. We're including out-of-towners in this impressive roll, so the reality may be a somewhat reduced contingent.  So the stage is set.  Can the Great Republic answer the call?  Stay tuned, eh."
   
  Protest note #1:  Kevan's list omitted the highest age-group-rated Commonwealth runner on our team --- Jamaican Alston Brown ...
   

• LONG RANGE WEATHER FORECAST:  For weather forecasts, anything more than four days away is considered too speculative (i.e. your guess is as good as mine).  But this is already Wednesday and, according to Accuweather.com, Saturday will be hot and humid with a high of 94 degrees.  Ugh!  Please adjust your race pace goal accordingly and bear in mind that everyone is going to be racing under the same conditions.  This race is famous for nasty DNF's due to the hot and humid weather.  And we mean NASTY as in the skin turning green or total blackouts, etc.  Once upon a time, the Club Team Championships race was held in the pleasant month of May, and we can assure that we were not the team(s) that argued for the race to be moved first to the month of July, and then to August.  In fact, for the first year when the race was moved, our team declared a team holiday for the month of August during which we did not train or race as a team ...
    

• TWO OR THREE THINGS ABOUT PAULA RADCLIFFE:  Deux ou Trois Choses Que Je Sais d'Elle?  Actually, this is not about Paula at all.  
   
  First things first.  The sad thing about contemporary athletics is that 'sudden improvement in performance' is now automatically equated with 'drugs.'  Our most memorable speaker is the sullen Gwen Torrance, whom we remember for taking the position that (1) God gave her special talents and (1) she has trained hard and, therefore, if she was beaten at the Olympics/World Championships, it must have been by drug cheats.  The possibility that someone else may have more of God's Grace and/or trained harder was completely precluded.  The list of notable recent events ---
   
  (1) Lance Armstrong faced a gauntlet of French people chanting "Dopé!  Dopé!" as he climbed the mountains during his fourth Tour de France victory.
   
  (2) Kelly Holmes, third-place to Jolanda Ceplak in the European Championships, said: "There was no way of catching her and, without saying too much, you take your own guesses, but I know I did it fairly and with progression."  Apology for those harsh words?  "I have got nothing to apologise to her for.  You are assuming I am talking about one person but you might be wrong.  I just wanted to say that I was proud I ran it cleanly and there is nothing wrong with that.  I did not say she ran a dirty race."   Ceplak has improved her 800m time by 5 seconds in the last 2 years.  For the record, Holmes herself had improved by 4 seconds at one point early in her own career.  God help Holmes if her improvement had occurred in today's climate.
   
  (3)  Paula Radcliffe runs the second fastest 10K in history to win the European Championships.  Immediately, the drug rumors swelled.  "It upsets me because it is something that is very important to me," said Radcliffe, who wears a red ribbon on her vest at every race to protest against drug taking in sport.  "I know myself and the people around me know that it is all because of the hard work that has been put in.  You have to accept the situation. At the same time it's very hard. That's why it would be great if we could win the battle against doping and have testing that was 100 per-cent reliable. But I don't think that will happen in my competitive career.  If I could go somewhere and say 'test me for everything you can do', I would - and I would be quite happy to publish the results."  At Radcliffe's request, UK Sports has released confirmation of five negative drug tests on Radcliffe over the past year.  Radcliffe was also gracious in refusing (and it would be too easy to do so) to lash out at the official 10,000m world record of 29:31.78 by Wang Junxia (China).  Would Radcliife accept her own time as the unofficial world record?  "No, I don't.  Because I don't want people to doubt my time. If you had asked me a few years ago I would never have thought I could run this fast.   So maybe in my mind I was a bit unfair to the Chinese.  Obviously people did doubt the record at the time, but the suspicions were never proven.  Having said that, I don't think I could ever run the final 3,000 metres in 8.15 like Wang Junxia did."
   
  Next, we get back to the apparently-never-dying question, "Is the Commonwealth Games a major competition?"  Was this the 'major' medal that Paula Radcliffe failed to obtain at the Olympics or World Championships in the past?  We made the intellectual argument that the Ethiopians (and there is an extensive list of top runners: Derartu Tulu, Gete Wami, Berhane Adere, Gezahagne Abera, Ayelech Workum, Werknesh Kidane) and the 2000 Olympic Champion (Garbriela Szabo) are not members of the Commonwealth, and so we will never know if the front-running Radcliffe might have been shut out again by those sit-and-kickers.
   
  But it is perhaps proper that the author of the argument should disclose a potential source of personal bias.  Way back when, he held a Hong Kong (note: member of the British Commonwealth) passport and studied at an Australian (note: member of the British Commonwealth) high school.  Upon high school graduation, he entered university in Australia.  Each year, ten Commonwealth university scholarships were offered to incoming students based upon entrance examination scores alone.  As it turned out, he had the highest total score in the entire history of the state of New South Wales (note: it was easy because he was simultaneously a science major and an arts major when almost everyone had to choose one track or the other, and he also had multiple language skills).  Unfortunately, he found out that not all members of the Commonwealth are equal, as some (e.g. Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom, etc) are more equal than others (e.g. Hong Kong, India, Pakistan, Malaysia, Singapore, etc), and these Commonwealth scholarships were in fact closed to all second-class members.  Is it small wonder that he is quite cynical about the idea as well as the reality of the British Commonwealth?  And he doesn't care what the Canadians (note: members of the British Commonwealth) have to say!  P.S. Don't ever ask him about the Queen's Birthday holiday!
   
