#1000.  WHO:  Michele Tagliati, M.D.
SUBJECT:  Parkinson's Disease
WHAT HE WROTE: "Parkinson's disease (PD) is a neurological disorder characterized by slowed movements (bradykinesia), tremor, muscle stiffness (rigidity), and postural instability with increased risk of falling.  PD affects at least 750,000 people in the United States.  While PD most commonly affects people in their 60s, it can occur as early as age 20, and as many as 10% of cases occur before age 40.

PD is caused by premature death of cells in the substantia nigra (SN), a small area of the brain involved in the control of movements.  Cells in the SN interact with other brain areas by secreting a neurotransmitter called dopamine.  When SN cells die and stop producing dopamine, the activity of other areas in the brain becomes unregulated, causing most of the symptoms of PD.

The cause of SN degeneration in the great majority of patients is unknown. Most researchers believe that the cause of PD is a combination of genetic predisposition and environmental factors. Environmental toxins such as carbon monoxide, manganese and some pesticides can cause parkinsonian symptoms, but there is no evidence that these toxins are responsible for more than a few selected cases. Genetic factors have also been shown to be responsible for the occurrence of PD in a few families, but these gene defects account for a very small percentage of PD cases. 

Parkinson's disease is a progressive disorder. Symptoms typically begin with tremor in one hand. The disease progresses slowly, over a decade or more, eventually involving the opposite side of the body. In addition to the hallmark symptoms of tremor, bradykinesia, muscle rigidity, and postural instability, symptoms of PD can include excess salivation, decreased voice volume, and decreased ability to smell.  Mood depression, anxiety and disturbance of sleep are common symptoms in advanced PD.  Constipation, increased sweating, urinary incontinence, and male impotence may also occur.  

Parkinson's disease is currently managed using drug therapy, non-pharmacological means, surgery, or a combination of these.  Non-pharmacologic treatments include physical and occupational therapy, speech therapy, dietary recommendations, education of patient and caregiver and psychosocial interventions (for a detailed discussion of non-pharmacological treatments in PD, see www.wemove.org/par_nphm.html ).  

The pharmacological management of PD is a complex and dynamic task.  Because of the progressive loss of substantia nigra cells, the response to drug therapy changes over time, with increased doses required as the disease advances. There are many different drugs that may be effective and there are still differences of opinion among PD experts about the best direction of treatment.  Levodopa, a precursor to dopamine, remains the keystone of PD therapy. It is the most effective anti-parkinsonian drug available. However, long-term use of levodopa therapy often leads to complications, most importantly uncontrolled movements or dyskinesia.  Thus, alternative treatments that reduce the exposure to levodopa have been explored. 

The current trend is toward delaying the use of levodopa and the use of combination therapy.  Dopamine agonists (DAs) may be used to delay the start of levodopa therapy, and may continue to be used once levodopa is started.  DAs may be added on to levodopa therapy later in the disease as well, to help limit the amount of levodopa needed to control motor symptoms.  Alternatively, COMT inhibitors can be used to reduce the total amount of levodopa needed.  COMT inhibitors prevent the breakdown of levodopa before the brain absorbs it, thus prolonging the action of a single dose. Other drugs used in treatment of Parkinson's disease include selegiline, anticholinergics, and amantadine.  

Three types of surgery are currently used for the treatment of Parkinson's disease: pallidotomy, thalamotomy and deep brain stimulation. A fourth procedure, fetal nigral cell transplantation, is an experimental procedure still under development (for a detailed discussion of surgical treatments in PD see www.wemove.org/par_sur.html ).

In the past few years there have been important developments in the research on the causes and treatment of PD. However, despite the enormous amount of data produced every year by laboratories all over the world, our understanding of the disease remains limited and a few basic questions remain unanswered. First of all, we do not know what causes PD.  Studies of genetic and inheritance patterns, as well as models of disease using toxins specific for the substantia nigra are trying to answer this fundamental question.  At the same time, the attention of several laboratories is focused on what we can do to prevent brain cells from degeneration (neuroprotection).  Finally, research into new and more effective pharmacological and surgical treatment is ongoing.  An extensive overview of new research data in PD is available on www.wemove.org/par_emove.html#1).

LINKS

• www.wemove.org (WEMOVE, Internet's most comprehensive resource for movement disorder information)
• www.parkinson.org (National Parkinson Foundation)
• www.apdaparkinson.com (American Parkinson's Disease Association)
• www.pdf.org (Parkinson's Disease Foundation)

#999.  WHO:  Roland Soong
WHAT HE WROTE:  "I know that you are all expecting that the landmark famous saying #1000 to be the usual shameless self-congratulatory ten-thousand-word note about how good the club and its website are.  Sorry to disappoint you there ... but of course we are still the greatest ... quack, quack, quack!"

#997.  WHO:  Hector the Parrot (see related item)
SITUATION:  On being passed at the July 18, 2000 workout by Noah Perlis, who could not help but happily exclaim "I passed Hector!  I passed Hector!"
WHAT HECTOR SAID: "Quack!"

ERRATUM:  Noah Perlis wrote: 
1. I did not pass Hector; he is too fast for me.  I cheered him on as he was running past me and I said "Go Hector, go!"
2. Hector does not "Quack." Ducks quack.  He is a parrot.  He said "squawk."  I have no interpretation for what he meant.

#996.  WHO:  Rich Hollander
WHAT HE SAID:  "I want you to know that even though I was away in Europe for some time, I stayed connected to the club."

#995.  WHO:  Erik Goetze
BACKGROUND:  For being the fifth scorer on the team at the 2000 Bronx Half Marathon, Erik received the mercenary bounty of Ray Bans X5-ray sport shades (MSRP: $100+) courtesy of Toby Tanser
WHAT HE SAID:  "I'm always glad to be of service to the team.  I will wear them proudly."
COMMENT: ... and a smile that beams from ear to ear ...

#994.  WHO:  Tony Ruiz
WHEN:  Track workout, July 18, 2000
SUBJECT: How to run 600m,400m,1000m
WHAT HE SAID: "Mentally, you should think about the 600m as the first 600m of a 1000m and the 400m as the last 400m of a 1000m.  Therefore, your total time for the 600m+400m should be close to the ensuing 1000m.  If you ran much faster on the shorter ones, then that doesn't mean jack-doodles."
GENERAL REACTION:  Jack-doodles???  Everybody immediately started looking around for our video camera crew, with John Kenney stating, "I hope this is being streamed live all over the world ..."

#993.  WHO:  Eve Kaplan
HINT:  Tavern On The Green Breakfast Run, being a race in which one has a choice of a 1.7 mile, 3.4 mile or 6 mile race.
WHAT SHE SAID:  "Two years ago, I ran the 6 mile race.  When I arrived at the restaurant, all the food was gone.  Last year, I got out earlier and ran 4 miles before the race, then I ran the 1.7 miler and I was the first person on the line to enter the restaurant."

#992.  WHO:  John Kenney & Tony Ruiz
WHEN:  Team meeting, July 11, 2000

WHAT THEY SAID: "In the mid-1980's, the average time of our first ten runners was just over 25 minutes for 5 mile races.  The runners today have better diets, better equipment and better ideas about training.  There is no reason why people like Isaya Okwiya and John Scherrer should not run as fast, if not faster."

