WEEK OF JANUARY 28, 2003 - FEBRUARY 3, 2003

• FASTER, HIGHER, STRONGER [2/3/2003]  Russian pole-vaulter Svetlana Feofanova broke her own indoor world record yesterday, clearing 15' 7-1/4".  We'll be interested to see if Stacy Dragila who holds the outdoor world record (15-9 1/4) and the American indoor record (15-5 1/4) can mount a serious challenge to this new mark at Friday's Millrose Games.  Of course there are other reasons to watch the Millrose Games [CPTC!], like Shawn Crawford, who recently beat a giraffe and lost to a zebra [4x400 women's masters and men's masters!!]; high jumper Amy Acuff, who is usually on the cutting edge of athletic fashion [CPTC-team's races start at 5:00 p.m.  You can get tickets at the Armory for $15!!!]; and stars like Regina Jacobs and Maurice Greene [Wear Orange!!!!!!!!!].  We even hear they'll be some relays.
   
• CROSS CULTURAL INFLUENCE [2/3/2003]  We read today of the death of jazz percussionist Mongo Santamaria from a stroke at age 85.  Santamaria, who played a leading role in the shift from the Afro-Cuban jazz of the 1950s to the more salsa-themed sound of the 1970s, was also one of the most popular Latin musicians of the 1960s, and his career covered nearly all forms of jazz and Latin music.  Still, we'll always think of him as the inspiration for the character Mongo in Mel Brooks' classic 1973 Western, Blazing Saddles.  In the film, the dim-witted-but-nearly-invulnerable Mongo is sent to terrorize the town of Rock Ridge.  The town's one Hispanic citizen, upon seeing this foe, exclaims "Mongo!  Santa Maria!" while crossing himself, and promptly faints in shock.  God, as they say, is in the details.
   
• REVISED HISTORY [2/3/2003]  On the list of best marathon times, Bill Gaston ("recruited by my longtime hero, Frank Handelman") should be credited with nine sub-3-hour races:
  (3) New York City Marathon (2:53 in 1980, 2:38:30 PR in 1981, 2:41 in 1983)
  (2) Virginia Beach Shamrock Marathon (both in 2:53, in 1977, and 1978)
  (1) Boston Marathon (2:48 in 1978)
  (1) Maryland Marathon (2:47 in 1979)
  (1) Moscow (Russia) Marathon in 2:42 in 1984
  (1) Taylor Wineglass Marathon in 2:59 in 1992.
   
• POST-RACE EVALUATION [2/2/2003]  Context ... it's all about context ...
   
  
   
• RACE GOALS [2/2/2003]  So Margaret Angell went out for a training run and won the Al Gordon 15K.  The training goal was achieved, and the actual achievement was larger. 
   
  Meanwhile Steven Paddock has these immediate goals:
  - an indoor 3,000m on February 22nd:  "If I don't beat 9:20.4 (editor's note:  Tony Ruiz's time at the Thursday Night At the Races), I will be switching to the high jump.  I think ..."
  - the Flora London Half Marathon on March 22nd: "I will probably get some grief from Tony Ruiz for I am having my annual attempt at a half marathon.  This should be interesting at least until the miles get too much (although hopefully I might be able to make it this year round without an MI)."
   
• FAR EAST REPORT [2/2/2003]  Our Far East correspondent has returned from his long trip, and is sharing his photos and memories with us.  Why is there no restaurant review (which would be consistent with our proclivity to tell you about places that you will never visit)?  He explains, "Unfortunately for you, I have no complaint about every place that I ate at, from the exclusive Kowloon Club down to the seedy backstreet dives and food courts.  Even the canteen was serviceable.  The fact is this --- the Hong Kong economy is a service economy based upon a strict Darwinian survival-of-the-fittest logic.  A bad restaurant would be out of business within a week.  Those horrible New York City restaurants would never be around."
    
• CROSS TRAINING FOR RUNNERS [2/1/2003]  In the NYRR Monthly Lecture Series, this month's speaker will be Scott Willett.  The date is Tuesday, February 11, the time is 6:30-8:00pm and the place is NYRR, 9 East 89th Street (between Madison and Fifth Avenues).  Our speaker is credentialed as 'Coach of NYU Triathlon Club and NYC Triathlon Team in Training.'  Not stated is the fact that he is a member of the Central Park Track Club.  Admission is free for card-carrying NYRR members and $5 for non-members.  Lecture is limited to first 35 people to show up.  The topics will include:
   
  - Benefits of cross-training, including performance enhancement, injury prevention and rehabilitation, running longevity, and just plain boredom-busting fun
  - The best cross-training options for you
  - How to integrate cross-training into your running program
    
• ESSENTIAL GUIDE [2/1/2003]  Officially available on February 4 from Amazon.com will be Toby Tanser's The Essential Guide to Running the New York City Marathon.  The sections of the book include:
   
  € How to Enter
  € Three 16-week Training Guides
  € The Top 14 Tips for Surviving in the City
  € The Weather and What to Wear
  € Hotels
  € Volunteering
  € The Race Expo
  € Where to Run in NYC
  € Getting to-and Surviving-the Start
  € Best Bagel and Pizza Restaurants in the City
  € Spectator Essentials
  € The Course-for the Marathoner and for the Spectator
  € NYC Sports Doctors
  € Tips from the Pros
   
  What!?  Bagel and pizza restaurants only?  
   
  
    
• UPDATE ON OBED MUTANYA [2/1/2003]  Last year, Toby Tanser organized a fund-raising campaign to raise money for Obed Mutanya to fly from Zambia to go to Central Arizona College.  Here are two updates:

Obed Mutanya has asked me to give a big thank you to everybody who gave donations toward the cost of his air ticket from Zambia to Phoenix so that he can commence studying at Central Arizona College.  Obed will arrive in Phoenix this evening and starts classes at CAC tomorrow (Tuesday).  Administrative problems that were out of his hands, and those of CAC, meant he will arrive in the US about a month later than anticipated - it was hoped that he would get to the US before Christmas - but he is enrolled for this semester and is eagerly looking forward to the athletic and academic challenges ahead.
  
Severe rains in Zambia during November and December meant that his training was severely curtailed before Christmas but Obed has had several good weeks of training since the start of the year.  He is not yet in the shape to run a 13:25 5km like he did in 2001 (his PR on the track is 13:25.25) and he has only had one race since the Commonwealth Games in July due to the lack of opportunities at home, but he is raring to get back into competition and is looking forward to running in CAC vest.
  
For the average person in Zambia it is difficult to make ends meet, the country is going through a severe economic crisis, and Obed comes from a tough background even by local standards.  Obed would have been unable to continue his education without a scholarship from an American institution but, to be eligible for such a scholarship, the rules and regulations demand that an athlete actually gets to the institution by his own means, and under normal circumstances that wouldn't have been possible for Obed.
 
Athletically, it is impossible to say with any certainty what the future holds for him but Obed has the potential to run very fast and also rewrite the JUCO record book.  He has the tentative targets of winning the JUCO 5km in the spring and breaking Noureddine Morceli's JUCO 5km record of 13:25.10 from 1990, although the latter may have to wait until his second year of eligibility of CAC next year.  If these things happens, and I believe they will, then the sponsors can take great pride in knowing that they contributed to making it happen.  If you ever get the chance to meet Obed in person, I am sure you will find that your faith and generosity have not been misplaced.
 
Best regards
Phil Minshull

Dear all - After your contributions to getting Obed Mutanya to Central Arizona College, I thought I would briefly let you know how things are going with him after a week there. In two words, his situation can be summed up as 'very good'. He went straight into classes on Tuesday after arriving in Phoenix on Monday night after a 36 hour journey from Lusaka.
 
The initial tests to determine his ability levels, and so which classes he will attend,  went well and even better than expected in mathematics. Not being familiar with the US education system, I can only pass on what I have been told by CAC but they are confident he will graduate with an associate degree in four semesters and be able to go on to an NCAA I school.
 
Despite being tired from his journey and all the inevitable last minute things to do back in Zambia, he is in good shape and has had no problem adapting to the CAC training regime. "He's clearly been training hard before he came here and during the sessions he's been looking at me as if to say, 'Is this all you're doing?'" Coach Gray at CAC commented to me at the weekend.
 
He has his first race in three weeks' time - apologies, I don't know where - and Obed has already set his sights on running very fast in April in the right competition, maybe an open race like Mt Sac as JUCO competitions may lack the opposition to push him.
 
Obed himself is delighted with everything he has found, especially the reception he got at CAC where all the staff - academic, coaching and administrative - have gone out of their way to introduce him to life at a US college and look after him. He said that the first week was incredibly busy. Registration, tests, classes, finding out where to get books and other daily essentials etc but the culture shock hasn't been too huge and he said that by the end of the week the bewilderment was starting to subside.
 
He is in a small comfortable apartment on campus which he is sharing with CAC's other top runner, Kenya's Jonah Maiyo. His only one grumble is about the cafeteria food... but this comes from a man who is an adept fisherman used to catching his own supper!
 
Once again, many thanks to everyone for making a difference to one young man's life. I am not proposing to send regular updates but will pass on the occasional bits of good news.
 
Best regards
Phil Minshull

At this moment, the Central Arizona College track web page does not even have Obed listed on the roster.  The first track meet of the season is on February 15, culminating in the NJCAA championships on May 9-10.  
 
On the Central Arizona College all-time list, the top ten 5,000m times are:

13:55.39	Mark Roberts	1988
13:58.20	Art Redhair	1976
14:03.20	Simon Kilili	1981
14:06.50	Kristen Bowditch	1996
14:28.76	Jaime Rodriquez	1990
14:34.50	Steve Preston	1985
14:41.46	Frank Kinhead	1996
14:42.30	Gary Schnakenburg	1986
14:43.54	Zepherinus Joseph	1999
14:44.24	Finion Cronin	1986

According to the IAAF, Obed Mutanya has a 5,000m time of 13:46.33 set in 2000 at the IAAF World Junior Championships in Santiago de Chile.  In 2001, he ran 13:25.25 (PR) in San Sebastian.  At the 2002 Commonwealth Games, he ran 13:39.74.  It is therefore almost certain that Obed will be the best 5,000m runner for the school.

• CANADIAN ROAD RANKINGS [2/1/2003]  As of 1/26/2003, RunningTimes ranked the Canadian women as follows:
   
  1 Carol Howe (CAN)
     No races past two months
  2 Sarah Dupre (CAN)
     30 Nov 2002 003 0369 XC 6 km Moncton CAN
  3 Lucille Smith (CAN)
     12 Jan 2003 001 RD 8 km Saanichton CAN
     30 Nov 2002 004 0369 XC 6 km Moncton CAN
  4 Nicole Stevenson (CAN)
     19 Jan 2003 002 0300 RD Half Mara Carlsbad CA /USA
     26 Dec 2002 001 RD 10 mi Hamilton CAN
  5 Sarah Dillabough (CAN)
     30 Nov 2002 008 0369 XC 6 km Moncton CAN
  6 Tania Jones (CAN)
     No races past two months
  7 Lisa Harvey (CAN)
     No races past two months
  8 Veronique vanderSmissen (CAN)
     No races past two months
  9 Angela Strange (CAN)
     No races past two months
  10 Sandy Jacobson (CAN)
     No races past two months
  11 Danuta Bartoszek (CAN)
     No races past two months
  12 Nancy Tinari (CAN)
     No races past two months
  13 Maria Zambrano (CAN)
     30 Nov 2002 013 0369 XC 6 km Moncton CAN
  14 Alayne Adams (CAN)
     15 Dec 2002 003 RD 10 km New York NY /USA
   
  At the end of 2002, Alayne Adams finished at number 15 in the open rankings, on the strength that exuberant 24th place overall finish in the New York City Marathon.  If there were a separate ranking for masters, Alayne would be behind only Nancy Tinari.
   