  The true lesson of the story is this --- Never slight someone with a petty mind and an elephantine memory, because he/she will be biting at your ankles for his/her whole life ...
   
  As for the third thing, we have to go to the next item ...
   

• THE SID HOWARD METHOD:  There are presently two individual age-group world record holders on the Central Park Track Club: Rae Baymiller and Sid Howard.  Just this week, our coach Tony Ruiz marveled at the number of national titles that Sid has accumulated over the years.  So how does he do it?  Once upon a wintry night, when a traveler was riding in Sid's famous van, he received this piece of advice from the man himself: "I ran hard tonight.  Even if I am not hurting right now, I am sure that I will be sore tomorrow.  When I get home  tonight, I am going to prepare an ice bath --- yes, that would be a bath tub filled with ice.  I am going to jump in and stay there for ten minutes.  It will allow my body to recover quickly."  Strange advice, indeed.  Or, not so strange advice after all because this is exactly what Paula Radcliffe does (see BBC story).  As Paula said, "It's absolute agony, and I dread it, but it allows my body to recover so much more quickly."
    

• A CHAIN LETTER THAT FINALLY GOT TO US:  The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of this year's winning entries:

  1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
  2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
  5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
  6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
  7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
  8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
  9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
  10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
  11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
  12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
  13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
  14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
  15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
  16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
  17. Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.
  18. Marionettes (n.), residents of Washington who have been jerked around by the mayor.
  19. Bustard (n.), a very rude Metrobus driver.
  20. Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

  The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:
   
  Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
  Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
  Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
  Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.
  Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
  Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
  Glibido: All talk and no action.
  Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
   

• LET FREEDOM RUN:  This one-time-only event will take place on Saturday, September 14, 2002, 9am, to honor those who fell on September 11th and to celebrate the spirit of America.  The race course is four miles long, from Pier 84 (44th Street by the Hudson River) downtown past Ground Zero to finish in Battery Park.  Entries are limited, so register as early as possible.
   

• TUESDAY TRACK WORKOUT REPORT:  Ugh!  It was ninety-something degrees down at the track and humid too.  There were fifty-three people at the start of the workout.  This is the last hard workout before the Club Team Championships, so it is a little bit too late to build up your strength and/or speed.  This workout will simply not make you a minute or two faster over five miles.  With a simple workout of (6x400m+6x200m), the goal was to find out how fit you were.  For some, it was an adventure to find out how unfit they were.  
   
  A lot of time was spent on reviewing the logistics of the Club Team Championship events.  First and foremost --- altogether now --- the Men's race begins at 830am and the Women's race at 850am.  Please, don't arrive late!  Audrey Kingsley makes the decision for you: "If you are still thinking about running the Club Team Championships race, then don't think anymore.  Just run it!  Compared to previous years, we appear to be short-handed (but not severely so) in all divisions.  So get out there even if you are not 100%, because you never know what might happen."
   
  The late workout start means a late finish, and now it is actually getting dark.  Summer is obviously not over yet because of the high temperature, but Labor Day is only a couple of weeks away!
    
  No more red Nike fashion statements for this week, as the two principals in last week's saga wore their oldest and saddest-looking shoes in order to avoid further attention.
    
  Here is one reason why you want to join a running team --- you have a blister on your foot and you wish that you had remembered to bring a band-aid.  What do you do?  You just say aloud, "Anyone has any band-aid?" and, lo and behold, you get multiple offers in all sizes, shapes and colors from your teammates.
   
  James Siegel: "I don't think I am getting the altitude training program right.  I trained at sea-level and then I raced at altitude (Colorado Rockies) ..."
  Adam Newman: "If James Siegel can annotate his race as 'too many hills, too little oxygen', then I must annotate my winning time of 18:59 at the Schuylerville 5K as 'a cross-country race that began at noon in the high heat of the day.'"  Adam also said, "18:59 is about the time that my sister runs."  Really?  Can we recruit your sister for the team?
  Olivier Baillet on his race result from the 12th Troféu de Brasil Triathlon in the city of Santos (Brazil): "The Matrix doesn't know everything."
  Darlene Miloski: "As good as the website is --- such as finding me at the George Sheehan Classic --- it still missed my second place finish at the Hampton Race Festival."  Note: It began with our two (male) spies missing her out there.
  Stuart Calderwood: "Stacy Creamer and I both ran a race out in Minnesota a week ago."
   
  Tony Ruiz: "Who is that fast girl in blue shorts leading the D group?"
  Audrey Kingsley: "That's Jerome O'Shaughnessy!"
    