#991.  WHO:  Isaya Okwiya
SUBJECT:  The USATF Eastern Regional Open Track and Field Championships, 2000
WHAT HE SAID:  "It took 2 hours and 10 minutes by car to get up to the meet at Connecticut College just so I can run the 800m (editor's note: in 2:04) and 1500m (editor's note: in 4:14) races.  If you think that was a long trip for two races, I will be going to the Masters Eastern Regionals at Springfield, Massachusetts next weekend."
ADDENDUM:  For the record, the Springfield trip took about approximately four hours each way for Isaya to run just the 800m in 2:02.

ALTERNATE VIEW FROM Devon Sargent:  "I also went up to Connecticut to run the 1500m in the same meet.  Yes, I would say that it was an awfully long journey to go up there to find out how slow I am now."

#990.  WHO:  Blair Boyer
SUBJECT:  The Two Blair Boyers Project --- Part 2
DATE:  July 6, 2000
FILE REFERENCE:  The Two Blair Boyers Project --- Part 1
WHAT HE WROTE:  "At a recent race, my membership number came up as 'NOT VALID', even though I have done at least 11 races this year and I just received my five-year renewal membership card.  First, there were two of me and now there is none.  The saga continues ..."

#989.  WHO:  Eve Kaplan & Kim Mannen
TOPIC:  Track workout tip
BACKGROUND:  At the track workouts, the sets are fast sprints with recovering jogs in between.  During the summer, if you take in some water at the fountain after a sprint, your group may have gone far ahead on their jogs already.
WHAT THEY SAID:  "Let's jog in place instead and wait for our group to come around."

#988.  WHO:  Ramon Bermo
WHEN:  Tuesday, July 11, 2000, two days after the Hudson Valley Triathlon
WHAT HE SAID: "I was checking the New York Triathlon Club website all day on Monday for the results, and nothing came up.  On Tuesday morning, I wanted to try again.  But I thought that I could go to the Central Park Track Club website instead, because the results (if published anywhere) would have appeared there.  Sure enough, there it was."

#987.  WHO:  Kim Mannen
SUBJECT:  Jog bras for the women on the team
WHAT SHE SAID:  "Oh, the men can buy them too, if they want."

#986.  WHO:  Tony Ruiz
SUBJECT:  The Illustrated Timekeeper's Guide on How to Manage Two Groups At A Track Workout
CONTENTS:

Step 1  Call the first (and slower) group up to the line and start them off.  This photo shows Suso Montero (back row), Steve Eick, (who is this?), Dave Howard, Devon Sargent (back row), Tyronne Culpepper,  John Kenney, Paul Sommerfeld (back row), Larry King, David Pullman, Adam Newman (back row).

Step 2  Bring the second (and faster) group up to the line and count down on their handicap (e.g. if they start ten seconds later, you count down ten, nine, ..., three, two, one, go!)  Since they are going to have to be stationary for a brief period of time, you should keep an eye on any oncoming traffic.  This photo shows Tom Hartshorne, Paul Stuart-Smith, John Scherrer (extra handicap of having one fast solo mile before the official team workout on this day) and Craig Chilton

Step 3  Call out the splits when the first finisher comes through, and continue until the last finisher has passed.  On this team, it is usually an 'old' guy (John Kenney here) who comes through first.  If the two groups come through together, call out the first group's time and remind the second group to deduct the handicap.  If the two groups are sufficiently far apart, you should be able to call out their respective true times.  On this particular set, the first group was expected to finish in 75 seconds and the second one in 65 seconds, except John Kenney showed the young guys that he still has some speed left in 66 seconds.

#985a.  WHO:  Gerry McCarthy
WHEN:  July 11, 2000
WHAT HE SAID:  "You must be the umpteenth person who asked to take a picture of me and my parrot Hector.  If I had collected five dollars from everyone who ever took a picture of us, I would have thousands and thousands of dollars by now."
SOME BACKGROUND INFORMATION:  Gerry and Hector represents the current standard excellence for the "D" group --- to wit, "Did you get beat by the bird at the workout?"  Previously, without Hector on his shoulder, Gerry was a terror on the roads running 25 minute five milers regularly, usually with the fastest first mile and not as fast afterwards.

#985b.  WHO:  Liane Montesa
WHEN:  July 18, 2000
BACKGROUND:  The above item apparently attracted a great deal of attention (though not from Gerry himself).  At the next workout, many people came over to admire Hector
WHAT SHE SAID:  "How does he do it?  If I put my parrot on my shoulder and start running, it would be pecking me in protest!"

#984.  WHO:  Tony Ruiz
WHEN:  July 11, 2000
WHERE:  East River Park
OCCASION:  When John Kenney presented the 1999 MAC Outdoor Track & Field Championship plaque for the winning team, the Central Park Track Club, coached by Brian Denman
WHAT HE SAID: "I guess that this goes with the two thousand other awards that Brian has won in his career.  Brian was a national high school 400m champion.  He was my idol in my time.  (pause for dramatic effect).  In other words, I hated him because we were competing for different schools!"

#983.  WHO:  Sid Howard
WHEN:  July 11, 2000 track workout at East River Park
SUBJECT:  Public Service  Announcement
WHAT HE SAID: "Watch out for those mosquitoes carrying the West Nile virus."
COMMENT:  ... so we should just stay home and enjoy a long and comfortable life?

#982.  WHO:  Laurie Sawyer Jones
SUBJECT: The Clear Nutrient
WHAT SHE WROTE: Most runners now realize the importance of carbohydrates in the diet and their role in increasing endurance.  However, there is another nutrient more critical to athletic performance which happens to be the one most often neglected by athletes: WATER.  Water is the major component of the body, comprising over two-thirds of our total mass.  Water also constitutes approximately 72% of actual muscle tissue.

Water's most important functions to the runner are regulating body temperature and acting as a coolant for working muscles.  A secondary function is the regulation of electrolytes.  Hence, proper hydration is essential for athletic performance, especially when training and competing in the heat.

Bear in mind that vigorous exercise blunts the thirst mechanism.  In fact, thirst is not an adequate indicator of your hydration status as you will only be replacing one-half to two-thirds of necessary fluid.  This means that forced consumption of water is often necessary to maintain adequate hydration.  Even small water losses will impair the body's ability to regulate heat.  The amount of water lost through sweating depends on the severity of the physical activity, as well as on the environmental temperature and humidity.  Sweat losses of 2 to 4 liters (6 to 8 pounds) per hour are not uncommon during strenuous exercise in the heat. 

Runners will begin to experience impaired performance when water loss amounts to 3% of body weight.  At this point there is reduced muscular endurance time.  With water losses of 4 to 6 percent the effects of dehydration  on muscular endurance are significant.  Reduced muscular strength, reduced endurance time and heat cramps result.  Water losses exceeding 6% of body weight can lead to severe medical complications.

Proper fluid management during physical activity is essential for peak performance.  Practical recommendations include drinking 2 cups of water about two hours before exertion and 2 cups again 15-2- minutes prior to training or competing in the heat.  This will not eliminate the need for continual fluid replacement during exercise.  In a hot humid environment frequent small servings (4 - 6 ounces) of cold water is recommended throughout your event or training run.  Cold fluids are emptied from the stomach at a significantly faster rate than fluids at body temperature.

Commercial electrolyte and carbohydrate beverages are, for the most part, unnecessary.  Any electrolyte beverage taken during exercise is of no special benefit as electrolytes are no assimilated by the body during the course of the event.

The typical American diet supplies ample sodium, chloride, and potassium to replace sweat losses.  With intense exercise, even a small amount of carbohydrate retards gastric emptying and limits essential fluid replacement.  The only exception would be for the marathon-type competitor where carbohydrate feedings during prolonged exercise tend to maintain blood glucose levels and spare muscle glycogen.  Cool, plain water is the best defense against dehydration.