• GLOBAL CORRESPONDENCE [2/1/2003]  The following emails were exchanged during late January:

MC:  I'm a runner from London. I'm due to be in NY between 22-30. Can I join you for the Thursday 7pm run?

RS:  I am presently in Hong Kong, so it is rather odd that someone in Hong Kong should be telling someone else in London about a road workout in New York City.  Yes, our road workouts are open to everyone.  We meet on Thursdays at 7pm by the Daniel Webster statue at the intersection of West 72nd Street and West Drive, just a few blocks north of Tavern On The Green.  If you think you are getting lost, just remember that all the lampposts inside Central Park are painted with the street numbers (E66, E67, ..., W66, W67, W68, etc).

MC: In fact, it is coincidental that you are writing from Hong Kong (to a person in London about running in NY!).  I have recently moved from Hong Kong to London.  There are some good hill runs on Hong Kong island, and the weather at this time of year should not be too oppressive.  For a flat-ish run, if you are near the mid-levels area, go up the long escalator all the way up to Conduit Road, there is a nice run which takes you to Queen Mary hospital. From the top of the escalator, turn right (heading west) and follow Conduit Road to the end of the road. From there, turn left (you should be heading up hill, not down) and run about 50m until you hit a set of public toilets. Next to the public toilets is a set of stairs going downwards. Follow this on to the trail and go the end of it. It's not very long, about 2.5km max, so around 5K there and back. But unusually pretty for middle of urban HK.  For a hilly run, try the challenging Morning Trail off Conduit road to the Peak for a really steep ride!  Have fun in Hong Kong. I'll try and catch the club on Thursday. Thanks for the tip re street markings.
 
RS:  Unfortunately, I live on the wrong side of the harbor in Hong Kong.  Over on the Kowloon side, I suppose there is nothing much to do other than run down Waterloo Road, straight over Lion Rock and all the way to Shatin and then take the train back ...

Indeed, the internet has made the world smaller now ...

• WEB ACCESS STATISTICS [2/1/2003]  And so we rolled on again through this new year, every month better than the month before.  The mystery is that our top user came from this domain: blueyonder.co.uk, with almost 5000 hits from just five sessions --- his/her arm must be falling off ...
   
• THURSDAY RACE REPORT [1/31/2003] Coach Tony Ruiz had been promoting last night's meet as the big CPTC night at the races.  So what happened?  We had three more runners present this time than we did two weeks ago.  Still, whatever we may have lacked in quantity, we certainly made up for in quality.  Margaret Angell started things off by winning the first race, the 3000m.  She was quickly followed by Alexandra Horowitz, who won the second heat.  A strong men's field came next, led by the coach himself winning his heat.  We don't know who came up with the odd 1500m relay (500m, 400m, 300m, 200m, 100m), but it didn't faze team Orange Scream, which won the coed division.  And anybody patient enough to hang around until 10:00 pm caught Devon Martin's first place finish in the mile.  The most popular event of the evening, however, was the 800m, which drew twenty CPTCers.  Chris Sicaras won his heat, and another heat featured five orange singlets.
  
  It wasn't all fun and games, though.  Several members lost count during the first race, and ran only 14 laps in the 3000m (including Yves-Marc Courtines, who would make up for his mistake by running all the other races, making him 8.93/9 over two weeks).  Unfortunately, the officials at these races can't keep track of everybody's laps, and some people will slip through the cracks.  Indeed, it is our counting skills rather than our running preferences that have kept us from ever attempting any race longer than a mile at the Armory.
  
  The only other problem was that the meet didn't end until 10:30, and the A train doesn't run express late at night.  The slow ride home did give us time to learn two interesting facts about Jonathan Cane:  (1) he can multiply three digit numbers in his head quickly, and (2) his idea of fun includes a race in March where he will run up the stairs of a 32-story building for three hours straight.
  
  Note:  We included splits for a couple of runners with the results.  However, we know that many other people have race splits that we didn't get a chance to copy.  Please send your splits in to rolandsoong@centralparktc.org so that we can add them to the results.
    
• UPDATES [1/30/2003]  A few updates to our stories:
   
  As we predicted, Serena Williams won the Australian Open.  She currently holds the trophies for all four Grand Slam events, but because three of them are from 2002 and one from 2003, some commentators have taken to referring to her feat as a "Serena Slam," much as the phrase "Tiger Slam" was bandied about a few years back to mark Tiger Woods' similar achievement.  Since we have a hard time conceiving of an actual "season" in either tennis or golf, we tend to think that winning all the major tournaments in a row is a worthy Grand Slam, whether or the victories come in the same calendar year.
   
  The Senate Commerce Committee held a hearing on the United States Olympic Committee Tuesday, and the committee behaved as maturely as we've come to expect.  CEO Lloyd Ward accused former ethics officer Pat Rodgers of spying on Ward's electronic calendar (Rodgers said the calendar was publicly available).  Senator Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R-CO), continued to question Ward's membership in the all-male Augusta National Country Club, saying "I wouldn't belong to any organization that had a rule that gays, women or people of color couldn't be a member.  I don't know what kind of example you are setting."  Ken Duberstein, who led the ethics investigation of Ward continued to claim that he was never asked to fill out a conflict-of-interest disclosure form.  And both Ward and USOC president Marty Mankamyer portrayed themselves as innocent victims of a smear campaign led by the other's forces (with Ward leading the staff members against Mankamyer, and Mankamyer mobilizing the volunteers against Ward).  The Commerce Committee will meet again in two weeks to begin hearing from experts on how to fix the USOC.  Replacing everyone involved would probably be a good start.
   
  In other Olympic news, track and field officials have asked Tim Montgomery and Marion Jones to explain their connection to Charlie Francis, Ben Johnson's former coach.  Francis was banned from the sport for life by Athletics Canada after Johnson tested positive for steroids at the 1988 Olympics, but no action was taken against him by any other nation.  Although neither Jones nor Montgomery will confirm the connection, they have been seen training with Francis in Toronto and Hawaii since December.  As the USOC has shown recently, the appearance of wrongdoing can be as bad - or worse - than actual transgressions.  There is no evidence the sprinters are doing anything wrong, but their secrecy is troubling.  The doping scandals have unfortunately placed a presumption of guilt rather than innocence on many top athletes.  Jones and Montgomery should explain their actions before that presumption grows stronger.
   
  The International Cricket Council (ICC) has decided that the Zimbabwe matches will be played as scheduled.  With many calling for the games to be moved to South Africa as a protest of Robert Mugabe's regime, the English players made an informal request to the ICC to move the matches on safety grounds.  The ICC declined today, saying that the situation in Harare was safe.  (Sadly, the latest crackdowns by Zimbabwean police, military and government-allied militias, mean it probably will be safe for the players, though not for the average citizen there.  Meanwhile, the government has responded to the drought afflicting the nation by ordering the government's weather service to clear all forecasts with the president.)  The ICC also ruled that New Zealand's matches in Kenya are also safe.  The Kiwis had made an official request to have their matches moved out of fear of terrorist attacks.  The ICC has been more active on other fronts, announcing that fans who wear clothing promoting non-World Cup sponsors will be ejected.
   
• DEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS! [1/30/2003]  Our resident legal scholars no doubt all remember Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire, 315 U.S. 568 (1942), in which Justice Murphy, writing for the court, discoursed at length upon "insulting or 'fighting' words-those which by their very utterance inflict injury or tend to incite an immediate breach of the peace.  It has been well observed that such utterances are no essential part of any exposition of ideas, and are of such slight social value as a step to truth that any benefit that may be derived from them is clearly outweighed by the social interest in order and morality."  315 U.S. at 572.
   
  Mr. Chaplinsky had stood in front of the City Hall of Rochester, NH shouting "You are a God damned racketeer and a damned Fascist and the whole government of Rochester are Fascists or agents of Fascists."  The test of whether such words are fighting words or not depends not on the reaction of the listener, but whether the words are "what men of common intelligence would understand would be words likely to cause an average addressee to fight." Id. at 573.  Times have changed, of course, and with them the words that cause an average person to fight.  Chaplinsky was speaking in 1940, when actual Fascists controlled most of Europe.  These days, denouncements of local governments as Fascist or Stalinist are greeted mostly with a shrug, a sigh of pity for the deranged crackpot spouting such idiocy, and occasional wonderment and how said crackpot got a job on Fox News.
   
  In a society where almost no speech can shock so much as to provoke a strong reaction, we barely gave our conversation with the Workout Reporter a second thought.  As we recall, though, the reporter suggested that he might fill his story with a lot of uninteresting drivel that had no relation to running.  While we have no objection to drivel or to non-running-related stories (before we wrote for this page, we spent more time reading this journal in an average day that we spent reading any running magazines in an average month).  We demand only that non-running stories (and hopefully running-related news, too) be interesting and fun.  While we don't recall the specific suggestion the reporter made, we do recall that it met none of our criteria, so we responded that he was free to write whatever he wanted, but we, as editor, would edit out any of the nonsense he had just suggested.
   
  And that should have been that.  Imagine our surprise, then, when we received the workout report.  It seems that our usually-reliable reporter found our editorial advice far more disturbing that any of Chaplinsky's listeners found his political rants.  (It should be noted that, despite any tendencies toward incitement present in Chaplinsky's speech, nobody actually responded with violence.  While not always a fan of violence ourselves, we have long felt that much of the stupidity in the world could be erased simply by smacking some sense into our fellow citizens.)  Instead of submitting his normal account of the goings-on of club members, he accused us of censorship (we have done none; had we cut out any objectionable material, there would have been no report left to publish), compared us to King John (we find the comparison so remote as to boggle the mind), insulted our socks (we think he's just jealous), and generally retreated into a self-righteous funk (actually his normal state).
  
  As an editor we try to strike a balance between the interests of our writers and our readers (we have, in fact, rejected many of our own ideas as being too esoteric or too controversial for this site (and you thought the stuff we did publish was strange...)), and we never expected to be able to please all of the people all of time.  Nor are we so thin-skinned as to lose any sleep over the attacks on our character.  Since the reporter suffered no real challenge to his writing, his complaints are merely theoretical objections to a potential (though unlikely) future action, and he can claim no harm here.  It is only the readers who are victims, since they are the ones who were deprived of the knowledge that Sid Howard was at his first Tuesday workout since returning from Bermuda, or that one team member tried to hide the fact that he was celebrating his 28th birthday, or that Tony Ruiz managed to get several of the more pedagogical members to tutor his son on the A train between 168th Street and 34th Street, or the dozens of other items of interest that we expected our reporter, with his "journalistic integrity" to keep us all informed of.
    
• TUESDAY TRACK WORKOUT REPORT (AS 'TWERE) [1/29/2003]  Please note that the journalistic integrity (no giggling, dammit!) of this report has been severely corrupted:  For our substitute webmaster, who shall remain unidentified, but who seems to have forgotten what happened to "King" John when King Richard came back from the East and, what is more, who was certainly wearing atrociously colored "Aloha" socks at the workout, has threatened to "edit out the nonsense" in our report.  We thought of submitting a blank report, more out of necessity than protest, for we have little but nonsense to offer.  But then the brave circular exertions of our intrepid track warriors would have gone un-noted; and, as anyone who's been to DC lately must know:  if it isn't reported, then it didn't happen.  So, for the sake of the club and of history, we will put aside our righteous and highly merited indignation at this dastardly act of foulest censorship; we duly pledge to keep this report (it's coming, worry not) safely within the cozy confines of the Real World (with our sincerest apologies for the Puckish remarks above).  Be warned, however, that the opposite of "nonsensical" is "boring and short":
   
  Thus:
  We counted 38 people at the start of the workout.  Please note the careful, suit-proof, wording of that statement.  We observed that the workout began at 8:16.  For those racing on Thursday, the assignment was perfectly symmetrical, 2x4, followed by 4x2.  The 200s were to be run at "mile pace."  The C group thus seems due for a breakthrough, given its projected 4:04 mile.  For those not racing on Thursday, there was a punishment of 2x1 mile at the end of the 200s.
   
