This page is intended to immortalize the words of Central Park Track Club people. As is customary for this web site, everything is supported by factual details (dates, places, witnesses, photographs, audio-visual clips, etc.). This page will grow over time, but obviously that will depend on your contribution of new stories.

#900. WHO:  Roland Soong
SUBJECT:  Central Park Track Club website editorial policy
WHAT HE WROTE: "Recently, we received a request by a member of another club to post an editorial comment, to which we respectfully declined.  This website was created for the members of the Central Park Track Club.  It is a privilege for the outside world to be able to visit this intra-net site, and they have no rights whatsoever with respect to our editorial contents and policies.  We are not a broadcast television station which uses public airwaves and which must provide public services in order to hold on to that license.  Generally, we will publish information on, by and from our members, but anything coming from the outside will be published at our discretion, just as the New York Times will selectively publish from the many letters to their editors.  Most running clubs have their own websites where they can expound their viewpoints.  Just because we have what is by far the most popular running club website around does not mean that we have to provide a public forum for others."

#899.  WHO: General membership
SUBJECT: Toby Tanser
WHAT THEY ARE ASKING: "Why is every item on the website about Toby?"
COMMENT #1: Why not?
COMMENT #2: Really?  Let us see ... we'll just have to get him to win less often, write less and talk less ... and that would be a tragedy.

#898. WHO: Sid Howard
WHEN:  Road workout, May 4, 2000, consisting of two times around the four mile loop in Central Park
WHAT HE SAID: "This is my longest workout in a long time.  I was waiting for me to die any minute near the end of the workout."  
COMMENT: Unfortunately, we are somehow not convinced that Sid really knows the experience of death.

#897.  WHO: Carmine Petracca
WHERE:  New York Runner, May/June 2000 issue
WHAT: A full-page ad for the Race Against Teen Smoking has a photo of him accepting an award in the 1999 edition of the race

REFERENCE:  Trivia Quiz #3, Item # 2

#896.  WHO: Unnamed female triathlete not with the Central Park Track Club
SUBJECT: Michael Trunkes
WHAT SHE SAID: "Oh, do you mean the stud guy?"

#895.  WHO: Ian Brooks, NYRRC Master of Ceremony
WHEN: L'Oréal Twosome 10K, 2000
SITUATION:  When Ian Brooks announced that the overall female winner was Gordon Bakoulis, Alan Ruben (see photo) walked up to receive the prize.
WHAT HE SAID: "You are not Gordon Bakoulis!"
COMMENT:  In the photo, the unhappy expression on Alan's face is not necessarily as a result of Ian's comments, but reflects the problems that the Ruben-Bakoulis household faces with respect to the storage of the numerous trophies accumulated over the years.  On this particular day, they would receive five different trophies (overall female winner, two for overall first couple, two for first combined age 80-99 couple).

#894.  WHO: John Megaw
QUESTION: "So ... what's new on the website?"
COMMENT: What's new?  How can we describe it?  There is something new everyday on this website ... so you stay away at your own risk.

#893.  WHO: Toby Tanser
SUBJECT: Fleet Empire State Building Run-Up, 2000
WHERE: New York Runner, May/June 2000
WHAT HE WROTE: 
"Everyone can relate to stairs.  We all use them.  But 1576 of them?  And trying to scale those stairs at a competitive pace?  How would one go about training for such an event?  These questions and more led me to a spectator's role this year, with a goal of competing in next year's edition.

Sitting against the wall I recognized one of New York's premier Masters running couples, Stacy Creamer and Stuart Calderwood of Central Park Track Club.  Stuart was talking tactics, and as both are savvy racers on the New York scene, I decided to eavesdrop.  "It's not the best runner that will win this event.  There'll be those runners who have done months of specific training for this one event ... like the April Fool's Backward Mile ... there's always one," said Stuart.

Stacy, who ran a very commendable fifth last year, was giving advice to the novice Stuart, "Steady gets the job done.  I remember running last year for what seemed ages and looking up to see I have only cleared about twenty floors."

As I looked around, I noted that many of the competitors were not strictly from running backgrounds.  I saw the local he-man of the triathlon circuit, an ex-pat British guy named Scott Willett.  Apparently this guy is a virtual destroyer when it came to pain events.  There was another triathlete, Ramon Bermo, who looked in good shape, though he told me he'd ruined his chances by running down flights of stairs in his last training session --- his calves were like stringy mincemeat.  I had picked up another good training tip:  Run up stairs, and take the elevator down.

... What about the views?  Well, many of the runners did not remember much about the observation deck, but a few lingered to admire the views.  And surprisingly, one of the real New Yorkers, hardened veteran Stuart Calderwood, took this race as an opportunity to go up the Empire State Building for the first time in this life.  "I'll do a bit of training for it next year and compete."
"But did you enjoy the views?"  I asked.
"What?"

Ah, well ... can't have it all, can we?"

#892.  WHO: Amazon.com
TO WHOM: Customers who purchased books through our Amazon.com affiliate program
WHAT WAS WRITTEN: "Dear valued customer, I have an extreme case of spring fever. And Amazon.com's new Lawn & Patio and Kitchen stores have a lot to do with it.  Our Lawn & Patio store has everything you need to spruce up your yard. Weber grills, Black & Decker mulching mowers, Fiskars tree pruners--the selection is amazing. And if it's information you're looking for, we've got buying guides and articles that will turn brown thumbs green and green thumbs greener.  Does spring bring out the chef in you? Then try our new Kitchen store. It's brimming with thousands of culinary essentials for novices and gourmets alike. Calphalon, Cuisinart, Henckels, KitchenAid--we've got all the top brands. While you're there, check out our hands-on editorial reviews and fresh ideas for springtime entertaining from world-renowned chefs and celebrities.  So stop by Amazon.com today. And get the things you need to make the most of the season.
P.S. Our other stores are joining in the excitement of the Lawn & Patio and Kitchen store openings too. - In Books, save 40% off all American Horticultural Society titles and Cook's Illustrated titles. - In Toys, ride-on bubble mowers and Easy Bake Ovens are 50% off. - In Software, enjoy a $20 rebate on the deluxe version of Complete LandDesigner 3-D Design software.  P.P.S. I hope you enjoyed receiving this message."

COMMENT: Thank God we live in New York City ... just think about all the things that we don't have to worry about ...

#891.  WHO: John Scherrer
WHAT HE SAID: "Why is the youngest person the most often injured while the 40-year-olds are training and racing all the time."
COMMENT FROM John Scherrer: "For the latest famous saying, you should use a question mark, not a comma.  Also, you should invite responses and forward them to me.  It wasn't a rhetorical question."

#890.  WHO: Tony Ruiz
WHEN: May 2, 2000
WHERE: East River Park track
WHAT HE SAID: "If you stand on the track and get run over by other runners, I will have no sympathy for you.  It is your responsibility to pay attention to what is happening on the track."

#889. WHAT: Snippets of conversation heard at the L'Oréal Twosome, April 29th, 1999

Person 1:  Why do we have to go to the Starbucks on the East Side?  It is so far away.
Person 2:  You have something against the East Side, like the rest of them.
Person 1:  Yeah?  (pause)  But I live on the East Side.

Person 1:  You did not take any pictures of me changing, did you?
Person 2:  Yes, I saw you changing.  No, I did not take any pictures.  (pause)  What do you think I am?
Person 1: (pause)  I think you like to take pictures of people changing.
Person 3:  Toby is changing!
Person 1:  And Tyronne is changing too!
Person 2:  So ... ?

COMMENT:  You gotta be there ...

#888.  WHO: Carol Tyler
WHEN: L'Oréal Twosome, April 29th, 1999
WHERE:  Two hundred meters before the finish line, as the runners stream in
WHAT SHE SAID: "I can't see that far, but I take it that it is the voice of Stacy Creamer cheering down by the finish line."
COMMENT: Who else? (see Famous Saying #824)

#887.  WHO: Sid Howard
SUBJECT: A veteran's prediction about the Penn Relay 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "We'll be running so late in the day that only the janitors will be left in the stands."
ACTUAL FIELD REPORT FROM Noah Perlis: "We ran at 6:40pm and there were only 2 corporate relays after us. The janitors were gone from the stands, but the mice came out to watch."

#886.  WHO: John Kenney
SUBJECT: That bright orange jacket (Pearl Izumi)
WHAT HE SAID: "There was a MAC cross-country race where the registration tent was set up by the hillside.  I looked across the playing fields in the direction of the train station, and I could see thirty, forty orange jackets among the people walking in this direction.  Now that was a sight to behold!" 

