This page is intended to immortalize the words of Central Park Track Club people. As is customary for this web site, everything is supported by factual details (dates, places, witnesses, photographs, audio-visual clips, etc.). This page will grow over time, but obviously that will depend on your contribution of new stories.

#1200.  WHO:  Alayne Adams
SUBJECT:  Joe Kleinerman 10K
WHAT SHE SAID:  "I thought I was having a good race, until I saw that photo of me --- I look like I was dying!"

#1199.  WHO:  Isaya Okwiya
WHEN:  Joe Kleinerman 10K
SUBJECT:  Why he hid behind a tree to avoid being caught in this photo
WHAT HE SAID:  "Back home, we believe that one loses part of his/her spirit with every photograph - no kidding."

#1198.  QUESTION: Where's Waldo?
SUBJECT:  The Central Park Track Club annual awards party invitation
HISTORY LESSONS:  So far, the only omission in the 2000 edition was the street address of the Godard Riverside Community Center --- 595 Columbus Avenue (at W88th Street).  In years past, there have some major errors --- including relocating the party from East Village to the Upper West Side (or was it the other way around?) and putting it on a Friday instead of a Saturday (but you can't complain about the graphic designer who actually showed up on Friday at a quite empty church).

#1197.  WHO:  Tony Ruiz
WHEN:  December 12, 2000
WHERE:  Armory Track 
WHAT HE SAID:  "It seemed that every time that I am about to begin to describe the workout, that voice comes over the P.A. system to drown me out."

#1196.  WHO:  Stuart Calderwood
WHEN:  December 12, 2000
WHAT HE SAID:  "I was reading the latest issue of Running Times, and I came to an article about the Twin City Marathon.  The article began at the bottom of the page and talked about Central Park (New York) and a New Yorker Gillian Horowitz.  I followed the article to the top of the following page, where the writer talked about how he was well-prepared for the cold thirty degree weather since he was a Canadian.  I thought, my teammate Craig Chilton is Canadian and he was in that race.  Then my eyes went to the byline at the end of the article and ... sure enough, I saw 'By Craig Chilton'!  Well, I can claim to the website that I scooped that one!"

#1195.  WHO:  Kim Mannen
WHEN:  December 12, 2000
WHAT SHE SAID:  "I was walking down the street today when I felt someone reaching into the bottom of my big bag.  I looked and saw that this man had fished out my wallet and then he was running down the street.  So I gave chase even though I was carrying a big bag.  I was shouting, 'Stop that man!  He's got my wallet!'  Nobody helped me --- all they did was to make way for us.  I caught up to the man, grabbed his back and wrestled my wallet back while screaming, "Gimme my wallet!  Gimme my wallet!"  Afterwards, when I got back into the subway, I thought, 'I must be insane.  That man was at least 6'2" tall!'"
COMMENT #1:  Knowing that you have blistering 800m speed is a great confidence booster, although that may lead you to make some extraordinary choices.
COMMENT #2 (from the self-appointed historian):  This is not the first time that Kim Mannen has taken on someone that big ... do you remember the previous occasion?  Tsk, tsk, tsk ... check out the Snowflake 2000 coverage!

#1194.  WHO:  Michele Tagliati
WHAT HE SAID:  "Did you know that two of the best bakers in the City, Adam Riess (City Bakery) and Noel Comess (Tom Cat) run for the CPTC? No wonder Toby Tanser joined the club ..."

#1193.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
WHEN:  December 10, 2000 after the Joe Kleinerman 10K
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Unfortunately I had a photgraphic disaster day. I was out there trying to snap shots of the Central Park Track Club webmaster but mysteriously the camera had a blackout, only to start working again when I returned home. Wonders will never cease!"

EXPLANATION:  Toby Tanser was taking the photos to enter the prestigious Rob Zand photo competition (see #1177 below).  Apparently, Toby had discovered what the grand prize was, and it would really mean more for him than anyone else to win it.

COMMENT:  We are quite confused --- the vampire legend says that you can't see him in the mirror (which is what the camera lens is), but it also says that he doesn't come out in the sunlight.  
COMMENT TO THE COMMENT: Margaret Schotte reports: "Last Saturday, when it was really cold outside, I was hurrying towards the 14th Street and First Avenue L subway station around midnight.  Suddenly, I saw someone in orange doing his hard running at midnight in the cold on the street.  When I saw who it was, I ducked quickly into the subway because I did not want to be seen and reported ..."

#1192.  WHO: The unnamed subject in the 12/7/2000 road workout report: "Since there were still cars in the park, the bicyclists were --- it must be shocking to learn --- racing in the bicycle paths.  So please stay to the runner's lane on the inside of the road.  In addition to menaces on wheels, we would also urge you to pay attention to menacing runners.  On this evening, our membership secretary got into a shuffling match with some runner who wouldn't yield the right of way simply because he speaks with a French accent.  We tried calling for police assistance, but they must have been too busy enforcing the public urination ordinance.  This was not the first time that this confrontation occurred, although the last time the other party menaced our membership secretary from a bike."
WHAT HE WROTE:  "You are a liar !! You knew what really happened! I am creating my own website to tell the TRUTH, the REAL TRUTH."

X-FILES SLOGAN:  "The truth is out there."  (Technical note:  Each click on this link will generate $0.02 in referral fee)

#1191.  WHO:  Ross Galitsky
SUBJECT:  His support crew at the Odyssey Triple Ironman Triathlon, 2000
WHAT HE SAID:  "My plans for a 'professional' race support crew failed.  I will have to tap into circle of my friends and training partners and hope they remain friends after the race ..."

#1190.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
SUBJECT:  The proper definition of Tobyness (aka Tanserism) in defense against malapropisms
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Recently, on another web site, someone described their girlfriend as being 'Tobylike' for certain types of running behavior. Well, off the top of my metal-plated head, here are five moments of Tobyisms:

#1. Running with one bare foot for two weeks in the January snow in Sweden with a stress fracture. The rationale: I had an injury whose pain lessened when I used ice.  So I thought if I ran barefoot in the snow, then my foot would be totally "iced." The result: After 2 weeks I had a reputation as a madman and an injury that had neither worsened or improved.  I took off for the south of Spain where there was a lack of snow.

#2. Running the Icelandic Cross Country Championships with a broken ankle. The rationale: I was undefeated that season and had a light cast. The result: I did not tell anyone, ran slowly with everyone scared to overtake me, and managed to score a win.

#3. Running a 50-km time trial two days before the Swedish National XC championships. The rationale: My self-constructed program called for such a run. The result: Faded badly in the race and finished 6th, and as I was our third team scorer we won the National Championships.

#4. Running two Marathons in 1-week. The rationale: I had run a Marathon in Turkey and was on my way home when I took a detour to visit a friend in Finland. There happened to be a marathon then so I thought, "Why not?" The result: I won due to not being able to go out too fast in the early stages. Postscript, I have not learnt - within one month of the completion of the 2000 New York City Marathon I ran 6 races ( 2 x 15km, 3 x 5-milers + 1 x 5km XC).

#5. Trying to stick with World record holder Haile Gebrselassie in an IAAF World Cross Country race after a 8-week layoff from injury. The rationale: I felt good that morning at breakfast. The result: Painful.

A Bonus #6. Being blown into the North Atlantic Ocean. The rationale: I was watching a video when there was a power cut in Iceland. An emergency warning was sent over the radio to warn everyone to stay indoors as there was a horrendous storm that was flipping buses and causing havoc. The result: Bored sitting in a house with no electricity, I decided to go for a run. I ran down in the town center but had to dodge too many flying roof tiles, so I thought "Why not run by the sea?" As I was running along the coast line a huge gale picked me up and deposited me in the sea, I had a brief pause en route but landed on ice that furthered my momentum and direction into the ocean. Once dropped in the sea, I decided to run there as the extra 'weight' around my feet would stop me being blown elsewhere. I completed my 10-mile run."

QUESTION:  So ... are you Tobylike? or Tanseresque?

#1189.  WHO:  Betty Marolla
SUBJECT:  George Wisniewski
WHAT SHE WROTE:  "I came around the second corner and saw George, standing there at the corner, like a vulture, and he said to me words of great encouragement: 'Find your form.'  I didn't know where I left it, but there was no chance I was going to find it again."

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

Please note that beginning this Sunday, December 10th, at the Joe Kleinerman 10K, the New York City Parks Department will be strictly enforcing the "No Public Urination" Law in Central Park.

For this and future races, please arrive prepared or leave yourself enough time to use the Portable Toilets available at the start/finish of the race. Do not be dismayed, these lines look longer than they are and a short wait on line is certainly preferable to a punitive summons and fine. (Both costly and embarrassing!)

Apparently this law has been disregarded and as recreaters and appreciators, it is our responsibility to keep Central Park as pristine as possible.

Thank you for your cooperation.