Two other often consumed beverages, caffeine and alcohol, actually have a dehydrating effect; so if you consume these in significant amounts and/or on a regular basis, be sure to drink plenty of water to replace fluid lost.

On a final note, probably one of the best ways to monitor your hydration status is, believe it or not, to note the color of your urine.  Colorless or very pale yellow means you're doing a good job.  Dark yellow means you had better reach for the water jug instead of a BUD."

AUTHOR NOTE:  Laurie Jones Sawyer was an active member of the Central Park Track Club in the early 1990's and a registered dietician at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City.  Apart from that 3:02 NYC Marathon time, she also  impressed us greatly with her ability to consume massive amounts.  This article originally appeared in the Spring/Summer 1990 issue of the Central Park Track Club newsletter.

#981. WHO:  Frank Handelman
WHAT HE SAID: "An institution like the Central Park Track Club, with no building, no clubhouse, and no central location for the display of the thousands of medals and trophies won over the years, exists in many ways as a state of mind for its members."
COMMENT:  Those words were written in 1990, which pre-dates but anticipates the coming of virtual organizations.  Today, of course, the Central Park Track Club has a famous virtual address at www.centralparktc.org.

#980.  WHO:  Lance Armstrong
WHERE:  The acknowledgments in his book, It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back To Life
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Stacy Creamer was a careful and caring editor and Stuart Calderwood provided valuable editorial advice and made everything right."
COMMENT: ... and their appreciative teammates agree too ...

#979.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
WHERE:  His preview of the 2000 Bronx Half Marathon as published on the NYRRC website
WHAT HE WROTE: "Be warned: start hydrating this instant, but careful not to spill any water on the computer keyboard.  However therein lies the beauty of our sport: the horns sounding "bring me my chariot of Fire!" would ring hollow were it not a challenge just to complete the race.  I always have the view that the fruits of challenge and toil are always worth keeping and completing a half-marathon in the heat of July is just such an achievement. Your satisfaction will last a lot longer than the pain.  I promise."

#978.  WHO:  Fritz Mueller
WHEN:  June 6, 2000 road workout
WHAT HE SAID:  "I ran that first mile in 6:39.  That is 10 seconds slower than the pace that I used to run 50 milers."

#977.  WHO:  Tony Ruiz
SUBJECT:  The art of calling out splits at the track
WHAT HE SAID: "All I have to do is make sure that I know who my fastest and slowest runners are, and where they are situated at any point in time."
COMMENT:  ... and factoring also any known irregular pacing tendencies ... 

#976.  WHO: Josh Friedman
SITUATION:  For Tommy's American 4 Miler on July 4th, his Photo appeared with these words: "Josh is a perennial procrastinator who has not yet turned in a team application yet.  Let's see if this note will do the trick to get him to put some cash into the club coffers ..."
WHAT HE WROTE:  "So...you've resorted to blackmail ... evil.  But you know what?  I've already sent my dues in about two weeks ago:P  So, be careful what you wish for."

#975.  WHO:  Stu Mittleman
SUBJECT:  Why he ran 3,200 miles from San Diego to New York City in 57 days (that makes 52 miles a day)
WHAT HE SAID (as quoted in the New York Times (6/27/00)): "We need to be doing more to help kids understand the importance of healthy daily activities ... I got lots of e-mails and faxes from people who were aware of what I was doing and thought, 'May I'll get out of my chair and get on a bike.'  If nothing else, maybe I can demonstrate to my own kids that you can accomplish things if you really want to, and work hard towards them"
WHAT ELSE HE SAID: "And I probably won't run again until, oh, maybe tomorrow."

#974.  WHO:  Roland Soong
SUBJECT:  The unreasonable effectiveness of the front cover photo in surprising people
WHAT HE WROTE: "I can hear the shriek all the way downtown when someone sees his or her own photo." 

#973.  WHO:  Michele Tagliati
WHEN:  June 29, 2000, the day on which Italy played Holland in the semi-final of the Euro Cup 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "This is one day on which I cannot wear orange."
COMMENT:  Hup Holland!

Sid Howard, in orange Nederland jacket

#972.  WHO:  Brian Denman, sprint coach
TO WHOM:  Sid Howard, doing the track workout with the road runners
SUBJECT:  Choosing between the sprinters' and road runners' workouts
WHAT HE SAID:  "If you were running with my group, you would have finished by now already."
COMMENT:  And taken a nap along the way ...

#971.  WHO:  Eden Weiss
WHEN:  June 27, 2000
WHERE:  Track workout, East River Park
SUBJECT:  Widows and orphans ...
WHAT HE SAID:  "Next week, I'll be away at the Maine Running Camp.  Please look after the group of runners that I time at the track.  They will be lost without me."

#970.  WHO:  Audrey Kingsley
WHEN:  Lesbian & Gay Pride Run, 2000
WHAT SHE SAID:  "Oh, it is so nice to be able to leave of your own volition."

#969.  WHO:  Michele Tagliati
SUBJECT:  Audrey Kingsley
WHAT HE SAID:  "On the morning after the NYRRC Mini-Marathon, I ran into Audrey in the park.  I asked her how she was.  She said, 'Oh, my time was terrible!'  I said, 'I don't mean your time.  I mean YOU!  I am a doctor --- I care about your health, not your race time.!'"

#968.  WHO:  Jerome O'Shaughnessy
SUBJECT:  Champion chip
WHAT HE SAID:  "I bought my own Champion chip at the last marathon.  If I didn't have my own chip, I would have to get someone to clip it off after the race and I might throw up over their head.  That would have been very impolite."

#967.  WHO:  Kim Mannen
SUBJECT:  Her pacing strategy at the 2000 Lesbian and Gay Pride Run on a very hot day
WHAT SHE SAID:  "I was just sprinting from one shaded spot to the next."

#966.  WHO:  Michelle deMontigny
WHAT SHE SAID:  "About the writing style on the website --- which uses the plural subject  'we' extensively --- I wonder if it is the royal 'we' used by a single person or are there really many different people?"
COMMENT:  We are not amused by this question ... 

#965. WHO: Toby Tanser
WHAT HE SAID:  "Remember there is a point in every race when the feeling is that you are about to die shortly follows the feeling you want to quit.  If you are trying hard enough, this will hit you --- however all the runners around you will also be feeling such pains and having doubts, simply push on - the body is rarely at its limit!"

#964.  WHO:  Jackie Cortes
SITUATION:  On being asked if she would be running in the next club scoring race
WHAT SHE SAID: "I guess I am ..."
WHAT the coach Tony Ruiz SAID: "There is no guessing involved in this.  I want to you say it with enthusiasm!"

#963.  WHO:  Julie Andrews
WHERE:  The Sound of Music
TO WHOM:  Julie Denney and Scott Willett, who ran the Whiteface Mountain 8 Miles Uphill Race and the Mount Washington Road Race in two weekends of June 2000, right after the Assault on Mount Mitchell bike race in late May
WHAT SHE SANG:  "Climb every mountain ..."
COMMENT:  And the biggest race of their entire lives will be at the Shawangunk Mountains later this year ...

#962.  WHO:  Sandra Scibelli, Sarah Gross, Margaret Schotte, Mary Rosado, Margaret Angell, Audrey Kingsley, Kim Mannen, Laura Miller, Sylvie Kimché, Carol Tyler

WHEN:  June 10th, 2000 just before the start of the NYRRC Mini-Marathon 10K
WHAT THEY SAID:  "Please take a picture of us before the race, and forget about taking pictures after the race."