#885.  WHO: Eden Weiss
WHEN: Track workout, April 25th, 2000
BACKGROUND: Our workouts are facilitated by timers who call out split times.  Since these timers are volunteer club members who contribute their valuable time, it would be courteous to thank them.
WHAT HE SAID: "Thank you for coming down today to tell me how slow I am."

#884.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
WHEN:  Post-race comments after winning the 1999 NYRRC Cross-Country Championships
WHERE:  New York Daily News, November 23, 1999
WHAT HE SAID: "Running helped me quit smoking five years ago."

#883.  WHO: David Pullman
WHEN:  Tuesday track workout, April 25th, 2000
SITUATION:  Upon learning that stevprefontaine@hotmail.com has just signed up for the Central Park Track Club e-mailing list
WHAT HE SAID: "I hope that he comes to the workout today, because he is not going to get past me."

#882. WHO: Gordon Bakoulis
WHERE: Running Times, June 2000 issue
SUBJECT:  U.S. Women's Olympic Marathon Trials
WHAT SHE WROTE:  "I don't need to tell anyone reading this what an indescribable feeling it is to finish a well-run marathon.  I had only one thought during the tough, hot final miles:  Go, go, go.  I didn't think about my kids or my husband or my job or anything else except giving the race everything that was left in me ... Then I moved on through the chutes.  I had to find my family.  I wanted to share my joy with them, and I was sure that after three hours, Sam would need to breastfeed."

#881.  WHO: Yves-Marc Courtines
WHEN: Thursday, April 20th, 2000, 10:07pm
SUBJECT:  Timely posting of description of workouts
WHAT HE WROTE: "What's the point of dutifully checking the site if nothing new's been posted?  It's already well past 10 pm. --- just kidding."
COMMENT: "What's the point of sending in notes that will provoke our ire?  Unless you relish massive retaliation on a scale that is completely incommensurate with the original offense ... and we're not kidding!"

#880.  WHO: Tony Ruiz
TO WHOM:  Brian Marchese
SUBJECT:  It is axiomatic that long training runs should be done at moderate pace, and sprint finishes are absolute no-no's.  When Brian claimed to have done a slow long run ...
WHAT HE SAID:  "Is that your final word?  Yes or no?"
WHY:  Independent witnesses have submitted prior depositions to the contrary ...

#879.  WHO: Jesse Brewer
TOPIC: Running Relays 
WHAT HE WROTE: "1998:  things are looking up again, thanks to the privilege of running with New York's Central Park Track Club during my sabbatical leave at Columbia Univ. (1997-98) Not only did I get whipped into shape chasing such greats as Sid Howard, but I got to run relays with them. I love relays. The high point was winning the M50+ 4x100 (and breaking the old American record in the M50+ 4x400, although it was only good for 3rd place) at the Penn Relays in April (23-25).  Actually I didn't win; William Overby, Ron Johnson and Ken Brinker did - I just ran a leadoff leg that was not too slow for them to make up, at least in the 4x100.

The great thing about running on a relay is the charge you get from being part of something greater than yourself, an intimate sense of team spirit and mutual enterprise that is otherwise rare in T&F, which mostly emphasizes individual achievement. Fired by that charge, I almost always run a second faster on a 4x400 than I ever can in the open 400.

The downside of a relay is that when you just barely miss winning (or a record) it is really hard to let go of the feeling that you have let your teammates down -- if only you had squeezed out that extra bit.... (It doesn't help much to know they are probably feeling the same way.) In an individual event, it seems easier to cheerfully accept that you did pretty much the best you could and got beat fair and square.

I have a friend who used to counsel Viet Nam vets. She said their most devastating psychological dilemma (and one of the most common) was the awareness that those moments of life-or-death, now-or-never, win-or-lose, putting it all on the line -- for all their pain or terror -- were the most exciting experiences they had ever had. They couldn't stop reliving them, no matter how much they suffered during or as a result of them. Everything else seemed less real by comparison, like sleepwalking. Serious conflict. Although I can't pretend to know what they went through, never having been there, I feel sure that Masters T&F competition would make an excellent therapy! That "Gulp!" feeling is something we need in our lives to connect us securely to the "Here and Now." What a pity if it were experienced only as a cause for shame. Perhaps one of the main purposes of civilization is to provide occasions like the Penn Relays where it can be a source of exultation without anyone getting seriously hurt."

#878.  WHO: Tony Ruiz
SUBJECT: The 10-10-10 approach to marathon racing
BACKGROUND:  A couple of weeks before the 2000 London and Boston marathons, he published his strategy paper.  So how did it do for our runners?

WHO: Eve Kaplan (Boston Marathon)
WHAT SHE WROTE: "I wanted to thank Tony for his 10-10-10 approach ... which I managed to do entirely BACKWARDS, going out in 7 minute miles (too fast), hitting an 8:22 at mile 21 where I stopped and threw up on some innocent bystander's shoes, and finished the last 10k hanging on to sub-7:40s... Maybe next time I will run the course backward and get the 10-10-10 approach right! Anyhow, it was a PR for me so I am not complaining."

WHO: Colin Frew (London Marathon)
WHAT HE WROTE: "My limbs ache.  It was a nasty last 6 miles.  The 10-10-10 sucked for me! Also the carbo depletion does not inspire confidence as you still feel weak on the Friday evening!"

COMMENT:  These comments are not meant to be criticisms.  After all, everyone wants to finish strong and feeling good (like Alan Ruben).  Unfortunately, the problem is that we don't always know what that 'reasonable' initial pace is on any given day.  And that is when we die like pigs ...

#877.  WHO: Julia Casals
WHERE: Boston Marathon 2000
SUBJECT: Orange envy
WHAT SHE WROTE: "The  Hitachi team from Japan has even brighter orange, if you ever thought that could be possible! It's like an alien orange."

#876. WHO: Rich Hollander
WHEN: The night after the Boston Marathon, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE: "I had a PR of over 4.5 minutes, and Eve (Kaplan) and Margaret (Angell) had PR's too.  I attribute mine to my joining the Central Park Track Club this winter.  My running has dramatically improved as a result of our workouts and the camaraderie makes it a lot more fun in getting there."

#875.  WHO: Mark Guralnick
WHERE: Running Times
WHEN: April 1999 issue
TITLE: The Holy Grail 

Many marathoners dream of running a qualifying time for the Boston Marathon.  Some achieve their goal, others fall short.  Then there is the case of Eden Weiss.

Eden is 51 years old, and over the past 20 years he has completed 22 marathons in pursuit of a Boston qualifier.  With times of 2:57, 3:04 and 3:07 on certified courses, you'd think Eden would have long ago won the privilege of lining up in Hopkinton on Patriot's day.  Remember, though, that Boston's qualifying times once were much more stringent than they are today.  Eden ran those times between 1982 and 1984; he was in his 30s, and back then the Boston qualifying mark for men for under-40 was a daunting 2:50.  The Boston Athletic Association loosened its qualifying standards in 1987 and again in 1990.  Under today's rules, men aged 35 to 39 need to run sub-3:15 to qualify.

Based on his early-80s performances, Eden did not envision that he would have a problem running a qualifying race under the new standards.  Yet, with Boston's 103rd edition around the corner, Eden has yet to realize his goal.  A tortured history of near misses, punctuated by periods of injury, have frustrated him for 15 years.  Many runners would have abandoned the quest, figuring the dream of qualifying just wasn't meant to be.  But Eden continues to pursue his goal, although his most recent performances was a disastrous 3:59:58 in last November's New York City Marathon.

Plenty of runners have been in the sport as long as Eden has.  But how many have pursued the same singular goal for so many years without giving up?  Why has Eden continued to train year after year when most others would have shifted priorities?  To find out, I visited Eden at his Brooklyn, NY, apartment.

Eden, who has worked for the New York City Department of Probation for 21 years, enthusiastically greeted me at the door.  Acting as docent, he ushered me into his running "shrine."  We spent 45 minutes in the living room and bedroom as Eden meticulously identified each of the many race photos and medals adorning the walls.  The centerpiece of the Eden Weiss Collection was his runner's quilt --- you know, the kind made out of race t-shirts stitched together in squares.  Eden carefully gathered together the shirts from events associated with his fondest memories and sent them to a company that would piece them together into a bed quilt.  After receiving Eden's order, a company representative called to inform his that he was the only person ever to send a placement diagram and tag each shirt for the quilt's design.  That is quintessential Eden: When it comes to running, no detail is overlooked.