  Oh yes, and Regina Jacobs was on the track.  She isn't slow...
    
• ALL WORKOUT AND NO PLAY [1/28/2003]  Fifty-one weeks out of the year, The Economist is filled with sober, weighty reports on politics, finance, international relations, etc.  The Christmas issue, however, focuses on less weighty subjects.  The articles in the 2002 edition addressed such important topics as Barbie, Champagne, Vietnamese Food and "The Cult of the Gym."  This last story prompted our favourite (it's a British paper, we use the British spelling) letter to the editor :

SIR – People exercise for the same reasons that they drink:  it makes them feel good but without hangovers, ill health and a depressed mood.  If only insight was accompanied by discipline, I would exercise more than I drink.

Tom Ellefsen
Bangkok

• COLOR COORDINATED [1/28/2003]  The New York Mets unveiled their new batting practice uniforms today.  We're skeptical of the Mets' chances this year, but we do admire their fashion sense.
  
  
  

WEEK OF JANUARY 21, 2003 - JANUARY 27, 2003

• I SAY, THAT'S NOT CRICKET [1/27/2003]  Craig Chilton informs us that Canada has qualified for the Cricket World Cup for the first time since 1979.  This means little to us (although our many Canadian members may be more interested), but some other cricket news caught our attention.  We reported last month on the controversy surrounding the World Cup matches scheduled to be played in Zimbabwe in February.  There had been pressure on the English team to boycott the matches as a protest to the increasingly repressive and destructive regime of president Robert Mugbabe.  Mugabe has long been more concerned with the welfare of his cronies that that of his people, but his recent economic and agricultural policies have hit new lows even for him, causing the economy to shrink by 20% in three years and causing a famine that affects two-thirds of the population.
  
  The British government made it clear that they would prefer that the cricketers not play, but refused to make the decision for them.  The England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB), faced with a potential £1 million ($1.5 million) fine from the International Cricket Council (which feels matches should be moved only if players' or officials' safety is in question), decided to participate in the games as long as safety could be assured.  Since then, the capital, Harare, has seen food riots, fire bombings, and an attempt by two of the president's top deputies to force Mr. Mugabe out of office and set up a power-sharing coalition with Morgan Tsvangirai, leader of the Movement for Democratic Change, who would probably be president right now if the last election had been even remotely clean.  When Harare's mayor admitted that he could not guarantee the security of the English cricket team or its fans, the players asked that their game be moved to South Africa, and the ECB threatened to pull out of the match on safety grounds if it remains in Zimbabwe.  The International Cricket Council is reviewing the situation, and is scheduled to report more on Thursday.
   
• MARY ROSADO [1/27/2003]  Mary V. Rosado has been selected by the USATF Masters LDR Committee to be the LDR Team Manager at the WMA Championships in Puerto Rico in July.  Anyone wanting an application and booklet should contact her by email (mvrosadoesq@prodigy.net) or telephone (212.758.2104).
  
  In addition, the USATF Women's LDR Championship Committee has selected Mary to be the Team Manager for the national team going to compete in the Yokohama (Japan) Ekiden on February 23, 2003.  Mary and the team will spend 5 days in Japan.
  
  Finally, any teams who want to be a part of the Millrose Masters Women Relay event in 2004 should have their coach send Mary their email address so that they can be included when the information becomes available.  [Mary was also the Coordinator of the Masters Women Relay event.]
   
• NEW YORK RACE REPORT [1/26/2003]  Once again, we don't have one.  We meant to run this morning, we really did, but when we woke up we knew it wasn't going to happen.  See, last night was the New York Flyers awards dinner, and we felt that, as club chronicler, we should check out what's going on with some of our competitors.  Of course it didn't hurt that we have a number of friends on the Flyers, or that we attend so many of their functions that a number of them think that we're a fellow member.  (The same is true of the Prospect Park Track Club, who also had their annual dinner last night.  We've been to both parties before, and we feel that the Flyers bash is the more fun one, although reports suggest that the Brooklyn crew may have had the better food last night).
  
  Of course this party could not compare to the CPTC 30th Anniversary Gala, but it was still a lot of fun.  And there was an open bar, so we had a few drinks.  We've often been known to run the day after a party; we once even set a 5K PR after a particularly raucous Halloween fest.  We learned a long time ago that the best way for us to overcome any of the lingering effects of alcohol is to engage in some kind of physical activity, preferably one involving fresh air.  So why skip the race?  Because we've also learned that one of the worst things we can do when we're feeling dehydrated and woozy (whether alcohol-induced or not) is to get into an automobile.  The last thing we needed to do was to ride up to the park, or subject our dad (who was providing said ride) to our uncomfortable presence.
  
  So, no race, more sleep, some Gatorade, and we were all ready to dig into the vat of chili at the annual Super Bowl party.  Of course watching the game left a worse feeling in our stomach than any amount of booze ever could (we're pretty sure the Book of Revelations has some warning about cities like Anaheim and Tampa Bay winning sports championships).  Returning home, we found a photo from the party waiting, and since the Flyers have been nice enough to put a link to our journal on their site, the least we can do it put a photo from their party on ours.  That, and we didn't have any other new photos for the front page.  Somebody, please get out there with a digital camera at one of these races!  Do you really want more photos like this up here?
   
• FAR EAST RACE REPORT [1/26/2003]  On Sunday the 26th of January I ran the first of the Kawasaki Monthly Time Trials for 2003, a 10-K race along the Tama River.  Jesus Montero is in town and was to have run as well but sent me the excuse of working at a trade show everyday from 10-6 while here.  Obviously choosing a job that interferes with running is courting disaster.  This is not true if your boss runs as well and will let you train.
  
  To the race.  Running on the banks of riverbed are nice when the weather is fine.  The week before rained a bit so the dust was packed and the dirt firm.  Despite the loose gravel covering much of the course, the flat terrain helps pacing a lot.  Unless of course you are running alone and being taunted.  Let me explain.  There are some runners who are born fast while the rest of us must train.  There are guys like Alan who are born fast AND train but they are the exception and have wisely chosen to throw in their lot with CPTC.  So at the start of the race the few rabbits jumped ahead of the pack only to fade in the second 800 meters.  After 1-k there were about four of us near the front.  The guy in front was a good 100 meters ahead and accelerating.  That left us three laggards to run hard.  Keeping to the pace instilled in me by dutifully following Coach's workout I managed to pull ahead of the third place guy at 2-k and the second place guy at about 4-k (remember there are only about 60-100 competitors total in the race so this is not the fantastic thing it seems).  That left me in second with 6-k to go.
  
  Running alone I could not see the guy in first until the turn around point at 5-k.  He was a good 800-1,000 meters in front.  He didn't look to be breathing hard.  Thinking I could psyche him out I had to pretend to be happy and unconcerned and waved to him and said "good luck".  He just ran on by.  So I pushed and pushed and pushed.  Slowly reeling in the distance as he seemed to just jog along at the final turn with 1-k to go he was less than 400 meters in front!  One lap of the track!  I know I can do it!  Less than the Stuart Mile to go.  I started to sprint (OK, not sprint just run a little faster).  With 400 to go I was within 50 meters.  Just a little more effort.  So what does he do?  He looks back and just, barely, not even moving his arms much, picks up the pace to keep the 50 meters between us until the finish!  How can he do that!??  Who was this guy who ran at an obvious sub-optimal pace, not sprint not even care enough about me and the other competitors only caring to jog to victory?  Obviously someone who was born fast, never trains and never joined a track club to know you have to give your best every time!  Final time 37:04. (5:58 per mile).
  
  Charles Allard, Jr.
   
• WEST COAST RACE REPORT [1/25/2003]  We're still adjusting to our duties here, and one area in which we need a lot of work is the posting of race results.  We do okay with the New York Road Runners races, but we're less proficient when it comes to out of town results.  A case in point:  we diligently posted Stuart Calderwood's San Diego Half-Marathon result earlier this week, but we posted his result from last year's race.  When Stuart returned to New York he pointed out the error, and sent along the following race report:

  It might be worth noting that we were delayed a minute and 38 seconds before we got onto the course.  We have to work on our baby handoffs; the horn sounded when we were in the process of putting our son Kieran in the charge of my saintlike parents (who live nearby and took care of their grandson so we could both race).  We then had to dodge through a 4,000-plus crowd in the first couple of miles; it was actually Stacy's second-best half-marathon ever when this is taken into account . She ran a much-impeded 7:44 first mile and then averaged 7:02 for the next 12.1.  Her chip time was a full minute better than her previous best time on the course, too.  Not that I'm proud of her or anything.

  Of course, we'd already caught the mistake, since Stacy Creamer had sent along own report several hours earlier:

  Stuart and I returned moments ago from our trip to California.  What do we do as soon as we're in our door?
  
  (a) Check on our five cats who seemed to have missed us terribly?
  (b) Unpack Kieran from his stroller and tuck him in bed?
  (c) Open the mail, carefully checking for unpaid bills that may now be overdue?
  (d) Fire up the computer and check the Central Park Track Club website?
  
  Answer:  (d), of course!
  
  We were happy to once again gaze upon the orange screen for the first time in more than a week.  However, we were sorry to notice that the San Diego Half result posted is from 2002!  If you can find the 2003 results, you will see that Stuart, though a year older, ran even faster and I, no longer pregnant, ran as well.  Well, maybe not as well as Stuart, but pretty well for me.  You will also notice that we both experienced the largest gap between our gun and net times.  This is because we failed to practice our Kieran hand-off.  We failed to connect with his paternal grandparents in time to make the start.  Hence the delay.
  
  Glad to be back home although only one of us (Stuart!) is sorry to have missed the severe cold.

  We're glad to see that our members have their priorities straight, and consider checking the website the most important thing to do upon returning home, but we're a little disturbed to learn that the CPTC website can not be viewed from California.

• WAR OF THE WORDS [1/24/2003]  Even a casual observer to this site would quickly realize that more than one writer deserves the credit and blame for this page.  After all (barring any late-breaking news in the world of quantum physics), a person cannot be in New York and Hong Kong at the same time.  And even if there were no geographic indicators, no one person could have so many diverse interests, keep abreast of so many different subjects, and spew forth so, so, so many paragraphs of updates every day.  Of course there is no shame in having multiple writers.  It's what keeps us from being merely a pathetic blogger -- putting forth our ill-informed opinions in the hopes that someone, anyone, will read them -- and makes us, instead, the unofficial voice of a major running organization (though it does not necessarily make our opinions any more valuable).
  
  "But," you say, "you are not the voice of anything; you are, at minimum, three voices, clearly distinguishable, and often in conflict.  Worse than being a blogger, you are actually the web equivalent of a Sunday morning talk show."  We would contest this, but the facts are against us.  A small sampling of the chaos here includes:  the Editor accusing the Tuesday Workout Reporter of insanity; the Tuesday Reporter calling the Far East Correspondent a tyrant; and the Far East Correspondent offering unceasing criticism of the Editor, the latest accusation being that the Editor is a closet Francophobe.  (In fact, we are quite upfront about our feelings towards Gallic politics and culture, and it has nothing to do with the heckling directed towards le maillot jaune.)
  