  As for the great soccer wars, we reached a mutual accommodation, at least temporarily.  The soccer players moved the big soccer goal across the field right behind their mini-goal, so that most of the stray shots would land in the big net instead of hitting people.  We say 'most', because our heads snapped at the end of the workout when we heard a loud boom and we turned our heads just in time to see a powerful stray shot landing near the water fountain.  Meanwhile, the runners did their part by not starting at their traditional markers, but moving 10 meters further back and therefore away from those mini-goals.  That still did not prevent one grey-haired terrorist lawyer from almost flattening Mary Rosado, who was sitting innocently near the half-way line, with an ill-aimed shot.  The terrorist begged us not to publish this, but the people have a right to know ...
   
  Question: How does James Siegel get two girls to run home with him after the workout?
  Answer: Because James Siegel is our Social Director.

WEEK OF AUGUST 6-AUGUST 12, 2002

• MIZUNO 2002 Wave Precision 3: From Toby Tanser: "Brand new pair of Mizuno Wave Precision 3 men's size 11 for sale. The retail is $85.00 and I'll sell for the best offer of wine/dollars. They're great shoes - Also brand new Wave Goodbye's in a size 10-men.  Same deal!  Swap for anything of interest."
   

• FORGOT TO GLOAT: ... about Adrianna Fernandez winning the People's Beach To Beacon 10K a couple of weeks ago.  She is special to us as our Latin American cover girl.
   

• NYC MARATHON RUNNER FROM GERMANY:  From Stefan Schwope: "I am a German marathon runner from Cologne (Köln) and this year I qualified for the NY-Marathon. Now I am looking for a place to stay during the NY-Marathon. It would be nice if I could stay by a runner, perhaps who starts at the NY Marathon himself. If someone invite me, I would invite him next year for the Cologne-Marathon.  Something about me:

  Name: Stefan Schwope
  Birth: 13.09.62
  Profession: studied economics at University of Cologne, now I have been working for a great German insurance company 
  Interests: all kinds of sport, especially marathon, skiing, sailing, moto-biking, making some music, learning Italian 
  Marathons: Running since 1986, 15 marathon, I took part at the 100th Boston Marathon 1996 
  Best Time: 2:37:18 h 1995 Hamburg-Marathon
  Last Marathon 2:44:20 h 2000 Cologne-Marathon
    

• USATF MASTERS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS RESULTS:  The meet website results page promised: "During the Championship meet, check this page for results listed by number and by athlete name."  Technically speaking, they are not lying because you can check the race results from the 1998 meet.
   
  But we do have some preliminary results through our self-help network.  Now, if we only knew that they were not going to deliver, we would have maintained full records for our team.
   

• THE METZLS: In this CNN story, we read: 

A successful family by any standard, with physician parents steering the ship, the Metzls are typical of people seeking such as challenge, experts say -- Type A personalities who want to push themselves to new limits, having already done marathons.

"There's an intensity, and they don't wimp out," said Marilyn Metzl, the men's mother. "When you start something in our family, you're expected to finish it."

This leads us to ask, "Does this expectation extend to the extended family?"  Please say no ...

• BRILLIANT ORANGE:  First, there are the men in orange: "Few outside of the country [Holland] have heard of the queen or the prime minister, but almost everyone (apart from North Americans) has a soft spot for the men in orange."
   
  Then there is the book from which the quote came from, Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Soccer by David Winner, which begins with this paragraph:

If this is a book of Dutch football, at some stage you'll probably wonder why it contains pages and pages about art and architects, cows and canals, anarchists, church painters, rabbis and airports, but barely a word, for example, about PSV and Feyenoord.  A very fair point.  And the reason, I suppose, is that this is not so much a book about Dutch football as a book about the idea of Dutch football, which is something slightly different.  More than that, it's about my idea of the idea of Dutch football, which is something else again.

So, can you see why we have to be in love with the book?  We, being the embodiment of our personal and idiosyncratic ideas about the idea of the orange Central Park Track Club ...  If you wonder what we are talking about, we will just use Johan Cruyff''s famous saying: "If I wanted you to understand it, I would have explained it better ..."

• MIRROR SYMMETRY:  What is mirror symmetry?  A technical definition is: "Calabi-Yau manifolds are compact, complex manifolds with vanishing first Chern class (or holonomy SU(n)).  Mirror symmetry, a phenomenon relating seemingly unrelated pairs of Calabi-Yau manifolds, was first observed by physicists and has now greatly developed as a mathematical subject over the last ten years.  If X and X' are a mirror pair of Calabi-Yau manifolds, then there should first be a relation h^p-q(X) = h ^n-p,q( X'), where n = dim X.  Under the mirror symmetry hypothesis, the variation of Hodge structure of a Calabi-Yau threefold determines the Gromov-Witten invariants of its mirror.  The mathematical construction of the Gromov-Witten potential, and the proof of its crucial property that it satisfies the WDVV equation, then makes it possible to construct a flat connection underlying a variation of Hodge structure in the Calabi-Yau case."  But that is not what we are talking about, although we could be.
   