But Eden is not focused just on his own running; he is in love with all of the sport.  He has been a member of New York's Central Park Track Club since 1991, and a member of Prospect Park Track Club in Brooklyn for 13 years before that, and attends as many twice-weekly group speed workouts as his schedule permits.  He subscribes to five publications on running, and his bookcase is filled with running books and videos.  This is a man who takes the day off from work every Boston Marathon Monday so that he can watch the race live on TV at home.

This passion for the sport is key to understanding why Eden hasn't given up on his dream of running in Boston.  The quest for a qualifying mark means more to him than actually achieving that goal, he says.  "The pursuit and love of the sport, the competitive drive to achieve and living through the training and racing are what motivate me," he says.

As a 13-year-old boy, Eden watched Abebe Bikila on TV win the 1960 Olympic Marathon over the cobblestoned streets of Rome.  Soon after, he tried out for his high school track team in the Bronx.  Eden had trained all summer for the two-mile run on the track.  Unfortunately, during the tryout the coach didn't keep an accurate count of the laps.  He would not believe that four-foot, 10 inch, 98-pound Eden had completed the run so quickly, and told him to run additional laps.  Heart-broken, young Eden walked away from the track and from running.  He took up swimming, became captain of the Taft High School swim team and set school records in the freestyle and butterfly.

Eden continued to follow the sport of running, but it wasn't until 1978, when he was 31, that he returned as a participant.  That summer, he joined a friend who was training for the New York City Marathon for a five-mile run.  The experience rekindled Eden's passion for the sport.  He decided to train for the marathon too, and would up running it for 4:02.  By 1982, Eden had become serious around training, and it paid off.  He went on a streak of 33 PRs in 36 months that included his crowning achievement, a 2:57 time at the Penn Relays Marathon in 1984.  "I was as happy as if I'd won an Olympic gold medal,"  Eden recalls, "but of course, that was not good enough for Boston in those days."  Eden was 37.

Between 1985 and 1987, Eden suffered from plantar fasciitis and could not put in the training necessary to make another run at Boston.  As a concession to his injury, Eden rehabilitated by taking up triathlons.  By 1988, he'd become a masters runner and felt healthy enough to return to his quest.  At age 41, needing a 3:20 for a Boston qualifier, Eden ran 3:27 in New York.  From 1989 to 1991, his marathon times ranged between 3:33 and 3:43.

In 1992 Eden was 45 and faced a Boston qualifying standard of 3:25.  He sought out a flat and fast course, the Mohawk-Hudson Marathon in upstate New York.  Eden set his running watch in countdown mode for 3:25.  At 20 miles, he recalls, "I was two minutes ahead of the pace needed, but I felt myself slowing down.  I just couldn't hold the pace.  He watch's beeper went off at the 26-mile mark, signifying that the 3:25 qualifying time had elapsed.  Eden returned to Mohawk-Hudson in 1993, and fighting a strong headwind, managed only a 3:33.  A third attempt there in 1994 resulted in a heart-wrenching 3:26:51; Boston would have accepted 3:25:59.

In 1995, Eden registered for October's Bay State Marathon in Massachusetts, considered the fastest marathon in the East.  But he still hasn't made it to the starting line.  In 1995, at age 48, he suffered a rib injury three weeks before the race; not wanting to waste the training, he ran the Rockland Lake Winter Marathon in December instead.  Time: 3:32.  "I was a year and a half too young and two minutes too slow," he says --- Boston's qualifying standard for 50-year-olds is 3:30.

In early 1997 Eden entered the Jersey Shore Marathon, set for April.  He was about to turn 50, meaning he could qualify for Boston with a 3:30.  But the new cushion wasn't enough, as a strong headwind slowed his performance to a demoralizing 3:51.  He registered for Bay State in October, but had to withdraw his entry after suffering a broken leg from a training run in July.

I asked Eden if he felt that maybe his time has passed, that his goal may never be realized.  Yes, he said, he has acknowledged that he may never qualify for Boston.  He has lost a lot of speed in the past two years, he admitted.  But quickly he reordered his thoughts, focusing on the next challenge.  "I still want to do Bay State," he said.  "I want to do more speed work in a regular basis, and I have to do more long runs at my marathon pace.  I know I have to run easier on my easy days --- I'm even considering wearing a heart rate monitor."

Eden Weiss is not bitter about never realizing his dream when he was running at this best.  He doesn't seek special treatment, either; he eschewed the 100th Boston lottery in 1996.  He wants to qualify by the rules as they stand today.  "I salute all the qualifiers," he says.  "I know what they have sacrificed to achieve their goal.  I will not stop trying and dreaming of being on the starting line in Hopkinton."

POSTSCRIPT:  Several days before Boston Marathon 2000, Eden Weiss wrote: "I'll be in front of the T.V. this coming Monday with a box of tissues in my lap watching you know what."  If you want to send him some words of consolation, he can be reached at the following obvious e-mail address: edenran257@aol.com.

#874.  WHO: Michael Trunkes
WHEN: Four days before the Boston Marathon, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "I might go up to Boston to watch the marathon ... (pause) ... in a bar." 

#873.  WHO: John Scherrer
WHEN: April 11th, 2000
SUBJECT: The photo collage at the top of the Photo Gallery page
WHAT HE WROTE: "Wow, I made the photo gallery collage.  I'm moving up in the world."

EXPLANATION:  For your information, here are the rules of the Photo Gallery 'contest'

• Publication Frequency:  Whenever the resident graphic designer has time on hand to kill and we have a surplus in the budget to pay for his extremely expensive time ...

• Selection Criteria:
  (1)  The person must be photographed in the current Central Park Track Club singlet (no generic white shirts even if they are famous, no classic editions of team singlets, no team jackets even if they are orange-colored, and definitely no Ralph Lauren Polo singlets ...) sometime between today and the date of the last collage
  (2)  The person must be facing the camera (not more than a 15 degree turn to the side)
  (3)  The person should exhibit a lively expression (with special preference for expressions of grim pain)

• Not Selection Criteria:
  (1)  This is not a popularity contest --- your presence is quite unrelated to your importance or likeability
  (2)  This is not an Equal Opportunity program, and no consideration is given to age, sex, socio-economic power, nationality, race/ethnicity, seniority, speed, or anything else that you can think of ...

SOME OBSERVATIONS:

• Unless Toby Tanser starts wearing that orange singlet, he'll never get into the collage (but see Famous Saying #808)

• Unless Stephanie Gould starts wearing that orange singlet, she'll never into the collage (which is probably how she planned it ... ?)

• Hint:  Your chance of selection increases with running more races, especially scoring races; in addition, your chance of selection increases immensely when you run really hard in those races.

• Tautology:  There is one team member who will never make it into the collage, as hard as Laura Miller has been lobbying ...

#872.  WHO: Tony Ruiz
WHEN: April 11th, 2000 outdoor track workout on a cold, rainy and windy evening
WHAT HE SAID: "Given that it is cold tonight, I think we ought to get started as quickly as possible.  But before we go, there is one little thing first."

COMMENT: Yes, he means the official historical photo.
FOOTNOTE:  Missing is Bola Awofeso, who had the prescience to say two days ago, "If it is warm and sunny, I'll come down to be a timer.  If it rains, forget it!"

#871. WHO: AIMS Newsletter # 163, September 1999
RACE: 1999 Reykjavik Half Marathon, Iceland
WHAT WAS REPORTED: "The weather was cold and miserable.  Dave and Toby started out okay but got into conversation after 10km and slowed considerably as they chatted.  At 20km, Toby pushed and ran 2:47 for the next kilometer, leaving Dave behind."

COMMENT: This has been a special race strategy tip brought to you by your favorite website ...

#870.  WHO: Frank Handelman
WHEN: Niketown Four Miler, April 9th, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "This is my first road race in a year, but I don't mind the guys in my age group beating me because my birthday is tomorrow and this is my last race in the age group."
POST-SCRIPT:  He would finish second in his age group, after his teammate Robert Francis.

#869.  WHO: Roland Soong
WHEN: After the final indoor track workout of the season
SUBJECT:  The 1999-2000 season ID card for the Armory Track & Field Center
SITUATION:  In response to the question, "What to do with the ID card now that the season is over?"
WHAT HE SAID: "Keep the photo and re-use it for next year.  That was exactly what I did this year --- I was looking around for any photo and there was the ID card from the year before!"
WHAT ELSE HE SAID: "Most other people have multiple photos on the website that they can just print out, but somehow there is none of me.  I wonder why ..."
COMMENT:  This has been a public service announcement from your favorite website ... 