  "But," you cry, "this internal bickering has no place here!  You should keep these squabbles to yourselves, and present a unified front.  You call yourself an editor, why don't you edit all this out?"  Frankly, we're just too lazy.  It's not that we are against editing (we edit all submissions to some degree, at the very least fixing typographical errors and formatting everything in a uniform style.  The 'mangled accents' stemmed from our correspondent's decision to use a non-standard method of entering the foreign characters, which we didn't notice at first.  We have now corrected this, and those readers who speak just enough French to understand the correct words, but not enough to infer the three or four misspelled ones, will now be able to enjoy the full poems.)
  
  But if we did eliminate all the sniping and back-biting from this journal, we would then have to write more about the Olympic Committee (nothing new today) or the America's Cup (Alinghi was just fined $5,000 when its chase boats spent too much time in Team New Zealand's part of the harbor) or Reality TV (we'll spare you) to fill the empty space.  That would be a lot more work for us, and a lot less fun for you.  And remember, despite appearances, we all get along here.  At least, as long as the Far East Correspondent stays thirteen times zones away and the Tuesday Reporter remains in his padded cell.
   
• MORE FAR EAST REVIEW OF BOOKS [1/24/2003]  As it turned out, our bookshelf here contains a more recent book:  Somerset Maugham's On A Chinese Screen, published in 1960.  The preface began with: "I travel because I like to travel.  I like the sensation it gives you of freedom from all responsibility.  Time never spreads out so spaciously before you as on a journey and, though perhaps you do little of what you had in mind to do, you have the feeling that you have leisure for everything.  You have long empty hours that you can fritter away without the uneasy consciousness that time is flying and there is not a moment to waste.  Though I think the traveler is a fool who does not secure for himself such comfort as is possible I can very well do without it.  I like a good dinner, but I can enjoy the roughest and (what is worse) the most monotonous fare."
  
  The reason that we mention this book is not to use it to explain why we are traveling at this moment (note: our reasons are quite different), nor to begin a restaurant review (note: but we could ...).  Rather, we want to lead you to Chapter XLVIII, titled 'A Student of the Drama' in this book.  The chapter begins with a description of the person:

He sent in a neat card of the correct shape and size, deeply bordered in black, upon which under his name was printed Professor of Comparative Modern Literature.  He turned out to be a young man, small, with tiny elegant hands, with a larger nose than you see as a rule in the Chinese and gold-rimmed spectacles.  Though it was a warm day he was dressed, in European clothes, in a suit of heavy tweed.  He seemed a trifle shy.  He spoke in a false falsetto, as though his voice had never broken, and those shrill notes gave I know not what feeling of unreality to his conversation.  He had studied in Geneva and in Paris, Berlin and Vienna, and he expressed himself fluently in English, French and German.

In the middle of the chapter, we read:

He flattered me by asking me what were the secrets of the craft.

"I know only two," I answered.  "One is to have commonsense and the other is to stick to the point."

"Does it require no more than that to write a play?"  he inquired with a shade of dismay in his tone.

"You want a certain knack," I allowed, "but no more than to play billiards."

"They lecture on the technique of the drama in all the important universities of America," said he.

"The Americans are an extremely practical people," I answered.  "I believe that Harvard is instituting a chair to instruct grandmothers how to suck eggs."

The reason that we cite this paragraph is not to bash Americans (as that would be too easy).  Nor is it to insult the alma mater of Tom Phillips-Margaret Angell-Margaret Schotte-Lee Shearer-Sara Grillo, as the use of the Harvard here should be taken as a compliment for being the educational institution with the highest top-of-mind awareness.  Rather, we just want to point out that the student of the drama was our grandfather.

• FAR EAST COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT [1/24/2003]  We were dismayed to see someone mangled the French accent marks in our carefully typed entry a couple of days ago.  Perhaps the person is a cyclist who has not forgiven the French people who yelled 'Dope!' at Lance Armstrong last year.
   
• THURSDAY ROAD WORKOUT REPORT [1/23/2003]  Did we complain too much about the cold in last week's workout report?  If so, just transfer all those complaints to tonight's report.  How we longed tonight for the balmy 20° weather of last Thursday!  Those glorious days when the mercury reached double digits, when the arctic wind wasn't cutting into our face, when ... Actually, it wasn't all that bad tonight.  Sure it was cold and windy, but once we got moving we didn't notice the cold too much, and once we made it to the East Side and started running south the wind was at our back, so even that wasn't so bad.  Not that it was particularly fun, but we just glanced over at the shelf that has all our books on Scott, Admundsen and Shackleton's Antarctic expeditions, and realized that the weather could have been a lot worse, especially since we were probably wearing warmer clothes than some of the explorers (though not as warm as those worn by Stacia Schlosser, who claimed, with only slight exaggeration, to have on twenty layers of clothing).
  
  The workout itself was the lower five-mile loop.  Warm up (exercise-wise, if not temperature-wise) to 89th Street, then run the remaining 4.1 miles at half-marathon pace.  There were thirty people present at the start of the workout (including one unidentified runner in shorts).  Unfortunately, that number did not include the "new" Tony Ruiz.  We're guessing that he isn't the "old" Tony in his place, but nobody seemed interested in waiting around to find out, so Audrey Kingsley started the workout at 7:06 pm.  While we can't speak for the whole history of the club, this is definitely the fastest start of any workout we've been to, with the possible exception of one track workout at East River Park.  Coincidentally, Coach Ruiz wasn't at that workout either.
  
  Tony did eventually show up tonight (along with Alan Ruben, who joined the workout two minutes after the start, so the real total should be 32 people), and loitered on East Drive offering encouragement.  He was also briefly glimpsed again at the end of the workout, but we hung around the statue just long enough to make some plans for a weekend run before everyone rushed off in search of warmth and dinner.  Next week is the big Thursday Night at the Races, so our next workout report should be completely free of temperature-related gripes.  But that bookshelf got us thinking again about the Antarctica Marathon....
   
• I'M JUST WILD ABOUT SAFFRON [1/23/2003]  Yesterday, New York City approved Christo's plan to set up 16-foot tall arches with 9-foot saffron curtains hanging from them on 23 miles of Central Park pathways.  Saffron, as you may recall from our story on this subject last month, looks quite a bit like CPTC orange.  The gates will be put up for two weeks in February 2005.  Christo's website offers the following description of the work:

  For those who will walk through The Gates, following the walkways, and staying away from the grass, The Gates will be a golden ceiling creating warm shadows. When seen from the buildings surrounding Central Park, The Gates will seem like a golden river appearing and disappearing through the bare branches of the trees and will highlight the shape of the footpaths.
  
  The 16 day duration work of art, free to all, will be a long-to-be-remembered joyous experience for every New Yorker, as a democratic expression that Olmsted invoked when he conceived a “central” park. The luminous moving fabric will underline the organic design of the park, while the rectangular poles will be a reminder of the geometric grid pattern of the city blocks around the park. The Gates will harmonize with the beauty of Central Park.

  We just think it'll look cool.
  

• FIVE RING CIRCUS [1/22/2003]  After the rash of resignations at the US Olympic Committee last week stemming from the ethics investigation of CEO Lloyd Ward, we hoped the USOC would spend some time getting its act together.  Instead, the committee is preparing for next week's meeting between committee officials and Senators Ted Stevens (R-AK) and Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R-CO), by embarking on its latest attempt at total self-destruction.  Yesterday, seven members of the USOC's executive committee (all five vice presidents, the chairman of the athlete's advisory counsel and the chairman of the national governing bodies council) demanded the resignation of USOC president Marty Mankamyer. 
  
  The No-So-Magnificent Seven say that Mankamyer repeatedly brought up "questions about Mr. Ward's character, his performance of his obligations as USOC chief executive and the process by which he was selected by a search committee, to undermine Ward."  They also allege that she interfered with the ethics committee's investigation of Ward, and that she organized a campaign against him to "present the most damaging information and to present it in a way that would encourage the executive committee and the public to prejudge Mr. Ward as unfit for continued employment." 
  
  Assume, just for the sake of argument, that these accusations are true.  Mankamyer would hardly be the first person to question Ward's performance or the way he got his job.  Ward was hired despite having no experience in sports management.  He did have experience in the corporate world, but it wasn't of the sort one would normally brag about.  He resigned from Maytag in November 2000, after 15 months as CEO, due to "a difference with the board of directors over the company's strategic outlook and direction."  It seems that, in the middle of the biggest stock market boom in years, the board had the unreasonable expectation that the company's profits and stock price should actually increase.  Three months later, Ward became CEO of iMotors; five months after that, the company folded (it has since been acquired and resurrected by Next Phase Media).  Ward's tenure at the USOC has been successful only when compared against his track record.
  
  Ward's character has been called into question as well.  Some USOC officials are concerned about having a CEO who belongs to the all-male Augusta National Golf Club, and anyone who can simultaneously assert that he "made an error in judgment" but "did nothing wrong," as Ward did earlier this month, seems to have a peculiar definition of the word 'wrong.'  Then there's his assistance to Energy Management Technologies, the company run by his brother, Rupert and friend Lorenzo Williams.  Ignoring the potential conflict of interest, it boggles the mind that Ward would give EMT any assistance in obtaining a contract to supply back-up power to the Pan Am Games, since EMR has no experience with the Olympics, nor, apparently, with providing power.  The Justice Department has now begun their own investigation, stemming from Pan Am Games project manager Lowell Fernandez's charge that Williams tried to bribe him to get the disputed contract.
  
  The conspiracy allegation is more troubling, but only because if it's true, then Mankamyer would have to be one of the most comically-inept plotters in recent history.  The ethics committee (which she supposedly influenced against Ward) found only the appearance of conflict, and recommend no action be taken against him.  The executive committee followed up by not taking any action, leaving open only the possibility that Ward's bonus might be reduced by the compensation committee.  And Mankamyer's voice has yet to be heard in the growing chorus calling for Ward's resignation.
  
  While the leadership fiddles, the USOC continues to burn.  John Hancock, a major Olympic sponsor, has announced that it will no longer advertise its connection with the USOC, and other sponsors are getting antsy; members of the International Olympic Committee have been making their displeasure with the USOC clear; and at least one major donor has just withdrawn a gift.  Jim and Elmore Inscoe had pledged a 22-acre Greek garden with several existing buildings in Montgomery, Alabama (worth $5 million, along with a $5 million endowment for upkeep) to be used as an Olympic Academy.  Among other subjects, the academy was to teach ethics.
   
• TUESDAY TRACK WORKOUT REPORT [1/22/2003]  The Armory was warm last night, at least in comparison to the frigid conditions outside.  As we entered the building, we ran into fellow sufferer Jonathan Cane.  After a moment to regain our bearings, we decided that something needed to be done.  And so:  we propose that the Central Park Track Club issue an Official Resolution Against the Weather.  (Whereas we are freezing our tootsies off in the park, Therefore be it Resolved that...)  This should be as effective as our old college's recent Official Resolution Against the War.
  
  Speaking of resolution, Noah Perlis has shown great resolve in extracting an identity for the substitute webmaster from out of a great deal of hype and misinformation.  And he does indeed have it right (and no, it isn't us, we are only a yeoman reporter, not a noble webmaster).  So go bother Noah if you haven't figured it out yet.  Noah, don't tell them...
  
  Now this report, according to the recently deposed Generalissimo Soong, centers around two key numbers:  the people count and the start time.  But the integrity of both were, as we shall explain, corrupted a bit this week.
  