New York Road Runners Club

#1188.  WHO:  Rob Zand  
WHEN:  December 5, 2000, just before the Joe Kleinerman 10K
WHAT HE WROTE:  "The NYRRC site has posted a notice to the general effect that with crime down in the city, the NYPD is a little under-worked.  As a result they will be strictly enforcing public urination ordinances at Central Park for this weekend's race.  Personally, the current weather militates against my urge to go outside; however, for our more hardy souls, please take note.  As the esteemed professor, Mitchell Moss, would say, this is a clear indicator that the city is doing well."  This has been another community service announcement from your favorite website.

#1187.  WHO:  Jeff English
WHEN:  Just moments before the start of the 1994 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE READ IN A FORTUNE COOKIE:  "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

#1186.  WHO:  Michele Tagliati
WHEN: December 7th road workout, when cars were still speeding through the 72nd street transverse
TO WHOM:  Tony Ruiz, who had asked "When will the cars stop coming through here?" while expecting an answer like "Seven p.m."
WHAT HE SAID: "Next year."

#1185.  WHO:  Tony Ruiz
WHEN:  December 5, 2000
WHERE:  The Armory workout
WHAT HE SAID:  "If Tom Phillips is coming back to run, then it must be time for me to get race fit again."

#1184.  WHO:  Herbie Medina (Millrose)
WHEN:  December 5, 2000
WHERE:  The Armory
WHAT HE SAID:  "You guys have the best website.  I go there all the time."

#1183.  WHO:  John Megaw
WHEN:  December 5, 2000, first indoor track workout
WHAT HE SAID:  "It is so much easier to be a timer than a runner.  You can quote me on that."
COMMENT:  The first sentence is common knowledge.  The second sentence is rarely ever heard.

#1182a.  WHO:  Jonathan Federman
WHEN:  December 2, 2000
SUBJECT:  His reaction to seeing his race result for the Brian's Run 5K (West Chester, Pennsylvania) posted on this website
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Congratulations, you are faster on the computer than I am. The race did not have overall results available after the race, and the website was not updated when I checked.  As always, you are the greatest!!  By the way, I will be doing another 5K next week, let us see how good you are."

#1183b.  WHO:  Josh Friedman
WHEN:  December 2, 2000
SUBJECT:  His reaction to seeing his race result for the Towson YMCA Turkey Trok 5K (Baltimore, Maryland) posted on this website
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Wow.... And I thought I spent a lot of time on the internet. What's your secret?"
COMMENT:  We were actually hunting for Eric Aldrich (who raced in Baltimore the past two years around Thanksgiving) and you were collateral damage.

#1183c.  WHO:  Joan Devon (yes, that's what it says ...)
WHEN:  December 2, 2000
SUBJECT:  Her reaction to seeing her race result for the Northeastern University Husky Track & Field Festival posted on this website
WHAT SHE SAID: "..."

#1182.  WHO:  Michele Tagliati
SUBJECT:  Hot Chocolate 15K, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Guess what? My 15K time today (58:39 ... I don't know why but I like the "net" time better) was a P.R! To be honest, it was my first 15K ever, so I would have set a PR even if I walked the all way. However, to be fair, my mile pace (6:17) is way better than anything I did before on the 10 miles (best 6:40, pre-CPTC era ...) or half-marathon (6:21 last October in Staten Island).  So, I guess it's a real P.R. after all!"

COMMENT:  Not everyone loves a P.R. over a new distance (counterexample: 1997 Norway Run)

#1181.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
SUBJECT: FEATHERED FRIEND
BACKGROUND:  Winter has finally arrived, more or less.  But that has not deterred our frequent racing friend Toby Tanser from running in just his Fila single and shorts in the cold.  Is it really true that Icelanders are cold-blooded animals?  Well, Toby 'The Climber' Tanser was smart enough to have purchased a Feathered Friend baffled down body suit for the very low price of $800 in Norway.
WHAT Toby WROTE:  "Absolutely the best, top-line warmth for those needing total insulation. By far the most sought after clothing in the pack, people would kill for this suit. The difference between misery and comfort in the cold climes."

COMMENT:  Can you imagine Toby running a race in that thing?
COMMENT from Toby:  The Russians have a saying, "There's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes."

Central Park, New York City

Victoria Embankment, London

#1180.  WHO:  Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt
SUBJECT:  Her needles
Our teammate Paul Stuart-Smith is apparently running well in London town, especially in those races organized by the Serpentine Running Club.  That particular club has a very good website, although the British reticence makes it much less personal and aggressive than the Central Park Track Club.  Whereas our workout descriptions resemble social gossip columns, theirs are very precise descriptions of fixed routes through London.  In tracing one of their serpentine running routes through London, we realized that our two clubs share something in common in that we both run past a Cleopatra's Needle.

According to the history books, "Cleopatra's Needles" is the name given to two Egyptian obelisks from Alexandria (Egypt).  Today, one of the Cleopatra's Needles is in New York and the other one is in London. The obelisks are made of the rosered granite of Syene and are almost 70' in height.  They were originally erected by the Egyptian king Thothmes III in front of the great temple of Heliopolis around 1500 B.C.  The London obelisk was a gift from the Viceroy of Egypt to the British people in 1819 in recognition of Nelson's victory over the French fleet at the Battle of the Nile in 1798 but it took until 1879 before the monument was erected at its present location on the Victoria Embankment right by the Thames River.  The New York City obelisk was presented as a gift to America in 1881 by the Rhedive of Egypt in the hope of stimulating economic investment in his country, and it took four months to move the obelisk from the Hudson River dock to its present location inside Central Park.  The name Cleopatra's Needle is in fact a romantic invention simply because that queen is well-known to us via the likes of William Shakespeare and Elizabeth Taylor, as the obelisks are not connected to her at all.

#1179.  WHO:  Rob Zand
SITUATION:  Poor graduate student receives a club party invitation with a high admission fee
WHAT HE WROTE:  "For those of you who ride the 'A' train, I will be selling batteries over the next two weeks so I can pay for the Christmas party.  Please look for me, and as always, thank you for your support."
HINT:  Try playing the harmonica at Union Square Station instead ... business seems to be booming there.  P.S.  How about a duet session with Toby Tanser, the renowned (and impoverished) flamenco guitar player?

#1178.  WHO: Toby Tanser
BACKGROUND:  This website is famous for the large number of photographs.  However, due to the work of one individual, this website has also earned the reputation of over-emphasizing photos of people in various positions of discomfiture.  So now Toby has risen to correct the perception and present us with a more balanced portfolio ...
WHAT HE WROTE:  "In accordance with the theme that makes me the diverse photographer in the Central Park Track Club, here is a snapshot of Beth Shields of the New York Harriers at the 2000 Prospect Park Turkey Trot."

#1177.  WHO:  Rob Zand
WHEN:  November 25, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE: "This site (namely, the "Rob Zand" site) is actively soliciting photos of roland.    Prizes to be awarded (after Snowflake?) in the following categories: artistic merit, best action shot, and caught red-handed.  Submissions can be made by e-mail.  If you do not have access to a digital camera or scanner, you can send photos to the snail mail address on the website.  Please indicate the category you have entered.  All submissions will be posted.  Good luck."

#1176.  WHO:  Peter Gambaccini / Toby Tanser
WHERE:  Runner's World Online
WHEN: November 27, 2000

Toby Tanser by Peter Gambaccini

Toby Tanser was named the elite 2000 PHS Health Plans Comeback Runner of The Year for overcoming adversity to run in the New York City Marathon. Tanser, who completed November 5's race in 2:26:57 for 31st place, had been attacked by two men with a machete and a heavy club on a Zanzibar beach in late 1999.  He suffered a fractured skull, a badly lacerated wrist, and drastic blood loss. Tanser, 32, was born in England and competed in Iceland and Sweden before moving to New York City.  Most of his personal bests -- 28:45 10-K, 1:03:01 half-marathon, 2:16:07 marathon -- were set in 1997.  He is the author of "Train Hard, Win Easy: The Kenyan Way."

     Runner's World Daily: It seems amazing that you had the strength to get away from the scene of your attack.
     Toby Tanser: I was lucky I was a runner. When I was attacked, I was 2 miles away from where my motorcycle was. There was no one on the beach to help me. I didn't want to actually run, because I felt my blood would pump out because my skull was split. I knew I must be pretty close to losing too much blood. I felt like I wanted to sit down and relax on the beach; you can get sleepy if you get hit on the head. But then I just thought, let me try and run. If I couldn't have, I would have bled to death on the beach.

     RWD: And your recovery was so swift.
     TT: The doctors thought I'd be in the hospital for a minimum of two weeks. But within three days, I was out. They were marveling at the fact that my body was so strong. When I was getting the award, I felt like a bit of a con man, because I have managed to recover in a way that didn't leave me with any bad effects. Except I can't use the fourth finger on my hand very well.