#868. WHO: Audrey Kingsley
WHEN: April 6, 2000
SUBJECT:  Public safety tip (especially for New York City)
WHAT SHE SAID: "I got hit by a bicycle yesterday.  As you might expect in this town, it was a delivery person going up the street the wrong way.  But I was carrying my big, thick finance textbook, so I was not injured at all.  Obviously, I yelled at him."
COMMENT:  This has been a public service announcement from your favorite website ...

#867.  WHO: Toby Tanser
SUBJECT: Backwards Mile, April 1, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "I would not recommend this event to anyone.  Five days after the race, I still cannot walk up stairs.  If I can run backwards in time, I would have ran to erase that race from my life."
COMMENT #1: This makes two things that he says that he couldn't do --- backwards running and steeplechase.  One of these days, we'll tell you the amazingly short story about his one and only steeplechase race ...
COMMENT #2: Watch, he'll be back next year, with serious training ...

#866.  WHO: John Kenney
WHEN: April 6, 2000
WHERE: Road workout assembly in front of the Daniel Webster statue
SITUATION: After various people made announcements, it was John Kenney's turn to make the presidential address
WHAT HE SAID: "Let's run."
ELAPSED TIME: 0.87 seconds.

#865. WHO: Audrey Kingsley
BACKGROUND: On the third week in March 2000, Audrey came to the workout with a sly smile and said, "I've got a secret" and declined to elaborate.

• A few days later, the following note appeared on our home page: "COMMUNICATION GAP:  Audrey Kingsley came to the workout, said she had a secret and declined to explain.  We would not call that good communication."

• Another week later, this note appeared on our home page: "MISSING PERSON NOTICE:  Dear Audrey Kingsley, your high school alumni association (Bronx Science, Class of 1986) is looking for your e-mail address.  Please dial home."

WHAT SHE WROTE: "In an effort to avoid my entire internet-documented life being placed on the home page of the Central Park Track Club website in a form of trial and error, I will give you a hint.  I hate giving up this easily but you give me no choice, YOU WIN!!  Check out: http://www.cityofbath.co.uk/ ."

TECHNICAL NOTE:  Of course, nothing is that simple with our Audrey.  If you go to the listed URL, it does not contain her name anywhere.  But if you look at the list of the tourist dives and events in the City of Bath, you will find a half marathon road race without any results.  What to do?  Ah, Runners World (UK) would be a good starting point!  Yes, sure enough, they  linked us to the Millennium Bath Half Marathon in the City of Bath, UK (March 19, 2000), in which Audrey Kingsley ran 1:34:45 to finish 43rd place overall female.  Ah, the thrill of victory!

#864.  WHO: Yves-Marc Courtines
SUBJECT: Backwards Mile
WHEN: April 1st, 2000
SITUATION: 27-year-old Yves-Marc arrived just one minute too late for the Open race, so he ran twenty minutes later in the Masters race without a number.  In theory, he finished in third place, but he waved off the race officials rushing to take down his name.
WHAT HE WROTE: "So --- I really should have handed in my name, waited until the awards ceremony to take my Master's 3rd Place Prize and then -- presto -- yelled out APRIL FOOL'S.  I think I coulda pulled it off with a little flour at the fringes of the bandana?  Whaddya think?"

#863.  WHO: Stacy Creamer
SUBJECT: A funny thing that happened on her way from getting out of a cab to the front entrance of her building
WHEN: April 2000
WHAT SHE SAID: "As I got out of the cab to enter my building, someone standing at the door of Gabriela's restaurant looked at me and said, 'Hi, Stacy.'  I looked at him, searched my memory bank and came up completely blank.  Then he said, 'Oh, you don't know me but I've seen you on the Internet!'  It turns out that he is a recreational runner who enjoys surfing the net."
COMMENT: ... and may he surf to this item and read about the happiness that he brought Stacy and the rest of us.

#862.  WHO: The visitors to our website
WHEN: April 1999 through March 2000
HOW THEY VOTED WITH THEIR MOUSE CLICKS ON THEIR BROWSERS:

Average Daily Number of User Sessions & Page Views
Central Park Track Club website
April 1999 - March 2000

Comments:

The Central Park Track Club website began as an intra-net intended to disseminate information to members of the club.  Initially, it was estimated that no more than 50 people on the club had Internet access, and this would represent an upper bound on the number of visitors.  Imagine our continued surprise to see the visitor numbers climbing and climbing over time.  First, the visitor count surpassed the theoretical number of web-enabled club members.  Then it reached and passed the theoretical number of all club members.  By March 2000, the number of visitors per day is about twice the number of club members.

This extraordinary growth is due to the ability of this website to attract a broad audience inside and outside of the club membership.  It was certainly never planned this way.  In fact, if anyone had originally suggested the capture of an outside audience as a mission statement, we would have regarded it as sheer fantasy.  Yet, by focusing on the principal mission of bringing timely, useful, well-organized and interesting information to our members, this website has managed to transcend the genre of running club websites to become a global cult classic with a dedicated following.

A carryover effect can be seen in the performance of our Amazon.com affiliate program.  We ask our visitors to make purchases at Amazon.com through clicking the logos on our website, and we receive a small referral fee for each such sale.  Our quarterly revenues since the inception of the program are as follows:

Third quarter 1999:  68 items sold for $2088.30 with referral fees of $119.09
Fourth quarter 1999: 88 items sold for $2071.30 with referral fees of $103.57
First quarter 2000: 159 items sold for $2790.65 with referral fees of $141.53

The significance of these numbers lies not in the total revenue volume, as obviously nobody will become a millionaire as a result.  Rather, it is surprising that the sales are as high as they are for merchandise items that are mostly unrelated to the website itself.  The reason that people are willing to make their purchases through the website is a demonstration of their affinity for the website.  And this is exactly what it is all about --- affinity marketing, much in the same way that Sierra Club members are willing to use their affinity credit cards to make purchases.

Technical notes:

• A User Session is defined to be a session of activity (all hits) for one user of a Web site.  A unique user is determined by the IP address or domain name.  By default, a user session is terminated when a user falls inactive for more than 30 minutes.  The 407 user sessions per day in March 2000 projects to 407 x 365 = 148,555 user sessions per year.

• A Page View is the request for a .htm (hypertext markup language) file from a user.  The request may result in either a download of the page from our server to the user's computer or a previously cached copy of the page being brought up on the user's computer.  The 609 page views per day in March 2000 projects to 609 x 365 = 222,285 page views per year.

• These counts do not include the viewing of the large number of photos (jpeg and gif files) in our  photo gallery.  In March 2000, an average of 805 photos were downloaded per day.  This projects to 805 x 365 = 293,825 photo views per year.  Each photo view would be a page view if we had framed the photo in a page; in fact, we can even insert some incidental advertising as well --- see this example of product placement.

• These counts do not include the times in which our large .AVI movie files are downloaded.  In March 2000, a total of 305 .AVI downloads occurred.

• These counts do not include the downloading of the text file containing our club membership application form.  In March 2000, they were downloaded 66 times by people interested in joining our club.

• All the details behind these numbers are published in our web log analysis reports.  We are one of the few organizations willing to disclose and discuss the log activities.  We believe that there is no better way of reinforcing loyalty than to showcase it.

#861.  WHEN:  April 1, 2000
SITUATION:  On this April Fool's Day, the club logo on our website was replaced by the following:

Actually, since this April Fool's Day falls on a Saturday, which is our least trafficked day of the week, the switch occurred on Friday at noon sharp to increase the chance of exposure.
WHAT John Scherrer WROTE (3:07 pm, 3/31/00):  "Canadian Pacific Track Club? How long has that been on there? I just caught it."  Answer: "Since noon.  You are the first (and the best!)."
WHAT Audrey Kingsley WROTE (4:18 pm, 3/31/00): "I was sending someone to our site and they were like ....... You are a member of the Canadian Pacific Track Club?????"
SCORE CARD:  If we were to pick a short list of candidates most likely to spot this trick, those two people would have been there.  The rest of you were napping ...

EXPLANATION:  If you think that this was yet another prank pulled off by those lower-level employees on this website, you should know that the directive came from the highest authority.  On 3/17/00, 5:17pm, Central Park Track Club president John Kenney wrote: "Do we have any special plans for our website on April Fool's Day?  I was thinking about renaming our site: "Canadian Pacific Track Club" for 24 hours to see if we catch anyone napping.  By the way, we helped a runner (Craig) from Vancouver get into the Armory last Tuesday and work out with us.  He's spending his sabbatical in Boston for a year and is preparing for the Nationals in Boston.  Afterwards, I mentioned Jess Brewer's name, who ran with us a few years ago when he was teaching here in NYC.  It turns out they knew each other 30 years ago.  I guess Canada is a small town, though I was a little disappointed to hear that he had NOT babysat for Craig Chilton 30 years ago ..."