  First, the counting of CPTC runners, much like the national census, depends on a certain stability of population which will always be absent, given that members go off to the bathroom, stray from the group, decide to run a few more warmup laps, &c.  According to Mr. Soong, we are meant to count "those present AT THE START OF THE WORKOUT."  But that, as you may see in the next paragraph, is itself a poorly-defined concept.  In addition, the count is never helped by intentional misinformation and signal noise, provided this time by Christopher Price, who decided to yell out random numbers during the count.  Ne'ertheless, we present to you the following Objectively True statement:  "There were 41 people present at the start of the workout."  If you disagree, you must find all the people present and get a sworn affidavit.
  
  Second, the noting of the start time demands a certain degree of attentiveness from your workout reporter; and we did provide, well, a certain degree (-273 Celsius, perhaps?).  In fact, we didn't think of this weighty statistic till we were reminded of it during the warmup 200s by Jesse Lansner.  So we declared unilaterally and categorically that the workout Officially began at 8:12.  Anyone saying different will have to prove it.  (This is called "misuse and abuse of the Law of the Excluded Middle," taking the assertion "the workout began at 8:12" as our statement in question).
  
  As for the rest of the workout, it pales in importance to the above two numbers, and so we will condense it into:  Runrunrunrunrunjogjogrunrunrunrunrunjogjogrunrunrunrunrunjogjogrunrunrunrunrunjogjog, followed by three 300s.  All clear?  We will note, however (and here we make a point involving numerical calculation, thus True) that the C group should now be running 16:40 for the 5K based on its "1000 at 5K pace" pace.
  
  On the train ride home, we noted that Kevin Arlyck's habitual Tupperware o' Pasta was absent.  And Joe Tumbarello, when questioned about his dinner plans, replied, "oh granola, maybe some lentils..."  Perhaps there is a hunger strike afoot amongst the A group?  Tune in for updates.
   
• OUR FAVORITE NEWSPAPER?  [1/22/2003]  The paper of record for the USA is supposed to be the New York Times.  Indeed, years ago when we had to live in places like Santa Fe (NM) or Columbia (MD), we used to drive long ways to purchase the condensed national edition of the venerable NYT.  Right now we are living on the other side of the world, and still the NYT is available via airlift for some astronomical price.  Of course, nowadays, we can read the Internet version instead.
  
  Distance and access speed has the effect of forcing us to take a closer and deeper look at what actually transpires at the NYT.  In particular, we are covering the big story on Venezuela from the other side of the world.  Overall, we must grade the coverage by the traditional press, especially the New York Times, as APPALLINGLY BAD (or, in Spanish, MUY MALO).  It began in April 2002 when coupsters seized power, and the New York Times wrote an editorial lauding the ouster of the dictatorial tyrant.  Within one day, the coupsters were routed by a massive demonstration of people power and military rebellion, at which point the New York Times issued a meek mea culpa editorial, admitting that they were hasty in condoning an obviously unconstitutional and undemocratic coup.
  
  Fast-forward to December 2002, when Venezuela was racked by a series of business lockouts and economic sabotages.  NYT reporter Juan Forrero filed a story interviewing a small business owner and an academic political scientist, and it was noted that s similar story appeared in the LA Times, whose reporter managed to interview the same small business owner and the same academic political scientist out of twenty-five million Venezuelans.  We are left to guess if that was a sheer coincidence (with probability of twenty million or more to one), or if the reporters from rival newspapers decided to do a story together (with even more unlikely probability odds), or if the whole things was stage-managed by some unnamed parties.  Then another NYT reporter, Francisco Toro, resigned because his extracurricular activities as a political organizer for the opposition was possibly incompatible with newsreporting objectivity.  Oh, really?  And how did they ever hire him in the first place?  
  
  Why are we telling you any of this?  After all, what do you care about Venezuela (apart from rising gasoline prices)?  If there is one lesson that we can teach, it is DON'T TRUST THE MEDIA!  You should obviously treat the supermarket tabloids with skepticism, as they are more entertainment than information.  You should even regard the newspaper of record with some skepticism as well.  And then your skepticism should also extend to the 'news' that is posted on your favorite website, the Central Park Track Club website.   While the information here is not necessarily simulated disinformation, it is most often useless.  But if you treat it as high entertainment, at least you will get some value for your subscription fee (of zero dollars per month) ...
   
• FAR EAST REVIEW OF BOOKS [1/22/2003]  So here we are, a stranger in a strange land.  The comforts of our New York City home are such that we can always count on reaching for a book on our book shelves to while the hours away.  Over here on the other side of the world, the books on this bookshelf are ... out of this world.  We picked up a book titled Modern French Verse (published by Manchester University Press in 1954 and possibly the newest book on this bookshelf) and we discovered that the modern era ended with Paul Valéry's (1871-1945) Le Cimitiegrave;re Marin, which every schoolboy knows by heart:

  Ce toit tranquille, où marchent de colombes,
  Entre les pins palpite, entre les tombes;
  Midi le juste y compose de feux
  La mer, la mer, toujours recommencée!
  O récompense après une pensée
  Qu'un long regard sur le calme des dieux!

  This volume includes a poem by Francis Jammes, whom we had never heard of before.

                 Il va neiger

  Il va neiger dans quelques jours.  Je me souviens
  d l'an dernier.  Je me souviens de mes tristesses
  au coin du feu.  Si l'on m'avait demandé: qu'est-ce?
  J'aurait dit: Laissez-moi tranquille.  Ce n'est rien.

  J'ai bien réfléchi, l'année avant, dans ma chambre,
  pendant que la neige lourde tombait dehors.
  J'ai réfléchi pour rien.  A présent comme alors
  je fume une pipe en bois avec un bout d'ambre.

  Ma vieille commode en chêne sent toujours bon.
  Mais moi j'étais bête parce que tant de choses
  ne pouvaient pas changer et que c'est une pose
  de vouloir chasser les choses que nous savons.

  Pourquoi donc pensons-nous et parlons-nous?  C'est drôle;
  nos larmes et nos baisers, eux, ne parlent pas,
  et cependant nous les comprenons, et les pas
  d'un ami sont plus doux que de douces paroles,

  On a baptisé les étoiles sans penser
  qu'elles n'avaient pas besoin de nom, et les nombres,
  qui prouvent que les belles comètes dans l'ombre
  passeront, ne les forceront pas à passer.

  Et maintenant même, où sont mes vieilles tristesses
  de l'an dernier?  A peine si je m'en sourviens.
  Je dirais: Laissez-moi tranquille, ce n'est rien,
  si dans ma chambre on venait me demander: qu'est-ce?

  Very simple and none of the Greco-Roman-mythological pretensions of "Zénon!  Cruel Zénon!  Zénon d'élée!  M'as-tu percé de cette flèche ailée!  ... Pour l'âme, Achille immobile à grands pas!"  Such are the joys of the reader on a wintry night ...
  
  P.S.  Winter has a different meaning here.  In New York City, winter means outdoor temperature of 10 degrees.  Over here, yesterday is the coldest day of the year listed on the almanac and the temperature came in at ... 68 degrees.
   

• TRY SOMETHING NEW [1/21/2003]  We received an e-mail today from our cousin Karl.  We last saw Karl when he stayed with us for the 2000 New York City Marathon, and one of these days we hope to pay a reciprocal visit to him in Berlin for their marathon.  That day won't be too soon, however, as his work currently has him living in Sao Paolo and traveling all around the Caribbean (this doesn't sound like a bad deal to us, but it's not great for Karl, whose wife and daughter had to stay in Berlin).
  
  In November he was in Port of Spain, Trinidad, doing an evening run when he spotted a sign advertising an upcoming triathlon.  Even though it was now late Friday evening, with the race was on Sunday, and despite the fact that Karl had never attempted a triathlon before, he decided to sign up for the race.  He borrowed a bike, practiced a little on Saturday, and on Sunday went out and completed the Olympic distance tri.  Due to his near-complete lack of training and the small field (11 individuals plus some relay teams), Karl was, not-surprisingly, the last finisher.  He was, however, the only member of his age group there, which got him a nice trophy.  His take on his new sport?  "Triathlon is nothing special.  You only have to be prepared."  And, as we learned long ago, it's good to pick small races.
  

WEEK OF JANUARY 14, 2003 - JANUARY 20, 2003

• DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME [1/20/2003]  We don't normally read the Styles section of the Sunday Times (that's the New York Times, in case any of our British members were thinking of a different paper).  Not only do we not care about most of the topics covered there, but often we can actually feel our IQ drop with each turn of the page.  We decided to risk the potential damage to our faculties when we saw yesterday's front page article explaining how 20 minutes of weight lifting a week is better for us than the five hours of running we normally do.
  
  Just 20 minutes!  And all of it indoors!  Just think of it:  No more 20-mile runs at 7:30 am on a Saturday.  No more hour-long slogs in 15° weather.  No need to spend several hundred dollars a year on running shoes, not to mention race registrations, pool membership, and the endless, incalculable expenses that go into our bicycle (and we have a relatively cheap bicycle; imagine if we could afford the kind of bike we really want!).  This truly is, as the headline put it, a "workout revolution!"  But surely there's a catch, right?  I mean, nothing could be this good.
  
  The catch, of course, is that the whole idea is utter nonsense, as anyone who actually reads to the end of the article will discover.  After fawning profiles of the different exercise gurus (whose credentials were not specified, but their main qualification seem to be that they each have at least one celebrity client) behind this idea, the story finally gets around to quoting some actual doctors .  Dr. Tim Church, director of clinical research at the Cooper Institute (and a two-time Ironman), Dr. Edward R. Laskowski, director of the Mayo Clinic Sports Rehabilitation Center, and Dr. Eric B. Rimm, co-author of a study that examined the effects of different types of exercise on the heart (which some of the weights-only proponents incorrectly interpret to support their claims) all strongly argued for a more balanced exercise regime.
  
  But this article isn't aimed at people who read past the line that says "Continued on..." (the quacks appear on page 1, the doctors on page 9).  These trainers are looking for people who are looking for shortcuts.  The people who follow the latest fads in exercise are the same ones who will try any diet idea that promotes a 'magic bullet' ("All fat, no carbs!", "All carbs, no protein!", "Eat as much as you want except for foods that start with the letter 'L'!"), but not one that involves a balanced diet with fewer calories.
  
  The health pages in the Science Times section of Tuesday's paper are full of articles on proper nutrition, diet and exercise.  It's a shame that the rest of the paper doesn't treat these subjects as seriously.
   
• WORKOUT REPORT [1/20/2003]  Tyronne Culpepper writes:  "I arrived on time for the Thursday workout, and realized that out of the 15-20 people there, I knew no one. By the time I completed the workout, everyone was gone."  We gather from this that there were 15 prospective members present at the start of the workout, all of whom had lost interest in us by the time the workout ended.  Our own memory is that there were fewer than five people we didn't recognize (and perhaps not even that many, but some faces were obscured by hats, scarves, etc.) and that the cold air sent everyone scurrying home within two minutes of finishing the workout.
   
• SO DUMB WE CAN'T RUN AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME [1/19/2003]  Lyndon Johnson once said that Gerald Ford was "so dumb he couldn't fart and chew gum at the same time" (the media of the day sanitized fart to walk, which just goes to show you how prudish the press used to be).  We got to thinking about our own multitasking abilities while reading the January issue of Running Times.  (First we wondered why we suddenly had a subscription to Running Times, but we decided that it probably had something to do with our participation in Reach the Beach.)  Towards the back of the magazine (page 70, for those of you who are interested) their was a short article by Gordon Bakoulis about talking while running.  Gordon is apparently a fan of chatting while racing, a concept rejected by her husband, who feels that "if you have enough energy to talk during races then you're not working hard enough."
  