     RWD: Didn't you indicate that as a runner, you can't push as hard now?
     TT: There's this frustrating point where I can see someone in front and think, "Okay, I'll catch up" and I can feel my lungs burning. I don't seem to be able to go beyond that stage anymore. When I run 400s on the track, I can't hurt myself as I used to do.

     RWD: How did your affinity with Kenya begin?
     TT: When I was 7 or 8, my parents' good friends went to live in Kenya and brought me back a rucksack from Eldoret, so I had this fascination with this place called Eldoret even before I became a runner. I started running in my 20s; I was a heavy smoker and drinker and needed a route to good health. I was always trying to find the best people to train with while I was living in Sweden. It seemed the optimal thing to go and train with these guys in Kenya. I went there in '95 for six months. I loved the place; it was so friendly and so nice.

     RWD: There's so much written and said about Kenyan running. What's one essential thing we should understand about it?
     TT: The biggest thing about Kenya's success is lack of distraction. Most of the runners are living in the countryside, up in the hills. There can be 30 or 40 athletes together and the only thing of interest up there is the training session. As soon as you finish one, you're sitting down waiting for the next one. You're able to put so much more into running because it becomes the be-all and the end-all. Here in America you've got the Internet, television, friends calling on the telephone. They're only minor distractions, but they take away from the goal.

     RWD: Is it true that you moved to Sweden in the '90s because you'd become the best runner by far in Iceland?
     TT: No, I went to Sweden purely for women. I went to school in Iceland, and was with a Swedish girl in my 20s and moved to Sweden. In Iceland, the standard of running was very low. I got in a lot of trouble for saying in an interview that I was the best in the country. I don't want to offend the people there, but they don't train very hard. To become the best in the country only takes about six months' dedication. It's not a country very conducive for running. The wind is so strong, the bad weather lasts half a year. It's dark eight months a year.

#1175.  WHO:  Oliver Beltram, Men's Health (Germany)
TO WHOM:  Central Park Track Club website
WHEN: November 10, 2000
SUBJECT:  Media enquiry about running
WHAT HE WROTE: "Hello, I'm working for the German issue of the magazine Men's Health.  I'm trying to get information for an article concerning the most beautiful (or best) running tracks in cities all around the world.  I would be very pleased if you could help me with the following items concerning your city:

• One favourite running track (drawn on a map, with an exact description where to run, including information about the approximate length, the road surface, how to get there by Bus/Underground and interesting sights visible from the track)
   
  Response:  It is a bit unclear whether you are literally speaking of a running track (e.g. indoor or outdoor standard distance track) or a outdoor running route, so we'll cover both
   
  - Favorite running track: The Armory Track & Field Facility
  
  Located on the north side of the island of Manhattan in New York City, this track can be reached by subway routes (#1, #9, A, or C) at the 168th Street Station and then walking one short block west to Fort Washington Avenue. The track is a lightning-fast banked 200m Mondo track built in 1999 and is considered one of the fastest in the country.  This is the host facility to dozens of track meets every year.
   
  - Favorite outdoor running route: The Central Park Reservoir
   
  Central Park is located in the middle of the island of Manhattan in New York City, and consists of 843 acres of land between 59th Street and 110th Street in the north-south direction, and Fifth Avenue and Central Park West in the east-west direction (see any map of Manhattan and you will find a big body of green in the middle). The Park can be easily reached from any midtown location by any number of means (subway, bus, taxi, etc). In the middle of Central Park, there is a small lake known as the Reservoir. The track surrounding the Reservoir is 1.577 miles in distance. The run is serene and pretty along a tree-lined path, and you also have the view of the tall midtown skyscrapers in the background.
   
• Three alternative spots for running (just the name of the street/park/district, incl. how to get there by underground/bus)
    
  (1) Van Cortlandt Park in the Bronx, 1,146 acres of land for cross-country and trail running, reachable by #1/#9 subway (last stop at 242nd Street)
  (2) Prospect Park in Brooklyn, 526 acres of land, reachable by the #2, #3, D, F and Q subway lines.  This park was designed by Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux, the architects of Central Park.
  (3) Manhattan South Seafront, fully encircled by a designated running path next to the water, reachable from anywhere (just head for the water either on the east or west side, and start running south) with wonderful views of the Brooklyn Bridge, Wall Street, Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty and the World Trade Centers.
   
• The best shop for running articles
   
  Paragon Sports, 18th Street and Broadway in Manhattan, has three floors of sporting goods and equipment of all types.  
   
• Two important running events
    
  (1) New York City Marathon (November 4, 2001), one of the top marathons in the world with 30,000+ runners from more than one hundred countries.
  (2) NYRRC Women's Mini-Marathon (June, 2001), a top women-only 10K event with many elite runners running with thousands and thousands of women
   
• Contact number/adresss of a club (or anything else) where runners could meet other runners, maybe incl. meeting point and meeting day/time
   
  Central Park Track Club meets every Tuesday and Thursday all year round, rain, shine, snow or hurricane.  On Thursdays, all comers are welcome to meet at 7pm at the corner of West 72nd Street and West Drive inside Central Park for a 6 mile to 8 mile run.
   
• Some information about the city that might interest runners (e.g. 50,000 square meters of parks, 10,000 miles of running tracks or anything )
   
  (No response was supplied by us --- do we have to explain New York City? (but, if you insist, please read the following text to understand what we are not) 

WHO: Toby Tanser
SUBJECT:  Best running city in the world
WHAT HE WROTE: In a recent Runner's World story, they listed the top 10 American running cities: Boulder, Minneapolis, Colorado Springs, Sacramento, Jacksonville, Eugene, Atlanta, San Luis Obispo, Boston & Tampa. Well, there is of course the saying "One man, one vote," but what? The first three cities are besieged in snow throughout the winter.  Plus in Boulder you have to drive out of the city to get to the good running trails. Minneapolis - okay, the reviewers must have been treadmill freaks because running is a 365 commitment. Colorado Springs is as cold and snowy as Boulder. Ok, Sacramento is good (but better than NY - I think not!).  Jacksonville has the worst car drivers in the US - they literally try to hit you, and all the city's 'known' training runs are on concrete roads (!).  Eugene - we go back to the weather - it rains 80% of the time. Atlanta - are they serious? has anyone tried running in this concrete humid city?  San Luis Obispo - my friend, a 28' 10k American named James Menon, often travels outside of the city limits to train - enough said.  Boston - no Central Park, and as Michelle said "If you live that close to NYC, you might as well live here" and Tampa in 10th place, yeah, has great golf courses.

My question is, "Where was New York and do these guys even run in the cities they review for more than a season?" Stockholm was voted #1 city in the world by some American running magazine --- did the guy try running on  ice in the winter months?  NOT! You simply cannot train without serious physical risk for 3 months of the year in Stockholm!  #1???

COMMENT:  We know why --- it's known in the psychiatric literature as the Stockholm Syndrome.

#1174.  WHO:  Roland Soong
WHAT HE SAID:  "I have been told that this multi-lingual thing on the website is rapidly getting out of control (see #1171, #1172, #1173).  Well, if only you knew what non-runners think when you guys start talking about plantar fasciitis, fartlek, iliotibial band friction syndrome, max VO2, achilles tendonitis, anaerobic threshold,  ..."

#1173.  WHO:  Mindy Solkin, entraîneur en chef d'athlétisme au Reebok Sports Club à New York
WHERE:  RDS.ca
WHEN:  November 1, 2000
SUBJECT:  Canadian Football.  Okay, so maybe it isn't REAL football --- the field is too wide, an illegal twelfth man stays on the field all of the time, the end zone is humongous, the goal posts are wrongly placed on the goal lines, three downs only to make 10 yards, a fair catch in the end zone costs a point known as the rouge instead of a touchback, the referees issue a three-minute warning, the scores are astronomical, migrant worker quotas are enforced, the pay is pitiful ($30,000 per annum for rookies), the weather is frigid, the commentary is in French, and so on, but you had better be fit to play this game.  How to get fit?
WHAT SHE RECOMMENDED:  "Monter les pentes bâtit le genre de résistance que vous obtenez lorsque vous faites des poids et haltères, sauf que vous vous entraînez à l'extérieur. Ne montez pas les pentes tant que vous n'êtes pas encore en forme - établissez une base en courant deux mois sur des surfaces planes.  Montez les pentes comme si vous faisiez des mi-temps. Montez le long de la pente, puis marchez ou redescendez en jogging. Commencez par une pente courte, et allez progressivement vers des pentes plus escarpées."

#1172.  WHO:  Anders Lennart Julin (Eurosport tv commentator)
SUBJECT:  Toby Tanser, at the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE WROTE:  "När jag kommenterade NYCM för svenska Eurosport nämnde jag dig ett par gånger.  Framförallt när du var med i bild ett tag i samband med att du blev upphunnen av den kvinnliga täten strax före Central Park.  Det var visserligen bara en översiktsbild och inga närbilder - men löpstilen gick inte att ta miste på."