#961.  WHO:  Toby Tanser
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Let us go to the race hungry --- also let's have our team all united in a positive frame of mind, because the people around you in your team are paramount to performance.  Just look at the Kenyans --- before they run they chant on the starting line (in Swahili) Pamoja (Together)!  Let us have that thought --- vocals aren't necessary, but every placing is."
COMMENT:  But can we have that pre-game dance by the New Zealand All-Blacks ... ?

#960.  WHO:  Ramon Bermo
WHEN: June 15, 2000 road workout
SUBJECT:  Paul Stuart-Smith
WHAT HE SAID:  "Don't try to stay with this guy tonight --- he's got that unsmiling serious look."
POSTSCRIPT:  We thought that we detected a faint smirk on Paul when he heard that ...

#959.  WHO:  Charles Allard
WHAT HE SAID:  "This website is a lifeline for someone who is living in Tokyo."

#958.  WHO:  Margaret Angell
WHEN:  June 15th, 2000 workout
SITUATION:  Coach Tony Ruiz thanked the absent Margaret Schotte for her team-leading performance at the NYRRC Mini-Marathon on Saturday, mentioning that she was a national high school 3000m champion.
WHAT SHE SAID: "That was in Canada!"
WHAT ELSE SHE SAID:  "And you can tell her that I said that."

#957.  WHO:  George Wisniewski, retired coach of Central Park Track Club
WHEN:  June 15th, 2000 workout, whereupon he came in to conduct troop inspections
WHAT HE SAID: "This is the ugliest A team that I have ever seen."
HISTORICAL FOOTNOTE:  Among this A team is the same person who yelled out at the 1999 Central Park Track Club photo shoot after the Club Championships, "Will all the beautiful people step up front, and all the ugly people go to the back, please!?"  What goes around comes around ...

#956.  WHO: Audrey Kingsley
SUBJECT:  Pre-race dinner
WHEN:  June 10th, 2000 after her third visit to the medical tent in two years, all mercifully with no published photographs (but that doesn't mean that photos don't exist ...)
WHAT SHE SAID:  "Vegetables are out for the pre-race dinner from now on.  I don't think that they hurt my race but I don't need the guy in the medical tent asking me 'So when did you have that radiccio?'"

#955.  WHO:  Mary V. Rosado
WHEN:  June 13th, 2000 track workout, when coach Tony Ruiz started to announce weekend race results
WHAT SHE SAID:  "I think I better step away quickly before he starts to mention my age ..."
POSTSCRIPT:  She did ... and he did ...

#954. WHO:  Stacy Creamer
SUBJECT:  NYRRC Mini-Marathon 10K
WHAT SHE WROTE (for the NYRRC website): "While some triumphed and many merely survived, the heat felled a few experienced, competitive runners.  At least two local team members were overcome just past the 6-mile mark.  Both women eventually crossed the finish line, but wound up at Lenox Hill Hospital, underlining the vital need for adequate pre-race hydration. Both were released later that day.  At least one was spotted running in Central Park the morning after the race-demonstrating complete physical if not complete mental recovery."
QUIZ:  You have one guess as to the identity of the unnamed runner (and you shouldn't need any more than one ...)

#953.  WHO:  Shula Sarner
SUBJECT:  How she finished the NYRRC Mini-Marathon 10K
WHAT SHE SAID:  "At the 4-1/2 mile mark, I felt so bad that I wanted to throw up.  Then I remembered that I have to get to the finish line in ten minutes and head home immediately, or else I would miss my train.  So I gave it everything I got."

#952.  WHO: Julia Casals
SUBJECT:  Club social outing, June 12th, 2000
WHAT SHE SAID: "I think that every time I want to do something outside there is a torrential rain storm.  Hmm ... what does that mean?!"
COMMENT:  And we should also add that famous picnic that never was this year to this list ...

#951.  WHO:  Roland Soong
WHAT HE SAID:  "At the bottom of our road workout description, we point to the historical archives with the warning that they are very big files and the explanation 'after all, we've put in a lot of miles.'  How many miles are we talking about?  Suppose fifty people show up at a workout session and the distance is 6 miles.  That would be a total of 300 miles.  Think about that!"

#950.  WHO:  Margaret Schotte
SUBJECT:  Margaret Angell
WHEN:  NYRRC Mini-marathon 10K, June 2000
WHAT SHE SAID:  "I couldn't believe that Angell was not in front of me.  I keep saying that this is not right, this is not right."  

FACTS:  A web search yielded many concurrent mentions of Angell and Schotte, such as
   --- 1997 Penn Relays: College women 3000m, Margaret Angell (10:02.80), Margaret Schotte (10:04.79), both of Harvard University
   --- 1998 Penn Relays:  College women 3000m, Margaret Schotte (9:56: 04), Margaret Angell (10:17.38), both of Harvard University
So she has been in front and she has also been behind, and the only constant is that they are always TOGETHER  on the same team!

#949.  WHO:  José Martinez
SUBJECT:  Devon Sargent, renowned for running her male teammates into the ground
WHAT HE SAID:  "When Devon is behind you, she'll yell 'Move! Move! Move!'"
RELATED DATA:  During the last week of May 2000, a photo of Devon appeared on our front page with the caption "I may have a nice smile, but I have sharp elbows."

#948.  WHO:  Kim Mannen
SUBJECT:  The brutally hot NYRRC Mini-marathon 10K in June, 2000
WHAT SHE SAID:  "Maybe they'll allow us to run naked next year."
COMMENT:  We can only hope ...

#947.  WHO:  Tony Ruiz
SUBJECT:  Toby Tanser
WHAT HE SAID:  "I was trying to get Toby to run on the balls of his feet, but he said, 'Tony, I can't seem to find my balls.'"
WHAT Craig Chilton SAID:  "You've got to print this!"

#946.  WHO:  Peter Gambaccini
SUBJECT: Central Park Track Club streakers
WHERE:  Metrosports New York, May 2000
WHAT HE WROTE:  "Stuart Calderwood's streak began on January 21, 1987.  At age 27, he hadn't achieved any new personal bests as a competitor in five years.

"I went through this little crisis about it; am I going to let my own running slide?"  says Calderwood, a Central Park Track Club member.  "I thought the best thing would be to not miss a day.  Once I made that commitment to it, I knew I was going to run."

He demands a one-mile minimum of himself but has averaged about eight miles per day.  "My best years of running were when I was 29, 30, 31.  I broke all those PRs.  The aim of the streak, racing better, was reached.  I even set PRs at 36."

For streak purposes, a day lasts from when Calderwood wakes up to when he goes to sleep again.  "It seems silly to say you have to run before midnight," he says, making a point that on December 31, the annual Midnight Run in Central Park technically starts on January 1.

But Calderwood's rules were tested on an 18-hour flight from Korea.  "If I went to sleep, it would be the end of the day," he explains.  "We were going to land in Alaska and take off again for New York.  If I didn't run there, I'd have to stay awake eight hours more."

His solution was to run in Anchorage Airport for 20 minutes, in sandals and a heavy backpack.  "I figured people are gonna think I'm just trying to run to a terminal," he says.  "But once they saw me come by three times, they realized it was something different."

Calderwood's girlfriend, Stacy Creamer, an editor at Penguin Putnam Publishing, has her own running streak of a little more than three years.  One day, Creamer looked at her calendar and realized she had only taken about four days off all year.  "I was already well on my way to streakdom, without any thought of being a maniac about it," she says.

Creamer ran through Achilles tendonitis by running one slow dirt loop of the Central Park Reservoir.  She's had other ailments too.