COMMENT:  So, on this day, we give our thanks to the contributions from our many Canadian members --- past (e.g. Rick Pieschel), present (e.g. Craig Chilton) and future (e.g. Margaret Schotte).  It is for a good reason that we are one of the greatest winter running clubs (e.g. nine straight team victories in Central Park in the winter of 1991/1992).  P.S.  Why else do you think that they voted for the Club Championships to be held in August ... ?

#860a. WHO: Toby Tanser
WHEN: April 1, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "Julia (Casals), Sylvie (Kimché) and I talked about which person would be the best person to pull an April's Fool joke over, and we thought we would all like to nail the webmaster.  Unfortunately, we couldn't think of anything that might work."

#860b. WHO: Stéphane Bois
WHEN: April 1, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE: "Someone told me that they are planning to hire patrol runners due to the serious problems that have been occurring recently in Central Park, either during races (female runners being elbowed, etc) and during off-hours (gang activities, etc).  They will be hiring about ten runners (fast runners only and if there are too many applicants, running speed tests will be given).  These selected runners will patrol the Park at night and during races to enforce safety rules of running.  For identification purposes, these runners will each receive a badge (http://www.maxsell.com/Unique/Jogger_Badge/).  Please post this information on your website as this should be of great interest to your people."

#859.  WHO: Ramon Bermo
SITUATION:  On March 30, 2000, he received the following message: "Raqui, do you know the person in quick news item # 2 on our home page ... ?"  He went over to the web page quickly and read this item:  "TRAFFIC LAW VIOLATOR:  Our Global Surveillance System (tm) reported that a male Spaniard triathlete was seen running through the car traffic lane on Sixth Avenue in the downtown direction on Wednesday (3/29) around lunchtime.  Of course, he can do anything he wants, but does he have to wear that orange jacket for everyone to see?"
WHAT HE SAID: "Oh, I thought you were just asking me to identify someone and I would have been very happy to do that.  But as I read the item, I realized that the person was me!  Are you everywhere?"

#858.  WHO: David Diviney
SUBJECT:  Upon discovering that this website had published his race result from the 2000 Shamrock 8K, Portland, Oregon
WHAT HE WROTE: "You found me way down the list in the Shamrock 8K.  Yikes! In the future, only publish the 'superior' efforts --- PLEASE!!!"

#857. WHO: Frank Handelman
SUBJECT: His DQ in the 400m race at the 2000 USATF National Masters Indoor Track & Field Championships
WHAT HE WROTE: "I've had a long history of DQ's, especially in high school where I got into more than one shoving match in track meets and even a few post-race fistfights with opposing runners and once even a coach for a rival high school.   So if you want to list it as '57.90 --- DQ for running out of lane' or something like that, at least those people I most want to impress (my CPTC teammates and pals) will know that I was in the race."

#856. WHO: Greg Allman
WHEN: March 24th, 2000, on the occasion of Blair Boyer's birthday when Blair's friends took him out to dine at Josie's (corner of Amsterdam & 74th Street).  Upon exiting the restaurant, they stood on the sidewalk to listen to the Allman Brothers Band playing a gig at the Beacon Theater next door
WHAT HE SANG: "Tied to the whipping post"
COMMENT:  There has to be a special meaning for Blair behind this ...

#855. WHO: Stacy Creamer
OBJECTIVE: Correcting a historical error
BACKGROUND: On our coverage of the 1999 Central Park Triathlon, we included a video clip:, with the following comment, "The Central Park Triathlon segment was at the beginning of this program.  If you cut away before the end, you will have missed Stacy Creamer toiling uphill on her bicycle.  We have preserved this painful-looking episode for posterity."
WHAT SHE SAID: "Due to the tilted camera angle and, more likely, due to the look of pain on my face and the fact that I was rocking hard sideways, you deduced that I must be 'toiling uphill.'  But if you look carefully at the background, you would recognize that it was actually on the flats in the southern part of the park.  I hope that gives you a better cue about my cycling ability."

#854.  WHO: Brian Barry
SUBJECT: Upon hearing a teammate has a knee problem
WHAT HE SAID: "A knee problem?  Just go and get another one."
WHAT ELSE HE SAID, IN ANSWER TO THE QUESTION "How?":  "Go to e-bay."

#853. WHO: Toby Tanser
WHEN: Upon getting Sylvie Kimché's agreement to run in a 4x5 mile relay team for the 2000 Powerbar 20 Miler
WHAT HE SAID: "Now I can say that I ran with the (ex-) president."
COMMENT: We were more impressed when we opened the New York Times to see Stacy Creamer jogging with President Bill Clinton around the Central Park reservoir several years ago.  We will say that we were less impressed by the President himself than by the fact that she must have very sharp elbows to barge through the secret service cordon.

#852: WHO: Stéphane Bois
WHEN: March 24, 2000
SUBJECT: Public Service Announcement concerning safety in Central Park
WHAT HE WROTE: "Let tell me you what happened to me last night because the public should be aware that it's very dangerous to run in Central Park now.  On Thursday night, I was attacked by a gang while I was training in Central Park.  It was a large gang of about forty people.  From their voices, I gathered that they even included some international mercenaries:  I could recognize some French guys --- probably the more dangerous members of the gang --- but also British and Canadian guys.  There was even a "false" young Chinese (technical note: the "young" descriptor is false but the "Chinese" descriptor is true) guy who was acting as the lookout at the top of Harlem Hill.  The gang was well-organized under the leadership of a Puerto Rican guy who was yelling orders "Faster! Faster! Left, right!  Pump your arms, lift your knees!  Show some dignity!".  It was a really scary moment for me ... A Canadian hoodlum, probably an ex-ice hockey player, tried to tackle me but I shoulder-charged him into the ground.  I managed to escape but I think I was really lucky because they can all run fast (except for the Chinese guy, by the way).  Central Park is simply not safe anymore ..."

REPLY:  Dear Stéphane, contrary to your belief, Central Park is very safe to run in provided that you observe some basic rules:

1. When running at off hours, always run with a group of familiar people with whom you can keep up (such as the Central Park Track Club people)
2. When running at night, always wear brightly visible clothing (such as neon orange) and never wear dark clothing (such as dark gray blue)
3. When running in Central Park, make sure to avoid the trouble spots where gangs are known to congregate (such as the Daniel Webster statue around 7pm on Thursdays)
4. When people seem to be standing in your way, just say "Excusez-moi, s'il vous plâit" in clear, gentle and unaccented French --- that always impresses them; conversely, never say anything in English because they seem to tune out automatically; above all, never ask them to count lampposts because they do not have the intelligence to handle that ...

#851. WHO: Fritz Mueller
WHAT HE SAID: "My wife wants to thank the Central Park Track Club website for publicizing her book Green Fires.  But I don't think that you will be able to sell many copies of the book."
COMMENT: Not if we starting printing some interesting paragraphs like, "From the moment Kai and I met at a mutual friend's dinner party I gave myself over to him as I never had before with another person.  It was strange, considering all I knew about him was that he was German and a chemist with Bell Labs" and "Several times in the years we'd known each other he'd referred to not wanting to be a romantic German.  I'd always thought a romantic view of the world was a nice quality and told him so.  He had answered, 'It's not something a German can afford to be anymore.'  Though I didn't entirely understand what he meant, what I did know as I looked out over the wilderness through his eyes was that I envied his endless capacity for embracing life."

#850. WHO: Tony Ruiz
SUBJECT: Team loyalty
WHEN: March 21, 2000
WHERE: On the downtown 'A' train after the workout at the Armory
WHAT HE SAID: "To show you how dedicated I am, please note that every Tuesday I go from the Armory back to my mom's place on 28th Street.  But instead of switching over to the local train which drops me off right at the doorstep, I would rather spend the time accompanying my team members on the 'A' train, getting off at 34th Street and walking to my mom's place.  How about that?"
COMMENT: Dear Reader, ask not what the coach can do for you, ask what you can do for the club ...

#849.  WHAT: Quick quiz
SUBJECT:   ORANGE MYSTERY
QUIZ: The Cyclops' riddle asks what has 4 legs in the morning, 2 at noon and 3 in the evening.  Here is our variation of the riddle: what has 4 legs, 2 wheels and 2 orange heads?