COMMENT:  We are sure that you want to know what he is talking about.  On the whole, Toby would probably rather not see this printed (but then again, he might ...).  But, as a multicultural website, we feel that it is important to promote international understanding, so we went to Translation Experts and obtained this machine-translation for you: "Wardrobe to I commented NYCM a prior Swede [Eurosport] was labeling I [dig] a couple alley.  Deliver wardrobe to you each along with a depiction a [tag] a [samband] along with that you stayed [upphunnen] at it female [täten] soon front Central Park.  It was indeed just a [översiktsbild] and [inga] wardrobe-up but [löpstilen] did not go that capture fog at."  This has been a public service from your favorite website.

COMMENT ON THE COMMENT: Toby Tanser wrote: "August Strindberg would have rolled over in his grave at such a translation!"  Well, there are many other things that Strindberg did not like in his lifetime, such as all of his wives (e.g. referring to one wife as "the female spider that devours her mate immediately after the hymeneal embrace") and dog lovers (e.g. "I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.").  P.S.  In the movie Manhattan, Woody Allen said, "Fragen Sie mich nicht um Rat, wenn es um Beziehungen zu Frauen geht - darin habe ich den August-Strindberg-Preis gewonnen."  Oops, we did it again --- sorry, we are a little bit confused about our languages today, so we'll let you listen to Woody's original words.

#1171.  WHO:  Charles Allard
WHEN: November 19, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE: "If I ran a full Marathon and finish in a personal worst, do I still have to tell you about it?"

Response: "Of course, you must.  It is your duty --- unless you want to wait for us to find out and bear the full wrath.  Now, let's see --- it's not the New York City Marathon because none of the spotters saw you, it's not the Philadelphia Marathon because we just checked a minute ago, it's not the Tokyo Marathon because you are not a woman, it's not the Everest Marathon because that doesn't take place until next Tuesday and besides you would be proud with a personal worst on Mount Everest ... so could it be the Chickaumauga Battlefield Marathon in Chattanooga, Tennessee? ..."

The concession speech: "OK OK enough arm twisting! But I am so embarrassed, so maybe you can put it in really really small print. The Watarase Yusuichi Marathon which translated means (roughly) the Wetland Crossing Water Park Marathon was run on November 12th.  Being Japan, they took some wetlands, drained them, and constructed an artificial lake for wind surfers and fishermen. They needed construction jobs apparently.  The top runner finished in 2:35, I in 3:08:13 (official time). 70th out of 2020 runners. I was really hurting at 34k. My official excuse is that I had ten minutes between parking the car, after a two hour car ride, and the start to pick up my number and line up. The highlight of the race was the Tomato Station at about 30k. Yes, you read that correctly, the Tomato Station. They handed out fresh tomatoes to eat. The skin was kinda tough to digest though. The course was OK, two laps over a combination of cement, asphalt, gravel and grass. Charles 'I am still in pain' Allard Jr"

Official propaganda (verbatim):  "Once, Yanaka Village was a small farm village of about 4000 people.  A sudden tragedy attacked the village.  It was the Ashio Mining Pollution Affair.  Cadmium and copper sulphate flowing out from the copper mine damaged the village terribly.  Lots of crops in the fields died and mulberry trees couldn't grow any longer.  People in the village depended on the trees as a source of income.  And some people who ate fish which suffered from mining pollution have died.  Because of this serious fact, inhabitants around here asked the manager of the copper mine to cease the operation.  But the government placed more emphasis on sedimentation of the pollutants than suspending business, and made plans to have a man-made lake in Yanaka Village. And the village of Yanaka was wiped out.

Watarase Yusuichi is an artificial empty region made by evacuating the inhabitants of Yanaka Village.  Now, however, it has been reborn as the precious treasury of nature and the place of recreation and relaxation for people.  On Sundays, Yusuichi is crowded with people who enjoy canoeing , board-sailing and marathon.  The singing of wild birds as blue magpies, pheasants, etc. , can be heard and it has come to be the best place for bird watching."

#1170.  WHO:  Fritz Mueller
WHEN: November 21, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE: "I try to avoid becoming a Central Park Track Club website junkie, but someone suggested to me that as long as I am still honored with a home page, there should be at least one running shot mixed into that Jack Brennan nonsense.  So the pretty photos of all these website Central Park Track Club runners have now inspired me to send you this photo of me taken near the finish line of the 1978 Boston Marathon by a spectator whom I met ten years later by sheer coincidence at a work meeting.  As for the photo itself, nobody looks pretty at that stage of the race; besides, I was in a big hurry at the time."

COMMENT:  Look at that photo carefully --- the uniform was green and white!

#1160.  WHO:  Lucy Yang, reporter for WABC Channel 7 Eyewitness News
WHEN: November 19, 2000
SUBJECT:  Training and equipping EMS technicians to handle severe food allergic reactions
WHAT SHE SAID: "Doctors who treat severe food reactions and patients who suffer from them argue that it will be worth every penny."
TECHNICAL NOTE:  One of the doctors is Alan Bautista, from Our Lady of Mercy Medical Center in the Bronx, getting his six seconds of fame on the air (see Video 2.6 megabytes).

WHAT Alan SAID: "Sorry I didn't wear the orange."
TECHNICAL NOTE:  You wear orange when you are in jail.  You wear green when you are in the hospital.  We don't need you to take that extra step to wear orange ...

#1159. WHO:  dramaqueen2000
WHEN:  November 19, 2000
EMAIL MESSAGE: "Great Web Site!"

#1158.  WHO:  Yves-Marc Courtines
WHEN:  November 19, 2000, one day after the Nyack Hospital 10K race
WHAT HE WROTE:  "How the HELL did you find out so fast?  I woke up this morning to find a congratulatory email from escreamer!!!!  Frankly, I was looking forward to sending you a sly email on Monday with only the word NYACK in the subject -- and trusting your sleuthy skills to quickly find and post the Nyack 10-K results up on the CPTC website.  However, little did I fathom that your sleuthy skills include ESP -- allowing you to know when someone has finished a race even before they've been handed their medal?????  How utterly perplexing!"

COMMENT:  "Dear YMC:  If you are quick enough, you should be able to send a congratulatory email to escreamer before they get home from their USATF National Masters XC Championship races in Holmdel, New Jersey today!"

#1157.  WHO:  Stuart Calderwood / Alston Brown
WHEN:  The first time that they met each other at Van Cortlandt Park
WHAT Stuart SAID: "Alston, you have absolutely the broadest range of distances among people that I know.  You can excel in anything from 400m up to the marathon."
WHAT Alston SAID (with that Jamaican accent): "60 meters.  7.25 seconds."
COMMENT:  Please, don't anyone give him any ideas about ultramarathons ...

#1156.  WHO:  Stéphane Bois
WHAT HE FIRST WROTE: "Don't you think it would be useful to have a section dedicated to comments about places to run outside of New York? It's always a nightmare to find places to run when I travel somewhere. People could make their comments when they travel in the country or even outside."
REPLY: "Temperamentally, it is not well-suited for us to do that because everybody expects us to go out and demolish everything we lay our eyes upon (see our Food Critics).  If we start talking about how great some place is, they will think that we are being sarcastic."

WHAT HE WROTE: "I see.  I don't think people expect you to complain about everything.  They like your sense of humor.  I do too --- except when you make fun of French people ...  P.S. BTW I was thinking that only French people complain all the time."

#1155.  WHO:  Shula Sarner
TO WHOM: Tony Ruiz
SUBJECT:  Incomplete coaching advice for the marathon
WHAT SHE SAID: "You never told me that I would not be able to walk down stairs for the next 3 days."
COMMENT:  Not completely true --- she was able to go down a flight of stairs quickly once during that time.

#1154.  WHO:  Wayne Coffey
ARTICLE:  "His Luck Didn't Run Out: Marathoner Beats Odds"
WHERE: DAILY NEWS, November 7, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE: "Toby Tanser started running when he was 22. He was a two-pack-a-day smoker, and saw a good friend running in a race on TV. A doctor had told him his lungs were in horrific condition. He started to run, and would eventually reach a level approaching world-class."

COMMENT:  Well, we have solid proof that Toby was definitely not a sporty type at age 22.  P.S.  The hair was quite real (and not a wig as you might suppose from famous saying #1118) --- in fact, it was so long that if he tilted his head back, it would be touching his trouser belt.