  What we are talking about is the Tuesday track report on Tanser.org to the effect that a certain Central Park Track Club member was wearing "a very natty pair of red Nikes, making quite the fashion statement."  For the complete record, we should let you know that this observation was preceded by Toby Tanser saying, "Oh, you are wearing the same red Nikes as I am."  Just thought you ought to know the full story ...
    

• A TECHNICAL PROBLEM:  At the Tuesday track workouts, we have a weigh-in/weigh-out programme so that people can figure out how much weight they have lost during the workout.  Audrey Kingsley posed this technical problem:  "What if you lost a pound of sweat during the workout, but it is now all on your shirt and shorts?  You would weigh exactly the same, wouldn't you?"
   

• HOW TO READ THE NEW YORK TIMES SUBVERSIVELY:  In the review of the movie XXX, there was a quote attributed to Italian spaghetti western director Sergio Leone: "Read a lot of comic books, watch TV often and above all, make up your minds that cinema is not just something for snobs, other filmmakers and the mothers of petulant critics."  If you transpose these words now to our Food Review page, you'll get the idea exactly.  P.S.  Over the course of this past week, we were repeatedly called 'food snobs.'  We categorically reject that epithet, because we consider ourselves 'food bigots' instead.  Big difference!
   
  The first case of mad cow disease in Canada has just been confirmed in a dead Saskatchewan man.  Of course, the man had contracted the disease in Britain.  So, do we ban travel to Britain and/or the slaughtering and consumption of beef?
   
  By going to the Thursday workout, we obviously missed the Real Madrid-AS Roma game played in front of 70,000 plus at Giants Stadium.  The game ended up in an exciting 0-0 draw.  It is hard to believe, but 0-0 games can be exciting, whereas 7-6 games can be annoying to the extreme (except for those who enjoy screaming "Sieve!  Sieve!  Sieve!" at the goalies).
   
  But when we came to Joe Ezsterhas' Hollywood's Responsibility for Smoking Deaths, any words that we might add can only detract ...
   

• RAE:  For the many newcomers on this team, the name Rae Baymiller may not be familiar at all.  Well, Rae is the most illustrious runner on this team and some of her accomplishments are enumerated on the Rae Baymiller page on this website.  Her Chicago Marathon time of 2:51:14 (only about 10 seconds behind our Craig Chilton in that race) at age 55 was selected by Runner's World as one of the top three most amazing age-group feats of all time.  Now, Rae has her own website ( www.raebaymiller.com ) that carries her active sportwear line and silk-screened posters.
   

• THURSDAY ROAD WORKOUT REPORT:  Fourth day in a row with the dry weather.  Fifty-three people at the start of the workout, although we kept picking up runners along the way: Harry Morales, Sara Grillo, Margaret Schotte, and so on.  Oh, before we forget, Audrey Kingsley said, "Please make sure that I get mentioned for showing up at the end of the workout.  That is the only reason that I even came here." 
   
  Our workout consisted of three laps around the Central Park reservoir.  On a fine weather evening, the reservoir was actually fairly crowded, and our runners were jostled by some guy who kept bumping into our team members, elbowing them and saying: "Excuse me!  Fast runner coming through!"  The half of the team that just joined us this year was totally aghast at this appalling behavior.  The other half of the team who are veterans had a good laugh, because 
  (1) this man is from Spain, and so all is forgiven; 
  (2) this man is a triathlete, and so everything makes sense in that case; 
  (3) this man is one of the few people that we know runs marathons in negative splits --- on July 28th, his first half of the marathon was just over 2:40 with ten miles of walking and the second half was under 2:40 with only seven miles of walking --- and so we need to offer him our condolences; 
  (4) this man showers four times a day, so he is always in a hurry to get to the shower;
  (5) ... but since this man has refused to send over the female Ivy League 2:15 800m runner to us, we will never ever talk to him again!
   
  Otto Hoering was really impressed at how we were able to find his race result at the Jeff Jam 5K in Jeffersonville, NY on Saturday.  Actually, we thought that he should be more impressed with our finding his race result in the one mile swim in the Hudson River on Sunday.  He didn't think so, because he said, "Scott Willett is in the swim, so it stands to reason that you will find the race."  Ah, yes, that Scott Willett character ...  it gives us such great pleasure to look up those swim races in which he gets beaten by a woman and he always does ...
   
  Here is a piece of hearsay --- our soccer-ball victim is out of the hospital and recuperating at home.  She allegedly said, "I have a splitting headache, like as if I just went out drinking hard last night.  I wouldn't mind the headache, if only I did go out drinking ..."  And about that whole episode that appeared in this past Tuesday's track workout report, Marty Levine said, "You must have spent a long time working on that diagram.  I checked the website at midnight and nothing had appeared yet."  Yes, there are two ingredients --- you must have time on hand and you must be angry, and then it is easy.
   