"I came down with a terrible flu, a 103 fever," she says.  "I crawled over to the health club and ran 1.2 miles on the treadmill at a pretty slow pace.  I was horribly dizzy.  I began to think, 'Why am I even doing this?' and for me the answer was I had this streak going and it wasn't compelling enough to stop."

But her devotion has waned at times.  "I have ambivalent feelings about it," she says.  "On the bigger picture scale, I agree with people like Michael Koenig, who says it's the dumbest thing he ever did for his running, but I don't want to break it."

Koenig, a chiropractor and kinesiologist who was eighth in the 1975 New York Marathon, had a 22-year running streak when he threw his back cleaning his bathtub three days before 1997's marathon.  "I could barely walk pain free for a couple of blocks, but I still kept sort of crawling because I didn't want the streak to end," Koenig says.  "Then I said, 'This is ridiculous.'  It was really a very liberating experience for me, because I had been a slave to this running streak.  It became a burden."

Like most streaks, Koenig's began automatically.  "I had missed five days a year," he says.  "So I said, "Let's just run every day, no matter what the circumstances.'"  Once, kept in the hospital overnight for a minor procedure, Koenig ran in place in his hospital room for 30 minutes."

#946.  WHO:  Jim Aneshansley
SITUATION:  In response to the question, "When does a workout get cancelled?"
WHAT HE SAID: "Workouts are never cancelled.  Even if there is an earthquake and a crack opens in the track, you will just have to broad jump it and continue running."

#945.  WHO:  Roland Soong
SUBJECT: Photographs on our website
IN RESPONSE TO THIS MESSAGE:  "I was wondering if you have any other photos from the most recent race in the park.  I am not a member of your team, but I might be present in one of them.  I would greatly appreciate any help that you might be able to provide."
WHAT HE SAID: "Generally speaking, the Central Park Track Club web photographers will take photos only of their teammates and their friends and families.  We do not feel that it is our mission to be the photographers of record for the entire local running community, mainly because we feel that we would lose that feeling of intimacy for which our captioned photos are famous for.   Most running clubs have their own websites.  If your club does not have a website, you need to ask your club officers why not.  Our website is an example of how a website can be an extremely effective means of bonding an organization.  Or else your club may have a website, but carries no photos.  We point out that our equipment are simple and cheap made-for-consumer digital cameras and scanners that are widely popular these days, so it is really a matter of human will that has enabled us to have a photo gallery of over 3,000 digital pictures today.  For us, these photos form an important and visible means of linking our running lives with others, especially our non-running friends and families.  If these things matter to you and your club organization is unresponsive, then perhaps you need to ask yourself whether or not you are with the right club."

#944.  WHO: Julia Casals
SUBJECT:  Her time at the Y-ME Race Against Breast Cancer Run, Chicago 2000
WHAT SHE SAID: "I can't remember what I ran."

WHO: Toby Tanser
SUBJECT:  His time at the Firemen's Race, Central Park, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "I can't remember what I ran."

QUESTION:  Do you see a pattern?  How many more people on this team will be infected by this memory lapse disease that is spreading so rapidly?  Fear not, because some of us are immune to forgetting race times ...

WHO:  Roland Soong (and quite a few unnamed others)
WHAT HE SAID:  "I can't remember when I last ran a race."

#943.  WHO: Annie Fulton
WHERE:  e-Discussion of the Central Park jogger case covered in a Joan Didion essay given as a reading assignment in a Cultural Studies class at the Georgia Institute of Technology
WHAT SHE WROTE: "Just for the heck of it, I decided to see if there were any web pages devoted to Central Park.  It was really odd to run into a certain one titled, 'The Central Park Track Club'.  This is an organized group of people that run weekly together through the park.  They have clearly designed routes through the park.  This club has been organized since 1972, and it said that they run at 7:00 at night during the weekdays.   Now you are wondering why I even bothered to mention this on the archive.  Well, I ran across an odd quote.  Someone said, 'Despite anything you might have read about this park, it is quite safe to run in it, especially if you run in groups and you exercise commonsense.'  As an opposing view of the jogger, she had the chance to run with others.  Going out at night in any city by yourself is stupid.  It sounds like this club could have given her the opportunity to have companionship while exercising.  Even if she didn't want to participate in that club, I'm sure that she could look into things like that, like when other large groups are in the park.  It is not too smart to go out all alone, when you don't know who will be out there, and if there will be good/bad company around.  It is unfortunate that the rape occurred, but she did not make a wise icon about the time of day and location."

COMMENT:  The Central Park Track Club schedules team workouts on Tuesday and Thursday evenings.  For the rest of the time, our people do their own thing according to their own preferences, habits and available times.  We have seen our people running around the park at all times of day, including before 5am and  past midnight.  Statistically, the Central Park precinct has the lowest crime rate in all of New  York City (although crimes committed in the park often receive worldwide publicity), but still we should always be alert and run smart.

#942.  WHO:  Mary Spera
WHAT SHE WROTE: "Seeing as you're the master of getting results anywhere in the world, would you happen to have, or can you direct me to where I can find, results from the Rumson 5 Mile Run (5/7/00)?  Thanks."
ANSWER:  "Easy.  Go to http://www.bestrace.com/results/000507ru5.HTML.  P.S.  We didn't know that we've become a search engine."

#941.  WHO:  Tony Ruiz
WHAT HE SAID:  "I used to be in the collage on top of the photo gallery.   But I was eliminated in the new collage!"
COMMENT:  We ask "When was the last time that he ran a race?" not needing to wait for the answer because we know that it was years ago.  So we say, "Ask not what the club website can do for you.  Ask what you have done for your club!"

#940.  WHO:  Richard Kixmiller
SUBJECT: Coaching philosophy
WHAT HE SAID:  "George (Wisniewski) once said that you can't teach anyone anything by talking to them --- they will only learn it through experiencing pain."

#939.  WHO: Julia Casals
WHEN: May 25th, 2000 road workout
WHAT SHE SAID: "I was being tortured out there."
COMMENT #1:  See #940 above.
COMMENT #2: Hmmm, we didn't think that the workout was that hard.  Could she be referring to those two guys standing at the Alexander Hamilton statue and all the things that they said to her?

#938.  WHO: Yves-Marc Courtines
WHEN: June 1st, 2000 road workout
WHERE:  Going down Harlem Hill
WHAT HE SAID (TO A TEAMMATE):  "You look fast tonight.  (pause)  Or is it because you are going downhill?"
COMMENT:  Going downhill, in more ways than one ...

#937.  WHO: Bola Awofeso
SUBJECT:  Team spirit
WHEN: June 1st, 2000 road workout, consisting of one clockwise six-mile loop starting and ending at the Daniel Webster statue
WHERE:  Corner of East 72nd Street and East Drive
WHAT HE SAID: "I had planned to take a right turn there to run five miles today.  When I got there, I turned and saw a new girl not far behind me.  If I had turned at this point, she might just follow me.  So I ended up doing all six miles."

#936. WHO: Gordon Bakoulis
WHERE: Running Times, July/August 2000 issue
WHAT SHE WROTE: This is the last column that I will write as editor-in-chief of this magazine.  I'm resigning in order to spend more time with my husband and our two children.  I also hope to revive a competitive running career that's been stalled out for the better part of four years due to pregnancy, childbirth and the challenges of this job.

... the main reason for my decision is simple: My children only have one childhood, and it's passing in a flash.  It's not so much that they need me as I crave time, lots of it, when they --- not my computer, phone or fax machine --- have my attention.

