EQUIPMENT

Each photo shows a piece of equipment that was used by a member of the Central Park Track Club.  You are supposed to figure out what the equipment was being used for.  Obviously, given that we documented it, the application is often unusual and surprising.  We help you by showing you four multiple choices, one of which is the correct answer.  The correct answers appear at the bottom of the page.

(1)  Description: A slip of paper held in the hand of a racer
      (a) A good luck lottery ticket for that Saturday evening's $82 million draw
      (b) Emergency equipment otherwise not available in the bushes
      (c) A list of split times for the projected race pace to make sure that everything goes according to plan
      (d) The name and contact information of the next-of-kin if the race should go badly

(2)  Description: A bagel is resting on an orange-gloved hand
      (a)  This sesame bagel was imported from Holland
      (b) "I took one bite (see bottom right corner of the bagel) and I don't like it.  But you can have the rest of it."
      (c) "I don't why you want me to hold this, but I'll do anything for a photo op."
      (d)  A special incentive to get Toby Tanser to win that scoring race (note: Carrots don't interest him (because they are orange-colored), and he already represents The Stick (TM))

(3)  Description:  Triathlete Michael Trunkes is inspecting a spray can in his hand
      (a) This new sunscreen has a sun protection factor (SPF) of 1,000 
      (b) It is astonishing that there is now an aerosol spray version of Spam (TM) luncheon meat
      (c) Non-stick vegetable oil works just as well as good old Vaseline to reduce chafing
      (d) The ozone hole over the Antartica is getting bigger day by day on account of this gadget

(4)  Description: A cardboard-box was observed to be scooting around on a pair of shoes with blinking red lights attached to them.  Knock, knock, who's there?
     (a)  It Came From Outer Space
     (b) The Thing
     (c)  Godzilla
     (d)  The Monster From The Black Parlor

(5)  Description:  A man is using a knife to cut up a t-shirt
      (a) Jean-Luc Godard was having his second nasty breakup with Anna Karina, whereupon he slashed all her clothing
      (b) Yet another brand new race t-shirt is being turned into ragcloth
      (c) Cutting out the collar and the two sleeves will result in 1.872 ounces less in weight to carry
      (d) The Made-In-Indonesia label is being excised because sweatshop practice can never be endorsed in any way, shape or form

(6)  Description:  Two runners stand in front of a yellow-edged netting at the edge of a soccer field.  What is the netting for?
      (a) To keep the mosquitoes out
      (b) To hold up the pile of bicycles and backpacks
      (c) To serve as a miniaturized soccer goal in this half-field game
      (d) To serve as a beacon against which to direct whizzing shots at the heads of the runners who are congregating around their start line 

(7)  Description:  This pair of black rubber running spikes was meant to assist someone in a race on snow-covered road.  What is the nationality of the person who thought that this might help him?
      (a) Australia
      (b) Norway
      (c) Canada
      (d) Puerto Rico

(8)  Description: A famous long-distance runner stands in front of a mountain bike and wears a helmet, at the end of finish of a running race
      (a) "After this twenty-mile race, I'm going to need a bike to make it home."
      (b) "This is really not my bike and I'm just looking after it for somone.  You didn't think I would take up biking, did you?"
      (c) "How else am I going to take race photographs on the east, west, north and south sides of the park?"
      (d) "I ride this mountain bike on the park trails precisely because it is illegal to do so."

(9)  Description:  A male model poses in an orange-colored t-shirt with various markings on it
     (a) This man is from Holland.  Hup Holland!
     (b) This man is from the Netherlands.  Hup Holland!
     (c) This man is a Canadian who wears the maple leaf with pride
     (d) This man is a walking billboard for the Central Park Track Club website (see the URL www.centralparktc.org on his left sleeve).

ANSWERS

1 (c)  Alayne Adams' personalized race pace chart pinned to her clothing during the 2002 Allure Mother's Day Half Marathon.  (d) would have been handy too when she ran her marathon PR of 2:48:56 in 1996 at Boston (note: if you want the whole story, please ask her yourself because print does not convey her experssiveness).

2 (c)  Audrey Kingsley  is always cooperative.

3 (c)  At least, we think that this is what it is for.  (d) is far from being scientifically proven with certainty.

          Pam Cooking Spray

4 (d)  Joey Ruben was seeking diversion at the post-Snowflake party down at The Parlor.  What else was he going to do?  Talk to the adults about running?

5 (c)  Not completely correct, because we are guessing at the weight size, but you can check with Stuart Calderwood for the exact amounts.  You can also ask him about the savings from surgically excising the Nike swooshes on your shoes.  
 
The bigger question is, "Who is Jean-Luc Godard and why is he being mentioned here?"  If you don't know who he is, you can look him up at Google.com.  We will only say that this website could not have existed but for his oeuvres.  Why do you think that you can read Anna Akhmatova, W.H. Auden, Louis Aragon, Ingeborg Bachman, Charles Baudelaire, Natalia Ginzburg, Susan Sontag and so on on this website?

6 (d)  Even though (c) is the theoretical purpose, the empirically observed behavior matches (d) more closely.

7 (a)  Jerome O'Shaughnessy at the 2002 Chicken Soup Loop.  Not a Norwegian because they would have used cross-country skis instead.  Not a Canadian for sure, because we know that they can run on ice by birthright.  Not a Puerto Rican, because they don't know anything about snow there.
Correction by Shula Sarner: "Of course, you do know that Jerome O'shaughnessy doesn't possess Australian nationality. He is of course British or Irish, depending on who's winning the rugby. Otherwise, how would he know about snow?!"  Technical fact:  All Irish people are automatically Australian, and all British people are automatically non-Australian.

8 (b) Or at least that was what Audrey Kingsley said, and we tend to believe her in this instance.  (a) is out of the question, because the jog home would have been woth 1.47 miles in the logbook and therefore impossible to refuse under any circumstances.

9 (d)  Bill Haskins in his official Central Park Track Club t-shirt.  This assertion is actually not entirely true, because there is the other side of the story --- the Central Park Track Club website is the live 24/7 advertisement for the team.  Instead of draw people's attention to that URL, it is more likely that the whole world already knows about the website and the only new fact is that this person belongs to that club with that website.  This is called co-branding.