• YEAR-TO-DATE INDIVIDUAL WINS:  Two more individual road victories this weekend, for Steven Paddock in the Hamptons and Adam Newman in upstate New York.  From this, we can suggest everyone to think about traveling far and wide.  But the point is not to collect more race victories in the boonies.  Instead, we point out that there is a lot out there than just the same old Central Park races.  For example, Steven Paddock's race was in conjunction with his first visit to the Hamptons with friends, and by all account quite enjoyable. 
   
  In case you are wondering where we stand on the victory scorecard, this is our compiled list:

1. Steven Paddock, January 27th, LIRRC 5 Miles, Eisenhower Park, Long Island, NY

2. Kevin Arlyck, February 10th, Valentine's Day 5K, Prospect Park, Brooklyn, NY

3. Kate Crowley, April 13th, 17th Bridge Run 5K, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

4. Steven Paddock, April 13th, Skagg-Walsh 5K, Queens, NY

5. Toby Tanser, April 27th, Teen Challenge of Brooklyn 5K, Prospect Park, Brooklyn, NY

6. Kate Crowley, April 27th, Teen Challenge of Brooklyn 5K, Prospect Park, Brooklyn, NY

7. Charlotte Cutler, May 16th, JP Morgan Chase Corporate Challenge, Central Park, NYC, NY

8. Zeb Nelessen, May 18th, Pine Barrens Sprint Distance Triathlon, Shamong, NJ

9. Toby Tanser, May 19th, Home Depot Mid-May Classic, Fairfield, CT

10. Toby Tanser, May 21st, Carey Wall Street Rat Race, New York City, NY

11. Lauren Eckhart, June 2nd, Du West Duathlon, Farmingdale, Long Island, NY

12. Alan Ruben, June 12th, Viacom Museum Run, Central Park, NYC, NY

13. Armando Oliveira, June 13th, VCTC Cross-Country Summer Series #2, Van Cortlandt Park, NYC, NY

14. Naomi Reynolds, June 13th, VCTC Cross-Country Summer Series #2, Van Cortlandt Park, NYC, NY

15. Sylvie Burlot, June 22nd, Highland Triathlon, Yulan, NY

16. Naomi Reynolds, June 27th, VCTC Cross-Country Summer Series #3, Van Cortlandt Park, NYC, NY

17. Kate Crowley, July 7th, A Day At The Beach 5K, Kennebunk Beach, ME

18. Naomi Reynolds, July 11th, VCTC Cross-Country Summer Series #4, Van Cortlandt Park, NYC, NY

19. Toby Tanser, July 23rd, Tavern On The Green Breakfast Run, Central Park, NYC, NY

20. Naomi Reynolds, July 25th, VCTC Cross-Country Summer Series #5, Van Cortlandt Park, NYC, NY

21. Steven Paddock, August 3rd, Hampton Race Festival 5K, East Quogue Village, Southampton, Long Island, NY

22. Adam Newman, August 4th, Turning Point 5K, Schuylerville, NY

23. Naomi Reynolds, August 8th, VCTC Cross-Country Summer Series #6, Van Cortlandt Park, NYC, NY

• PEOPLE'S BEACH TO BEACON 10K PHOTOS:  Once again, the incomparable Alison Wade has wonderful photos on fast-women.com: 
  - Margaret Angell
  - Alison Rosenthal 
  - Kate Crowley
   
• ROAD/TRAIL RUNNING ETIQUETTE:  Here is a reminder in our e-mailbox: "Hey you guys are well respected runners. When using the bridal path in Central Park, please use trail ettiquette.  Keep to the right in any direction. Try not to take up the whole trail as a group.  Pass on the left from behind. keep dogs on leashes and no headphones for safety sake! It is much like being on the road.  Remember, to the right>>>>>.  Thanks."
   
  We don't know if this email was triggered by a specific incident which may or may not involve our team members.  No matter, for the issue is about commonsense, courtesy and safety.  To the extent that we think that the East River Park soccer players were inconsiderate and reckless, we must be prepared to scrutinise ourselves.  For example, at the road workout last week, was there any reason why the whole group should take up the whole roadway while they drink water at the southern pumphouse fountain?  The dictum is simply, Don't do unto others what you would not want them to do unto you. 
    
• THE JACK BRENNAN FUND:  The Central Park Track Club is pleased to be making a $500 donation to this fund to help keep alive the memory of Jack, who was such a wonderful presence on the Central Park Track Club for thirty years. This donation is being made on behalf of all of our members, but of course does not preclude individual members from making their own contributions to this worthy cause.  CPTC members and others can make contributions of any size to: The Jack Brennan Fund, c/o the Westchester Community Foundation, 470 Mamaroneck Avenue, Suite 304, White Plains, New York 10605.  
   
• POLAR HEART RATE MONITORS:  This reminder comes from G'mo Rojas: NYRR members get 10% off Polar Heart Rate Monitors, the HRMs are being sold at the NYRR Running Gallery (9 East 89th Street) and online at www.nyrrc.org.  It's very hard to find these at any discount, so if you're interested the time is right to finally buy one.
    