#848: WHO: The character Angela Bennett, as portrayed by Sandra Bullock, in the 1995 movie, The Net (tag line: "Her driver's license. Her credit cards. Her bank accounts. Her identity. DELETED.")
WHAT SHE SAID: "Just think about it.  Our whole world is sitting there on a computer.  It's in the computer, everything: your, your DMV records, your, your social security, your credit cards, your medical records.  It's all right there.  Everyone is stored in there.  It's like this little electronic shadow on each and everyone of us, just, just begging for someone to screw with, and you know what?  They've done it to me, and you know what?  They're gonna do it to you.  Such a nightmare! It's like I'm not even me anymore."

If you think The Net was just paranoid sci fi, you should read the true story of Blair Boyer:

At the 2000 Brooklyn Half Marathon, Blair went down to the NYRRC to pick up his race number and shirt.  He was given a low race number and no chip.  When he asked for his chip, they told him that he must already have a chip as indicated by the low race number.  When he said that he did not own a chip, they opened up a computer screen and said that it was clearly indicated that Blair Boyer had not returned his chip from the 1999 New York City Marathon.  If the computer said so, then it must be true, right?  The fact was that Blair entered but cancelled, and therefore he never got a chip.  Fortunately, Blair knew that there are two Blair Boyers --- he is the 40-year-old Manhattanite and the other is a 38-year-old New Jerseyan.  He was somehow able to convince the powers-that-be that this was a plausible scenario.  "If you say so," the person said in a sarcastic tone and gave him a post-entrant number for the race but promptly omitted his club team code.  For the Spring Fever Four Miler next week, the saga continued as the same thing happened and he had to go through the same routine at the NYRRC.  This time, in spite of the fact that he ran and had witnesses who spotted him at the 2-mile mark and the finish, his time (27:46) and place (119th overall) were credited to the 38-year-old New Jerseyan Blair who was credited with 51st place in his age group (whereas the 40-year-old Blair would have been 16th in his age group).  Shouldn't Blair be saying, like Angela Bennett, "Such a nightmare! It's like I'm not even me anymore"?

FOLLOW-UP:  Eventually, the mess with the Spring Fever Four Miler was straightened out.  The upshot was that Central Park Track Club finished with the third-place open men's team award, with Noel Comess, Robert Francis, Craig Plummer, Blair Boyer and Chip Olsen as the five scorers.  The remarkable thing about this list is that Blair is the youngest person!

About his New Jerseyan namesake, our Blair Boyer said, "I once received an e-mail from someone who was looking for the other Blair.  So I gave him the correction information to track him down.  The other Blair actually contacted me to thank me for re-uniting him with his high school buddy.  I told him that I would guess that he is the exact opposite of me --- that is, he ought to be married with children and working in the financial industry and indeed he is married with three daughters and works as a money manager.  It turns out that he worked three blocks from my office.  So we actually arranged to have a run together.  He is a wonderfully nice person."  (comment: Ruth Marx he ain't)

#847. WHO: Toby Tanser
SUBJECT: His inaugural visit to the borough of Brooklyn, the fourth largest city in the USA, at the 2000 Brooklyn Half Marathon
WHAT HE WROTE: "What I knew about Brooklyn could have been written on a grasshopper's knee. We didn't know much beyond that the NYC Marathon course is predominantly set there, something about baseball used to be there, and a dialect that requires a phrase book is spoken there."
COMMENT: The next time he gets out there, he may be welcomed by a bunch of screaming people with baseball bats!

#846. WHO: Susan Sontag
SUBJECT: On the virtues of writing in the third person, as practiced by John Scherrer, Kevin Arlyck, Kim Mannen, Alayne Adams et alia
WHERE SHE WROTE: In the Foreword to the novel Epitaph of a Small Winner by Joachim Machado de Assis
WHAT SHE WROTE: "Quite different ideas of decorum apply to a narrative constructed in the first person and to one in the third person.  To slow down, to speed up, to skip whole stretches; to comment at length, to withhold comment --- these done as an 'I' have another weight, another feel, than when said about or on behalf of someone else.  Much of what is affecting or pardonable or insufferable in the first person would seem the opposite if uttered in the third person."

ILLUSTRATION (from #847 above): "What Toby knew about Brooklyn could have been written on a grasshopper's knee.  Toby and Julia didn't know much beyond that the NYC Marathon course is predominantly set there, something about baseball used to be there, and a dialect that requires a phrase book is spoken there."
COMMENT: The emotion thus invoked would be one of pity for their cultural deprivation, instead of rabble-rousing anger ...

#845. WHAT: Photographic evidence
SUBJECT: In the workout description of 3/14/00, the following sentence appeared, "the coach noted at least three people who broke good form on that first 300m by reaching for their stopwatch at the finish."  Who are these three unnamed individuals?
WHAT THE PHOTOGRAPH SAID: "Peter Homsher and Eve Kaplan have their trigger-happy fingers ready."  
QUESTION: But who was the third person?  All we can say is that Kim Mannen, Sandra Scibelli and Ana Echeverri are absolved.

#844. WHO: Julia Casals / Devon Sargent
SITUATION: On March 18, 2000, there was a road race in Central Park and a track meet at the Armory.  Our web photographer could not be in both places at the same time, and chose to be at the latter
WHAT JULIA SAID: "Good, finally there's one race that he's not at!"
WHAT DEVON SAID: "Oh, no!  I don't want you to take pictures of me running in pain."  (like this photo?) 
COMMENT: As much as we would have tried to believe that we can't please everyone, in this case we could have done so just by staying in bed.

#843. WHO: Diane Lebowitz
SUBJECT: Her time at the Spring Fever Four Miler, March 18, 2000
WHAT SHE WROTE: "There seemed to be a problem with the clocks in this race (maybe they were as frozen as we were!).  When I crossed the finish line, my stopwatch read 28:02, the overhead clock read 28:15, and the time listed on the results sheets after the race read 28:19.  Finally, the NYRRC website listed my official time as 28:08. You've gotta love those chips !"

#842. WHO: John Sargent
WHEN: USATF Eastern Regional Indoor Track & Field Championships, March 18, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "Track meets are so much fun when you don't have to run."

#841. WHO: Erik Goetze
SITUATION: During the third week of March, 2000, the following photo appeared on our home page:

with the caption: "Hey, it's time to train for the backward mile!"  We were wondering if anyone, including the man himself, would be able to identify who this person is.
WHAT HE SAID: "Someone in the U.K. e-mailed me to ask if I liked the picture of me running backwards.  I had to go and check it out because I hadn't even seen it yet myself."
COMMENT: So what address should we be sending the winner's prize to?

#840. WHO: Jerome O'Shaughnessy
TO WHOM: Kim Mannen
WHEN: Indoor track workout, March 14, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "It is okay for you to run fast ahead of us, but there is no need for you to be fixing your hair on the run."

#839.  WHO: Luca Trovato
SITUATION: In February 2000, the following news item appeared on this website: "We thought that we were taking photographs until we received this photo of our Millrose Games relay team from Luca Trovato.  It is drop-dead beautiful!  It goes to show you what a good camera in the hands of a great photographer can do.  Oh, Luca, we are not worthy, we are not worthy ..."
WHAT HE WROTE: "You made me blush like a shy little boy! Thank you for the honor,  I don't deserve such a treatment.  Now I will never send you another picture. I don't want to ruin everything!"

#838. WHO: Tyronne Culpepper
SITUATION: After losing his $30 Champion computer chip at the Brooklyn Half Marathon, being the second time he has lost a chip
WHAT HE SAID: "I like contributing to the New York Road Runners Club's treasury."
POSTSCRIPT: He submitted a hand-timed 1:28:55 for our records.  Now, the big question is, "Was this before, on or after the second mat?"

#837. WHO: Audrey Kingsley
WHEN: March 2nd, 2000 workout in Central Park, on a windy night as the group braved a headwind to reach West 102nd Street and about to turn east into the transverse
WHAT SHE SAID: "Will the wind be behind our backs?  Or will it be like the 1999 New York City Marathon in which the wind was in your face everywhere?"

#836. WHO: Ross Galitsky
WHEN: March 9, 2000
SUBJECT: The problem with the permanence of the Central Park Track Club website archive of photos and videos
WHAT HE SAID: "Somebody just reminded me to show my mother the video clip of me being passed by Randy Ehrlich at the 1999 Central Park Triathlon."
COMMENT: Instead, you can show your mother this clip, which is accompanied by the voice-over: "First out of the water and onto the hilly bike course is Ross Galitsky, maintaining a nice aero-bike position.  Ross is a leading extreme athlete."

#835. WHO: Charlie Stark
IN RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION: "So, what do you do when you are not running?"
WHAT HE SAID: "I cheer."
COMMENT: He does something else too --- just make sure that you don't jump subway turnstiles.