"How do you do it all?" I've been asked about my frenetic working-mothering-running lifestyle.  I do it exactly the same way every other working mom and runner does it: with the help of an amazing husband (and a baby jogger), by cutting corners and delegating when possible, most of it one-handed and all of it by accepting sleep deprivation as part of the picture.

The funny thing is, I don't expect that to change dramatically in the coming months and years.  And to be honest, I don't want it to.  I'm proud that my children already grasp that running, writing and other non-child-centered pursuits are a vital part of who I am and what I do every day.  What I'm privileged to be able to pursue is simply a greater balance.  As a friend said when I told her of my plans, "You know, women can have it all; we just can't have it all at the same time."

RELATED LINKS:  That amazing husband Alan Ruben and those wonderful kids (Joey and Sammy)

#935. WHO: Tyronne Culpepper
SUBJECT:  How he joined the Central Park Track Club
WHAT HE SAID: "I met Victor (Osayi) at the Bagel Run 10K a few years ago.  He was lying by the roadside in obvious pain, and I asked, 'Do you need help?  Should I call an ambulance?'  As it turned out, that was nothing unusual with him.  Later, he told me to check out the Central Park Track Club.  I told him that I had not been running for some time and I was not sure that I was ready to join a club.  He said, 'They won't mind you showing up at the workouts and besides, they won't hassle you for club dues until after a long time anyway.'  So I joined the club.  From there on, it was Victor and I kicking each other's butt.  In the beginning, I was kicking his butt.  Then he started to run a lot faster and he was kicking my butt.  But there are still times when he gets injured (like calling me up and saying, 'When I got up this morning, I couldn't walk'), I can still kick his butt."

WHAT Victor Osayi SAID, AFTER READING THE ABOVE:  "Next time I come back from an injury, I'll make sure that I don't run any race with Tyronne until I'm absolutely sure that I can kick his butt!"

#934.  WHO: Julia Casals

SUBJECT:  Ridgewood 5K, May 29, 2000
Official website result: Tulia Casals, 22:19 (7:11 min/mile), 210th male, 28th M35-39
CPTC website result: Julia Casals, 22:19 (7:11 min/mile), 29th female, 5th F35-39

WHAT SHE SAID: "I had my sex changed for the Ridgewood 5K, but our website still picked up the result."

#933.  WHO:  Luca Trovato, once a distance runner and now a sprinter
WHAT HE SAID: "I think that being a distance runner was better for me in culinary terms.  When I was running 50 miles a week, I could eat anything I want while staying trim.  But with this sprinting stuff, I can't eat anything without gaining weight."

#932.  WHO: Margaret Schotte
SITUATION:  During the fourth week of May, 2000, the following item appeared on our home page: "CHARLES RIVER RUN:  The Charles River Run in Boston consists of a men's race and a separate women's race.  Not content with finishing third in the women's race, Margaret Schotte ran in the men's race too and finished in 8th place. As this report says, if she ran a third time, they would have to rename the race as the Margaret Schotte River Run."  When someone told Margaret that there was a story about her on the home page, she was initially quite alarmed.  When the substance of this story was explained to her, she gave a sigh of relief and said ...
WHAT SHE SAID: "Phew, was that it?  I thought it was something a lot worse."
COMMENT:  That is not a good sign!  Our fact finders will have to work a lot harder because there has to be something more out there ...

WHAT ELSE SHE SAID: "I don't know which is crazier --- my college dormitory or this club website."
COMMENT:  That is not a good sign either!  This means that this website will have to work a lot harder to attain superiority.

#931.  WHO:  (name withheld)
WHAT WAS SAID: "My photo (see below) was not published on the front page of the website after I promised to pay an extortion fee."
COMMENT:  Well, this is still contingent upon meeting all the scheduled payments ... OR ELSE!

___________________

ROUND # 2: (3 days later, delinquent payment)
BACKGROUND: You may have seen the Blackmail skit on the Monty Python show.  The concept was that this was a show in which a salacious film clip was being shown and the subject could call in to put a halt to the showing for a price.  While the film was going on, the price kept going up.  So thus it is that we show a little bit more of our as-yet-unnamed subject below.  Going once ... (technical note:  if you peer at the blue spot long enough, you should actually be able to make out the facial features --- it took us a long time to achieve this Shroud of Turin effect).

__________________

ROUND # 3 (another 3 days later, repeatedly ignored dues notices)
CAPTION:  ... Going twice ...

Payment received promptly on the same day after this third photo was published, with the note, "Okay, ughhhh!  I am losing sleep at night and tossing and turning.  I hope I can sleep tonight."  This case is now formally declared to be closed.
___________________

Historical footnote:  Was this blackmail campaign excessive?  Well, we thought that it was a measured response to a message of provocation, "My last two races were so obscure that they went undetected by the website.  You are really slacking off!  Teeheehee!"  We were therefore only fighting for the right of the people to be informed about race results of our people, and the payment in fact consisted of just those results.  Furthermore, the subject was shown certain other unpublished photos in our historical archive, and is therefore suitably chastened about future conduct.  This has been a public service announcement from your favorite website.  Teeheehee!

#930.  WHO: John Scherrer
WHEN:  At the May 25, 2000 road workout, John was seen muttering "Madness" as he gave chase to the pace pushers
WHAT HE SAID AFTERWARDS: "This is OBVIOUSLY a reference to the last line of  the movie The Bridge on the River Kwai.  The guy who says that has just watched the bridge get destroyed and everybody get shot.  Like him, I was watching everybody getting ready to blow up."

#929.  WHO:  Roland Soong
SUBJECT:  Safety rules
BACKGROUND:  Over many years, the club workouts have sometimes been held in extreme weather conditions.  There have been hurricanes, ice storms, snow storms, blizzards, torrential rains, hail storms, etc.  But there has always been one constant rule --- Clear out as soon as lightning strikes! (Victor Osayi's conduct in Famous Saying #925 is an absolute no-no!)
WHAT HE SAID:  "I recall a particular workout at East River Park in the mid-1990's when George Wisniewski was the coach.  It was an overcast day in midsummer with an ominous threat of rain.  So George dutifully explained that the workout would be halted immediately upon lightning.  As he spoke, the group could see lightning bolts coming down in the distance behind him.  But he could not see them, and there were no thunderclaps.  We don't know what George thought about this group of giggling people, but we actually finished the whole workout that day."

#928a.  WHO:  Yves-Marc Courtines
WHEN:  May 25, 2000 road workout
SITUATION:  After the official workout was over, Yves-Marc and John Scherrer decided to run some 100m strides by themselves.  After the first one ...
WHAT HE SAID:  "I've done my first 100m stride and I don't need to do any more.  This was all about sucking dust after John."

#928b.  WHO: John Scherrer
SITUATION:  In response to Ramon Bermo's heckling, "This is too easy because you guys are sprinting downhill."
WHAT HE SAID:  "I need to practice downhill running.  I do fine going uphill, but Alan Ruben kills me on the downhill."

#927.  WHO:  Jennifer Lynch
SITUATION:  A continuing tradition on this website is the weekly cover photo of our people.  During the fourth week in May, 2000, the following photo appeared with the caption: "How many of you can name this teammate?"

WHAT SHE WROTE: "Well, no one was more surprised than me, Jennifer Lynch, to see my photo on the website this morning.  If you don't know me it is because I spend most of the workout behind most of you, WAY BEHIND you, more often than not."