#1153.  WHO:  Liz Vaccariello
ARTICLE:  "Me? Run A Marathon?"
WHERE Fitness magazine, November 2000 issue
WHAT SHE WROTE: "I took up running in the summer of 1999 as a way to avoid step-class burnout and get myself out of the gym.  Then, one day in November, I saw a flyer posted at work: "Join Team In Training [TNT] ... and run or walk a marathon.  While you train, others gain."  I would need to raise $4,500 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, but in return I 'd get a personal six-month training program, group workouts and the opportunity to choose my race locale from an exotic menu that included San Diego, London, Dublin and beyond.  I signed up to attend an informational meeting --- just to check it out, ask some questions, eat the free cookies.  Somehow, seven months later, I was standing in the starting line of a marathon in Anchorage, Alaska --- overwhelmed with emotion that the 2000 TNT'ers from Georgia to Utah had raised $7.8 million to be there.

DATE: January 19
SUBJECT: I'm Running Too Much
Coach Mindy's mad at me.  I'm running four or five miles, four days a week, when I should be doing two to three miles a week, three days a week.  She says: "Sure, your body can run four miles for now.  But I want you to listen to my 10 years of coaching experience.  You're a beginner.  You should scale back and build up mileage with the schedule.  I've watched too many people pull out of a marathon at the last minute because they overtrained and got hurt."  When I fessed up about my foot pain, I got the world's biggest "I told you so" look.

DATE: March 9
SUBJECT: No More Margaritas
Tonight the team ran five miles in Central Park.  It was a beautiful, warm night but I felt like I was running through Jell-O.  (Could yesterday's margarita-night-out-with-the-girls have anything to do with it?)  The worst part?  I was the last runner.  Mindy says I'm doing just fine --- just slow and steady.  But still.  How embarrassing.

DATE: March 14
SUBJECT: Short Hills Workout
Dare I say? I feel like an athlete.  Tonight, the team ran up and down a very steep short hill about six hundred times while Coach Mindy watched our form --- shoulders down, arms swinging, elbows bend at 90 degrees, jaws relaxed, knees up, stride open.  I felt pretty good --- and this time I wasn't last!  I think it's because I drank about 16 glasses of water today. (Mindy's always stressing hydration).

DATE: June 17
SUBJECT: A Sea of Purple
So, I ran a marathon.  I ran it slowly (five hours, 37 minutes and 33 seconds), but I ran every step of the way.  When I crossed the finish line, I was the 831st woman out of 1,654.  I'd always pictured myself collapsing in a heap of tears and exhaustion at the end of the race.  But my big emotional moments actually occurred during the race itself.  The first happened at mile 17 after those painful miles in the woods when I spotted Coach Mindy, her assistant Erin and Steve, waving their arms and screaming, "Go, Liz.  You look amazing!"  That's when I realized I would finish. 
But mile 25 really got me.  That's when I passed a spectator, a woman in her forties standing by herself, smiling and nodding at each passing runner.  She held a homemade cardboard sign that read, "Leukemia Survivor, Thank You."

It's a long way to Central Park

#1151.  WHO:  Rob Zand SUBJECT:  The cover picture and caption that appeared during the week of the 2000 New York City Marathon WHAT HE WROTE:  "If you were in a remote town outside of London and your only dinner choices were the hotel restaurant or McDonald's, it would be appropriate to say something like 'It's a long way to Central Park'; however, on the eve of the marathon, such rhetoric is totally inappropriate, even in jest.  I hope in the future, especially tomorrow, you will refrain from such hyperbole, whether it is about the distance being covered or the environment in which it is occurring.  For instance, a comment like 'the wind is only blowing 25 mph', would also be quite unsatisfactory.  Comments should be limited to 'you look great', 'keep it up', 'go [insert name here]'.  Thank you for your support."

#1150.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
SUBJECT:  Confessions of a New York City Marathon rookie
WHAT HE WROTE: "I have run races in Asia, Europe, Africa, South America and, of course, North America but I have never, ever, and never (once more for a symphonious effect) witnessed a happening anywhere like the New York City Marathon--and yes I have run Boston (albeit with the legs of a grasshopper with a sandbag on his back). My goodness, what supportive, kind people this city has!"

#1149.  WHO:  James Siegel
SUBJECT:  The start of the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE SAID:  "I got to the starting line.  Then I looked around and saw that I was standing ahead of Toby Tanser.  Ooops!  Since I didn't think I was going to run 2:20 today, I told him to move in front of him.  When the race began, he was actually trying to secure his shoe lace, starting and stopping several times.  Therefore, for a brief moment at least, I can say that I was ahead of Toby Tanser in this race."

How Toby Tanser described the starting line: "I have been spoiled--ouch! My sympathy goes out to my fellow racers now that I have experienced first-hand how the real runner survives at a mass start. I stood for 50 minutes cram-packed and jam-sandwiched like a toothpick in a peanut butter jar with runners awaiting the start of the Marathon. Bang went my hopes of any pre-race jog, stretch or stride. My legs turned to rocks of ice and my calves cried for a seat.  I take my hat off to all the runners who go through this rigmarole year in and year out. My first miles were spent trying to shake my pins into a forward movement and properly secure my windmill laces.  It is my fault; I was simply not fast enough for the elite start."

#1148.  WHO:  Bola Awofeso
WHEN: November 2000
WHAT HE SAID:  "I would like to run a race on the day that I turn master.  Unfortunately, the listed race is the very difficult Peter McArdle 15K cross country race."

#1147.  WHO:  Craig Chilton
TO WHOM: Tony Ruiz
WHERE:  East 96th Street inside Central Park, 23.5 mile point in the New York City Marathon
WHEN:  November 5th, 2000 during the New York City Marathon, exactly one month after Craig set a personal best of 2:37:44 at the Twin Cities Marathon
WHAT HE SAID: "What am I doing here?"

ADDENDUM:  On this subject, Rob Zand wrote: "I am the angel to Alan Ruben's devil perched on the shoulders of the honorable Craig Chilton. While that venerable sage advises Craig to run a second marathon in less than a months time, I advise restraint."  So was it the marriage of heaven and hell that Craig found at the 23.5 mile mark?

#1146. WHO:  Gordon Streeter
SUBJECT:  2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE SAID:  "I wish our photographers had caught that wonderful sight of the eight of us spread across the road."

#1145.  WHO:  Karen Durbin
ARTICLE: Very Good Will Hunting
WHERE:  Mirabella, May 2000
WHAT SHE WROTE: "People supposedly put off making a will because they don't want to think about death, especially their own.  Call me morbid, but I've never much minded contemplating my inevitable demise (which, since I sometimes travel New York by bike, is a prospect that often floats before my eyes).  I put off making a will for the same reason I bet a lot of people do: I was afraid I wouldn't do it right.

To educate myself, I surfed the Web, pored over various books, and even blew $34.95 on a do-it-yourself "American Legal Will Kit," heavily advertised on local TV.  It was the kit that propelled me to action.  Having read its twenty-seven pages of instructions, including the one that said, in effect, "If this doesn't hold up in court, it's not our fault," I concluded that the old judicial saw was right, after all: She who acts as her own attorney has a fool for a client.  So I set out to hire the real thing.

There is only one sound way to find a good lawyer.  Get personal recommendations from people you trust; interview the candidates; find out what they'll cost you; then pick the one you like the best.  I actually found two I liked best, Anita S. Rosenbloom, a partner in the trusts and estates department of Stroock & Lavan, a large, old, and prestigious white-shoe firm, and Frank Handelman, an independent practitioner with twenty years of experience in the field.  Both lawyers came highly recommended, and both impressed me as particularly smart, personable, and plainspoken, not to mention moral and humane.  So I picked Handelman, because he was cheaper.  Hourly rates at a top-tier firm like Stroock & Stroock can run as high as $550, and even the simplest will won't cost less than four figures.  Handelman's hourly rate runs from $275 to $325, but he charges a more economical flat fee, ranging from $500 to $1,000, to write a fairly basic will like mine.

Handelman describes a will as a singular moment of power:  If there are people you care about, not to mention causes or institutions, a will is a chance to give them a last gift --- almost surely a much greater one than you could afford in your lifetime.  It also spares those who love you unnecessary pain, as well as potential legal and practically hassles.

At our first meeting, Frank Handelman emphasized the importance of feeling comfortable with the lawyer you choose, because, he said, the discussions you have will inevitably touch on sensitive, high personal matters.  Later, I saw what he meant: A will is a series of intimate decisions.  As he helped me to map out the details of what I wanted to do for this friend or that organization, it felt as if I were making a diagram of my head and heart.

#1144.  WHO:  Rob Zand
SUBJECT:  His 2:44:14 PR at the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE SAID:  "On one hand, I know I ought to be happy about setting a PR.  On the other hand, I know and everybody else knows that I could have gone faster."
COMMENT:  This just means that his next marathon will probably be another PR.  Isn't that more fun?  Or else you can consider the case of John Kenney, whose debut marathon time of 2:25 was also a personal record that he was never able to best.