#834: WHO: Member of another running club
WHAT SHE SAID: "I've been looking at your website.  Regardless of anything else, you guys look like you are enjoying yourselves."

#833. WHO: Tyronne Culpepper
WHEN: Brooklyn Half Marathon, March 11, 2000 --- cold, windy and rainy
WHAT HE SAID: "Well, at least we won't have to worry about seeing our photographer out there to take photos."
COMMENT: WRONG!  Here is our photo of Tyronne in suffering, both physically as well as financially (he lost his computer chip!)

#832. WHO: David Birchfield
WHEN: Central Park road workout, March 9, 2000
SITUATION: The group was working hard going up a hill
WHAT HE SAID: "Oh, are we supposed to running a pick-up right now?  I want to make sure that the reason I am feeling so bad is not because I am out of shape."

#831. WHO: Bola Awofeso
IN RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION: "So did you finish that 20 mile race in London?"
WHAT HE SAID: "I had to finish it, because Colin (Frew) was not going to take me home otherwise."

#830. WHO: John Kenney
QUESTION: Why are there so many Canadians on this team?
WHAT HE SAID: "You don't think that the maple leaf is in our club logo by accident, do you?"

#829. WHO: Jonathan Federman
SITUATION: Jonathan has dual residency in Philadelphia and New York City, which means that he has two local clubs to run with.
WHAT HE WROTE: "My club in Philadelphia is doing a mystery trip this weekend. Show up at 7:30am, board the bus to somewhere, and return later that night after a day of running, racing, partying and causing mayhem."
COMMENT: Yes, we've heard of that before --- it's called wilding ... 

#828. WHO: Sid Howard
WHAT HE SAID: "You know, these pages of famous sayings are very long.  I read an item and I scroll down to the next one, but the scroll bar is practically still at the same place."

#827.  WHO: Roland Soong
SUBJECT: The Art of the Tease
WHAT HE WROTE: "In reviewing the web log analysis report of 2000 February, I came across a surprising finding.  Contrary to my expectations, our most popular day of that month was not the day after the Snowflake 4 Miler, in which we had 62 entrants.  Rather, it was the day after the low-keyed Thursday Night at the Armory meet, in which we had 15 entrants.  How come?  On the night of the meet, there was just enough time to post about half a dozen photos on our website, and we indicated that more will be forthcoming the next day.  Now, we know that the biggest traffic driver on this website is the photo collection, and the people who were at the Armory that night could not help but noticed that we had several photographers clicking away madly.  Unlike those one-shot hit-or-miss deals in road races, it was impossible for anyone to have been missed in an indoor meet.  So it was the promise of more photos to come that made people click again and again on that day for their photos to come up.  We should do that more often, huh?"

ALTERNATE HYPOTHESIS: It was all Yves-Marc Courtines' doing (just count the number of photos of him) ...

#826. WHO: David Pullman
WHEN: March 7, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "To make sure that I got to the track workout tonight on time, I arranged for a car service to get me there.  When I got there, I saw a sign saying that the Armory is closed for a paint job tonight.  So I went home and looked at the website, but I didn't see any notice about a cancellation."
COMMENT: There was a notice up for over a week, but it was removed around 10pm that night.  The point here is that you are supposed to check for news BEFORE you go, not AFTER! 

#825. WHO: Olivier Baillet
WHAT HE SAID: "I'm going to tell everybody that I know in France and Argentina to come to this web site."
COMMENT: According to the February 2000 web log analysis report, we had 78 visitors from France (2nd place) and 10 visitors from Argentina (12th place).  It looks as if those porteños need to work a lot harder.

TECHNICAL APPENDIX: Eric Forestier filed this note: "Olivier was not solely responsible for those French visitors.  I have my friends and family in France too."  In addition, we note that we have two club members currently residing in France (Greg Gall and Pam Bohl).

#824. WHO: Robert Francis
SUBJECT: Stacy Creamer at the 1999 Joe Kleinerman 10K
WHAT HE SAID: "I was running in this race.  It seemed that every five yards someone was yelling 'Go, Stacy!' or something like that.  When I got to West 85th Street or thereabouts, I just had to turn and look at who this Stacy person was."
COMMENT: Just as there is the extraordinary experience of seeing how many people know Stacy by name in a race, there is the complimentary, but equally impressive, experience of watching a race with Stacy and hear her call out all the runners' names as they go by.

#823. WHO: Tony Ruiz
WHEN: Thursday road workout, March 7, 2000
WHERE: Central Park
SITUATION: Upon hearing that someone threw some tacks on the roadway and caused a lot of flat tires among the bike pack last Thursday
WHAT HE SAID: "That was very tacky."

#822. WHO: Craig Chilton
TOPIC: His personal State of the Union speech for the club
WHAT HE SAID: "I'm getting faster and faster than ever before, but I'm also getting lower and lower in the team scoring."

#821. WHO: Eric Aldrich
SUBJECT: His endorsement of the Urban Environmental Challenge trail race at Van Cortlandt Park
WHAT HE WROTE: "This is a rugged trail race (as in, 'I fell five times last year')."

#820. WHO: Stacy Creamer
WHEN: Road workout, March 2, 2000
CONDITIONS: Cold & windy --- wind-chill of 15 degrees Fahrenheit
SUBJECT: Erik Goetze, dressed in shorts and short-sleeve t-shirt, and smiling
WHAT SHE SAID: "There will be a clothing collection for Erik after the workout."
COMMENT: Yes, we care so much about each other ...

#819. WHO: Tom Derderian, a nationally ranked runner at the time
WHEN: Boston Marathon 1978
SITUATION: Upon being overtaken by 42-year-old Fritz Mueller, who was on his way to setting a national masters record of 2:20:47
WHAT HE EXCLAIMED: "Oh, my God!  Are you that old guy?"

#818. WHO: Harry Morales
SITUATION: Upon learning that over 300 people came to our home page on the Monday after the 2000 Snowflake Four Miler
WHAT HE SAID: "Don't these people have work to do?"
COMMENT: For the month of February 2000, according to the web log analysis report, the loss in worker productivity due to this website was (9:47 minutes per user session) x (373 user sessions per day) x (29 days in the month) = 1,764 hours.  At wages of $7.50 per hour, this meant $13,230 in lost wages; alternately, at 8 minutes per mile, that meant 13,230 miles of lost running.

#817.  WHO: Audrey Kingsley
WHEN: March 2nd, 2000 workout in Central Park
WHAT SHE DID: She was observed to be trading elbows with teammates
WHAT SHE SAID: "After last week's Snowflake race, I've taken up martial arts."
COMMENT: If you don't understand the reference, read the story about runner #1515.
COMMENT: Kim Mannen, also involved in that incident, says, "Practice makes perfect." (see Famous Saying # 398)

#816 WHO: Yves-Marc Courtines
WHEN: Snowflake Four Miler, February 26, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "I just discovered that there is a Famous Sayings section on this website with several hundred quotes in it."
QUESTION: Where did you say you were for the last 3 years?  Malawi?  Iceland?

#815. WHO: Yves-Marc Courtines
SUBJECT: A recent note about the Thursday Night at the Armory meet states that Yves-Marc could easily become the Most Improved Runner on the club by making some simple equipment adjustments (like getting the right shoes and shorts).
WHAT HE SAID: "My girlfriend said not to worry about becoming the Most Improved Runner because I am already the Most Photographed Person for that meet." 
COMMENT: This is the Central Park Trolling Club ...

#814. WHO: Mary Olson
SUBJECT: Dependency theory
WHEN: Snowflake Four Miler, February 26, 2000
SITUATION: Upon seeing that her camera has just gone 'dead' ...
WHAT SHE SAID: "Where is Luca (Trovato)?"
CULTIVATING DEPENDENCY: See photo

#813: WHO: Frank Handelman
WHEN: Thursday Night at the Armory meet, February 17, 2000
WHAT HE SAID, SHAKING HIS HEAD AT THE END: "( ... extended interesting informative and entertaining commentary ... ).  Unfortunately, you can't publish that."
COMMENT: We tell you again and again, "You've got to be there, otherwise you miss out."

#812. WHO: Tony Ruiz / Margaret Angell
SUBJECT: Her team-leading 23:47 at the Snowflake Four Miler, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "I was so excited when I saw you coming down to the finish that I even forgot your name!  It was about three seconds after you passed by that I started to yell, 'Go, Margaret!'"
WHAT SHE SAID: "And then you kept yelling for the next three minutes.  I could still hear you all the way down on the other side."