#926.  WHO:  Isaya Okwiya
SUBJECT:  On or about May 18, 2000, this website carried a report item: "TURTLE TROT:  We have all heard of races named Turkey Trot scheduled around the Thanksgiving holiday.  But how about the Turtle Trot 5K in Turtle Creek, PA?  On July 25, 1998, Isaya Okwiya was second in this race in a time of 16:22."
WHAT HE SAID: "This race was such a long time ago that I had even forgotten about it, and I was not with the Central Park Track Club at the time.  How does our website guy find these things?  What does he do with all his time?"
COMMENT:  Actually, we also knew that on July 26, 1997, he finished in the same Turtle Trot in a time of 16:24 again in second place, for a net improvement of two seconds in one year.

#925.  SUBJECT:  May 18, 2000 workout
CONDITIONS:  Deluge --- buckets of rain, plus thunder and lightning

• WHAT Noel Comess SAID:  "I was going to do the workout.  But it got dark all of a sudden.  I knew that the sun doesn't go down this early at this time of the year.  So I looked out the window and what I saw convinced me not to go."

• WHAT Craig Chilton SAID: "I got there at 7:03pm.  That is relatively early and I thought I would have to stand around for another 10 minutes before the workout starts.  Instead, there was no one there.  I actually stood around in the rain for ten minutes waiting for someone to show up."

• WHAT Jerome O'Shaughnessy SAID: "When I got there, the group had just left.  J.R. Mojica told me that the group had just gone up north, so we gave chase.  It was a great workout!" 

• WHAT Brian Barry SAID: "When I got out of the subway station, it was already raining hard.  I stood under an awning to wait for the rain to stop.  But it continued to rain hard.  After half a hour, I just turned around and took the train back home."

• WHAT Mary Rosado SAID:  "We tried to do the track workout at East River Park.  I had to run in lane three because there was too much water accumulating on the inside lanes."

• WHAT Phil Lee SAID: "Coach Brian Denman's business suit got quite wet."

• WHAT Craig Chilton SAID: "I want to know how many people from the A group showed up."  Answer: None.  And no triathletes either (built-in excuse because they were on their way south to do the Assault on Mount Mitchell).

• WHAT Victor Osayi SAID:  "When the lightning and thunder came, I stood underneath a tree and I hoped that it would not be struck!"  To which Tony Ruiz asked, while fully expecting an affirmative answer, "... and I assume that you must have picked the tallest tree!?"

COMMENT:  This is one workout that will go into the legends ...

#924.  WHO:  Devon Sargent
WHEN: May 23, 2000
WHERE:  East River Park track workout
CONDITIONS:  Cold and rainy, miserable for a track workout
SITUATION:  Devon was just photographed hiding underneath the grandstand seats
WHAT SHE SAID:  "Yes, I am trying to stay out of the rain and I also don't want to run."
COMMENT:  Anything else to add ... ?
COMMENT:  As a lawyer, Devon must know her Miranda rights --- "anything you say can and will be used against you."

#923.  WHO: David Pullman
SITUATION:  On our website, there was a link titled The Two Margarets with the following note: Margaret Angell and Margaret Schotte are our teammates.  But did you know that they were teammates once upon a time at Harvard University?  And did you know that they even came down to compete in the 1996 Heptagonal Cross Country Championships at Van Cortlandt Park?"
WHAT HE SAID:  "I read about the two Margarets on the website.  I have even met both of them!"
COMMENT:  Does he think that this might have been a fictional soap opera?

#922.  WHO:  Stéphane Bois
TO WHOM: Toby Tanser
SUBJECT:  His entry to  Toby's quiz, May 2000
WHAT HE WROTE:  "At the very least, you owe me an aspirin for the headache that your questions gave me ..."
COMMENT:  His headache was considerably relieved upon learning that he won the grand prize of an official Tanzania Fila jacket.

#921.  WHO: Bola Awofeso
SUBJECT:  His recovery period after the 2000 Boston Marathon, consisting of mostly cycling and no running

#920.  WHO: Julia Casals
SUBJECT:  How to get your running in while driving from New York City to Chicago and back
WHAT SHE SAID:  "Whenever we hit a traffic jam, we would get out and run a bit."

#919.  WHO: Frank Handelman
SUBJECT:  Training miles
WHAT HE SAID:  "When Jack Brennan and I were attending NYU Law School, we used to run up from the Village to and across the George Washington Bridge and then all the way back.  At first, we took that to be a 23 mile run.  Later, as we got faster, we decided that it was 20 mile run.  Finally, we concluded that it was 18 miles, even though it was the same route over the years."

#918.  WHO:  Roland Soong
SUBJECT:  The internet-related value that a club member gets for the $75 annual fee
WHAT HE WROTE:  "The Central Park Track Club built this website to serve its members in a number of ways --- communication, coordination, information, photos, social bonding, networking, business promotions, etc.  As of May 2000, this website gets an equivalent of 250,000 page views annually.  Now, if you were to go to a mass audience website such as Yahoo.com, they will charge you something like $5 per thousand page views for a banner ad that produces less than 0.1% click-through rate.  So for your annual club fee, you are receiving something of the order of thousands of dollars worth of exposure.  Of course, niche websites with targeted audiences can charge much higher rates than that.  In our case, the audience is in fact the most desirable for you --- your peers consisting of team members and other people in the running community.  For example, read our report on the first Corporate Challenge Race of the year 2000 in New York City:

Yves-Marc Courtines ran 21:52, and was the fourth finisher on the 5-person Donaldson, Lufkin and Jenrette team that finished second in the men's race.  On his team, the first three finishers were 3rd, 7th and 8th overall in the race but since they are not members of our club, you will never find out from us who they were.

Who do you think history will remember?  And that report item will remain here for perpetuity.  And all this for $75, in addition to all the other services and benefits."

POSTSCRIPT:  By the way, have you send that check in yet?  You know, it is almost June ...

#917.  WHO:  Jackie Cortes
WHEN: May 16, 2000
SUBJECT:  Why she showed up at the track workouts again
WHAT SHE SAID:  "I entered a low-keyed 5K race in my neighborhood.  It was a charity run organized by the local gym.  I was running next to an 18 year old ... imagine, an 18 year old! ... for most of the race.  In the end, she had a little more speed than I did and I lost by two seconds.  That is why I came to the track to get some leg speed back."
COMMENT:  It didn't help her confidence when the coach referred Jackie to the workout crowd as 'an old runner on the team.'

#916a.  WHO: Eden Weiss
WHEN:  May 16, 2000
WHAT HE SAID:  "I want to know how you found out about my race result from the Cinco de Mayo 5K in Prospect Park.  I couldn't even find it myself, but you published it on the website."
COMMENT:  (Top secret classified information)

#916b.  WHO:  Jackie Cortes
WHEN: May 16, 2000
SUBJECT:  See #917 above
WHAT SHE SAID:  "How did you find out about how I did in that race?  I absolutely did not tell anyone on the team."
COMMENT:  Not only did we know --- we even have a photo!

#915.  WHO: Toby Tanser
BACKGROUND:  We had offered a Food Critics' page on our website to allow our members to share their common experiences.  It may turn out that we can create an Airport Running Ratings  page as well based upon Toby's many travels.  Here is his top rating ---
WHAT HE SAID: "Miami International Airport is absolutely the worst airport around for running.  It was far too crowded to go fast."
COMMENT:  Besides, what respectable running outlet would have Burger King as its official restaurateur?

Here are some contributions from another intrepid traveler Roland Soong:

• Port Moresby, New Guinea --- "I have never seen an airport building anywhere else that consisted of a roof and no walls.  This was located in the tropics, so there was no point in having walls.  You can't do too much running here because you'll land right in the jungle."