#1143.  WHO:  Larry Thraen
WHEN:  July 25, 2000
WHERE:  New York Times article titled Virus Shuts Central Park 
WHAT WAS WRITTEN: Larry Thraen, 31, who was jogging, said that although he understood the need for officials to be cautious, he wondered whether authorities might be overreacting.  "I've never been bitten by a mosquito here,' he said. "I've never even seen one in New York City."
COMMENT:  You've never seen a mosquito?  After a workout, just hang around the garbage bin at the corner of West Drive and 72nd Street for half a hour with the rest of us ...

#1142.  WHO:  Stacy Creamer
WHEN:  November 5th, 2000
SUBJECT:  Her thank-you speech after winning the New York City Marathon All-Comers 2.62 Mile Race inside Central Park on the morning of the New York City Marathon
WHAT SHE SAID: ""It was thoughtful of the NYRRC to deplete the field in the All-Comers 2.62-Miler for me by holding a marathon the same day."
COMMENT:  As if that was not enough, they also held separate high school races to make sure that Stacy would not be challenged by young legs. 

#1141.  WHO:  Eve Kaplan
BACKGROUND: This message "Eve Kaplan is looking to buy (used) one of those floor-to-ceiling poles that you can mount your bike on. If anyone has one they're looking to sell, they can email Eve Kaplan.  Wood or aluminum is fine" posted on our website obviously caused great concern that she had been kidnapped and brainwashed by multi-sport geeks.
WHAT SHE WROTE:  "Fear not, for this runner (1) does not own a bike (2) has not been on a real bike in almost 10 years (3) fell off the 'bike' during a spin class at the gym!"

#1140.  WHO:  Alan Ruben / Gordon Bakoulis
WHEN: November 2, 2000, three days before 2000 New York City Marathon
WHERE:  Newsday.com article "Running: Two Voices Speak as One When Marathon Comes Up" by John Hanc
WHAT THEY SAID: 

WHAT John Hanc wrote: "Based on what we heard from Alan Ruben (he) and Gordon Bakoulis (she), we'd have to say that if the New York Road Runners Club ever gave out awards for stuff like "Mr. and Mrs. NYC Marathon," Ruben and Bakoulis would win by a mile.

He's running New York for the 14th straight year. The past five times, Ruben finished under 2 hours, 35 minutes, and he has been the top local master three years in a row.

She's running New York for the first time since 1994, but her New York personal record is a sizzling 2:33:01, set in 1989. A four-time Olympic Trials marathoner, Gordon is also an author and former editor of Running Times magazine.

Still, while Bakoulis, 39, and Ruben, 43, are competing in the same race Sunday, it's rare that this running couple actually gets to run together. At least not since Joey came along three years ago (he was joined by brother Sammy in 1999).  So when Ruben's running, Bakoulis is at home watching the kids. When he gets home from his job as a computer programmer, she gets in her miles.

(Besides, Ruben said jokingly, "we only have one baby jogger!") More important, Ruben and Bakoulis, who live in Manhattan, have each other.  Running is how they met (through mutual friends at the Central Park Track Club). Running is their shared passion."

#1139.  WHO:  Caryl Baron
WHEN:  Just before the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT SHE WROTE: "I'm one of that group that can't run fast enough to do speed work anymore.  I'll be way back in the pack, over an hour slower than my last NYCM seventeen years ago, but I'm doing it again.  I must be crazy - why would anyone want to go to Fort Wadsworth with 30,000 others on a cold windy morning to wait two hours for the start of a run that won't open up enough to move until it reaches Central Park - and maybe not even then?  4:30 if I'm lucky, 5:00+ if I'm not."
POSTSCRIPT:  Caryl would finish in 4:43:10 (chip time 4:36:30).  But her legend is already established as the Central Park Track Club newsletter editor in the 1980's, and those newsletters get talked about even by people who have never seen them ...

#1138.  WHO: Etsuko Kizawa
WHEN:  After the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT SHE WROTE: "It was so good to see our cheerers when I entered the park.  I felt, 'There's no place like home.'"

#1137.  WHO:  Olivier Baillet
WHAT HE WROTE: "I noticed that you perfidiously reported that Stacy Creamer said that the French are now a minority in the club in comparison to the Canadians.  You know what --- I've gotten to know you very well now and I won't do any comment on that, just because I am sure that you would like me to."
COMMENT:  What a very long 'I am not going to respond' note!  Next time, try the simple 'no comment'!

#1136.  WHO:  Roland Soong
SUBJECT:  What happened to the website the day after the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE WROTE:  "On the Monday right after the New York City Marathon, this website received 1,242 users, which was our all-time high by far.  Since we had only 60 or so runners in the race, this means that all their teammates, friends, colleagues and relatives are looking them up from all over the world.  While much of the talk about the Internet revolution is pure hype, this is one strong instance of a virtual community.  Here are the log statistics ---

Total time spent = (1242 user sessions) x (8:21 minutes per user session) = 172.8 hours

Question:  Where is the Czech Republic?
Question:  Who is dialing in from Singapore?  It's Eric Forestier!

#1135.  SUBJECT: Ramon Bermo WHEN:  2000 New York City Marathon, dressed as the Spanish flag man WHO:  Etsuko Kizawa WHAT SHE SAID: "I saw a runner pass me with a huge Spanish flag early in the race in Brooklyn.  I said to myself, 'Oh, no.  I hope it's not Ramon.'  It was too crazy to carry that stuff in that wind, too.  I saw the picture today, 'Oh, no.  It WAS him!!'  I just loved the club whole a lot more." WHO:  Stacy Creamer WHAT SHE SAID:  "Oh, no, Ramon was only the second flag man finisher.  I saw someone else carrying a flag in front of him.  However, Ramon was the first Spanish flag man finisher." WHO:  Margaret Angell WHAT SHE SAID: "The reason that you did not see me in the race was that I was behind Ramon Bermo.  When you guys saw him carrying the flag of Spain, you all went crazy and completely ignored me."

#1134.  WHO:  Stuart Calderwood
SUBJECT:  2000 New York City Marathon
BACKGROUND: Three days before the New York City Marathon, Stuart indicated that he would not be able to run due to back problems.  But recognizing the need for a third master runner besides Alan Ruben and Peter Allen, he showed up on race day to give it a try.
WHAT HE SAID:  "I knew my coach Tony Ruiz would be standing at the eight mile mark just past the Brooklyn Academy of Music.  When I got there, I asked, 'In what place am I on the master team?'  He yelled, 'You are third.'  That meant I had to keep going.  Guess what?  At mile seventeen, I caught up to and passed my teammate Alston Brown, another master.  I thought, 'Damn, if Tony had told me about Alston, I could have stopped at mile eight.  Now I'll really have to keep going.'"
COMMENT:  In all fairness, Tony Ruiz claimed to have missed Alston Brown, who was wearing a Department of Sanitation singlet.  But then again, he also said, "I'll do what I have to do to get a performance."

#1133.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
TO WHOM:  Stacy Creamer
WHEN:  After the 2000 New York City Marathon
BACKGROUND:  When you want to cheer the runners, there are two good choices.  One is strength in number, such as the Central Park Track Club contingent at the top of the little hill that feels like a mountain at the 103rd Street entrance into Central Park.  The other is to go where no one else is present and act as the lone voice in the wilderness, as Stacy Creamer traditionally does near the twentieth mile mark in the Bronx.
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Stacy, I PROMISE it was you who turned my race round.  At 20-miles, I was dog-eaten and flea-bitten and ready to limp home like a toad under a car tire but seeing your energized self inspired me to push all the way home - Thanks."

#1132.  WHO:  Audrey Kingsley
SUBJECT: 2000  New York City Marathon
WHAT SHE SAID: "In the past, people have told me to stay focused in a race and not look around for people.  So this time, I made sure to wear sunglasses just so I won't look around."
Supporting evidence --- EXHIBIT 1, EXHIBIT 2, EXHIBIT 3 --- NOT!  Question:  How much faster might she have been without the extra weight on top of her head?

#1131.  WHO:  Kim Mannen SUBJECT:  The placard that she held in her hands while she cheered the runners near East 96th Street inside Central Park during the 2000 New York City Marathon WHAT SHE SAID: "Please make sure that you take a photo of it.  I spent a lot of time writing all those names in." COMMENT #1:  If you went by her and did not have time to read the fine print, here is your chance to read it now. COMMENT #2:  If your name does not appear, please don't blame her because she was just using the incompletely compiled list on the website.

#1130.  WHO:  Olivier Baillet
SUBJECT:  What happened at the 23rd mile mark at the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE SAID: "I loved the crowd at the entrance to the Park, but I got so excited when I saw them that I almost cramped right at the top of the hill, which would have terminated my sub 3-hour dream."

#1129.  WHO:  Rob Zand
SUBJECT:  Cheering at the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE SAID:  "The Central Park Track Club cheering section at the 23rd mile lived up to their reputation (editor: see video).  By comparison, even though there were many more spectators on 59th Street along Central Park South, there was dead silence.  Nobody said anything.  It was absolutely unbelievable."