  We've tried talking while running (but never to Gordon, since she is always well ahead of us), and not talking (which hasn't enable us to finish any closer to Alan Ruben), but haven't decided which is a better strategy.  The only other opinion we've received on the matter came from Sarah Gross, who shouted "less talking, more running" as we passed by her during the New York City Marathon.
   
• ODDS AND ENDS [1/18/2003]  We had hoped to provide a recap of today's race, but we lacked the energy to get out of bed this morning, so we simply turned the alarm clock off and went back to sleep until well after the race had finished.  As a result the only thing we know about the race is that it was cold and that Alan Ruben won.  We would, of course, be happy to publish any account from one of our members.  This journal is for all members, not just whichever crackpot happens to have the password, and we encourage all of you to contribute anything at least as running-related as the nonsense we normally publish.
  
  Speaking of nonsense, we have a couple of follow-ups from our previous stories.  As expected, Swiss team Alinghi won the Louis Vuitton Cup, and advances to the America's Cup Finals to challenge Team New Zealand.  Less expected, but not all that surprising, was the report of further resignations at the USOC.  This time it was Steve Potts, Ed Petry and John Kuelbs, all members of the ethics committee, who quit.  The three men reportedly had supported the original report on CEO Lloyd Ward's potential conflict of interest, but resigned because they had lost faith in the USOC's commitment to enforce its own code of ethics.
   
• THE RESPECT OF ONE'S PEERS [1/18/2003]  Over the last two days we got a chance to chat with first the webmistress and then one of the webmasters of another running club.  While we are friends with both, we hadn't seen either of them in the two weeks since we took over management of this site, so this was our first chance to talk shop with them.  We were somewhat envious to learn that their programming skills have enabled them to automate much of the web updates, such as workout descriptions and race results.  Also, they have three people working on their site, easing the burden on each of them (we can claim only a passing acquaintance with the other webmaster, which kept us from hitting the trifecta for the weekend).  Our friends, however, were amazed by the sheer amount of content that can be found on this site.  The webmistress turned out to be a regular reader of the journal, and had even deduced our identity over a week ago!
   
• ANOTHER RESIGNATION [1/17/2003]  Two days after Brian Derwin resigned from the United States Olympic Committee, he was joined by Patrick Rodgers, the USOC's ethics compliance officer.  Rodgers charged that Kenneth Duberstein, chairman of the USOC's ethics oversight committee, had pressured him to drop the investigation of whether USOC chief executive Lloyd Ward improperly aided his brother's effort to obtain a contract to provide power for the Pan Am Games.  (We noticed that our previous update on this matter may have given the impression that Ward's brother was successful in his bid; he was not.).  The investigation continued, but Rodgers did agree to recuse himself.  The ethics committee concluded that Ward had not broken any rules, but had given the appearance of a conflict of interest.  Oddly enough, the report also criticized Rodgers for not preventing Ward from engaging in the questionable behavior, giving the impression that the CEO is not competent to understand the ethics code.
  
  While Rodgers believes that more members may resign, it looks like that group will not include either Ward or USOC president Marty Mankamyer.  The USOC has had four CEOs since 2000, and Mankamyer has made it clear that her paramount goal is to maintain "stable leadership" as the committee prepares for the 2004 Athens Olympics and begins to renew long-term sponsorships.  Ward's effectiveness as a leader was questionable even before this affair; further controversy will only make it harder for him to lead.  Meanwhile, a scandal-plagued organization will continue to make headlines for all the wrong reasons.  There's even the possibility of another congressional investigation.  That's stability, all right, but it's not the kind of stability they should be looking for.
   
• THURSDAY NIGHT ROAD WORKOUT REPORT [1/16/2003]  There's really only one thing to report about tonight's workout:  IT WAS COLD!!!!  VERY, VERY COLD!!!!  A sign on the side of a building we passed on the way to the workout gave the temperature as 22°, but we think it was being generous.  Even so, 34 runners showed up (and the number would have been higher if we didn't have so many members at the Armory for Thursday Night at the Races), including Jerome O'Shaughnessy, who apparently didn't feel it was all that cold, since he was wearing shorts.  Tony Ruiz, of course, agreed with the rest of us regarding the temperature, so he skipped the announcement, hurried through the workout description (something about a bunch of lamppost pickups, then two loops of the Harlem hills at 10M pace, and some more lampposts on the way back), and got us off an running at about 7:12.  After the workout, nobody showed much inclination to hang out and chat, so we saw one of the quickest dispersals in team history, with nearly half the runners heading down the West Side together.  Since most of our energy during the workout itself was devoted either towards running or towards figuring out which parts of our body had gone numb, we have nothing else to add to this account.
   
• MAN VS. BEAST [1/16/2003]  Last week we criticized reality programming in this space, but our strong sense of duty compelled us to watch FOX's Man vs. Beast last night.  For those of you who missed it, the show featured various competitions between men and animals, including:  a speed-eating competition between Nathan's hot dog eating champion Takeru Kobayashi and a kodiak bear (There's an old adage, "some days you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you."  Since Mr. Kobayashi weighs 132 lbs., and the bear weighs about 1000 lbs., it was a good thing they didn't go head to head.  In any event, the bear was a faster eater);  a Navy SEAL racing a chimpanzee through an obstacle course (the SEAL won); and, of course, 44 "little people" (their words, not ours), trying to pull a DC-10 faster than an elephant (the elephant won). (We lost our own battle with the animal kingdom when 100 monkeys banging at typewriters turned out a journal entry faster than we could.  We would post it here, but they sold it to a Hollywood production company for $2.7 million.)
  
  What makes this all relevant to a running website, however, was the 100 meter dash.  This race featured American sprinter Shawn Crawford in two heats, the first against a giraffe and the second against a zebra.  Crawford is a top 200m runner (19.85 PR), and his PR for the 100m is 9.95.  The giraffe, with an unknown PR, seemed to not have his heart in the meet. He (we actually don't know the animals' gender, so we just assigned them all a masculine one) ran with a rather odd stride, didn't appear to be trying very hard, never recovered from a slight stumble in the middle, and lost by several seconds.  The zebra didn't make the same mistakes.  He broke well from the gate, accelerated to a comfortable speed, and cruised to an easy victory of about ten meters.
  
  Six decades ago, Jesse Owens often competed against horses in exhibitions, since the racism of the day left him with few other options.  Things have changed since then, and Crawford enjoys success as a professional runner.  What he does not enjoy is a lot of name recognition.  The average American's knowledge of active track stars is, at best, limited to a vague recognition of names like Maurice Greene and Marion Jones.  We claim a bit of knowledge in this area, but we confess that Crawford's name did not ring a bell, even though we saw him compete last year in both the indoor nationals and the Millrose Games (where he won the 60m in 6.49).  We doubt Crawford's TV appearance will make him a household name in the United States, but it probably made him tens of thousands of dollars richer.
  
  Owens' races against horses were demeaning to him, and to America.  Crawford's race against a zebra enriched him.  What it says about a culture (and a web editor) who will watch anything, is unclear.
   
• A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE [1/16/2003]  Brian Derwin, a former Olympic weight lifter, resigned from the United States Olympic Committee to protest the USOC Executive Committee's decision not to discipline USOC chief executive Lloyd Ward.  On Monday, the committee, in a 15-4 vote, chose not to address the ethics of Ward's actions when he helped his brother's company get a contract to supply backup power for the 2003 Pan American Games.  Instead, the executive committee referred the matter to the compensation committee, whereupon Derwin resigned on the spot.  The USOC's ethics code requires all staff to "avoid conflicts of interest, both real and perceived," noting that "because the appearance of impropriety can be just as damaging as actual impropriety, conduct which appears to be improper is also unacceptable."
  
  The past few years have seen the bribery scandal that gave Salt Lake City the 2002 Winter Olympics, a high rate of turnover among the leadership (including the resignation of one USOC chief executive when she was found to have lied on her resume), conflicts between the USOC and the International Olympic Committee over anti-doping policy, and numerous complaints that the USOC is being mismanaged.  The executive committee's decision to ignore a clear ethics violation (whether or not Ward acted improperly, his conduct certainly fits the "appearance of impropriety" standard) gives us little hope that USOC will be able to turn things around any time soon.
   
• AUSTRALIAN OPEN & AMERICA'S CUP [1/15/2003]  We may not know much about cricket, but that doesn't mean we're oblivious to all sporting events Down Under.  In the second round of the Australian Open, Justine Henin-Hardenne defeated Anna Kournikova 6-0, 6-1.  We were rather surprised when we read this, as we were not aware that Henin now hyphenates her name (or even that she was married, since we never remember anything we read in gossip columns).  We've never been all that big a fan of Anna's, since we prefer to watch people who actually play, but we know that she attracts a lot of attention, and with it ticket sales and TV coverage.  Of course it would be nice if people paid as much attention to the players who actually win some matches on their way to an inevitable loss to Serena Williams.
  
  Meanwhile, a few miles away (actually 1337 miles away, but in the same part of the world) in Auckland, New Zealand, the Louis Vitton Cup is winding down, with Team Alinghi leading Tean Oracle-BMW 3-0 in the best-of-nine finals, and almost assured of winning the right to challenge Team New Zealand for the America's Cup next month.  Alinghi's sponsors, led by Ernesto Bertarelli have spent approximately $80,000,000.00 in an attempt to win the Auld Mug on behalf of ... Switzerland?  SWITZERLAND?????  What in the world is a landlocked country doing in an ocean yacht race?  Bertarelli is a billionaire who has been sailing since childhood, which explains his involvement (he's even been serving as his boat's navigator in many of the races), but what do the other backers hope to gain?  There is no monetary prize for winning the cup, and even the tourism boost that New Zealand has enjoyed during the competition would be of little use to the Swiss, since they have no ocean port in which to hold the next competition.
  
  Alinghi has been dominant on the waves, but back on dry land they have faced strong competition for best story.  The last few weeks have seen accusations of cheating and spying, conflicts over the rules, challenges to boat designs, captains banishing their billionaire sponsors from the boats, and splaying musical chairs with their crews.  Still, the other teams are just playing catch up with Alignhi, who have been the center of controversy for two years, ever since they hired Russell Coutts and Brad Butterworth, the captain and tactician of Team New Zealand's 1995 and 2000 cup victories, and got them to bring along a number of other Kiwis for the crew.  Since they take sailing rather seriously in New Zealand, this has not gone over particularly well, with responses ranging from billboards and websites vilifying Coutts and Butterworth to anonymous threats that have led the team to hire bodyguards for the remainder of the competition.  Look for things to get really ridiculous if Alinghi makes it to the finals.
   
• CLUB NIGHT [1/15/2003]  The New York Road Runners Club Night Party will take place on Saturday February 22, 2003 at the Hilton New York Hotel, 1355 Avenue of the Americas (between 54th and 55th street).  The schedule is:

  6:30-7:30 cocktails/silent auction
  7:30-8:30 sit-down dinner
  8:30 dessert/awards ceremony
  9:30 dancing, etc.

  Details on purchasing tickets through the team will be posted here soon.
  
  Of course, February 22 is also the first points race of the year, the Snowflake 4 Miler, followed by our annual post-Snowflake party at The Parlor.  This will be a busy day, so plan in advance, making sure that sometime between the race and Club Night you have time to shower and change.
   
• TUESDAY TRACK WORKOUT REPORT [1/15/2003]  Really, the important part of this workout report lies in the following string of numbers (along with some spaces; we avoid machine code orthodoxy for the sake of, ahem, clarity):
  
  35 810 1200 400 400 400 400 400 400 1200
  
  But if you require a little narrative with your reports, read on:
  
  The crowds were a bit more manageable this time, as only 35 (the first number above) people were present at the start of the workout (as opposed to last Tuesday's 46 person fire hazard situation).  Tony Ruiz got us onto the track in almost record time (this is pure speculation of course; he did get us out there quickly, at 8:10 (the second number), but for the historical record you must consult Mr. Soong).
  