#811. WHO: Alan Ruben
WHEN: February 29, 2000
WHERE: Runner's World Daily
TITLE: "Open the Olympic Marathon"
WHAT HE WROTE: "The fact that only Christine Clark gets to represent the U.S. in the women's Olympic Marathon in Sydney is undoubtedly a very disappointing outcome of the recent Trials race in Columbia, S.C.  The real culprit for this sad state of affairs is the IAAF, which unilaterally upped the marathon "A" standard from 2:35 to 2:33 a few months ago. The reason appears to be a desire to keep the number of Olympic athletes to a manageable number, given the addition of new events.  I would strongly argue that the Olympic Marathon should be treated as a special case for the following reasons:

* The rich history of the marathon and the Olympics are closely linked --- indeed, the marathon would not have existed without the Olympics.
* The marathon has always been treated as a highlight of the Olympics, often being the last event prior to the closing ceremonies.
* The limits in the numbers of competitors, which have to be placed in track events, simply do not apply to the marathon, where space is not a problem. As the big-city marathons have shown, the larger the numbers the more spectacular the event.

The Championships marathons, particularly the World Championships, are being diminished by runners preferring to run in the big-city marathons for a more certain paycheck. Anything that can be done to reduce this trend, such as allowing more runners, not less, into the Olympic Marathon, is in the interests of the IAAF and the sport."

Back row (standing): Shawn Sutton, Stephanie Sisk-Hilton, Carolyn Sicher, Manny Torres, Arsenio Iglesias, Norm Goluskin, Ed Coplon
Middle (kneeling): Kandice Ross, Karelyn Rosado, Vivian Reynolds, Jennifer Stockbridge, Mayelin Perez, Juaniece Ramos, Stephon Cummings
Front (sitting): Jermaine Perry, Carlos Howard, Chris Sanabria, Yudy Garcia, Louis Colon

#810.  WHO: Dan Kadison
BACKGROUND: Norman Goluskin is a former president of the Central Park Track Club.  In the photo above, he is shown standing next to Ed Coplon, another former president of the Central Park Track Club, in the orange jacket.  Retiring to a life of golf and shuffleboard in Florida is not exactly what Norman had in mind, so he is now playing a very active role during these, his "golden years", in introducing running to the students of New York City's inner city middle schools.  Many of us New Yorkers on the Club got our start in our sport in the Public Schools Athletic League many years ago.  Unfortunately, the funding for these programs has long-since disappeared.   Norman's efforts with the NYRRC and the New York Running Partners have already been equally rewarding to coaches and athletes alike.  New York Running Partners is looking for additional coaches to help roll this program out to more middle schools in New York City.  Are you interested in participating in this wonderful program and are available during late afternoons during the week?  More information can be found at the NYRRC website under the New York Running Foundation.
WHEN/WHERE: New York Post, November 6, 1999
WHAT HE WROTE: See article.

#809.  WHO: Ramon Bermo
WHEN: Snowflake 4 Miler, February 26, 2000
ISSUE: What to do when the camera cannot capture both Central Park Track Club runners (Ramon Bermo and Craig Chilton) in the same photo
WHAT HE SAID: "I guess you take the handsomer person."
COMMENT: Dear reader, you pick the handsomer person from this frame.  Now you see what our problem is?

#808. WHO: Julia Casals
WHAT SHE SAID: "You've got to work on Toby (Tanser) to wear orange in races."
COMMENT: As long as he keeps leading the races, we don't care what (if anything) he wears ... (see the legendary photo)

#807. WHO: Julia Casals
WHEN: 200 meters from the finish of the Snowflake Four Miler, 2000
WHAT SHE SAID (LOUDLY): "NO PICTURES!"
COMMENT: The way she was sprinting away from us, we couldn't have taken any pictures even if we tried to ...

#806. WHO: Jim Olson
WHEN: Snowflake Four Miler, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "I started to sprint really hard in the last 50 yards.  All of a sudden, it was like I was in a French movie in which the trees started spinning all around me."

#805. WHO: Roland Soong
TO WHOM: Alayne Adams
SUBJECT: Selecting an appropriate photograph as requested by the NYRRC to accompany the biographical information for the Club Night Gala awards
WHAT HE WROTE: "I recommend the following picture.  They will have to hand the award to you because you can run on water."

In case you don't get it: Local runners are aware that there is a tall wire fence surrounding the Central Park reservoir to prevent people from reaching the water.  The absence of the fence in this photo means that somehow Alayne must be running on the water (and she said, "I don't remember doing that ...").  This photo was in fact manipulated with Adobe Photoshop by using a picture of the background scenery shot through a hole in the wire fence and superimposing another shot of Alayne Adams running.  This photo was used on our About the Club page to entice people to join our club ... now you know why advertisement designers are known as the 'creatives.'

Postscript: It goes without say that Alayne was too honest to pay any attention to this suggestion ...

#804. WHO: Ann Snoeyenbos, triathlete and member of the New York Flyers(!)
SUBJECT: An announcement about Iron Week 2000, a triathlete bootcamp run by her company Tortoise to Hare Training Inc
WHAT SHE WROTE: "Hell, I'd even pay CPTC dues if it would get me the advertising on your website."
COMMENT: Calm down, Ann, there is no need to be so melodramatic ...

#803.  WHO: Eric Aldrich
WHEN: Tuesday workout at the Armory, February 22, 2000
SITUATION: The "A" team was abandoned by a female teammate in the last of a set of 400m's
WHAT HE SAID: "They always do that to you."
COMMENT: ... and so there stood the five guys left at the altar, looking forlorn ...

#802. WHO: Jon Weilbaker
SUBJECT: His inspirational thought during the Knickerbocker 60K in February, 1995
WHAT HE SAID: "It was around 20 degrees and comfortable enough for running, but I had the sense that if I stopped, I would just freeze to death.  I also had this image of Alan Ruben turning blue and dropping out in the snowstorm a few years ago when he tried this for the first time, and I knew I didn't want that happening to me.  So that was my motivation --- this picture of Alan Ruben turning blue."

#801. WHO: 1988 - 2001  Central Park Track Club Women Sub-3:20 Marathoners
OLD SAYING: "Deeds talk louder than words"

We would have liked to provide the entire list since day one, but we don't have all the historical records.  As it is, we cannot even guarantee that the pre-Internet records here are complete and accurate.  Some people have changed last names over the years, so we just used the best known one.  These times refer strictly to those achieved while these people were Central Park Track Club members, and they may have had faster times before (as in the case of  Alayne Adams (2:48:56, 1996 Boston Marathon) and Sally Strauss (2:55:59, 1988 Olympic Marathon Trials)) or after (as in the case of the many marathons of Diana Nelson-Fitzpatrick).  Some of these names may not be familiar to those who joined the club recently, so we'll give them brief bios: 

• Candace Stanton (née Strobach) is nicknamed "The Franchise" for her dominance over many years, and is a member of the Central Park Track Club Hall of Fame.  There were times when she was unbeatable inside Central Park.  She has the fastest marathon time ever of a Central Park Park Track Club runner with her 2:45:40 at the Houston Marathon to qualify for the 1988 Olympic Marathon Trials.  She was also the leader of the legendary 1986 Club Team Championships winning team that swept in 1-2-3-4-5 for the lowest possible score (1-Candace Strobach, 2-Laurie Madson, 3-Wendy Wisniewski, 4-Rachel King, 5-Cynthia Willis).  Her 22:01 is the course record for the Snowflake 4 Miler.
• Diana Nelson-Fitzpatrick moved to San Francisco around 1991 and now runs for the Impala club out there.  She qualified for three Olympic Marathon Trials, including the 2000 edition as a Masters runner.  She has a very fluid and efficient running form, just a natural.  She drops in on our workouts when she comes back east to visit.
• Cynthia Willis has a personal best of 2:51 and is a Olympic Marathon Trials qualifier.  A good description of her by Peter Gambaccini can be found in Famous Saying # 552.  She is not competing anymore, but can often be seen running in Central Park, usually in tights and wearing a walkman.  After one particular New York City Marathon, a coach from another rival club refused to believe her sub-3:00 time and had the video tapes at the checkpoints reviewed --- yes, she was in all of them!  They could have saved the effort by asking her training partners on the team about what she could do!
• Sally Strauss was with us for a short while before moving to Washington DC.  She had a previous best of 2:46:12 in Stockholm in 1983, and decided to join our club to train for the New York City Marathon.  Her target time in 1991 was sub-3:00, and she made that with time to spare.  She is a very disciplined trainer, but you may find it hard to believe from her running form (her knees knocked against each other!) that she can run so long and fast.