#1128.  WHO:  Roland Soong SUBJECT:  Central Park Track Park website traffic WHAT HE SAID: "For the month of October in 2000, our website had an average of 639 visitors per day.  This projects to a total of 639 x 365 = 233,235 visitors per year.  How to visualize this?  Visualize the ~34,000 runners in this years' marathon and multiply that mass of humanity by seven times.  That is how many people who come to visit our website.  Yes, we are bigger than the New York City Marathon!"

#1127.  WHO:  Yves-Marc Courtines
WHEN:  Upon seeing his 2000 New York City Marathon run featured on this website as

In this race, Yves-Marc Courtines will be ...

looking to complete 3rd in a row
looking to complete 4th in 6 years (1995, 1998, 1999, 2000)
looking to complete 4th in a lifetime
looking to complete 1st as a solo runner (non-Achilles Track Club) since 1995
looking to improve on prior races of 4:29:18, 4:18, and 3:38:28, respectively.

WHAT HE WROTE:  "Wahooooo!!! (I guess I shoulda kept my mouth SHUT!!!)."

#1126.  WHO:  Fritz Mueller
SUBJECT:  The fact that during the ten months between April 1978 to February 1979, he ran seven marathons in an average time of 2:24, plus one 50K
WHAT HE SAID:  "I don't know why I did that."
COMMENT:  Even if he knew why, he would have done it anyway.

#1125.  WHO:  Michael Garland
WHEN:  Ten days before the New York City Marathon
SITUATION: Not having been running for a couple of years, he was asked to assess his chances at the marathon
WHAT HE SAID: "Not having run further than seven or eight miles yet, this marathon is out of the question for me.  If I had to do it, then with six weeks of training, I might be able to break 3:30 if everything goes right ... (pause for reflection) ... but why would I have to do it?" 

#1124.  WHO:  Isaya Okwiya
SUBJECT:  Safety measures taken for the Halloween Night workout at East River Park, on October 31st, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Craig 'The Body' Plummer showed up at the end of the workout to walk the rest of us (in safety) home."

#1123.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
SUBJECT:  2000 New York City Marathon training notes
WHAT HE WROTE: "On Saturday, I plan to eat the same breakfast that I will eat on Sunday at exactly the same hour, around 7-8 am depending when I wake. This little strategy helps my body to get accustomed to the food I will be eating, reducing the risk of an upset stomach on race day.  I will also plan to sleep each night for a good eight hours, at least for the last four days.  On the subject of sleep, I shall set about four alarms for Marathon day in an attempt to not oversleep."

PROTEST NOTE FROM Rob Zand: "Toby, Toby, Toby ... and you've even got a book to your name!  You should know to always credit the sources of your material.  That four-alarm quip is clearly mine. ;-)  Even the website has been giving me credit when the joke is repeated, again, and again."

PROTEST NOTE FROM Toby Tanser:  "That alarm clocks existed before the wake of Rob is a bewilderment even I find hard to believe.  Believe it or not, there was life in my 4 alarm watch, and multiple alarms PR <pre rob>."

#1122.  WHO:  Roger Liberman
SUBJECT:  1999 New York City Marathon photo op
WHAT HE SAID:  "I did not see our photographer at the Brooklyn Academy of Music.  In fact, I don't remember seeing BAM at all and I have even gone there for concerts before!"

#1121.  WHO: David Diviney
SUBJECT: XTERRA World Championships 2000
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Oh, my God!  The whole XTERRA experience was amazing. The 1.5k swim was in Wailea Bay, basically calm water, but a frenzied mess getting to the first buoy.  No wetsuits, not ideal for the super skinny bad swimmer.  The mountain bike leg was rough. The ride was along the slopes of a 10,000' volcano, Mt Haleakala. We climbed more than 3000' over 30k.  The course was extra hot, dry and sun-exposed with all the descending over softball-sized, jagged lava rocks. As the 11k run started, the temperatures entered the mid to high 80s. We ran on the sand, through the woods, along a lava cliff and the sun-baked street. My legs were junk as I wobbled through the finish. A bunch of people were carried through the finish to the med tent.  I highly recommend it."

COMMENT:  The XTERRA website carries real-video of the finish, which means you can get an instant replay of "My legs were junk as I wobbled through the finish" by requesting for last name Diviney.  Here are the screen captures ...

Right up under the finish line structure to be greeted with a lei  (this is Hawaii!)

Now for the legs to get really WOBBLY!

#1120.  WHO:  Charles Allard Jr.
SUBJECT:  Sodegaura Seaside Road Race, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE:  "This race is advertised as a run along the sea shore, but actually run among chemical factories located near the sea (where they conveniently can dump their waste.)"

PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE:

#1119.  WHO:  Guillermo Rojas
WHAT HE SAID:  "Aqua-running is so boring!"
COMMENT:  ... compared to treadmill running?"

#1118.  WHO:  Bridget Strand
WHEN:  After the Not The New York City Marathon 5K on October 29, 2000
WHAT SHE ASKED:  "Did the same person win this year's race as last year?  You know, that tall guy in the wig --- I saw him both years ahead at the turnaround."

PHOTOGRAPHIC DOCUMENTATION:  It's not the same person, is it ...?  They have different colored hair, you know ...

1999 edition

2000 edition

FACT #1:  Different people won the races these two years.
FACT #2:  The winners were not the ones in these pictures.
FACT #3:  It is not known whether the persons in the pictures lost their races because the hair was blocking vision or the clothing were dragging on the body.  
FACT# 4:  It is known that they wore running shoes, not 3" heels (see the following item).

#1117.  WHO: Toby Tanser
SUBJECT:  Marathon predictions
WHAT HE SAID: "Marathons are not my forte... after 13.1 miles, I tend to go downhill faster than Franz Klammer."
WHAT HE ALSO SAID: "After about 13.1 miles, my form descends faster than Etoys.com's stock over the past year.  Basically, I run with such an uneconomic style that marathons suit my body like a 3" heel fits my racing shoes."  (Hint: You need two 3" heels, one per shoe, for balance)
VISUAL AID:  See video

#1116.  WHO:  Margaret Schotte
WHEN:  Nine days before the New York City Marathon
WHAT SHE WROTE: "When I saw my name on the list of marathon runners on the website, I panicked slightly --- what if I had gotten a number at the last minute, and didn't know about it??  What if, for some reason, I -had- to race in 9 days???   Argh!  But, I just checked the NYRRC database, and I'm not on there, so I will just be part of the cheering contingent."
COMMENT:  Phew!!!

#1115.  WHO:  Eric Hall
TO WHOM:  Toby Tanser
WHAT HE SAID:   "I don't bother phoning you anymore --- if I want to know how you are doing, I look at the Central Park Track Club website!"

TECHNICAL NOTE:  This item is a friendship test, and is posted at 11:48pm, Friday, October 27, 2000.  If you read this, Eric, please notify Toby by e-mail immediately.  Obviously, the quicker you respond, the more points you get.  You may also attach supporting documentation (to wit, "I was in Tibet where I could not get on the Internet") to account for any delay. 

#1114.  WHO: Tim Evans
WHEN:  October 2000, while doing a global research gig to Bangkok, Thailand via Tokyo, Japan
SITUATION:  He was comfortably seated in an airplane, picked up a Japanese-language in-flight magazine and saw this picture ...
WHAT HE SAID: "Hey, it's Toby Tanser!"
TECHNICAL NOTE:  The headline screams about how Toby Tanser wins the Comeback Runner award after recovering from skull surgery.   The photo came from the NYC Marathon Tune-Up 18 Miler that Toby won in late August 2000.

#1113. WHO:  Rob Zand
WHEN:  Ten days before the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE WROTE: "I am telling my friends who will be at the marathon to cheer for anything they see wearing orange - even if the rogue in me hasn't decided whether I myself will don the colors.  I guess I need to get a uniform for that even to be a consideration, but you know, some of us are lazy and well ... independent. but alas, I digress --- if, during the marathon, people are wondering who these people are cheering for them that they don't know, it's very well my doing."
COMMENT:  Oh, there will be so many perplexed runners from Holland ... (hint: our booklist showed this book having been purchased --- Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Football by David Winner).

#1112. WHO: Toby Tanser
SUBJECT:  Songs of Innocence and Experience
WHAT HE SAID: "On the starting line of any race, you hear incredible stories of lack of training ... the mind boggles!"

#1111. WHO: Frank Handelman
WHEN:  Less than two weeks before the 2000 New York City Marathon
WHAT HE SAID:  "If I tell you that I am running the marathon, you would know that I am lying.  My last marathon was in 1977, and I think the fact that I gave up marathoning is the reason why I am still running today."

While some of you were not yet born in 1977, Brian Barry remembered it as the year of the New York City blackout.  Where were you on that night?
WHAT FRANK SAID: "On the evening of the 1977 New York City blackout, I was running the Corporate Challenge race.  I remember it well because it was the best race that I ever ran."