  The workout itself was, come on now, just a workout (the distances are the remaining numbers above, but you probably figured that out by now).  Nothing interesting there, just people running around a small oval for some reason, certainly not an evolutionary one (you can't really escape a lion by running in circles, we imagine, unless it's a particularly stupid lion).  Although we did observe Jesse Lansner getting "boxed in" on the first 1200.  C'mon Jesse, show no mercy, where are those elbows?
  
  No, it was, as usual, after the workout that things got interesting.  First, we had Audrey Kingsley's impromptu (although she may have been planning it all along) modeling of the new singlets.  Ms. Kingsley also exhibited a truly subtle color sense by referring to the new singlets as "mustard," rather than the more pedestrian "orange."  Perhaps she can be brought in as a consultant with Christo's "saffron" project.
  
  Then we overheard the following dialogue:
  
  Michelle Santomassino [holding cellphone, talking to CPTC member]:  hold on, I've got a kidney offer on the line.
  
  Dion Mulvihill:  I'll sell you mine for fifty...
  
  We would like to point out to Mr. Mulvihill (and here we attempt to salvage some coherence for this sorry report by synthesizing the last two observations) that, were he to have completed the sale, he could then have bought one of the singlets, and had twenty bucks to spare.  Perhaps the new CPTC motto should be "Give a kidney, get a singlet. Plus twenty bucks!"  Patent pending.
   
• FAR EAST RUNNING NEWS [1/15/2003]  Next month's Standard Chartered Hong Kong Marathon has just closed its entries after a record 16,874 runners have been accepted.  This is amazing for a place of fairly sedentary people whose interests revolve around eat, drink, karaoke and ... nevermind.  We don't know the race course, but it starts on Nathan Road in Kowloon and ends at the Hong Kong Convention Centre.  So somewhere the runners have to traverse a harbor through a tunnel.  Anyone who has done the Lincoln Tunnel race in New York City would know that this is not easy -- a long steep downhill followed by a long steep uphill.  There will be about 40 invited elite men and women in the race.  Last year's winners were Kenyan Benjamin Matolo in 2:16:07 and Chinese Zhang Shujing in 2:36:27.  Of course, we will not be at the starting line ...
   
• LATIN [1/14/2003]  Craig Chilton asks:

  I've never had the opportunity to study Latin (or if I did, I never availed myself of that opportunity), but as a runner I know that the Asics shoe company took as its name the acronym for the Latin phrase "Anima Sana In Corpore Sano," meaning "A Sound Mind in a Sound Body."  What is the subtle difference between that Latin translation and your's ("mena sana in corpore sano")?

  We only studied Latin in 6th grade, and remember none of it, but we know from doing crossword puzzles that anima means soul.  What we didn't know is that mena doesn't mean anything.  It's a typo of ours, and should have been mens, meaning mind.  So why did we go with mens sana instead of anima sana?  Quite simply, becuase that's what we found when we looked up the quote in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations (you didn't think we actually know this stuff off the top of our head, did you?).  Still, it's unlikely that Kihachiro Onitsuka simply made up the alternative Latin when he renamed his company ASICS in 1977, so when did mens become anima, or was it anima from the start, and Bartlett's just got it wrong?
  
  A quick search around the net turned up plenty of examples of both phrases.  For the most part, the quote was just referred to as a "famous Latin saying," but both variations were also attributed to Juvenal (also known as Decimus Junius Juvenalis).  We're inclined to trust Bartlett's over random internet sites, but short of seeing an original copy of Juvenal's Satires we can't really be sure.  Still, assuming that the original was mens, we have two theories about how anima came to be used.
  
  Theory one is that over time most people became more familiar with the phrase in their native tongues than in Latin, and at some point somebody translated it back incorrectly, and by the time anybody noticed, the two variations were both equally common.  This seems a little far fetched, even for us.  The second theory is that the phrase was intentionally changed for religious reasons.  The subtle difference that Craig asks about would be from a focus on intellectual development (mens sana) to a focus on spiritual well-being (anima sana).  We found some support for this theory when a couple of websites attributed the phrase anima sana in corpore sano to St. Catherine of Sienna.  As befits a woman known for her care of the sick (among other things), the phrase is translated on these pages as "a healthy mind in a healthy body."
  
  The idea of developing both the body and the mind (or soul) probably wasn't all that original even 2,000 years ago (we seem to remember a junior high school teacher attributing it to Greek society from several centuries earlier), and it is certainly possible that Juvenal was simply writing down an already common adage, with Catherine doing the same 1,100 years later.
  
  Among the other things St. Catherine is known for is her prolific writing, with one book and 400 letters of hers surviving.  We would be curious to see any originals of either Catherine or Juvenal that could help settle this question.

• NYRRC AWARD NOMINEES [1/14/2003]  The following CPTC members have been nominated for Runner of the Year:

Tom Phillips, M45-49 Alan Ruben, M45-49 Alston Brown, M50-54 Sid Howard, M60-64

Margaret Angell, F20-29 Alayne Adams, F40-44 Yumi Ogita, F40-44 Irene Jackson, F55-59 Sylvie Kimche, F55-59

WEEK OF JANUARY 7, 2003 - JANUARY 13, 2003

• DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK FAT? [1/13/2003]  Yesterday the book review focused on Greg Critser's "Fat Land."  Today we read again that most schools eschew juice and fresh vegetables in favor of soda and junk food.  The reason for this is very simple:  money.  Preparing healthy meals costs money.  Letting outside companies install vending machines provides money.  As schools across the country see their budgets cut, they increasingly turn to non-traditional revenue streams, like vending machines while at the same time cutting their physical education budgets.  The result is that 25% of children are now overweight (and two-thirds of those are obese), and many more are probably not eating anything close to a balanced diet.
  
  What can be done about this?  Phys Ed is more often cut to save time than to save money, and many parents seem willing to sacrifice gym for the extra academic time that results.  The idea that we should strive for mena sana in corpore sano (a sound mind in a sound body) dates back at least to the writings of Juvenal nearly two millennia ago, but it seems to be generally out of favor these days, the presence of 2300 participants in yesterday's race notwithstanding.  As long as the school day stays the same length it is doubtful that students will be given more phys ed, and even an extension of the school day would be unlikely to be used for gym.
  
  Food is a different matter.  School lunches are regulated by the Department of Agriculture, which even supplies much of the food by buying up surplus agricultural products.  Last year the department spent $338 million on beef and cheese, but only $159 on fruits and vegetables, most of them canned or frozen.  An increase in financing, or at least a reallocation in favor of healthier foods could have a major impact.  Advocates have asked Congress to add $1 billion to the $10 billion school nutrition program.  The Bush administration is proposing no new financing, but the under secretary of agriculture for food and nutrition, Eric Bost, thinks there might be lots of money in weeding out students who turn out be ineligible for subsidized lunches.
  
  We don't know exactly why the administration is opposed to this small increase.  ($1 billion may sound like a lot, but as a portion of the federal budget it's puny.  As Sen. Everett M. Dirksen remarked about the budget, "a billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money.")  No doubt lobbying by agribusiness has played a role, but beyond that it's likely that the "compassionate conservatives" just don't care.  The result will be more overweight kids, with all the health problems that come with obesity, and the $1 billion we save now will cost us $100 billion down the road.
   
• SUNDAY RACE REPORT [1/12/2003]  The first New York Road Runners race of 2003 fell on a bitterly cold and windy day.  This, combined with a bland shirt, and the fact that it wasn't a point race, may explain the low turnout from our club.  Twenty brave and/or foolish CPTCers showed up to run the lower loop, with at least half that many spectating, including Toby Tanser, who had planned to take pictures, put was stymied by a camera that would not funka (that's Swedish for "work") in the cold (which means it probably wasn't a Swedish camera).  One team member confessed that he had originally shown up at 9:30 on Saturday looking for the race.  We had a hard enough time motivating ourselves for the race even once, so we are very impressed by anyone who got up to run it twice.
   
• REBUTTAL [1/11/2003]  As if to prove his insanity, Paul Bendich sent us the following retort:

  ahem,
  
  some e-inkstained wretch alleges that "Paul Bendich is an even more bizzare person in real life than his Tuesday Night workout reports would suggest."
  
  Sweetheart, you have no idea...
  
  May we also point out (please note that you can't stop us! The pointing is embedded) that the ontological statuses of the 10th and 11th words in your quote are problematic at best.
  
  Clear now?
  
  Good.

  To save the rest of you from having to look it up, ontolgy is the branch of metaphysics that deals with the nature of being.  We've never concerned ourselves much with metaphysics of any sort, since we can think of much better ways to spend our time than debating whether or not we really exist.

• NEW ARRIVAL [1/11/2003]  On December 27, Jiyon Lee gave birth to her second child, Aaron.  She adds "I hope to be contributing some marathon news this coming spring."
  
  
   
• HOUSEKEEPING [1/11/2003]  We had hoped to take advantage of a slow Saturday to catch up on all our neglected chores, both around the apartment and on the web.  Unfortunately, a late night and an early run left us too wiped out to accomplish much.  A quick nap and a bit of football later (another week, another controversial call that obscures the fact that the losing team played at a level that would embarrass most Pop Warner teams) and we found that nearly the entire day had slipped by us and we hadn't crossed a single item off of our to do list.   We wanted to get cracking on the unsorted papers covering our desk, but we knew that our duty lay in updating the web page, especially since we had race results piling up in our inbox.
   
• WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? [1/10/2003]  Actually, we know who we are, but we've noticed that many of you don't (know who we are; we assume you know who you are).  Sarah Gross sent us an e-mail addressed to "Paul", so we imagine she thinks we are Paul Bendich, or maybe Paul Sinclair (we aren't).  Noah Perlis took the following guess at our identity:

  You are likely female, not a sprinter or middle distance specialist, younger rather than older, with perhaps a graduate degree within the last 5 years, not very new to the team, and not originally from New York City.

  We're unsure what led to these deductions.  Our running preference can no doubt be inferred from the fact that we are present at the distance runners' workouts.  Our age, we would guess, is based on the fact that we still share an apartment with roommates (we sincerely hope this is not the case when we are older rather than younger).  As for the rest, we struggled to figure out the logic behind the guesses (and until we see any evidence we will neither admit nor deny the claims).  Are we perhaps not cynical enough to be a native New Yorker?  Does our tendency to ramble on for endless paragraphs without saying anything relevant peg us as a graduate student?  (We believe that our skill at padding weak material until it fills several pages was fully developed by high school, if not before.)  And just what is it in our entries that implies a gender?
  
  We tried to analyze some of the other writers on this page to see if we might notice clues to their identity in their writing, but all we could deduce is that Roland spends a lot of his time thinking about things that we can't understand (like statistical analysis and cricket), and that Paul Bendich is probably insane.  This latter assessment is no doubt influenced by the fact that Paul is even more bizarre a person in real life than his Tuesday workout reports suggest.
   
• THURSDAY ROAD WORKOUT REPORT [1/9/2003]  We wondered if tonight's seasonable weather would bring out substantially more runners than last week, but the final total was 46 people, only four more than last week (plus, of course, Kieran Calderwood, who is well on his way to a lifetime attendance record).  Tony Ruiz started his introductions at exactly 7:00 pm (at least according to his watch, although some of us would question his punctuality).  Tyronne Culpepper complained "Yumi Ogita and I raced over here from the subway because we'd heard about the 'new' Tony Ruiz plan, but it looks like he's already back to his old form."  In fact, the workout started at 7:14 pm, which ranks somewhere between the new and old Tony schedules.
  