• COFFEE STORIES:  We observed that the latest batch of books sold through our Amazon.com consisted of eight books about the subject of coffee.  This purchase has to do with our other connection and nothing to do with the Central Park Track Club.  Nevertheless, we can say that we do have some coffee aficionados on our team.  Listen to these sage words from famous Central Park Track Club people about coffee and body weight:
     
      Steven Paddock: "I get up at 6am, I drink a cup of coffee and I lose half a pound of weight shortly afterwards."
      Toby Tanser: "By 8am, I will have finished my third cup of coffee and gained a pound in weight."
     
  A more interesting story is about the fight between a small independent coffee shop operator named Samantha Bucks and the corporate monster known as Starbucks.  Apparent, Starbucks is taking exception to Sam Buck's coffee shop and its lawyers have served her with a cease-and-desist order because of the potential damage from the brand confusion.  Okay, apart from the coffee theme, why are we so interested in this story?  This entails a short digression (Ah, yes, of course!  you can see this coming from a mile away ...).
    
  For a long time, we have been known to have a very low rest pulse (in the 30's).  The last time that we took a blood pressure test, the technician could not hear anything and asked us to say something to make sure that we were alive (he he he).  So for the sake of our health and well-being, we actually look for things that would raise our blood pressure to assure ourselves that we are indeed alive.  And this Starbucks response is just the stuff that would make our blood boil.

Thank you for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company with your feedback regarding the recent cease and desist letter delivered to Sambucks Coffee. We sincerely appreciate your comments regarding this issue.  As a trademark owner, Starbucks has a legal obligation to enforce our rights when we believe another is being infringing or dilutive. We also have an obligation to our customers and shareholders to protect and grow our brand. When others trade on the goodwill of Starbucks, it dilutes the brand for our customers. While we certainly do not take pleasure in enforcement, it is our legal obligation to ensure the protection of our brand. In no way was our cease and desist letter meant to be threatening, but rather is an attempt to convey the seriousness of the situation. Starbucks always tries to resolve issues in an amicable manner.  It is our hope that this situation will be resolved in an appropriate and timely manner.  Starbucks directs great effort towards AIDS outreach and research, the Arts, Education, Literacy, the Environment, Diversity, and Children's Issues.  To learn more about Starbucks participation in social responsibility, please visit our website at http://www.starbucks.com/aboutus/csr.asp. If you have additional questions or feedback regarding these or any other issues, please feel free to contact us at info@starbucks.com or call 800-235-2883 to speak directly with a Customer Relations representative.  Thank you again for your feedback. Sincerely, Kaitlin, Customer Relations Starbucks Coffee Company.

Have a nice day too, Kaitlin.

• WELCOME NEW MEMBERS:  At the July meeting of the executive board, the following people were accepted as new members:
  - Andrea Costella
  - Laura Ford
  - Nicole Kikoski
  - Bob Lingner
   
• TUESDAY TRACK WORKOUT REPORT: After nine straight days of temperatures well into the 90's, the weather broke today with blue skies, low humidity and temperature in the 80's.  And we believe this pattern will in fact last through the rest of the week.  On this Tuesday, the sprinters and the middle-distance runners are gearing up for the National Masters Championships this weekend, so their formal workout consisted only of strides.  A total of 55 people were counted at the beginning of the workout.
   
  Our regular coach Tony Ruiz is on vacation this week, so there was a slight bit of confusion as one workout was emailed and then superseded by another one.  In point of fact, we are here to run a speed session of about 3 miles, and the actual components may be a matter of indifference.  On this occasion, we saw John Kenney who is doing the "This is the only track workout that I'll need for the Club Championships" thing.  We sure hope so.
    
  Our race winner this weekend was Steven Paddock, who had a good time out in the Hamptons too.  The race was on Saturday, which was an extremely hot and humid day.  Within the first mile, he was already far ahead.  He thought that he was going too fast when in fact he was behind his goal pace (the mythical sub-16 minute 5K).  Although the final mile was slightly downhill, he could not do much in the heat.  Final time was 16:23.  It will have to be another time.
   
  While the workout was going on, there was an impromptu lesson between two timers about the knack of acquiring a British accent.  There was the usual affected pronunciation of words such as tomatoes and potatoes.  Ahem ... we don't think that you understand ... there is no such thing as 'potato' because the proper term is 'spud'!  Anyone who says 'potato' is immediately marked as a foreigner or worse.
   
  Applications were given out at the workout for the Philadelphia Distance Run.  Don't forget that you must turn in your application by this Friday to Alan Ruben if you want to compete as a member of the Central Park Track Club.  Details can be found in the item further down this page.
    
  Anyone who applied for the New York City Marathon but missed out in the lottery, please notify Alan Ruben if you are interested in running.  There may be a slim chance of getting you in, but you definitely won't unless you tell Alan.
   