Toby Tanser and Lisa McGreevey, 
2000 PHS Comeback Runners of the Year

#1110: WHO:  Lisa McGreevey
STORY: Two years ago, at the age of 27, Lisa McGreevey was at the doctor when he told her that she had invasive cervical cancer, that it was very aggressive, that she could be dead in 12 months and that he was unable to schedule her for treatment several weeks because he had no openings. Determined to conquer the disease, and not to let it conquer her, she sought a second opinion from the physicians at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. Although their diagnosis was the same, their approach was entirely different. McGreevey was told that in the cases of extremely rare cancers, you shouldn't believe statistics because there are so many variables. Even more importantly, within seventy-two hours they had her in surgery and beginning an eighteen-week chemotherapy program.  Once she was able, McGreevey began jogging in an effort to re-build her energy, and to help shed the twenty-five pounds that she gained from the steroid shot that accompanied her chemotherapy treatment. Before she knew it, she was addicted and ready to run her first 10K in May of 1999.  Running has remained an important part of McGreevey's life, allowing her to clear her head and to push herself beyond her wildest expectations. Her biggest challenge since conquering her cancer will be running her first Marathon. "For my recovery and remission, running has been the best therapy", said McGreevey. "As I run up First Avenue past all of the hospitals where my odyssey began, I am sure that I will be grinning and repeating my motto: Running is breathing, Breathing is life".

WHO: Toby Tanser
STORY: On the 29th of December 1999, while running along a secluded deserted beach along the Indian Ocean in Zanzibar, Tanzania, two men approached Toby Tanser and revealed a rusty machete and a homemade club. The machete was raised and Tanser immediately realized that he was the intended chopping block.  Instinctively, his arm went up to stop the blow and blood flew through the air.  At the same time, the other man took the homemade club and hit him over the head with tremendous force causing Tanser to lose consciousness. When he came to, they had taken his watch, sunglasses and left sneaker. Tanser sprung up and managed to take control of the machete.  As the two men ran off, Tanser stood covered from head to toe with blood more than two miles away from his moped.  His wrist was so badly cut that he could see the white bone and felt that his hand would fall off.  His skull was opened and blood was gushing out.  After reaching the moped, and tying his wrist to the handle bar he drove himself to Stone Town where he was directed to a medical clinic.  After apologizing for having no anesthetics or antibiotics, a doctor sewed his head and wrist and put him to bed. After more than a week of struggle to return to Europe he was finally flown to England, where the surgeons discovered the largest blood clot that they had ever seen right next to his brain. Doctors were amazed that he was still alive and found that the injury to his wrist was just a hair away from the main artery. Three titanium plates were used to repair the damage to his skull as tubes drained the blood from his skull. The first race back was painful and arduous, but doctors had told Tanser that running would only help his recovery.  Six months later, Tanser is the talk of the NYC running community and the PHS Health Plans Elite Comeback Runner of the Year.

#1109.  WHO:  Margaret Schotte, running in tandem with Shelley Farmer, Stephanie Gould, Margaret Angell, Lauren Eckhart, Alayne Adams, Audrey Kingsley
WHEN:  October 24, 2000 track workout
WHAT: The writing on the back of her t-shirt
WHAT WAS WRITTEN:  "We are the FAST GIRLS that your mom warned you about."
COMMENT: ... and you can ask Yves-Marc Courtines, who was reading the writing all night (when he got close enough)

#1108.  WHO:  Rick Shaver
BACKGROUND:  People train to condition themselves in order to prepare themselves for a race.  But according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word 'conditioning' also describes a situation in which the conditioned stimulus (as the sound of a bell) is paired with and precedes the unconditioned stimulus (as the sight of food) until the conditioned stimulus alone is sufficient to elicit the response (as salivation in a dog)."
WHEN:  October 19th, 2000 track workout
WHERE:  Top of the hill at East 102nd Street
SIGHT:  The Central Park Track Club website photographer standing there and waiting for the runners to come around
WHAT RICK SAID: "What?  No camera tonight?"

#1107.  WHO:  Audrey Kingsley
SUBJECT:  How running with your teammates affects your personality
WHAT SHE SAID:  "You guys have made me so mean!"
COMMENT:  Audrey, don't save your meanness just for the workouts --- use it well when you get to the twentieth mile mark of the marathon ... 

#1106.  WHO: Blair Boyer
WHEN:  Two weeks before the New York City Marathon, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE:  "I had a great marathon dream last night."

#1105.  WHO:  Sid Howard
WHERE: The book,  It's Never Too Late: Personal Stories of Staying Young Through Sports, edited by Gail Waesche Kislevitz
WHAT HE SAID: "I'm just a simple boring person.  I eat, run, work, sleep, in that order."
COMMENT ... and set world records?

#1104.  WHO:  Jonathan Cane
WHEN:  October 16, 2000
SUBJECT:  A Plea for Help

MAN WITHOUT A SKYSCRAPER

Climbing the stairs of a skyscraper for 24 hours might sound like torture but Jonathan Cane, a 36-year-old fitness trainer for the NYPD who has done the Empire State Building race four times, is begging people to let him do it. In 1998, as his mother was recovering from breast cancer surgery, he wanted to raise money to help the people who had helped her. Cane was familiar with charity events like the Race for the Cure (a 3.1-mile run) or Avon's three day, 60 mile walks, but he wanted to do something different. Says Cane: "It seemed that walking, running or riding a bike for charity had become almost commonplace. While those are all great events, they tend to blend into one another. I wanted to do something that would stand out from the typical fundraiser."

Cane contacted SHARE, a non-profit organization that provides support services for women, men and children who have been affected by breast or ovarian cancer.  He proposed an event in which he would climb the 110 flights of the World Trade Center 24 times in 24 hours. Cane hoped to raise money for SHARE and awareness for the organization that had helped his mother and so many others.  After getting a tentative go-ahead from the World Trade Center, management backed out, citing security concerns. Cane tried several other skyscrapers, but encountered similar objections about liability and/or security.  Such resistance is more than a little frustrating to Cane.  "I've offered to supply all the legal waivers they want, and even recruited a series of off-duty Police Officers who volunteered to take turns walking with me to ensure my safety, and the security of the building." 

To date, this competitive cyclist is at a standstill. He has a fundraising plan, a support crew to help out on the day of the event and plenty of off-duty cops to provide security for him and the staircase he plods up.  (Even the folks at Guinness are interested in the possibility of establishing a world record.) Of course, all he's missing is a skyscraper.  While he's eager to find a landmark building like the World Trade Center, Empire State Building or Rockefeller Center, any tall building will do. Any real estate moguls interested helping him raise money for cancer should contact Cane at joncane@bellatlantic.net  or call him at (718) 398-0348.

#1103.  WHO:  John Megaw
SUBJECT:  His workout performance at the October 17th, 2000 track workout
WHAT HE SAID:  "I was clinging on to Alayne Adams the whole time.   You can call me Barnacles John."

#1102.  WHO:  Yves-Marc Courtines
SUBJECT:  The Fifth Avenue Mile
WHEN:  Right after the 2000 event
WHAT HE SAID: "I was able to set a PR this year.  It seems that every year I learned something that I could apply.  Unfortunately, this is an annual event and it will be another year before I can actually try it out."

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE INTERESTED IN A QUICKIE LESSON:
(1)  Ignore all those people who go out in under 60 seconds for the first 400m --- they'll die like pigs!
(2) When you see the finish line after cresting at 72nd Street, hold off your kick because the finish line is actually a long, long way off.
(3) However bad you may feel, you can count on a mental boost from the Central Park Track Club cheering section at the 1500m mark

#1101.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
QUESTION:  Will dieting help your running?
WHAT HE WROTE: "Does it help? Most of the elite runners I have lived with over the years have terrible diets. Khalid Skah ate like a buffet king yet won Olympic Gold; Jerry Lawson 'lives' at Hooters eating chicken wings, though ran a 2:09 American record; Vincent Rosseau ate his weight in chocolate daily but ran a 2:07; Eddy Hellebuyck survives on Pot Noodles yet has run over 90 marathons with a 2:11 PR! Ouch, so now that I have eased my conscience, I can go out and enjoy more pizza!"

Bryn Randolph:  "Toby is a MACHINE, a fact we just have to accept ... Unlike Mr. Machine, good nutrition is a HUGE deal for me. I have concluded that the folks who eat tons of junk food are an alien life form (sorry, Toby).  I drink fresh vegetable juice each day. And, as a longtime vegetarian and supplement-taker, I am proud to report that I haven't needed medication -not even an aspirin - for more than 4 years!"

Toby Tanser: "An alien? At least I am a legal alien."  Also: "Machine? - well I do have metal plates in my body, but alien*? I was a vegetarian for twelve years (imagine that, living in Iceland where 70% of the GNP is fish!) but have since discovered that 'see-food eat-food' gets me invited out to dine more often."