  The workout started going south to Tavern on the Green, a pick up at the "Stuart Mile" (at 4-mile pace), recover through the 72nd Street transverse and back, and then a two mile pick up (at 10K pace) up the East Side and through the 102nd Street transverse.  After a recovery to 88th Street, we ran a final mile (again at 4-mile pace) back to the statute.  It all seemed like a fairly simple concept, but we hadn't even started running when a debate began on what, exactly, our 4-mile and 10k paces were.
  
  You might think that we are all smart enough to remember our paces, or at least to figure them out when we read the workout e-mail, but it seems we always wait for the last minute, and then make up some pace that may or may not be related to our actual race pace.  In the end, Zeb Nelessen decided that his 10K pace was about 5:55/mile (which would be about a 37:00 10K), while Paul Bendich felt that a 6:40/mile pace would probably be too fast (which just barely gets him in under 42:00 for a 10K).  We would criticize them both for not belonging in the 39-42 group, if it weren't for the fact that Zeb didn't lead the group, and Paul wasn't the last runner in the group to finish.  (Nor would we be the one to cast the first stone here, as we have run a sub 39 minute 10K ourselves.)  The day may not be far off when the team is forced to abandon the idea of separate groups in favor of one large mass that splits itself up as the workout progresses.
  
  The most amusing moment of the workout came when a runner we passed asked "Is this some kind of group thing?  You guys are really hammering!" and an unidentified teammate of ours responded "No, it's a torture thing."
   
• PHOTOGRAPHER WANTED [1/9/2003]  We are able to substitute for the regular webmaster in many ways, but there is one prominent exception.  Since we do not have a digital camera (and will probably be running at the time), we cannot take photographs of this Sunday's Fred Lebow 5 Miler.  Hopefully, some of the other team photographers will be out there to document this event.
   
• CHEATERS, PART 2 [1/9/2003]  Last week it was Violetta Kryza having her winning time in Pittsburgh disqualified.  Yesterday the New York Road Runners announced that Olivera Jevtic of Yugoslavia had been stripped of her third place finish in the 2002 marathon after testing positive for ephedrine.  Unlike Kryza, Jevtic has not been suspended from competition, although she did forfeit the $45,000 she had won.  We assume the discrepancy in the penalties is in some way related to the two athletes testing positive for different substances, but we cannot verify this as Pittsburgh officials have not identified the drug that Kryza used.
   
• CARS OUT OF PROSPECT PARK! [1/8/2003]  We don't know how much of this is due to all those petitions we keep signing, but the Department of Transportation (DOT) just announced new restrictions on cars in Prospect Park.  While previously cars were allowed in the park 24 hours a day on weekdays during the winter, starting January 21 drivers will be allowed in the park only from 6:00 am - 9:00 am and 4:00 pm - 7:00 pm.  While it's not the total ban we continue to hope for, it is nonetheless an important change, and not just for the Brooklynites on the team (although since that group includes Tony Ruiz, Eric Goetze and Kevin Arlyck, we expect many of them to outrun any automobiles they should come across).
  
  Some advocates of car-free parks feel it is harder to get restrictions in Prospect Park that in Central Park.  Why?  Because DOT Commissioner Iris Weinshall lives directly across the street from Prospect Park, and is worried that banning cars from the park will cause more traffic in front of her apartment, despite the fact that nearly all traffic experts agree that banning cars from the park will probably lead to less traffic on the surrounding streets.  Regardless of the effect on traffic, cars do not belong in the park any more than runners belong on the BQE.  Hopefully the DOT will soon realize this.
  
  While numerous civic groups and elected officials support either a total ban on cars in the parks, or at least a temporary ban in order to test how well such a policy would work in the long term, there are some who are notably absent.  At the top of this list are Mayor Michael Bloomberg (although his other traffic policies show an understanding that the automobile is not king in New York, so we hope he will change his mind), Manhattan Borough President C. Virginia Fields, Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz (who both seem hopelessly tied to a "windshield perspective"), and, amazingly, the Central Park Conservancy and the New York Road Runners Club.  It is regrettable that the borough presidents will let their personal preference for cars prevent them from doing the right thing, but the silence of these two organizations on an issue that is so important to their core purposes mystifies us.  We know that some of our members are in positions of influence at the Road Runners Club, and we hope they will be able to push the club into taking a stand against cars in the parks.
   
• TUESDAY TRACK WORKOUT REPORT AND SHORTEST CHOCOLATE CAKE RECIPE IN HISTORY [1/7/2003]  First, to show our dedication to this reporting job, we offer the following dedication, which first appeared in a 1759 running journal:

  My Lord,
  
  I maintain this to be a dedication, notwithstanding its singularity in the three great essentials of matter, form, and place:  I beg, therefore, you will accept it as such, and that you will permit me to lay it, with the most respectful humility, at your Lordship's feet,--when you are upon them,--which you can be when you please,--and that is, my Lord, when ever there is occasion for it, and I will add, to the best purposes too.  I have the honour to be, [Your Tuesday Night Track Workout Reporter]

  On a related note, and to begin the report from the end (non-linear narratives have enjoyed great currency since Pulp Fiction, doncha know), we, along with Christopher Price (the president of a certain book club, as attentive readers will no doubt recall), were accused by a certain female runner of being "overeducated."  This runner went to Harvard, of course, so this shouldn't be taken too seriously.  Nevertheless, in our defense, we must point out, "de tényleg csak nagyon hülyes vagyunk!" [the workout left us a bit, er, famished, you understand]
  
  To further avoid anything to do with running, may we point out that, once again, Joe Tumbarello won the Tuesday Night Fashion award.  The hip streets of Williamsburg will influence even a high school teacher, we guess.
  
  Ok, fine, to legitimately exist within the 'track workout report' medium, perhaps we must actually "report the workout," although it really has been done to death, doncha think?  Well, anyway, here's a sop for the reactionaries:
  
  The workout started a bit late, around 8:15.  But Coach Tony Ruiz cannot be accused of breaking his New Year's resolution; for we weren't let in till 8:00 by the Armory staff, so it wasn't his fault at all (full disclosure: we received no funds of any kind from Mr. Ruiz).  Continuing with the subject of new year's resolutions, there were 46 people present at the start of the workout, which quite overwhelmed the old A/B/C/D group paradigm, since 46 divided by 8 was (and is) a bit more than 4, we fear.  Somehow, this problem was overcome, and we ran our 6X600, followed by 3X300.  On the last 300, Zeb Nelessen made an important innovation in semiotics: apparently, he discovered that the utterance "we'll do this one at 55 seconds" has the same meaning as "we'll do this one at 50 seconds and leave the workout reporter gasping for air."  Oddly enough, "well do this one at 56 seconds" had the exact same meaning on the first 300 meters.
  
  Finally, also on the subject of information exchange, we received some positive feedback from the Armory public address gentleman:  "Central Park and Front Runners, good job staying in your lanes!"  Now if we can only transfer this good behavior to the roads...
   
• REALITY TV [1/7/2003]  It has been pointed out that much of the information in this journal is useless (although entertaining), and having been in charge of it for several days now, we find this assessment difficult to contradict.  However, having been granted this platform from which to discourse, we feel an obligation to not just entertain, but also to educate (although we use that term very loosely).  We considered, like the regular webmaster, simply commenting on a nearby book, but the closest book at hand was The Return of the King by J.R.R. Tolkien, which we just finished, and we would need far more space than we care to use here to list all our criticisms of the book.  (A party guest who kept referring to the differences between the Lord of the Rings book and film editions as differences between the movie and "real life" asked us why we were still reading the book if we dislike it so.  We can only say that we like to finish what we have started, a mindset that has led to many slow, painful races finishes instead of more sensible DNFs.)  Rather than try to read an entire book in one night in order to comment on it (which would remind us too much of our college days), we offer the following commentary on reality programming instead.
  
  We normally don't care much for the entire "Reality TV" genre (which we feel usually has little or no connection to reality anyway).  We couldn't tell you where half the Survivor shows took place, have no idea who was on Big Brother, and never even figured out the premise of The Mole.  Occasionally, however, a show comes along that seems worth a try, and last night that show was Joe Millionaire, broadcast, of course, on FOX.  FOX, you may recall, used to dominate the reality field with shows like When Animals Attack and World's Scariest Police Chases 4.  A few years back, FOX was responsible for Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire, which ended with a quick annulment and the revelation that the groom did not actually have a million dollars, but did have a restraining order filed against him.
  
  This debacle was seen at the time as the end of reality programming, but rumors of its death turned out, sadly, to be exaggerated.  (The story goes that when Mark Twain was asked about a report that he had died, he replied, "Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated."  While this quote has become well known over the years, another version (which we prefer) has it that the reporter merely asked Twain if he was dying, to which he replied, "We are all dying, but I don't know that I am doing it any quicker than anyone else.")  The fuss over FOX's specials has barely quieted down when the success of Survivor, resurrected the genre, transforming the typical reality show went from an occasional sweeps-week special to a full-length series.
  
  Since then reality shows have taken over the airwaves, but all the new shows took themselves too seriously, with too many pretensions towards art.  What Reality TV needed was a return to its roots.  It needed a show that was sleazy.  It needed a show that was exploitative.  It needed a show that started in the gutter and never tried to claw its way out.  It needed, in short, a show from FOX.  Oh, sure, FOX had tried before with Temptation Island (couples are tempted to become singles again) and Love Cruise (singles are tempted to become couples), but both those shows got too bogged down in arcane rules for anyone to actually follow the action on the field (kind of like the NFL playoffs...).
  
  So it happened that at 9:00 pm last night we found ourselves in front of the TV in hopes of seeing further evidence of the decline of Western civilization.  The premise of the show, for those of you who've missed the ads for it, is much the same as The Bachelor:  a wealthy man chooses a potential bride from a group of women, eliminating a certain number of contestants at the end of each episode, until he is left with one woman whom he proposes to.  The twist in Joe Millionaire is that the bachelor in question does not actually have the $50 million he supposedly inherited, but is just an average Joe making $20,000/year.
  
  This time around FOX had the sense to eliminate the complicated rules, but somewhere along the way the producers eliminated all the fun as well.  The only joke is that the women's judgment is clouded by his imaginary fortune (no doubt they were cast for this very reason), and they tend to be overly impressed by his talents as a result.  It's not enough to make one hour interesting, let alone seven.  We had thought the genre might be redeemable, but we've learned our lesson  From now on, we'll get our unscripted entertainment form ESPN.
   
• CHARITY [1/7/2003]  Sandra Scibelli is helping to organize a marathon fundraising team to run the Vermont City Marathon.  She is looking for runners and committee members to organize the event.  Runners of all abilities are welcome.

  Charity:  Teach For America (http://www.teachforamerica.org)
  Marathon:  Vermont City, Burlington, VT
  Date:  May 25, 2003
  Fundraising obligation:  $2,000
  Each runner receives:  entry to race, transportation to VT, accommodations in VT, organized training runs

  E-mail Sandra Scibelli for more information.
   
• NEW MEMBERS [1/7/2003]  The following new members were accepted at the Executive Committee meeting on January 6, 2003:

  - Thierry Beniflah
  - Bob Holliday
  - Edward Kasparek
  - Dawn Schneider
  - Maureen Upton
  - Shai Waisman

  Recruitment points go to Sid Howard, Audrey Kingsley, Shula Sarner and Roland Soong, with honorable mention (but no points) for two new recruits to Tony Ruiz.  Check out the full recruitment scoreboard for more info.