  Jesse Lansner wonders that with all our obsessions with Australians at the Commonwealth Games, how come we did not mention Ian Thorpe?  That is a curiosity, really.  After all, Ian Thorpe came from the same suburb (Ryde) that we lived in.  But, of course, he was not born yet when we were there.  As for the eternal question as to whether the Commonwealth Games is a major competition, the French word is soi-disant for all the yea-sayers.  Great race for Paula Radcliffe, but we will never know what the sit-and-kick Ethiopians and Romanians might have done because they are not members of the Commonwealth.  
   
  For those of you who were actually at the workout, you must be wondering when we are going to get to the principal story of the evening.  Before we do that, we will recall this journal entry from May 28, 2002:

We train on Tuesdays and Thursdays at the East River Park track.  Today, we had sixty-three people running in four groups in the long distance runners, one group of fourteen middle distance runners and one group of nine sprinters.  Members of the New York Harriers, Millrose and Urban Athletics also used the track, as well as other runners in the community.  This park is a public facility, and is used by runners, soccer players, volleyball players, rugby players, children, etc. 
 
In the infield, which was designed for soccer games, there were two soccer games going on simultaneously.  Each game took up half the field because they were two different teams playing intra-squad games for training.  One team brought their own three-foot tall mini-goals (see that photo) while the other team just placed markers on the ground.  Both teams elected to place their goals on the sidelines in their half of the field, and this has the very unfortunate effect of placing the goals at exactly the spot where the runners start (again, see that photo).  As we noted two weeks ago, the soccer balls were whizzing past by the runners and the timers.  The soccer players were reckless in this regard because this type of set-up was designed for goals to be scored as easy ground-level tap-in's and not as 70 mph Roberto Carlos-style shots intended to fracture goal posts and goalies' jaws; and, of course, they could have placed their goals anywhere other that the spots where the runners congregate.
 
It was under these circumstances that a soccer ball hit the head of one of our runners tonight as she stood on lane three waiting for her group to start.  To our minds, the soccer player who made the shot was reckless because that was a high-velocity shot into a crowd of people.  What was he thinking?  For a moment, our runner actually passed out.  She is a triathlete used to taking lumps, but there may not be any real training for getting hit in the head.  She was alright afterwards, with the icepack from Frank Handelman coming in quite handy.  We prefer not to publish her name here, but we will say that it was not Shelley Farmer who has already paid her dues in her encounter with the unleashed dog in the park ...
 
In the aftermath of the incident, there was a heated discussion about the placement of the goals.  In the end, after some words, those goals were re-oriented so that they appear respectively in the full goalmouth and the center circle and nowhere near any runners.  Someone had to say, "I can't wait to read what the workout report had to say about this tonight!"  Well, you will find no stories of hot Latino temper, steroid rage or whatever it is that you think you want to read about.  We will report on the only thing that matters --- Bola Awofeso's bike is safe and sound!

The two photos below show the placement of the goals, which are right on the start/finish line and the 200m mark respectively.

    
 
By the next session after the May 28th incident, the goals were moved right back to where they were.  The soccer players claimed that they have obtained park permits to play in the soccer field for that time period, and they were therefore entitled to play soccer as they see fit.  Since there was no obvious court of appeal short of calling in the police, the runners thereafter kept wary eyes on the progress of the soccer games as they run. 
 
Unfortunately, a more serious incident took place tonight.  One of our female middle-distance runners was doing strides on the backstraight and was walking towards the water fountain during a break.  She recognized the soccer hazard and deliberately walked on the far side of the track right by the stands as far away as possible (see our diagram below).  At that point, one of the soccer players launched a rocket of a shot that hit the runner.  The ball went straight at her head behind her field of vision, so she was caught completely off guard.  Although she was over 30 feet away, the ball traveled so fast that there was no time for anyone to shout any warning.  She collapsed like a heap under the impact of the shot to her head.  When she came to after several minutes, she exhibited the obvious dazed look of a serious concussion.  An ambulance was called and she went to Beth Israel Hospital in the company of her fiancé.  She was released that night and is recuperating at home.  She will probably miss the National Masters Championships this weekend.
 

 
What did the soccer players have to say?  They shrugged their shoulders and said, "It happens."
 
The point about our previous journal entry was NOT about denying their right to play soccer.  They have properly applied for a permit and they were entitled to play soccer.  But entitlement also means that they have to act in a manner that is not recklessly endangering public safety.  The technical definition of 'reckless endangerment' is 'subjecting others to danger by recklessly engaging in conduct that creates substantial risk of serious physical injury.'  Here is a list of other publicly permitted activities for which reasonable and rseponsible behavior is expected

(1)  Baseball/softball --- If you properly apply for a park permit, you are entitled to play baseball/softball in the assigned area during the assigned time period.  Such is the case for our friendly softball game with the Greater New York Running Team on the afternoon of the Club Championships.  But you are not entitled to throw your ball at the batter and catcher without a backstop while pedestrians are passing through behind them  This is because a wild pitch, passed ball or foul ball can be extremely dangerous.  If you injure someone in that circumstance, you are acting recklessly because the dangers ought to be evident.
 