• Santafe de Bogota, Colombia --- "Bring clean underwear!  They will go through EVERYTHING by hand on your way out!  Besides, you'll get plenty of exercise running around the place just trying to get your documents straightened out --- three different stops to get a waiver on the exit tax."

• Guam --- "Don't even think about running outside --- this place is famous for snakes!"

• Quito, Ecuador --- "You won't be able run along the runway because they leave the wreckage of previous crashes right there.  You should be looking for a chapel to pray instead."

• Singapore --- "Terrific modern airport.  Thick carpets will really save your legs.  DO NOT SPIT!  --- it is an offense punishable by a hefty fine and jail time."

• Darwin, Northern Territories, Australia --- "Never mind the running.  What was I doing there anyway!?"

#914.  WHO: Michael Trunkes
SUBJECT: Road workout, May 11, 2000
WHAT HE SAID: "I have given up running with the fast guys for now.  But I am just a couple of seconds faster than the B group --- they may run a 6 minute mile while I would run maybe 5:58.  Even so, they were telling me that I ran too fast for them.  In summary, nobody likes me anymore."
COMMENT:  There is a very simple way of making people like you --- see Famous Saying # 37.  If you can do that, everything else is easily forgotten.

#913.  WHO: Julie Denney
BACKGROUND:  On the result listing for the 2000 St. Croix International Triathlon, in which Scott Willett was 2nd overall male amateur and Julie Denney was 1st overall female amateur, the following comment had been inserted: "This race is nicknamed 'Beauty and the Beast'.  So who's the Beauty and who's the Beast?

Option 1: Julie is the Beauty and Scott is the Beast --- obvious but boring concept!
Option 2: Julie is the Beast and Scott is the Beauty --- interesting!
Option 3: Julie is the Beauty and Julie is the Beast --- much more interesting!
Option 4: The island of St. Croix is the Beauty and the one-mile steep hill in the bike leg is the Beast --- probably true, but much less interesting than any of the preceding options.

WHAT SHE SAID: "I thought it was pretty funny but for the fact that I was the Beast in two of the four choices."

COMMENT:  There is nothing wrong about being the Beast.  In fact, you want to be the Beast.  For example, the following congratulations went from Terri Sonenclar to her PR-setting, race-winning teammate Stacy Creamer: "I hear you are running like an animal!"

#912.  WHO: Mary Rosado
SUBJECT:  Why the Central Park Track Club should not have qualifying times for new members
WHAT SHE WROTE: "I certainly didn't consider myself competitive when I first joined the club, but I wanted to be."
COMMENT:  And the long list of people who blossomed after joining the club also includes Rae Baymiller, Diana Fitzpatrick-Nelson, Audrey Kingsley, etc.

#911: WHO: Phil Carpenter Lee
SUBJECT:  Report on weather conditions for the May 9th, 2000 outdoor track workout, on a 90 degree plus day
WHAT SHE SAID: "It's still kinda cold outside!!!  Well, maybe not."

#910.  WHO: Eric Forestier
WHEN: May 12, 2000
WHAT HE WROTE: " I am extremely disappointed to have missed the 80000 target.  I got 79999 and 80001 (is it one of your tricks?!). It was my only chance to appear in the club website since my current schedule prevents me from training and racing!"
SUPPORTING EVIDENCE:

#909.  WHO: Harry Morales
WHEN: End of May 11, 2000 road workout, after Alan Ruben just said, "I've got to go home now.  You know, I have a wife and two young kids waiting for me."
WHAT HE SAID: "I've got to go home now.  You know, I have a word processor waiting for me."

COMMENT:  What does he do on that word processor?  Here is an excerpt from his translation of the short story 'For Objects Only' by Mario Benedetti: "For the time being, no one enters the residence, but, if someone were to enter; or, better yet, if only a gaze would penetrate; without touch, without taste, without smell, without heating, just a gaze; and would coldly take an organized visual inventory of its objects, starting, let's say, on the right, the first object it would have to encounter would be a long sofa, covered in dark green velvet, already quite deteriorated and with two cigarette burns on the back edge.  On the sofa there is a pile of newspapers and magazines, but the hypothetical gaze would only be able to see the magazine that is lying on top of the pile; that is to say, a not very new issue of Claudia, and at most surmise, thanks to the special characteristics of its typography, that the section of newspaper that is sticking out underneath the other newspapers, although it doesn't display any title or offer a direct hint, could be part of BP-Color."  Wow!  Where are the periods, Harry?

#908.  WHO: Ramon Bermo, famed NYU Running Club coach
SUBJECT: Special training tip
WHAT HE SAID: "Train hard, train smart.........and watch what you say when (named deleted to protect the innocent) is around !!!"

#907. WHO: Ross Galitsky / Roland Soong
SUBJECT: Information extraction
WHAT Ross SAID: "Ramon has some information about Scott and Julie, but I can't say anything."
WHAT Roland SAID: "Can you at least tell me which part of the world it is?  You know, the Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego game?"
WHAT Ross SAID: "Oh, my!  You even know about the San Diego race with Thomas Pennell and J.P. Cheuvront!"

COMMENT:  One thing leads to another, as the world turns ...

#906.  WHO: Ramon Bermo
SITUATION: Have just ran the Boston Marathon in 2:47, he had also entered the Canon Long Island Marathon less than three weeks later.  Now the Long Island had this option for people to choose between running a half marathon versus the full marathon in the middle of the race.
WHAT HE SAID: "To make sure that I don't try to run the marathon on a day when the temperature was going to be in the 90's, I did a six hour workout on the day before consisting of an 82 mile bike ride and a 6 mile run."
COMMENT:  We are so proud of him ...

#905.  WHO: Roland Soong
WHEN: May 9th, 2000
WHERE: East River Park track
SITUATION:  A soccer player overplayed the ball, which bounced over the wire fence and fell into East River
WHAT HE SAID: "Quick!  Where are our triathletes!?"
COMMENT #1:  Why is this non-running-related item here?  Because Audrey Kingsley said, "This had better appear in the Famous Sayings page" and we honor requests around here.
COMMENT #2:  The Central Park Track Club provides a total triathlete training circuit --- bike to the track, run around the track and jump into East River to retrieve soccer balls (for pay!).

#904.  WHO: Alan Ruben
WHEN: NYRRC Club Night, 2000, during which he received the Masters Male 40-44 Runner of the Year award
WHAT HE SAID: "I was honored to have won it.  It was the third time, and it might be last.  The difference in 2000 is that Jerry Macari's turned 40."

#903.  WHO: Megumi Fukami
WHEN:  NYRRC Club Night, during which she received the Female Ultramarathoner of the Year award
WHAT SHE SAID: "I'm honored to be recognized along with such talented and deserving athletes.  I'm encouraged to see so many women and masters runners in the ultra.  I want to thank the volunteers and officials who are out there no matter what the conditions."

#902.  WHO: Rich Hollander
TO WHOM: Ramon Bermo
WHEN: May 4th, 2000 road workout
WHAT HE SAID: "I am standing in the rear and admiring those calf muscles of yours."
COMMENT:  Great minds see and think alike (see Famous Saying # 775).

#901.  WHO: Craig Chilton / Audrey Kingsley
WHEN: May 2th, 2000
SITUATION:  On their way to the East River Park track, they were observed to come down the East River Esplanade staying by the river until they hit East 8th Street, whence they cut back to enter the park.  When asked what additional mileage they would enter into their running logbooks for this detour ...
WHAT HE SAID: "I only did it to keep her company."
WHAT SHE SAID: "I only did it to keep him company."