(2)  Cycling --- Bicycles are permitted inside Central Park.  But you are not entitled to go through the Central Park roadways at breakneck speed, especially uncontrollably downhill, because you are endangering public safety (including your own).  And you are not entitled to zip through the trails (e.g. the bridal path) on mountain bikes at high speeds because you are endangering runners, joggers, walkers, tourists, horseback riders, dog walkers and so on.  If you injure someone in those circumstances, you are acting recklessly because the dangers ought to be evident.
 
(3)  Swimming --- If you pay to use a swimming pool facility, you are entitled to swim during certain periods but under certain restrictions.  For example, swimmers may be divided into lanes based upon their speed and they are also required to swim up and down always on the right hand side of the lane.  Diving is also not allowed while there are swimmers in the water.  If you hit someone when you dive into the pool, you are acting recklessly because the dangers ought to be evident.
 
And we can go on to discuss rollerblading, snowskiing, horseback riding, golf, hunting, snowmobiles, jetskis, surfing, driving on the Long Island Expressway, unsafe sex, toxic waste dumping, and a million other things on the same grounds.
  
We do not contest the fact that the soccer players are entitled to play soccer in that area.  But they are not entitled to act recklessly.  Over the course of the last few months before today, there have been plenty of near misses, some light hits and we have personally witnessed one heavy direct hit on May 28th.  The dangers of taking these high-velocity shots at a tiny goal ought to be evident, because most of these shots will miss the goal and land near and sometimes right at unwary people, including runners, walkers, soccer players, rugby players, spectators and small children.  To repeat this behavior over and over again is reckless endangerment (='subjecting others to danger by recklessly engaging in conduct that creates substantial risk of serious physical injury').
 
It does not have to be this way.  We have never had any real problems with the soccer players in the area marked as "Soccer Game #3" in the diagram.  Why not?  Because they recognized that this setup is for a game of short passes where they score goals on short tap-ins, and that those 50 mph shots have no place in these circumstances.  Is that so hard to understand?

• HOW HIGH CAN STEVEN PADDOCK JUMP?  Actually, we don't know the answer to that question.  And we don't want to ask him because he just might want to try high-jumping too.  But on the basis of this photo, we estimate that Steven can reach at least 9 feet.
   
• 50at50 RUN:  From Central Park Track Club team member Bob Vogel: "The reason I am writing is that I am doing a solo fundraising run on September 2nd for a place called The Children's Inn at the National Institutes of Health.  A large part of my time has been spent at the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda (MD) where my younger son receives treatment for a very rare genetic immune deficiency. I have set up a website ( www.50at50run.com ) to explain what this is all about.  It would be great if the Central Park Track Club and others could support my efforts."  P.S.  The Vogels' story has also been excerpted at Famous Sayings #1430 on our website.
   
• PHILADELPHIA DISTANCE RUN - SUNDAY, SEPT 14TH: This fast Fall half-marathon is a traditional team race for our club. Anyone wishing to run for CPTC in this race needs to send a check for $30 payable to 'Run Philadelphia Festival of Races' together with a completed application form to Alan Ruben, 801 West End Avenue, Apt 5E, NY 10025 to be received by this Friday. Alan Ruben will be distributing application forms at this week's Tuesday and Thursday night workouts or they can be downloaded using this link http://www.doitsports.com/graphics/pdr/IndivEntryFormNew.pdf.
    
• SATURDAY, AUGUST 10TH NYC MARATHON LONG TRAINING RUN: The New York Flyers are looking for volunteers to pace the faster groups, particularly the 7 minute and 7:30 pace groups at this Saturday's NYRR sponsored NYC Marathon long training run.  You do not have to run all 20 miles.  Please contact Anne Halpern at anne_halpern@yahoo.com if you are interested.
   
• 5th ANNUAL COVENANT HOUSE FUN RUN:  From Kerry Rood: "We at Covenant House, a non-profit agency for homeless and at-risk youth, will be holding our 5th annual Fun Run on Sat., Sept. 14, in Prospect Park.  Here are the details:

  COVENANT HOUSE 5th ANNUAL FUN RUN, approx. 3.4 miles
  Sat, Sept. 14, 10 a.m. (junior races begin at 9:30 am)
  Prospect Park, Brooklyn (Bartel-Pritchard Circle)

  Minimum sponsorship (includes T-shirt): $15 on or before Sept. 2; $20 after Sept. 2
  Check in: Thurs and Fri, Sept 12 and 13, Noon to 4 p.m. at Covenant House, 460 W. 41st St., NY.
  Sat, Sept 14, 8:30-9:30 a.m. at the race area 
  Race awards go to top 3 Overall for Males and Females,Top 3 Under 21 and Top 3 for age category.
   
  For more information, call Diana Holmes at 212-613-0332, email dholmes@covenanthouse.org  or visit www.covenanthouseny.org .
   

• RUN ACROSS AMERICA:  From Central Park Track Club member Chele Modica: "I thought this would be an interesting site to share with the club via the website. http://www.runacrossamerica2002.com/   On August 24th these guys finish up in Central Park, and I hope to be able to cheer them on - they must be made of titanium!"